
             BACKGROUND
  Up until 1940, computers were people. Dictionaries said a 
``computer'' was ``a person who computes''. For example, 
astronomers hired many computers, who computed the positions of 
the stars. People who computed were called ``computers''; 
machines that computed were called ``calculators''.
  After 1940, human computers were gradually replaced by gigantic 
machines. At first, those machines were called ``gigantic 
calculators''; but enthusiasts soon began calling them 
``electronic computers''. Today the word ``computer'' means ``a 
machine that computes''. This book explains how to buy and use 
such machines.
  During the 1950's, people began to realize that electronic 
computers can do more than compute. Today's computers spend only 
a small fraction of their time doing numerical computations; they 
spend most of their time thinking about words and ideas instead.
  Calling such wonderful machines ``computers'' is misleading. 
They ought to be called ``thinkers'' instead. The French call 
them ``ordinateurs'', which means ``organizers''; that more 
accurately describes what the machines do than our old-fashioned 
word ``computers''.
  If an alien ever visits our planet and examines how our 
computers act, the alien will deduce:
A ``computer'' is ``a machine that thinks''.
  Suppose the alien comes from a strange colony of uptight 
chatterboxes, called ``lawyers''. After analyzing more carefully 
how we use the word ``computer'', the alien will make this 
statement, which is long-winded, stuffy, and precise:
A ``computer'' is ``any machine that can seem to do useful 
thinking''.
That's the definition I'll use in this book!
  Since today's computers spend most of their time dealing with 
words and ideas, and spend very little time dealing with numbers, 
you need to know just a little math to understand computers. If 
you know that 5.2 is more than 5 and less than 6, you know more 
than enough math to master this book and get hired as a computer 
expert! Becoming a computer expert is easier than becoming an 
auto mechanic, and you don't get greasy!
                                               Three computer sizes
                                         Computers come in three 
sizes: big, small, and teeny-weeny. The big ones are called 
maxicomputers (or mainframes); the small ones are called 
minicomputers; and the teeny-weeny ones are called 
microcomputers.
                                         Those terms are vague. 
How big is big? How little is little? How teeny-weeny is 
teeny-weeny? Opinions differ.
                                         It's like trying to 
measure a person. If somebody calls you ``big'', it could mean 
three things:
You're tall.
You're fat.
You're sexually well endowed.
The same is true for computers: ``big'' is whatever excites the 
salesperson.
                                         Though vague, the term 
``microcomputer'' is handy. Especially if you're male, you'll 
find that saying ``I have a microcomputer'' is better than saying 
``I have a teeny weeny.''
                                         If somebody invents a 
totally new computer (resembling no older computers), and it 
costs between $10,000 and $300,000, it's called a minicomputer. 
Anything more expensive is a maxicomputer; anything cheaper is a 
microcomputer.
                                         Maxicomputers can cost 
up to $20,000,000. The most expensive maxicomputers (costing over 
$10,000,000) are called supercomputers.
                                         Microcomputers can cost 
down to $1. Yes, even you can afford some sort of microcomputer! 
If you're lucky, you'll even get one as a birthday present from 
your Mommy or Daddy or Hubby or Wifey.
                                         If somebody invents a 
new computer resembling an older computer, the new computer is 
called the same type as the older computer, regardless of price. 
For example, if somebody invents a new computer that understands 
exactly the same commands as a famous minicomputer, the new 
computer is called a ``minicomputer'' also, even if it costs less 
than $10,000 or more than $300,000. If it costs less than 
$10,000, it's called a low-end minicomputer (and probably runs 
rather slowly); if it costs more than $300,000, it's called a 
high-end minicomputer or supermini (and probably runs 
extra-fast).
                                         Usually, a maxicomputer 
fills a room; a minicomputer fits in a corner; and a 
microcomputer flops out on a desktop.
                                         Companies began selling 
maxicomputers in the 1950's, minicomputers in the 1960's, and 
microcomputers in the 1970's. Today you can buy all three sizes.

                                                   Maxicomputers
                                         The dominant 
manufacturer of maxicomputers is IBM, which stands for 
International Business Machines Corporation. Too often, it also 
stands for ``Incredibly Boring Machines'', ``Inertia Breeds 
Mediocrity'', ``International Big Mother'', ``Imperialism By 
Marketing'', ``Intolerant of Beards & Moustaches'', ``Idolized By 
Management'', ``Incompetents Become Managers'', ``It Baffles 
Me'', ``It's a Big Mess'', and ``It's Better Manually''.
                                         Since IBM's first 
popular computers were colored blue, IBM's been nicknamed ``Big 
Blue''.
                                         Why is Big Blue the 
dominant computer company? That puzzles many young programmers, 
who ask, ``Mommy, why is
the sky Big Blue?''
  The first maxicomputers were invented in the 1940's and sold in 
the 1950's. Most of today's maxicomputers are souped-up versions 
of the IBM 360, which IBM announced in 1964. IBM called it the 
``360'' because it could accomplish the ``full circle'' of 
computer applications, instead of being restricted to just 
science applications or just business applications. In 1970, IBM 
invented a souped-up version (called the IBM 370) and then 
further improvements. IBM's newest maxicomputers (the IBM 3090 
and the IBM 4381) understand the same commands as the IBM 360 and 
370, but obey the commands much faster and also understand some 
extra commands.
  IBM's competitors IBM outsells all its competitors combined.
  During the 1960's, maxicomputers were made by eight companies, 
called ``IBM and the Seven Dwarfs''. The dwarfs were Burroughs 
(whose computers are called ``burritos''), Univac (a division of 
Sperry Rand), NCR (which stood for National Cash Register), 
Control Data Corporation (CDC), Honeywell (whose original factory 
was next to a well), RCA (which stood for ``Radio Corporation of 
America''), and General Electric.
  In 1970, General Electric sold its computer division to 
Honeywell. In 1971, RCA's computer division shut down. That left 
just five dwarfs, whose initials spelled the word BUNCH. Cynics 
said that maxicomputers were made by ``IBM and the BUNCH''.
  IBM's top engineer (Gene Amdahl) and CDC's top engineer 
(Seymour Cray) both quit and started their own computer 
companies, called Amdahl and Cray.
  During the 1980's and 1990's, each company in the BUNCH 
disintegrated: Burroughs merged with Univac (and Sperry Rand) to 
form Unisys; NCR became part of AT&T; Control Data stopped 
building computers; and Honeywell sold its computer division to a 
French company, Bull.

            Minicomputers
  All the companies that make maxicomputers also make smaller 
computers ___ minicomputers. For example, IBM's newest 
minicomputer is the Advanced System 400 (AS/400). But the most 
popular minicomputers are made by other companies, who are 
minicomputer specialists.
  The most popular minicomputers are made by Digital Equipment 
Corporation (DEC). Its first popular minicomputers were the PDP-8 
and PDP-11.  DEC replaced them by the Vax (a souped-up PDP-11), 
then by a further improvement, called the Alpha. The typical Vax 
or Alpha costs more than $300,000 but is still called a 
``minicomputer'' (or ``high-end mini'' or ``supermini''), because 
it's based on the PDP-11, which was sold at minicomputer prices.
  DEC is in Massachusetts. Other popular minicomputer specialists 
___ also in Massachusetts ___ have been Data General (DG), Prime 
(jokes about which are called ``Prime ribs''), and Wang (founded 
by Dr. An Wang, a Chinese immigrant who became the richest man in 
Massachusetts: together with his wife and kids, his family was 
worth a billion dollars, until his son took over the business and 
wrecked it and An Wang died). Prime and Wang have stopped 
building computers.
  The remaining three minicomputer specialists are Californian: 
Sun (whose fortunes rose quickly but then set), HP (which stands 
for Hewlett-Packard and ``high-priced''), and Silicon Graphics 
Incorporated (SGI). Since computers from all three of those 
California companies are used mainly
for producing graphics (beautiful artwork, Hollywood special 
effects, ads, magazines, and ``artist renderings'' of creations 
by architects & engineers), they're called graphics/engineering 
workstations.

