
             BACKGROUND
  This is the middle page of the book. The 319 pages before it 
cover what's new and hot about computers. The 319 pages after it 
cover the eternal truths.
  10 years from now, the stuff in the first half of the book will 
be considered ``obsolete''. The stuff in the second half of the 
book will be considered ``still true''.
  This page is your introduction to eternity.

            Why program?
  We begin our look at eternal truths by studying programming. Of 
the 8 sections that make up this book, the section on programming 
is the longest: 271 pages! It's this book's deepest and most 
thorough adventure. It's the adventure that does the most to 
expand your mind and turn you into a brilliant thinker. Here's 
where your career's long-term growth gets its biggest boost.
  Here's where you learn the secret of computer life! You learn 
how to take a computer ___ which is just a hunk of metal and 
plastic ___ and teach it new skills, by feeding it programs. Your 
teaching and programs turn the computer into a thinking organism. 
If you teach the computer well, you can make it become as smart 
as you and even imitate your personality. You become the 
computer's God, capable of making the computer do anything you 
wish. Ah, the power!
  Folks who read just the first half of this book are at the 
mercy of Microsoft and other money-grubbing companies: whenever 
those unfortunate folks want to make the computer do something, 
they must buy a program that teaches the computer how. If 
computer stores don't carry a program for that particular task 
___ or if the program's price is unaffordable ___ those folks are 
out of luck.
  But once you learn how to program, you're lucky! You can make 
the computer do anything you want! All you need is the patience 
and perseverence to finish writing your program. And if you ever 
get stuck, phone me anytime at 617-666-2666 for free help.
  When you finish writing your program, you can sell it to the 
idiots who've read just the first half of the book ___ and you're 
on your way to turning yourself into the next Microsoft.

              It's easy
  Programming the computer can be easy. You'll write your own 
programs just a few minutes from now, when you reach page 328! As 
you read farther, you'll learn how to write programs that are 
more sophisticated.
                                                Computer languages
                                         To program a computer, 
you put your fingers on the computer's keyboard and type 
commands. You type the commands in English.
                                         The computer understands 
just part of English; it understands just a few words and 
phrases. The words and phrases the computer understands are 
called the computer's language.
                                         Most computers 
understand a language called BASIC. It consists of words such as 
PRINT, GO, TO, INPUT, IF, and THEN.
                                         To begin, I'll explain 
how to program the computer by using those BASIC words. 
Afterwards, I'll explain how to use different computer languages 
instead.
                                         For example, I'll 
explain how to program the computer by using a language called C. 
In C, you must say ``printf'' instead of ``PRINT'', and you must 
say ``scanf'' instead of ``INPUT''.
                                         Notice that C appeals to 
dirty minds who like to say ``f'' words! Another reason why 
programmers use C is that programs written in C run faster and 
consume less RAM than if written in BASIC.
                                         But let's start with 
BASIC, which is pleasantly human, easy, and tasteful.
    Why learn so many languages?
  Programmers love to argue about which language is best. BASIC 
is easy to learn. C runs quickly and consumes less RAM. DBASE 
includes extra words that help manipulate databases. PASCAL lets 
you organize your thinking better. LOGO fascinates kids by 
showing turtles move across the computer's screen. FORTRAN 
handles complex numbers used by engineers. COBOL handles the 
giant accounting tasks faced by big banks, insurance companies, 
and the IRS. Thousands of other languages have been invented, 
too!
  Each language continually improves by stealing words from other 
languages ___ just as we English speakers stole the word 
``restaurant'' from the French, and the French stole the word 
``weekend'' from us.
  Because of the mutual stealing, computer languages are becoming 
more alike. But each language still retains its own ``inspired 
lunacy'', its own weird words that other languages haven't copied 
yet.
  This book turns you into a complete expert by teaching you how 
to program in many languages, so you become multilingual!
  Learning a new language affects your way of thinking. For 
example, most American think cockroaches are disgusting; but when 
a German housewife sees a cockroach, she just giggles, because 
she thinks of the German word for ``cockroach'', which is 
``kchenschabe'', which means ``kitchen scraper'', ``a cute 
little thing that sweeps the kitchen''. Yes, even the ugliest 
problems look cute when you know how to express your thoughts 
multilingually!
  Each language adds new words to your vocabulary so you gain new 
ways to express your problems, solutions, and thoughts about 
them. When you face a tough programming problem and try to reduce 
it to words the computer understands, you'll think more clearly 
if you're multilingual and mastered enough vocabulary to turn the 
vague problem into precise words quickly.
  An expert programmer can boil complex hassles down to a series 
of simple concepts. To do that, you need on the tip of your 
tongue the words defining those simple concepts. The more 
computer languages you study, the more words you'll learn, so you 
can quickly verbalize the crux of each computer problem and solve 
it.