













  ((AWAKENINGS))
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  ORAL ARGUMENTS
    by Dave Bealer
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    A large number of crazy stories constantly circulate through 
  the online world (as opposed, of course, to the "real" world). 
  One of the most compelling stories to circulate recently has to 
  do with the first lunar landing in July 1969:
  
      When Apollo astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon,
      he not only made his famous "one small step for man, one giant
      leap for mankind" statement, but followed it with several 
      remarks -- mostly the usual COM traffic between him, the other
      astronauts, and mission control. Before he reentered the lunar
      lander, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky."
  
      Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning
      some rival Soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was
      no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
  
      Over the years many people have questioned Armstrong as to 
      what the "Gook luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5,
      1995 in Tampa, Florida, while answering questions following a
      speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to
      Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had
      died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question.
  
      When he was a kid Neil was playing baseball with his brother
      in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in
      front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were 
      Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As Neil leaned down to pick up the ball,
      he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral
      sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door 
      walks on the moon!"
  
    NASA categorically denies this story, which isn't too 
  surprising. Of all the things astronauts aren't supposed to talk 
  about in public, oral sex has to be near the top of the list.
  
    It turns out that I was in a position to do a little research 
  on this story. The Arts & Entertainment (A&E) cable network ran a 
  special on July 20, 1989 called "Moonwalk: As It Happened." Space 
  program fanatic that I am, I taped that special. Watching it in 
  December 1995, I did not hear Armstrong make the alleged statement.
  
    Obviously NASA had twenty years to edit out the "Mr. Gorsky" 
  reference from the moonwalk footage. But if the story is true, 
  NASA would have had no reason to do so before July 1995. On the 
  other hand, it is possible that Armstrong told NASA the whole story 
  privately upon returning to Earth in 1969. NASA officials would 
  have certainly removed the Gorsky comment from any copies of 
  footage released after that point. 
  
    While I couldn't prove the story true, there is still no proof 
  it didn't happen. Even if someone had a tape of Armstrong making 
  the comment, that wouldn't prove that the rest of the story is 
  true. So perhaps the story is true, and perhaps it isn't. For some 
  reason most men enjoy this story and want to believe it, whereas 
  most women refuse to pay it any lip service.
  
                                  (DREAM)
  
  Copyright 1996 Dave Bealer, All Rights Reserved.
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  Dave Bealer is a thirty-something mainframe systems programmer 
  who works with CICS, MVS and all manner of nasty acronyms at one 
  of the largest heavy metal shops on the East Coast. He shares a 
  waterfront townhome in Pasadena, MD. with two cats who annoy him 
  endlessly as he writes and publishes electronically. Please note 
  that due to the large volume of e-mail that Dave receives, he can 
  be slow to answer his mail. Dave is attempting to alleviate this 
  problem by teaching his cats to answer his routine e-mail.
  =============================(DREAM)================================
         