                                                  Microcomputers
                                         The most influential 
microcomputers are made by IBM and Apple.
                                         Apple Apple's first 
computer was called the Apple 1. Then came improved versions, 
called the Apple 2, the 2+, the 2e, the 2c, the 2c+, and the 2GS. 
Those improved versions are all called the Apple 2 family.
                                         They've become obsolete, 
and Apple has stopped making them. Now Apple sells a much 
fancier, totally different kind of microcomputer, called the 
Macintosh (or Mac). Of all the microcomputers built today, the 
Mac is the easiest to learn how to use.
                                         The Mac comes in many 
versions. The most popular are the Performa, the Quadra, and the 
Power Mac. Prices for good, complete Macs start at about $1300.
                                         IBM IBM's early 
microcomputers (such as the IBM 5100 and the Datamaster 23) were 
slow and overpriced.
                                         In 1981, IBM began 
selling a faster microcomputer, called the IBM Personal Computer 
(IBM PC). It became instantly popular because of its speed and 
amazingly low price.
                                         Later, IBM developed a 
slightly improved version, called the IBM PC eXTended (IBM PC 
XT), and then a much faster version, called the IBM PC with 
Advanced Technology (IBM PC AT).
                                         In 1987, IBM stopped 
making all those microcomputers and instead began making a new 
series of microcomputers, called the Personal System 2 (PS/2). 
The PS/2 computers run the same programs as the IBM PC but 
display prettier graphics and include ``slicker'' technology.
                                         Unfortunately, the PS/2 
computers were overpriced. In 1990, IBM began selling PS/1 
computers, which were similar to PS/2 computers but cost less. In 
1992, IBM invented a new series called the Valuepoint, which 
costs even less; it's a good deal, a good value, and that's the 
whole point! In 1993, IBM began selling an even cheaper series, 
called the Ambra.
                                         Instead of buying 
microcomputers from IBM, you can buy imitations, called 
compatibles or clones. Cynics call them clowns. They run the same 
programs as IBM's microcomputers but cost even less.
                                         The most popular IBM 
clones are manufactured by Compaq, Packard Bell, AST, Dell, and 
Gateway. Of those five clone makers, Compaq charges the most, 
Gateway charges the least, and the others charge in-between.
                                         IBM, Compaq, Packard 
Bell, and AST sell mainly through stores. Gateway's computers are 
sold just by mail-order ___ and so is IBM's cheapest series, the 
Ambra. Dell began as a mail-order company, then experimented by 
selling through stores also, but now sells just by mail again.
                                         You can buy IBM, Compaq, 
and Packard Bell computers at discount stores such as Staples, 
Office Max, Price/Costco, Sam's Club, Fretter, Circuit City, 
Computer City, Comp USA, Micro Center, Fry's Electronics, and J&R 
Computer World.
                                         Another chain of stores 
selling computers is Radio Shack, which is owned by Tandy. Tandy 
used to build its own computers, but in 1993 it sold its computer 
factories to AST. So if you buy a new Tandy computer, it's really 
manufactured by AST. Tandy's computers are usually overpriced.
  Apple, IBM, Compaq, Packard Bell, AST, Dell, and Gateway are 
big manufacturers. To pay less, buy from smaller manufacturers 
instead, who advertise in magazines such as PC Magazine and 
Computer Shopper. Of all the clone makers that are nationally 
known, the ones giving the lowest prices while maintaining high 
quality are Quantex (at 800-760-9001) and VTech (at 
800-BUG-EXPO).
  Wild ducks Instead of buying from the leaders (Apple and IBM) 
and their followers (who build clones), you can buy from wild 
duck companies who dare to be different, freed from the Apple-IBM 
mentality.
  The most popular wild duck company is Commodore. It became 
famous for making cheap computers such as the Pet, Vic, Commodore 
64, and Commodore 128 computers. Then Commodore switched to 
making a fancier computer called the Amiga, which can display 
mind-blowing color graphics on your screen and videotape. In 
1994, Commodore filed for bankruptcy, so Commodore's future is 
murky.
  Like Commodore, Atari made a cheap computer (the Atari XE) and 
then a fancier computer for color graphics and music (the Atari 
ST). Atari's computers used to be popular in America but have 
become rare. You can still find them in some American music 
stores and European computer stores.
  Though Tandy sells mainly IBM clones, Tandy occasionally sells 
cheaper computers that are older and weirder, such as the Radio 
Shack Color Computer.
  Who uses what? The typical business uses an IBM PC (or an XT, 
AT, PS/2, PS/1, Valuepoint, Ambra, or clone). So does the typical 
college and high school. Some businesses and colleges are trying 
Macs. The typical elementary school still uses Apple 2 family 
computers, because they cost less and offer a greater variety of 
kid-oriented programs. Wild duck computers, which are fun and 
cost little, appeal mainly to hobbyists seeking cheap thrills. 
Video artists (who create cartoons and other graphics for TV) 
prefer the Mac or Amiga. Musicians prefer the Mac, Amiga, or 
Atari ST.
  Of all the general-purpose computers sold today in the USA, 
about 12% are Macs (built by Apple), 12% are personal computers 
built by IBM, 12% are clones by Compaq, 8% are clones by Packard 
Bell, 8% are clones by AST, 8% are clones by Dell, 6% are clones 
by Gateway, 20% are clones built by other manufacturers, and the 
remaining 2% are weirder (Commodore Amiga, Atari ST, Radio Shack 
Color Computer, other wild duck computers, minicomputers, and 
maxicomputers). Since percentages bob up and down by 2% each 
month, I've rounded all those percentages to the nearest 2%.
  Although few people buy maxicomputers, IBM makes more profit 
from selling maxicomputers than microcomputers ___ since the 
typical maxicomputer sells for about a million dollars. And since 
the typical maxicomputer is shared by hundreds of people, 
maxicomputers affect many lives!
  Although hardly anybody buys wild duck computers anymore, many 
Americans still own the millions of wild duck computers that were 
sold during the early 1980's, before IBM PC clones became so 
popular and cheap.
  Those wild duck computers ___ abandoned by their owners, 
imprisoned forever in the darkness of American closets, and 
unable to re-emerge into the mainstream of American life ___ are 
the forgotten hostages of IBM clone wars.
                                                    Prices drop
                                         On the average, computer 
prices drop 3% per month. That price decline's been in effect 
ever since the 1940's, and there's no sign of it stopping.
                                         Suppose for a particular 
computer item the average price charged by dealers is $100. Next 
month, that item's average price will probably drop 3%, to $97. 
After two months, its average price will have dropped about 3% 
again, so its price will be 97% of $97, which is $94.09.
                                         Here's how the math 
works out:
On the average, computer prices drop about 3% per month,
30% per year,
50% every two years,
90% every six years,
99% every twelve years.
                                         Therefore:
If a computer item's average price is $100 today,
it will probably be $97 next month,
$70 a year from now,
$50 two years from now,
$10 six years from now,
$1 twelve years from now.
                                         The typical computer 
system costs about $2000 now. Here's what the math looks like for 
a $2000 system:
If a computer system costs you $2000 today,
that system will probably cost you $1940 if you buy it a month 
from now,
$1400 if you buy a year from now,
$1000 if you buy two years from now,
$200 if you buy six years from now,
$20 if you buy twelve years from now.
                                         Does that mean computer 
stores will be selling lots of computers for $20 twelve years 
from now? No! Instead, computer stores will still be selling 
computers for about $2000, but those $2000 systems-of-the-future 
will be much fancier than the systems sold today. By comparison, 
today's systems will look primitive ___ much too primitive to run 
the programs-of-the-future ___ so they'll be sold off as old, 
quaint, primitive junk in flea markets and garage sales.
                                         Find that hard to 
believe? To become a believer in rapidly dropping prices, just 
try this experiment: walk into a flea market or garage sale 
today, and you'll see computer systems selling for $20 that sold 
for $2000 twelve years ago!
                                         So the longer you wait 
to buy a computer, the less you'll pay. But the longer you wait, 
the longer you'll be deprived of having a computer, and the 
further behind you'll be in computerizing your life and turning 
yourself into a computer expert.
                                         Don't wait. Begin your 
new computerized life now!
                                         To computerize your home 
or small office, you'll probably buy a microcomputer, because 
it's all you can afford! To computerize a bigger company, buy a 
maxicomputer, or a few minicomputers, or lots of microcomputers.
                                         This book emphasizes 
microcomputers, for four reasons:
Over 99.9% of all computers sold are microcomputers.

Unless you're rich, a microcomputer is all you can afford.

Even if your business can afford a bigger computer, you'll 
typically get better service ___ and also save money ___ by 
wiring lots of microcomputers together instead.

