Copyright 1994(c)
 
                       THE GOOD LUCK GIFT 
                    A Ruby Begonia Adventure 
 
     The coffee was perking away, filling the dining area with an
aroma all the more enticing because it was 6 AM. Ruby peered out
the window and saw that the flow of traffic was picking up. 
     "Any minute now," she assured herself aloud, "the boys will
be stopping in for their breakfast vittles." 
     She walked behind the counter, straightening out the salt and
pepper shakers and making sure the mustard and ketchup dispensers
were full. Just behind the counter, within arm's reach of a 
customer, was an open dispay case filled with donuts. 
     "What kind of donuts are these?" she called out, but in 
response, heard only the clatter of some pans from the kitchen 
area. 
     Ruby stuck her finger in each donut, licking her finger after
noting the flavor..."Custard" ... lick... "strawberry" ... lick 
... "custard" ... lick... "lemon"... lick... "chocolate." 
     In just a few minutes, two dozen filled donuts had been 
briefly impaled by Ruby's blood red, faux nail-adorned right index
finger. There was another dozen still to be inventoried when the
front door opened. 
     "Got a rush delivery here for a Ruby Begonia from The Exotic
Flower Shoppe," a FedEx man said, are you her.... or him?" 
     There was reason for the man to be confused as Ruby had 
decided not to wear her usual high-style attire and instead had 
fashioned for herself her vision of a proper chef's outfit. She 
had wrapped herself, toga-like, in a white sheet, tying it at 
her waist with a folded French tri-color. Stuck in that 
waistband, like some sort of caricature of a surgeon, were a 
large ladle, a wire wisk, an immense carving knife, and a 
spatula. On her head, she wore a well-starched, white pillow 
case that added about two feet to her height. 
     "I'm Ruby. Whatchya got for me? I didn't order anything from
a flower shop." 
     "It's in the truck. Looks like a gift, because there's a card
attached. I'll bring it right in. Sign here while I get it." 
     Eagerly, Ruby signed the delivery slip. She enjoyed getting
surprise gifts. 
     In a few seconds, the man returned, struggling to carry an 
enormous flower pot about two feet in diameter. Whatever was 
growing in it had to be huge, but Ruby couldn't see it because 
it was completely wrapped in green tissue paper. He set it on 
the counter next to Ruby. 
     Ruby handed the man the delivery slip and, after a moment's
hesitation, speared a donut... a custard one she hoped... with 
her finger and offered it to the driver. "Here," she said, 
"this one is free... a tip for your trouble, but if you want 
coffee... that will cost you a buck a cup." 
     "No thanks, ... errr.... Lady. We can't accept tips," he said,
backing out of the door. 
     "Suit yourself," Ruby replied, placing the now double-pierced
donut back with the others. Ruby found the envelope with card 
stapled to the wrapping and tore it open to read it. 
 
        "We wish you good luck on your truck stop biz, 
        You'll now find out what hard work is. 
        To help you keep your place quite neat, 
        this gift of ours just can't be beat. 
        No spray, no strips, no pesticide, 
        the buggers won't have a place to hide. 
        Just a little water when things get dry 
        and you won't ever see a fly" 
 
                Best of luck 
                Jackie and Curt 
 
     Her eyes filling with tears at the touching gesture of her 
friends, Ruby removed the green tissue paper to reveal an enormous
Venus Fly Trap, with bright green leaves, a profusion of tendrils,
and several large hairy lobes. 
     Ruby stood back to admire the plant and decide where to put
it. 
     While she was watching, one of the plant's tendrils extended
itself along the counter, snared a donut, snapped back and flipped
the donut into one of the lobes. The lobe immediately closed down
around the donut. 
     "That had better be a custard donut, Buster, or you are going
to be the house salad on tonights dinner menu," Ruby snarled. 
     The plant burped. 
                           END/OCTOBER, '94