Since microcomputers were invented more recently than bigger 
computers, microcomputers are based on fresh, new ideas that make 
them more responsive to the needs of modern society.
                                         Although I'll emphasize 
microcomputers, I'll explain bigger computers also, since some 
big businesses require them.
        Eight computer styles
  Computers come in eight popular styles: hidden, pocket, 
notebook, laptop, TV, desktop, luggable, and floor.
  Hidden computers A hidden computer hides inside another device.
  For example, a computer hides inside your digital watch. 
Another computer hides inside your pocket calculator. Another 
computer hides inside your video-game machine.
  Since such a computer spends its entire life dedicated to 
performing just one task (such as ``telling the time''), it's 
also called a dedicated computer. Most such computers cost under 
$10.
  Pocket computers A pocket computer fits in your pocket. The 
typical pocket computer looks like a pocket calculator but 
includes keys you can press for typing all the letters of the 
alphabet, so you can store names and addresses and communicate 
with the computer by using English words. Since it fits in the 
palm of your hand, it's also called a hand-held computer or 
palmtop computer.
  The typical pocket computer comes with programs that help you 
jot notes, store phone numbers, and keep track of dates & times & 
to-do lists. That kind of pocket computer is called a personal 
digital assistant (PDA).
  The fanciest pocket computer is the Newton, developed by a 
research team from Apple and Sharp. It comes with many nifty 
programs that make it a PDA. Instead of including a keyboard, it 
includes a tablet you write on with a pen; the computer tries to 
read your scribbled handwriting ___ but often makes mistakes!
  Other pocket computers, which are more traditional and use a 
keyboard, are made by Sharp, Casio, Hewlett-Packard, Poquet, 
Atari, and Radio Shack. Most cost between $70 and $600. You can 
buy most of them from discount dealers such as S&W Computers & 
Electronics in New York (phone 800-874-1235 or 212-463-8330).
  Notebook computers To let a pocket computer fit in your pocket, 
the keys on its keyboard are very tiny and therefore hard to 
press (unless you have tiny fingers). Most adults that have big 
fingers prefer a notebook computer instead. It looks like a 
pocket computer but has bigger keys and a bigger screen. It's 
about the size of a student's 3-ring notebook holding a ream of 
paper.
  The typical notebook computer is about 11 inches wide, 8 
inches from front to back, and 1 inches thick. It weighs about 6 
pounds.
  Notebook computers that weigh under 4 pounds are called 
subnotebooks.
  The first notebook computer was the Tandy 100, built for Tandy 
by a Japanese company (Kyocera) in 1983. It was 12"x8"x2" and 
weighed just 4 pounds. Then Tandy invented the Tandy 102, which 
was thinner (1") and weighed just 3 pounds. Neither of those 
computers was IBM-compatible. Tandy's stopped making them.
  The most famous notebook computers are made by Apple, IBM, 
Compaq, and Toshiba. Companies such as VTech and Midwest Micro 
sell notebook computers that are better deals: they include more 
equipment per dollar. Most notebook computers cost between $1000 
and $2000.
                                         Laptop computers A 
laptop computer resembles a notebook computer but weighs slightly 
more. It weighs between 8 pounds and 16 pounds, including the 
battery. Though it's too heavy to be considered a notebook, it's 
still light enough to fit comfortably in your lap.
                                         The typical laptop 
computer weighs about 14 pounds. Laptop computers were popular 
during the 1980's. But in the 1990's, most manufacturers have 
redesigned their laptop computers so they weigh little enough to 
be called ``notebook computers'' instead. Hardly anybody builds 
laptop computers anymore, but many folks still use old laptops 
from the 1980's.
                                         TV computers A TV 
computer looks like a notebook or laptop computer but lacks a 
screen. Instead of including a screen, the computer attaches to 
your home's TV, so that whatever you type on the keyboard appears 
on TV! It turns you into a TV star! The TV screen shows 
everything you typed and the computer's replies.
                                         During the 1980's, the 
most popular TV computers were the Commodore 64, the Apple 2 
family, and the Radio Shack Color Computer. They're not built 
anymore, since modern desktop computers are better.
                                         Desktop computers 
Unfortunately, the picture on a TV screen is fuzzy. To get a 
sharper picture from a computer, replace the TV by a computer 
monitor, which is a modified TV specially designed for attaching 
to a computer.
                                         The typical computer 
monitor's screen is 12-inch or 14-inch (measured diagonally). A 
computer system that includes such a monitor is called a desktop 
computer system, because it's the ideal system to put on your 
desk.
                                         The typical desktop 
computer system consists of three objects: the keyboard, the 
screen, and the system unit (which contains the main circuitry). 
Wires run from the keyboard and screen to the system unit.
                                         The most popular IBM 
clones are all desktop computers.
                                         The Apple 2e, Apple 2c+, 
and Commodore 64 are basically TV computers, since they attach to 
TV's and their circuitry is small enough to hide inside the 
keyboard. But most folks who buy those computers attach monitors 
instead of TV's, to form desktop systems.
                                         Luggable computers 
Notice that most notebook and laptop computers are easy to carry 
but have poor screens, whereas desktop computers have excellent 
screens but are hard to carry. For a compromise, get a luggable 
computer: it resembles a desktop computer but is slightly 
smaller, so you can carry it more easily.
                                         Its little 9-inch screen 
displays the same info as a desktop computer's 12-inch screen but 
in miniature. To read the 9-inch screen without squinting, you 
must sit close! That screen's built into the system unit so you 
don't have to carry it separately. The system unit has a handle 
so you can carry the whole computer in one hand. The keyboard 
snaps onto the system unit, so when you pick up the system unit 
you're also picking up the keyboard.
                                         To stay small and easy 
to carry, the system unit contains hardly any slots for inserting 
extra circuitry. (If you want more slots, you must buy a desktop 
computer instead.)
                                         Altogether, the system 
unit (including the built-in screen and snapped-on keyboard) 
weighs about 20 pounds ___ which is light enough to lug. It's 
about the same size as a portable sewing machine or a bulging 
briefcase. It's also the size of a lunchbox big enough to hold 
the food for a family picnic. Such a computer's called a lunchbox 
or luggable or somewhat portable or transportable or compact.
  Pocket computers, subnotebook computers, notebook computers, 
laptop computers, and luggable computers are all examples of 
portable computers. Let's compare them. . . . 
Pocket computersweigh under 2 pounds.
Subnotebook computersweigh between 2 and 4 pounds.
Notebook computersweigh between 4 and 8 pounds.
Laptop computersweigh between 8 and 16 pounds.
Luggable computersweigh between 16 and 32 pounds.
Desktop computersweigh over 32 pounds.
  The first IBM-compatible luggable was the Compaq Portable. The 
first Mac that Apple invented was basically a luggable, since it 
had a 9-inch built-in screen and a handle; but since it lacked 
snaps to attach the keyboard, you had to carry the keyboard 
separately or buy a cloth bag holding both the keyboard and the 
system unit.
  Luggables aren't built anymore. Modern Compaqs and Macs are 
desktops, notebooks, or subnotebooks instead.
  Floor computers If a computer's too big to fit on your desktop, 
it stands on the floor. It's called a floor computer (or floortop 
or floor-standing or freestanding).
  If the computer's short enough, you can hide it under your 
desk. Otherwise, you must give the computer its own corner of the 
room, or perhaps the whole room!
  Most maxicomputers and minicomputers are floor computers; so 
are the fanciest microcomputers.
  If the computer's height is greater than its width, the 
computer's called vertical or vertically mounted or a tower. If 
the computer is much taller than wide, it's called a full tower; 
if the computer's just slightly taller than wide, it's called a 
mini tower.

        Inside your computer
  A computer includes three main parts. The part that thinks is 
called the processor (because it processes information). The part 
that remembers the computer's thoughts is called the memory. The 
part that communicates those thoughts is called the in/out 
system, because it passes information into and out of the 
computer.
  When you buy a computer, make sure the price includes all three 
parts!
  Each part is important. A computer without memory is as useless 
as a person who says ``I had a great idea, but I can't remember 
it.'' A computer without an in/out system is as useless as a 
person who says, ``I had a great idea, but I won't tell you.''
  Processor The part that thinks ___ the processor ___ is also 
called the central processing unit (which is abbreviated as CPU).
  During the 1940's and 1950's, the CPU was the biggest and most 
expensive part of the computer. But each year, manufacturers 
discover new ways to make the CPU smaller and cheaper. Today, the 
CPU is the smallest and cheapest part of the computer.
  In a microcomputer, the CPU is just a tiny square metal chip, 
about a quarter of an inch on each side and a hundredth of an 
inch thick. It typically costs under $10. That kind of processor 
___ small enough to fit on a single chip ___ is called a 
microprocessor.
  Memory The three most popular kinds of memory are ROM chips, 
RAM chips, and disks.
  The ROM chips remember information permanently. Even if you 
turn off the computer's power, the ROM chips continue to remember 
what they've been told.
                                         The RAM chips remember 
information temporarily. They're electronic scratchpads that the 
CPU uses to store temporary memos. They get erased when you 
switch to a different computer problem or turn the computer off.
                                         The disks work more 
slowly than ROM chips and RAM chips but can store larger 
quantities of information. Like ROM chips, disks can remember 
information permanently: unplugging the computer does not erase 
the disks. Each disk is round, but the typical disk is 
permanently sealed in a square casing, so that what you see is a 
square. The typical disk lets you edit the information on it. To 
use a disk, you must put it into a disk drive, which reads what's 
on the disk.
                                         When buying a computer, 
make sure the price includes all three kinds of memory: ROM 
chips, RAM chips, and disks (with disk drives).
                                         I/O The computer part 
that communicates ___ the in/out system ___ is also called the 
input/output system (or I/O system). It consists of many I/O 
devices.
                                         The five most popular 
I/O devices to buy are a keyboard, screen, printer, speaker, and 
mouse.
                                         The keyboard resembles a 
typewriter's. Put your fingers on the keys, and type commands to 
the computer!
                                         The screen is an 
ordinary TV or resembles a TV. The screen shows what you typed on 
the keyboard and also shows the computer's responses. The most 
popular kind of screen is called a monitor, which resembles a TV 
but has no dial to select channels: the only channel you get is 
``computer''.
                                         The printer resembles a 
typewriter but has no keyboard. It prints the computer's answers 
on paper.
                                         The speaker beeps at you 
when you type a wrong command. It can also play music and produce 
crude speech.
                                         The mouse is a box as 
big as a pack of cigarettes. To feed a picture to the computer, 
you draw the picture on the computer's screen by sliding the 
mouse across your desk. For example, you can draw a circle on the 
screen by sliding the mouse in a circular motion.
                                         Two of those devices ___ 
the keyboard and mouse ___ let you put information into the 
computer. They're called the input devices. The other three 
devices ___ the screen, printer, and speaker ___ let the computer 
spit out the answers and are called the output devices.
                                         For extra fun, buy an 
extra I/O device, called a modem (pronounced ``mode em''), which 
lets your computer tap into the phone system so your computer can 
chat with other computers around the world.
                                         When you buy a computer, 
check whether the price includes all six of those I/O devices! If 
you get all six and they work well, you can join the many excited 
computerists who sing every day, ``I/O, I/O, now off to work I 
go!''
                                         Putting it all together 
Besides those three main parts ___ the CPU, memory, and I/O ___ 
you also need cables (to connect the parts together) and a power 
supply (to get electricity to the parts).
                                         If your computer is 
small enough to run on batteries, the ``power supply'' consists 
of the batteries. If your computer is bigger and gets electricity 
by plugging into your office's wall, the ``power supply'' is a 
box called an AC/DC transformer: it converts the alternating 
current (coming from your office's wall) to the direct current 
that your computer requires.
                                         When you look at the 
most popular kind of computer, you see a metal or plastic box 
called the system unit, in which hide the CPU, speaker, power 
supply, and memory.
                                         The mouse is not inside 
the system unit; the mouse sits separately on your desk, and a 
cable runs from the mouse to
the system unit. The other I/O devices (keyboard, screen, and 
printer) typically sit separately (like the mouse), but some 
manufacturers build them into the system unit instead.
  Choose a safe environment During the summer, protect the 
computer's parts from overheating. Keep the computer cool! Turn 
it off when the room temperature rises over 93 ___ unless you 
buy a fan that creates a strong breeze, or you turn the computer 
off within 90 minutes to let it cool down. Pull down the window 
shade closest to the computer, to prevent sunlight from beating 
directly onto the computer.
  During the winter, turn the computer off when the room 
temperature is below 50. If the computer sat overnight in a 
cold, unheated car or office, don't use the computer until it 
warms up and any dewdrops in it evaporate.
  Make sure your computer gets enough electricity. Check which 
outlets in your house or office attach to which fuses, to make 
sure the computer's not on the same circuit as an electric 
heater, refrigerator, air conditioner, or other major appliance 
that consumes enough electricity to dim the lights.
  The three wares Computer equipment is called hardware because 
it's built from wires, screws, and other parts you can buy in 
hardware & electronics stores. Hardware includes the CPU, memory, 
I/O, cables, and power supply.
  The information that the computer deals with is called 
software, because you can't feel it: it flows through the 
computer's circuits as coded pulses of electricity. The computer 
can handle two kinds of software: data (lists of names, 
addresses, numbers, words, and facts) and programs (lists of 
instructions that tell the computer what to do).
  To feed the computer some software (data and programs), you can 
type the software on the keyboard, or insert ROM chips or disks 
containing the software, or let the computer receive the software 
from another computer (by running wires between the computers or 
letting the computers chat with each other by phone).
  If you feed the computer wrong software ___ wrong facts or 
wrong instructions ___ the computer will print wrong answers. 
Wrong stuff is called garbage. If you feed the computer some 
garbage, the computer spits out garbage answers.
  So if a computer prints wrong answers, the computer might not 
be broken; it might just have been fed wrong data or programs. If 
you think the computer's broken and tell a technician to fix it, 
the technician might reply, ``Hey, the computer's fine! Don't 
blame the computer! It's your fault for feeding it garbage! If 
you put garbage in, you get garbage out!'' That's called the 
principle of garbage in, garbage out (which is abbreviated GIGO, 
pronounced ``guy go''). The technician will say, ``it's just a 
case of GIGO''.
  The person sitting at the computer is called the liveware, 
operator, user, or meathead ___ because the person's head is made 
of meat instead of wires. The term meathead was first shouted 
publicly by that TV character from New York: Archie Bunker. The 
term liveware was invented in 1982 by Garry Trudeau, creator of 
the Doonesbury cartoons.
  For a complete computer system, you need all three wares: the 
hardware (equipment), software (information), and liveware 
(people).
  Beware of those three wares! You can spend lots of money on 
buying hardware (and repairing it), buying software (and 
improving it), and hiring people to help you (and training them). 
Make sure you've budgeted for all three wares!
  Congratulations! Now you know the three ways that buying a 
computer can suck up your money. Yes, buying a computer can 
really suck.
                                                    Subculture
                                         Computers are like 
drugs: you begin by spending just a little money on them, but 
then you get so excited by the experience ___ and so hooked ___ 
that you wind up spending more and more money to feed your habit.
                                         Your first computer 
experience seems innocent enough: you spend just a little money 
for a cute little computer that has a color screen. You turn the 
computer on, tell it to play a game, and suddenly the screen 
shows dazzling superhuman colors that swirl hypnotically before 
you. You say ``Wow, look at all those colors!'' and feel a 
supernatural high.
                                         But after two months of 
freaking out with your new computer, the high wears off and you 
wonder, ``What can I buy that's new, exciting, and gives me an 
even bigger high?'' So you buy more stuff to attach to your 
computer. Now you're in really deep, financially and spiritually. 
You're hooked. You've become addicted to computers. Each month 
you return to your favorite computer store, to search for an even 
bigger high ___ and spend more money.
                                         Look at me. I'm a 
typical computer junkie. I've already bought 40 computers, and 
I'm still going. Somebody help me! My computers have taken over 
my home. Whenever I try to go to sleep, I see those computers 
staring at me, their lights winking, tempting me to spend a few 
more hours in naughty fun, even if the sun's already beginning to 
rise.
                                         Drug addicts quickly 
catch on to computer jargon, because the lingo of today's 
computerized techno-streets is the same as that of the druggie's 
needle. For example, to buy a computer, you go to a dealer; and 
when you finally start using your computer, you're called a user.
                                         As you get in deeper, 
searching for ever greater highs, you squander even more money on 
computer equipment, called hardware. You stay up late (playing 
computer games or removing errors from your programs) so that the 
next morning you come into work all bleary-eyed. Your boss soon 
suspects your computer habit, realizes you're not giving full 
attention to your job, and fires you.
                                         Since you're jobless and 
your computer bills are mounting higher and higher, you soon run 
out of money to spend on computers ___ but you still have that 
urge to spend more! To support your habit, you write programs and 
try to sell them to your friends. That makes you a pusher. You 
turn your friends into addicts too, and you all join the 
ever-increasing subculture of computer junkies.
                                         The only difference 
between computers and drugs is that if you're into drugs people 
call you a ``washout'', whereas if you're into computers people 
say you have a ``wonderful career''. And they're right!
                                         As a computer pusher, 
you can make lots of dough. But to be a successful pusher, you 
must do it in style: instead of calling yourself a ``pusher'', 
call yourself a computer consultant. Yes, a computer consultant 
is a person who gives computer advice to other people ___ and 
pushes them into buying more computers!
                                         A computer consultant 
who gives free computer help to kids is kind-hearted but also a 
wolf in sheep's clothing. The truth is revealed in these lines of 
Tom Lehrer's song, ``The Old Dope Peddler'':
He gives the kids free samples
Because he knows full well
That today's young innocent faces
Will be tomorrow's clientele.

  My marriage I'm married to a computer. Marrying a computer is 
much groovier than marrying a person. For one thing, computers 
are good at ``getting it on'': they make you feel all electric 
and tingly. And computers never argue: they're always ready to 
``do it'' (except when they ``have a headache'').
  I wanted to call this book ``The Sexual Guide to Computers'' 
and put a photo of my wife and me on the cover; but some parts of 
the country still prohibit mixed marriages. That cover would be 
banned in Boston, which (alas!) is where I live. So I had to play 
cool and say ``Secret'' Guide to Computers. But here's the real 
secret: this book's about sex.
  Your marriage The computer will fascinate you. It'll seduce you 
to spend more and more time with it. You'll fall in love with it.
  You'll even start buying it presents. You'll buy it exotic 
foods ___ expensive programs to munch on. You'll buy it new 
clothes ___ dress it in a pretty little cloth cover, to keep the 
dust off. You'll adorn it with expensive jewels ___ a printer and 
an extra disk drive.
  Then the computer will demand you give it more. While you're 
enjoying an exciting orgy with your computer and think it's the 
best thing that ever happened to you, suddenly the computer will 
demand you buy it more memory. It'll refuse to continue the orgy 
until you agree to its demand. And you'll agree ___ eagerly!
  The computer's a demanding lover. You'll feel married to it. If 
you're already married to a human, your human spouse will feel 
jealous of the computer. Your marriage to that human can 
deteriorate and end in divorce.
  Several women got divorced because they took my computer 
course. Their husbands had two complaints:
``You spend most of your time with the computer instead of with 
me. When you do spend time with me, all you want to talk about is 
the computer.''
  To prevent such a marital problem, coax your spouse to play a 
video game on the computer. Your spouse will get hooked on the 
game, become as addicted to the computer as you, enjoy blabbing 
about the computer with you, and even help you spend money on 
your habit. Sociologists call that technological progress.

         Why buy a computer?
  The average American has three goals: to make money, have fun, 
and ``become a better person''. Making money is called business; 
having fun is called pleasure; and becoming a better person is 
called personal development. The computer will help you meet all 
three goals: it'll improve your business, increase your pleasure, 
and help you grow into a better person.
  The average computer buyer is a male who comes out at noon. 
During lunch hour, he walks into a computer store and says he 
wants to computerize his business. He wants a computer to do his 
accounting and also handle his mailing list. The computer store's 
salesperson talks him into also wanting a word-processing 
program, to help handle business correspondence.
  After visiting one or two other computer stores, he buys a 
computer. Though the computer costs a lot, the salesperson 
reminds him that Uncle Sam gives a tax break for buying it since 
it's a ``business expense''.
  He brings it home but starts feeling guilty about having spent 
so much. How will he convince his wife that the purchase was 
wise?
  Suppose his wife's an old-fashioned mom who cooks. He tries to 
convince her that the computer will help her cook. . . .
                                         ``It will help you store 
your recipes, darling,'' he coos.
                                         ``No thanks,'' she 
replies. ``When I find a recipe in the newspaper, I don't want to 
spend 15 minutes typing the entire recipe into the computer. I'd 
rather just clip the recipe out of the newspaper and ___ presto! 
___ tape it to a file card. My manual system is faster than a 
computerized one!''
                                         He tries again. ``You 
could use the computer to store your phone numbers. When you want 
to look up a phone number, the computer will tell you 
instantly.''
                                         She retorts, ``No 
thanks. To make a phone call, I don't want to have to turn on the 
computer, request the `telephone' program, wait for the computer 
to ask whose number I'm interested in, sit at the keyboard and 
type in the jerk's entire name, then wait for the computer to 
respond. Instead of doing all that, it's quicker to just open my 
little black phone book, flip to the page where the number is, 
and dial my friend. Try again, lover-boy!''
                                         ``Well, darling, you 
could use the computer to remind you of birthdays and 
appointments.''
                                         ``You must be crazy! I 
remember them quite well without a computer. I scribble a note on 
my calendar, which serves fine and costs just $5 instead of 
$1000. I understand how a disorganized bird-brain, like you, 
might need a computer to survive; but since I'm better organized, 
I don't need to rely on mechanical help.''
                                         Though admitting the 
computer does not fulfill any real need in the home, he lusts to 
buy a computer anyway ___ for the thrill of it ___ and looks for 
an excuse to justify the cost. The computer's a solution looking 
for a problem.
                                         Women buy computers too. 
Apple ran a TV ad showing Dick Cavett in a kitchen, as he 
interviews a woman who bought a computer. ``You're using it to 
store your recipes?'' he asks. ``No!'' she retorts, ``I'm using 
it to chart stocks!''
                                         If you buy a computer, 
the idea of ``using the computer to run your business'' and 
``using the computer to store recipes'' are just excuses. Here 
are the REAL reasons why people buy computers. . . .
Teenager: ``Computers are a blast: sci-fi come true! Programming 
computers is the next best thing to becoming an astronaut!''

Parent: ``Computers are taking over! My kids will have to master 
them to survive. If I buy my kids a computer, they'll explore it 
(instead of sex & drugs), get curious about how it's programmed, 
become programmers, get straight A's in school, become computer 
consultants, make lots of dough, and share their wealth with me, 
so I can brag about them to my neighbors.''

Grandparent: ``I want to be part of the 20th century. The whole 
world's becoming computerized, and I don't want my grandkids to 
think I'm `out of it.' I want to share in this new excitement.''

Kindergartner: ``Grandma, please buy me a computer for my 
birthday! I really want one! And if you don't buy it, they say 
I'll never go to Harvard.''

Social climber: ``Damn! Now that big cars are pass, the 
computer's the only status symbol left. I'm sick of being 
intimidated by neighbors and bosses spouting computer jargon. I'm 
gonna learn that mumbo-jumbo myself so I can get back at those 
pompous asses and intimidate THEM!''

Worried worker: ``My company is computerizing. If I don't master 
computers, they might master ME and take away my job! If I learn 
enough about them, I can keep my job, get a promotion, then quit 
and become a rich computer consultant!''

Adventurer: ``The computer's a challenge. If I can master it, I 
know I'm not as stupid as people say!''

Middle-aged: ``My life's become boring. I need an exciting new 
hobby ___ a computer! It's fun, could help my business, and even 
help me start a new business on the side. And I can keep fiddling 
with that cute toy even after my company retires me.''

Doctor: ``Playing with the computer's anatomy is like playing 
God. Besides, with a computer I could get my patients to pay 
their bills!''

English teacher: ``My students get so hooked on computer games! 
I'm gonna find out why, then use computers to channel the kids' 
excitement toward a higher good: poetry!''

Wanting what's due: ``I've worked hard all my life; I DESERVE a 
computer! I'm gonna get my hands on that mean machine, force it 
to obey all my commands, and make it my personal slave.''

Subversive: ``If Big Brother has Big Blue watching me, then by 
gosh I'll turn my computer into Big Mama and scramble their 
waves!''
                                         Will your computer 
fulfill all those dreams? This Guide will help you find out!
               Hassles
  When you buy a new computer for your business, you'll have lots 
of hassles.
  Repairs Since a complete computer system includes so many parts 
(CPU, RAM, keyboard, disk drives, printer, software, etc.), at 
least one of them won't work properly, and you'll need to fix it. 
Since the manufacturer or store will provide free repairs during 
the first year, you'll lose nothing but your temper.
  Manuals You won't completely understand the manuals for your 
hardware and software, so you'll ask your friends and me for 
help. You can also try getting help from the manufacturers and 
dealers; but if your question's long-winded, their answers will 
be curt.
  If the dealer who sold you the computer is honest, he'll say, 
``I don't know how to run all the hardware and software I sold 
you. To learn how, read the manuals. No, I haven't read them 
myself, because they're too long-winded, complicated, and vague. 
If you don't like the manuals, take our courses, which are 
expensive and won't teach you as much as you need but at least 
will make you feel you're making some progress.''
  Most dealers are not that candid.
  Programs If you try writing your own programs, you'll discover 
Murphy's law: no matter how long you think a program will take to 
write, it will take you longer. If you're wiser and try to buy a 
finished program from somebody else, you'll find the program 
works worse than advertised, its manual is missing or 
unintelligible, and you'll need to modify the program to meet 
your personal needs.
  Data entry If you figure out how to use the program, your next 
torture is to type the data you want the program to process. The 
typing is sheer drudgery, but you must do it.
  Worthwhile? Those headaches are just the beginning of what can 
become an extended nightmare. Buying a computer starts by being 
exciting but quickly becomes nerve-racking.
  Eventually, you'll get past that nerve-racking transition stage 
and become thrilled.
  That painful transition is worth the effort if you plan to use 
the computer a lot. But if you plan to use a computer just 
occasionally, you might be better off not buying a computer at 
all: continue doing your work manually.
  Promises Salespeople wanting you to buy fancy hardware or 
software say ``it will be great'', but computer stuff never turns 
out as good as promised.
  For example, there's the tale of the woman who was married 
three times but remained a virgin. Her first husband, on his 
wedding night, discovered he was impotent; her second husband, on 
his wedding night, decided he was gay; and her third husband was 
a computer salesman who spent the whole night saying how great it 
was going to be.
  Moral: computer salemen make great promises but don't deliver.
  There's also the story of how a programmer died and came to the 
gates of Heaven, guarded by St. Peter, who let the programmer 
choose between Heaven and Hell. The programmer peeked at Heaven 
and saw angels singing boring songs. He peeked at Hell and saw 
wild orgies, so he chose Hell. Suddenly the wild orgies vanished, 
and he was dragged to a chamber of eternal torture. When he asked 
``What happened to the wild orgies?'', the devil replied ``Oh, 
that was just the demo.''
  Moral: many wild technologies are enticing; but when you try 
actually experiencing them, you have a devil of a time!
                                                    Periodicals
                                         To keep up-to-date about 
computers, read newspapers and magazines. They contain the latest 
computer news, criticize hardware and software, advise you on 
what to buy, and include ads for the newest products, services, 
and discount dealers.
                                         Some ads and articles 
use technical computer jargon, which you'll understand by reading 
this book.
                                         How to get periodicals 
Visit your local computer stores and bookstores, and buy a copy 
of each newspaper and magazine that interests you. (If you live 
near Boston, you'll find many computer magazines in the kiosks in 
the middle of Harvard Square. If you visit a chain of computer 
stores called Comp USA, you'll find computer magazines there at 
discounted prices. Your local branch of B. Dalton Bookseller is 
another place to find lots of computer magazines.)
                                         After reading the 
periodicals you bought ___ or borrowed from your local library 
___ subscribe to the ones you like best.
                                         Most periodicals come 
with a coupon that gives you a ``special'' discount off the 
subscription price ``for new subscribers, if you hurry''. Don't 
bother hurrying: the same discount is offered to practically 
everybody every year. And next year, when you renew, you'll be 
offered the same ``special'' discount, ``for our loyal readers, 
if you hurry''.
                                         Shortly after you buy a 
one-year subscription, you'll receive a dishonest letter from the 
publisher warning that your subscription will ``run out soon'' 
and that ``if you renew now, you'll get a special discount''. 
Don't believe the letter; ``run out soon'' usually means ``run 
out eight months from now'', and ``if you renew now'' means ``if 
you renew sometime within the eight months, or even later''. Feel 
free to wait.
                                         How to read reviews Many 
computer periodicals review the newest hardware and software, but 
don't take the reviews too seriously: the typical review is 
written by just one person and reflects just that individual's 
opinion.
                                         Some reviewers are too 
easy: they heap praise and say everything is ``excellent''. Other 
reviewers are too demanding: they say everything is ``terrible''. 
If one product gets a rave review, and a competing product gets a 
scathing review, the reason might be the difference between the 
reviewers rather than the difference between the products.
                                         Giant conglomerates Most 
computer magazines and newspapers are published by two giant 
conglomerates: Ziff and IDG.
                                         Ziff, based in 
Manhattan, has for decades published magazines about many 
hobbies. In 1982, when computers became a popular hobby, Ziff 
began acquiring computer-magazine companies (such as Creative 
Computing and PC Magazine) so that Ziff's become one of the 
biggest computer publishers.
                                         IDG (based in 
Framingham, Massachusetts) began publishing Computerworld in 
1967. Later, it began publishing and buying up many other 
computer periodicals around the world. Now IDG publishes 190 
computer periodicals in 60 countries.
                                         Ziff and IDG have 
declared war on each other. For example, IDG refuses to publish 
articles by columnists who submit articles to Ziff. Each computer 
columnist must choose between either being a Ziffer or an IDG'er.
                                         Mostly monthly Most 
computer magazines are published monthly and let you buy 
individual issues (for $2.95 or $3.95) or an annual subscription 
(for between $20 and $30).
  Computer Shopper The fattest computer magazine is Computer 
Shopper, formerly independent but now owned by Ziff. It's huge! 
Each issue contains over 800 pages, and each page is oversized 
(9"x13").
  That's the magazine where all aggressive discount dealers 
advertise. It's where you'll find the lowest prices. It contains 
the wildest ads and articles, all uncensored. Since its editors 
don't check the ads and articles for accuracy, treat their wild 
claims as ``questions to pursue'' but not as ``facts to trust''.
  The articles are relentlessly upbeat; they never criticize. For 
example, an article reviewing a lousy word processor raves about 
how it's so much better than a typewriter; an article reviewing a 
lousy 33-megahertz computer raves about how it's so much faster 
than a 25-megahertz model.
  Browsing through Computer Shopper, you might see an ad bragging 
that a product was declared ``Computer Shopper Best Buy of the 
Year''. That praise sounds impressive ___ until you realize that 
the judges were ``all the magazine subscribers who sent in 
postcards'', and the award just meant the subscribers admired the 
ad's low price and didn't necessarily try or even see the 
product!
  PC Magazine The most respected magazine is Ziff's PC Magazine 
because it's comprehensive, carefully edited, and its tone is 
restrained. It comes out every two weeks.
  Alas, its editors assume the readers are rich enough to spend 
$4,000 on a computer system. Its ``editor's choice'' for what to 
buy usually costs more than most folks can afford. Its editorials 
claim you're a primitive moron if you don't buy the hottest, 
newest, most expensive personal computers invented this month.
  Frankly, dear, I don't give a damn if a company can make a 
super-fast expensive computer. What I want is a reasonably fast 
computer that I can afford! I'm put off by magazines that say, 
``Here's something wonderful you can't afford.'' But us poor 
folks read PC Magazine anyway to find out how the other half 
live.
  Even if your company can afford a pricey computer system 
recommended by PC Magazine, your office should probably buy two 
cheap systems instead to make two employees happy.
  PC Magazine is famous for its blockbuster issues, such as its 
November issue that compares all new printers. But do you really 
want to read descriptions of 70 printers, 60 of which are no 
good? I wish the magazine would give brief descriptions of the 
bad 60 and longer descriptions of the good 10, but PC Magazine is 
too even-handed.
  Alas, PC Magazine says nothing about rip-offs and other 
complaints that consumers have about manufacturers, and it places 
too much emphasis on boring business applications and not enough 
on family fun & fascination.
  In short, PC Magazine represents the lifestyle of the rich and 
boring. But its even-handed careful editing make it a respected 
reference worth buying.
  PC World To compete against Ziff's PC Magazine, IDG publishes 
PC World. It was started by the founder of PC Magazine ___ Dave 
Bunnell ___ after he squabbled with Ziff.
  More human that PC Magazine, PC World includes a 
consumer-complaint department that publishes complaints about 
rip-offs and bad service. PC World also plays consumer advocate 
and gets the baddies to change their ways and give refunds to 
customers. When covering a topic such as printers, PC World 
covers fewer models than PC Magazine but covers those models more 
thoroughly and makes more comparisons between them.
  Whereas PC Magazine forgets to consider price, PC
forgets other factors. But to err is human.
                                         Easy magazines For folks 
who find PC Magazine and PC World too difficult, Ziff invented PC 
Computing, which is easier and includes great tutorials.
                                         An independent 
publisher, Peed, puts out PC Today, which is even easier, and PC 
Novice which is the easiest! PC Today and PC Novice are both very 
brief.
                                         Byte The oldest popular 
computer magazine is Byte. More technical than other popular 
magazines, it digs deeper into issues about designing computer 
hardware & software.
                                         Newest magazines After 
starting PC Magazine and PC World, Dave Bunnell started a wilder 
magazine, called New Media, devoted to computerized art, sounds, 
and fun.
                                         An even wilder magazine 
is a competitor called Wired, partly owned by Cond Nast 
(publisher of Mademoiselle, Glamour, Vogue, and Self). It's 
non-technical and espouses the grungy up-yours philosophy of 
life. It even prints four-letter words. Since each issue of Wired 
is wild, slick, and expensive, it's read by the hip rich, so it 
includes ads for upscale consumer goods such as Jetta cars and 
Absolut Vodka.
                                         Two new magazines that 
are more traditional are Windows Magazine and Windows Sources.
                                         Non-IBM magazines If you 
have a Mac, get Ziff's Mac User and IDG's Macworld. If you have 
an Apple 2, get 2 Alive (6 times per year). If you have a 
Commodore Amiga, get Amiga World.
                                         Weekly newspapers The 
only weekly newspaper covering computers of all sizes (maxi, 
mini, and micro) is Computerworld. It's published by IDG, which 
also publishes Infoworld, a livelier newspaper that concentrates 
on microcomputers. Infoworld's main competitors are Ziff's Mac 
Week (which covers Mac computers) and Ziff's PC Week (which 
covers the IBM PC and clones).
                                         Infoworld, Mac Week, and 
PC Week are intended for computerists who buy lots of computers. 
To subscribe, you complete application forms asking how many 
computer purchases you make or influence yearly. If you answer 
acceptably, you get the newspapers free; otherwise, you must pay 
$125 per year for Mac Week, $130 per year for Infoworld, $195 per 
year for PC Week. That method of distribution ___ ``specialists 
get it free, idiots pay through the nose'' ___ is called 
controlled circulation. It assures advertisers that the readers 
are either influential or rich. Alas, it widens the gap between 
the ``haves'' and the ``have-nots'': if you're a low-income 
novice, this policy is guaranteed to ``keep you in your place'', 
unless you're lucky enough to find those magazines in your local 
library.
                                         Computer Currents IDG 
publishes a monthly newspaper called Computer Currents and 
distributes it free at selected newsstands in six regions (San 
Francisco, Los Angeles, Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, and Boston). 
Each region has its own edition, with its own local news and ads. 
If you don't find one of the free newsstands, buy a subscription.
                                         Look at the back page In 
many computer magazines and newspapers, the most fascinating 
writing occurs on the back page.
                                         For example, the best 
rumor-mongerer is Robert Cringely, on the back page of Infoworld. 
The best humorists are Ron White (on the back page of Windows 
Sources), Lincoln Spector (on the back page of Computer 
Currents), and Rich Tennant (whose cartoons grace the back page 
of Computer Currents and PC Magazine).
  List Here's an alphabetized list of the popular computer 
periodicals.
Magazine  PublisherIssueYearEditorial officeToll free
Amiga WorldIDG    $3.95$30/$25NH603-924-9471800-365-1364
Byte      McGraw-Hill$3.50$30/$25NH603-924-9281800-257-9402
Computer CurrentsIDG$3.00$20/$0CA508-820-8118
Computer ShopperZiff$3.95$30/$22NY212-503-3900800-274-6384
ComputerworldIDG  $6.00$48/$40MA508-879-0700800-669-1002
Infoworld IDG     $3.95$130/$0CA415-572-7341
Mac User  Ziff    $2.95$27/$20CA415-378-5600800-627-2247
Mac Week  Ziff    $6.00$125/$0CA415-243-3500
Macworld  IDG     $3.95$30/$24CA415-546-7722800-524-3200
New Media Hypermedia$3.95$38/$0CA415-573-5170
PC ComputingZiff  $2.95$25/$17CA415-578-7000800-365-2770
PC MagazineZiff   $3.95$50/$35NY212-503-5255800-289-0429
PC Novice Peed    $2.95$24  NE  402-477-8900800-424-7900
PC Today  Peed    $2.95$24  NE  402-477-8900800-424-7900
PC Week   Ziff    $6.00$195/$0MA617-393-3700800-451-1032
PC World  IDG     $3.95$30/$20CA415-243-0500800-825-7595
Windows MagazineCMP$2.95$25/$17NY516-562-5948
Windows SourcesZiff$2.95$28/$20NY212-503-4144800-364-3414
Wired     Wired Ventures$4.95$40CA415-904-0660800-SO-WIRED
2 Alive   Quality Comp.$3.95$20MI313-774-7200800-777-3642
  That list shows each periodical's name, publisher, single-issue 
price, one-year subscription price (with any discounted price 
shown after a slash), editorial office's state and phone number, 
and any toll-free number for ordering a subscription.
  Daily newspapers For today's news about the computer industry, 
read the business section of your town's daily newspaper, or read 
national newspapers such as The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, 
and The New York Times. The computer articles in The Wall Street 
Journal are excellent ___ especially Walter Mossberg's editorial 
(on the first page of the Marketplace section on Thursdays).
  Every Tuesday, the Science section of The New York Times 
contains ads from New York's most aggressive discount dealers. It 
makes bargain hunters drool, but beware of dealers who are shady!

                Discount dealers
  In computer magazines and newspapers, you'll see many ads 
offering big discounts. And if you buy from a dealer who isn't in 
your state, the dealer won't charge you sales tax.
  Discount dealers change prices every month. Instead of asking 
them for catalogs (which might be out of date), examine their 
most recent ads. Then phone to confirm the prices. Usually, 
prices go down every month, but sometimes they rise.
  Before buying, ask whether the product's in stock, how long the 
dealer will take to fill your order, and how it will be shipped. 
Ask what the dealer charges for shipping: many dealers 
overcharge! Ask whether there's a surcharge for using a credit 
card. Since products are improved often, make sure the dealer is 
selling you the newest version.
  If the product you get is defective, the dealer or manufacturer 
will fix or replace it. But if the product is merely 
``disappointing'' or doesn't do what you expected or isn't 
compatible with the rest of your computer system, tough luck! 
Many discount dealers say ``all sales are final.'' Other dealers 
let you return computers but not printers, monitors, or software. 
Some dealers let you return products but charge you a 
``restocking fee'', which can be up to 25% of the purchase price!
  So before you buy, ask questions about the product's abilities 
to make sure it will do what you expect. Tell the dealer what 
hardware and software you own, and ask the dealer whether the 
product's compatible with your system.
  The typical product comes in a cardboard box. On the back of 
the box (or on some other side), you'll usually see a list of the 
system requirements. That's a list of what hardware and software 
you must already own to make that product work with your 
computer.
  Use your credit card Pay by credit card rather than a check. If 
you pay by credit card and have an unresolved complaint about 
what you bought, Federal laws say that the credit-card company 
can't bill you! Moreover, if the mail-order company takes your 
money, spends it, and then goes bankrupt before shipping your 
goods, the credit-card company gets stuck, not you!
  The nicest credit cards (such as Citibank's) double the 
manufacturer's warranty, so a ``one-year warranty'' becomes a 
two-year warranty! Does your credit card give you that warranty 
extension? Ask your bank!
                                                     What's 
missing? When buying computer equipment, find out what the 
advertised price does not include.
                                                     For example, 
the advertised price for a ``complete computer system'' might not 
include the screen. Ask! In a typical printer ad, the price does 
not include the cable that goes from the printer to your 
computer.
                                                     Read the 
fine print When reading an ad, make sure you read the fine print 
at the bottom of the ad. It contains many disclaimers, which 
admit that the deal you'll be getting isn't quite as good as the 
rest of the ad implies.
                                                     In the 
middle of an ad, next to an exciting price or feature or 
warranty, you'll often see an asterisk (*). The asterisk means: 
``for details, read the fine print at the bottom of the ad''. 
That fine print contains disclaimers that will disappoint you. In 
long multi-page ads, the fine print is often buried at the bottom 
of just one of the ad's pages, far away from the page where the 
asterisk appeared, in the hope that you won't notice the fine 
print.
                                                     So if you 
see what looks like a great deal, but the deal has an asterisk 
next to it, the asterisk means ``the deal is not really as great 
as we imply''.
                                                     Many 
computer ads contain this fine print. . . . 
``Monitor optional'' means this price does NOT include a monitor. 
The monitor costs extra, even though the ad shows a photo of a 
computer with a monitor.

``Monitor/keyboard optional'' means this price doesn't include a 
monitor and doesn't even include a keyboard. The monitor and 
keyboard cost extra.

``Upgrade price'' means you get this price just if you already 
own an older version of this stuff.

``With system purchase'' means you get this price just if you're 
stupid enough to also buy our overpriced full computer system at 
the same time.

``Reflects cash discount'' means you get this price just if 
you're stupid enough to pay cash instead of using a credit card. 
(By paying cash, you can't complain to a credit-card company if 
we rip you off.) If you use a credit card, we'll charge you about 
3% above the advertised price.

``Includes rebate'' means you must pay us more, then request a 
rebate from the manufacturer. (You'll probably never get that 
rebate, since you'll forget to ask us for the rebate form, or 
you'll forget to mail the rebate form to the manufacturer, or the 
rebate form will have already expired, or you'll lose the receipt 
or code number you must mail with the rebate form to get the 
rebate.)

``Manufacturer's warranty'' means that if the stuff breaks, don't 
ask us for help. Phone the original manufacturer instead (who 
will probably ignore you).

``Factory serviced'' means another customer bought this stuff, 
didn't like it, and returned it to the factory, which examined it 
and thinks it's good enough to resell (after jiggling it a bit), 
so now we're sticking YOU with this lemon.
``For in-stock items'' means that although we said we'd ship 
immediately, we won't if you order stuff that's not yet in our 
warehouse.

``25% restocking fee'' means that if you return this stuff, we 
won't give you your money back. Instead, we'll keep 25% of your 
money (as a restocking fee) and return just 75% to you.
  CDW versus PC Connection Back in the 1980's, two big mail-order 
dealers set the tone for the rest of the discount industry. Those 
dealers were Telemart and PC Connection.
  When Telemart went bankrupt in 1993, its assets were sold to 
Computer Discount Warehouse (CDW), which has continued Telemart's 
tradition of low prices and wide selection. Phone CDW in Illinois 
at 800-500-4CDW (for Mac goodies) or 800-454-4CDW (for 
IBM-compatible goodies).
  PC Connection has the best reputation for service because it 
processes orders fast, charges little for shipping, handles 
hassle orders promptly and generously, and gives technical help 
on a toll-free 800 number. It's in the tiny town of Marlow, New 
Hampshire (population 566, with a main street consisting mainly 
of a gas station). It began in a barn, then expanded to fill the 
inn across the street. Drop in anytime, enjoy the small-town 
friendliness, and wave to the 150 employees. Adventurers who've 
trekked to Marlow rave that it's quaint, friendly, and beautiful.
  PC Connection's divisions PC Connection has two divisions: IBM 
and Mac.
  The IBM division advertises in PC World (phone 800-800-0003 or 
603-446-0003) and PC Magazine (phone 800-800-0004 or 
603-446-0004). The Mac division calls itself Mac Connection in 
Macworld (phone 800-800-3333 or 603-446-3333) and Mac User (phone 
800-800-4444 or 603-446-4444). You can use the 800 numbers even 
if you're in Alaska, Hawaii, Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands, and 
Canada.
  Each division sells mostly software but also some hardware 
(printers, disk drives, monitors, and chips to add to your 
computer). If you don't have a computer yet, the IBM division 
will sell you a Compaq; the Mac division will tell you to buy a 
Mac from your local Apple dealer (since Apple prohibits 
mail-order dealers from selling Macs).
  Each division works round-the-clock, 24 hours daily (except 
Sunday evening and early Monday morning). Your order's shipped 
immediately, even if you've paid by check. (Checks are cleared in 
less than a day.) Your order's shipped by Airborne overnight 
express so it reaches you the next day; if you order between 
12:01AM and 3:15AM Eastern Time, you'll usually receive your 
order the same day (because the company built a warehouse next to 
Airborne's airport in Ohio).
  The IBM division is nice; the Mac division is even nicer. For 
USA shipping, the IBM division charges just $5, even if your 
order is big; the Mac division charges just $3. The IBM 
division's toll-free number is usually busy; the Mac division's 
toll-free number usually gets you a sales rep immediately. The 
IBM division offers fairly low prices (but not as low as other 
discount dealers); the Mac division offers rock-bottom prices, 
lower than almost any other Mac dealer.
  Big competitors The competitor that PC Connection fears the 
most is New Jersey's Micro Warehouse, which offers a greater 
variety of hardware and software, often at lower prices 
(especially for IBM-compatible goodies). Unfortunately, Micro 
Warehouse gives less technical help and sometimes has delays in 
shipping.
  Like PC Connection, Micro Warehouse has two divisions. For the 
IBM division, phone 800-367-7080 or 908-905-5245. For the Mac 
division (which is called Mac Warehouse),
phone 800-255-6227 or 908-367-0440.
                                         Another competitor is 
Washington State's Multiple Zones. Like Micro Warehouse, it 
offers low prices on IBM and Mac goodies. Its IBM division, PC 
Zone, is at 800-258-2088. The Mac division, Mac Zone, is at 
800-248-0800. For international calls to either division, phone 
206-883-3088.
                                         Cheap giants The biggest 
discounters offering IBM-compatible hardware cheap are Insight 
and USA Flex. They usually charge less than PC Connection, Micro 
Warehouse, and PC Zone. Insight also advertises software; USA 
Flex does not. Insight offers the greatest variety of disk 
drives; USA Flex offers a greater variety of printers and 
monitors.
                                         They advertise in 
Computer Shopper. USA Flex is on the back cover and all the back 
pages; Insight is in the middle.
                                         Insight's ads often 
contain wrong prices, and Insight's order-takers often make 
mistakes, but Insight is willing to handle any complaints.
                                         USA Flex is in Illinois 
at 800-944-5599. Insight is in Arizona at 800-488-0004 or 
602-902-1176.
                                         Midwest Micro is the 
biggest source of printers. Computer Shopper's biggest 
advertiser, it runs 60 full-page ads in each issue! Selling even 
more printers than USA Flex, it also sells modems and computers. 
Its notebook computers include more features at lower prices than 
any competitors. Phone Midwest Micro in Ohio: 800-572-8844 for 
computers, 800-972-8822 for printers & modems & parts.
                                         Discounts from retail 
stores If you need hardware or software fast and can't wait for 
mail-order dealers to ship, go to the local computer stores that 
advertise in the business section of your local newspaper.
                                         To encourage a store to 
give you a discount, mention low prices from competitors and 
agree to buy many items at once. Say that if you don't get a 
discount, you'll shop elsewhere. Many stores do price-matching: 
they'll match the price of any other local store, though not the 
prices of mail-order dealers. Some stores let salespeople give 
10% discounts, which are subtracted from the salesperson's 
commission.
                                         IBM and Apple give 
educational discounts to schools, teachers, and some college 
students. To find out whether you can get educational discounts, 
ask your school's administrators and your town's computer stores.
                                         Superstores For low 
prices, visit a chain of gigantic superstores called Comp USA, 
which was formerly called Soft Warehouse. It's based in Dallas 
but has spread to 75 other cities in 26 states. (For example, its 
New York City store is at 420 5th Ave., 212-764-6224.) To find 
the Comp USA store nearest you, phone 800-COMP-USA. You can phone 
day or night, 24 hours, and use that number to order computer 
goodies or a free catalog.
                                         For software and 
Hewlett-Packard printers, Comp USA charges less than most other 
stores and mail-order dealers. For other printers and 
accessories, Comp USA's prices aren't as aggressive: you'll pay 
less at a competing superstore chain called Staples (which sells 
computers and also general office supplies). But Comp USA offers 
a greater variety of computer products than Staples, and Comp 
USA's salespeople are more knowledgeable and helpful.
                                         Unfortunately, Comp USA 
handles repairs slowly (you must wait about a week), and Comp 
USA's prices for most hardware are slightly above other 
discounters. To get an IBM clone cheaply, buy elsewhere. To buy a 
Mac, try Staples, which has a very limited selection of Macs but 
great prices!
                                         The other big chain of 
computer superstores is Computer City, secretly owned by Tandy. 
Like Comp USA, Computer
City sells IBM clones and Macs, at prices far below Tandy's Radio 
Shack stores.
  Another computer-superstore chain is Micro Center, with just 8 
superstores so far (in Ohio, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Georgia, and 
Southern California).
  Salespeople at Computer City and Micro Center are usually more 
knowledgeable than at Comp USA and make customers happier. But in 
cities where those chains compete against each other, Comp USA 
lowers its prices to undercut those competitors. Comp USA puts up 
signs comparing prices and showing how much you save by shopping 
at Comp USA instead of Computer City or Micro Center.
  In California's Silicon Valley, visit a chain of superstores 
called Fry's Electronics, which has been a local favorite for 
many years. In New York City, visit a superstore called J&R 
Computer World, which is near Wall Street (15 Park Row, New York 
City NY 10038, 800-221-8180 or 212-238-9000).
  Bagel boys Four discount dealers in New York City are called 
the bagel boys, because most of their employees are Jewish men 
who like to eat bagels. Many of those men are Hassidic Jews, an 
ultra-traditional sect who wear black suits, black coats, black 
hats, and beards. For the Jewish Sabbath, they close on Friday 
afternoon, stay shut on Saturday, and reopen on Sunday.
  Those dealers sold cameras and other photography equipment, 
then started selling computer hardware also, plus a little 
software. They offer especially low prices on printers, monitors, 
modems, and famous notebook computers.
  Here's how to reach them:
S&W Computers & Electronics, 31 W. 21st St.800-874-1235 212-463-8330
47th Street Photo, 115 W. 45th St.800-235-5016 718-722-4750
Tri State Computer, 650 6th Ave. (at 20th St.)800-433-5199 212-633-2530
Harmony Computers, 1801 Flatbush Ave. B'klyn800-441-1144 718-692-3232
  If you phone Tri State computer, ask for David Rohinsky at 
extension 223. He'll treat you extra-nice.
  Those four stores accept both walk-ins and mail-order. Except 
for Harmony, they all advertise in the Science section of the The 
New York Times each Tuesday. Except for 47th St. Photo, they all 
advertise in Computer Shopper. 
  Since they offer rock-bottom prices and deliver fast, I often 
buy there. But they have these drawbacks. . . .
Their tech-support staffs are too small. You'll get faster 
repairs elsewhere.

They often buy overstocked items from other dealers and resell 
them; but since those items have changed hands, the 
manufacturer's ``limited warranty'' on those items is no longer 
valid.

Though reputable now, their past has been murky. In 1994, the 
biggest software company (Microsoft) sued Harmony for 
distributing software improperly. During the 1980's, Tri State 
advertised printers at low prices but honored those prices just 
if you overpaid for the printer's cable. Most of those companies 
removed supplies & programs from the boxes of printers & 
computers they sold and charged extra to put the goodies back in.
  Egghead Discount Software is a chain of stores giving discounts 
on software for the IBM PC and Mac. Egghead's prices are nearly 
as low as Comp USA's, and Egghead often runs special sales that 
drive prices even lower. To find the Egghead store nearest you, 
dial Egghead's headquarters in Washington State at 800-EGGHEAD.
  Egghead is nutty, funny, and friendly. The chain's mascot is 
Professor Egghead, who's a cross between a balding Albert 
Einstein and a hairy egg. He brags the software is eggciting, 
eggzotic, eggstraordinary, and intelleggtual with many 
eggcoutrements and eggcessories, sold by eggsperts who eggsplain 
it all and give eggzibitions that are eggstravaganzas.
  Egghead sells business, educational, artistic, and fun software 
for the IBM PC and Mac. Egghead's customers like
the low prices, wide selection, humorous friendliness, and 
permission to try software in the store before buying it. If you 
find a local competing store offering a lower price, Egghead will 
match that price and even charge you $1 less.
                                         Surplus Software A 
discount dealer called Surplus Software sells old versions of 
excellent IBM-compatible software at very low prices: often 
$19.95! It also sells new versions cheaper than most other 
mail-order dealers. Phone Surplus Software in Oregon at 
800-753-7877 or 503-386-1375.
                                         Even if you want the 
newest software, your best bet's often to buy an old version from 
Surplus Software and then use that purchase as an excuse to get 
the special ``upgrade price'' on the new version. The old 
version's price plus the upgrade price is usually less than the 
price of buying the new version directly.
                                         Computer shows Another 
way to find low prices is at a computer show. The lowest prices 
are at small shows called flea markets or swap meets. Many 
vendors at shows offer discounts, especially during the show's 
last three hours. When you buy at a show, jot down the vendor's 
name, address, and phone number, in case the goods don't work.
                                         Beware: many vendors at 
those shows are like gypsies, traveling from show to show and 
hard to reach if you have a complaint. Many sell computers 
containing illegal copies of software that was never paid for and 
whose instruction manuals are missing. Make sure any software you 
buy comes with an official instruction manual (published by the 
company that invented the software), not just a book from a 
bookstore.
                                         Used computers Instead 
of buying a new computer, you can sometimes save money by getting 
a used one.
                                         The oldest source of 
used microcomputers is The Boston Computer Exchange (phone 
800-262-6399 or 617-542-4414). It gives free info, by phone, 
about 1000 used computers you can buy. For more thorough info, 
get a copy of the complete 1000-computer Master List by sending 
the exchange $10.
                                         The Exchange has no 
computers in stock. It's just a broker that passes info between 
buyers and sellers. The Exchange charges a seller $25 to be 
listed and get advice about what to charge. If a sale occurs, the 
seller must also pay the Exchange a 15% commission. The buyer 
pays the exchange nothing ___ unless the buyer wants a copy of 
the Master List.
                                         Problem: should the 
buyer begin by mailing a check to the seller and hope the seller 
ships the computer? Or should the seller ship the computer first 
and hope the buyer pays for it?
                                         Solution: to protect 
both the buyer and the seller against getting stiffed, the 
Exchange has the buyer first mail a check to the Exchange. When 
the Exchange receives the check, it tells the seller to mail the 
computer to the buyer. When the buyer receives the computer, the 
Exchange mails a check (minus the 15% fee) to the seller.
                                         If the seller neglects 
to mail the computer, the Exchange refunds the check to the 
buyer. If the seller mails the computer but the buyer dislikes 
it, the Exchange talks with both parties to reach a compromise.
                                         For an even better deal, 
try the National Computer Exchange (NaComEx) in New York 
(800-NaComEx or 212-614-0700). It charges the seller a 15% 
commission but just a $15 listing fee (instead of $25). If the 
computer costs under $334, NaComEx charges the seller a $50 
commission (instead of 15%), whereas the Boston Computer Exchange 
refuses to handle cheap stuff at all.
                                         Another used-computer 
broker is Atlanta's American Computer Exchange (800-786-0717 or 
404-250-0050).
                                         New computers cheap On 
page 72, I'll explain the best way to buy a complete new IBM 
clone cheaply.