
Childhood Misconceptions
by Dave Bealer

Young children don't see the world the same way as adults.  Not only
do they see everything from a lower angle, but they have difficulty
seeing things as a whole, and concentrate only on parts of things -
usually the part they're looking at the moment.  The fact that most
kids have the attention span of a gnat doesn't help matters.

Whatever the reason for it, children's fragmented understanding of
the world around them can lead to hilarious misconceptions.  A few of
the ones I've experienced and/or heard of are presented here.

 1) (from my own childhood)  My father was an accomplished handyman
    who could fix just about anything.  This meant regular trips to
    Sears to pick up new tools and equipment (Dad only used Craftsman
    tools).  One day, at a very young age, it occurred to me that no
    matter how unusual (at least to me) a tool or part Dad was
    looking for, Sears always had one.  I asked him, "how did Sears
    know you needed one of those?" 

 2) (from Greg Borek's childhood)  Greg, not quite grasping the
    concept of records and tapes (CDs had not been invented yet),
    thought that music coming over the radio was being played live by
    the bands at the radio studio. 

 3) A friend's son had an appendectomy a few years ago.  When in the
    hospital recovering, the boy (then eight years old) was informed
    by his mother that tests showed nothing had actually been wrong
    with his appendix.  The lad suddenly went pale and, on the verge
    of crying, asked, "Are they going to put it back?"

 4) (story related to me by someone)  A boy was teasing his seven
    year old brother with a child-proof bottle.  He opened it, closed
    it, then gave it to his brother to try.  The younger boy turned
    the top with no result, so the elder showed him again and gave it
    back to him.  After a while the seven year old stopped and said,
    "One thing I don't understand - how does it know I'm a child?"

There you have it, four examples of childhood misconceptions.  If you
have any good stories along these same lines, send them to RAH for
possible publication.  E-mail them to Dave Bealer at 1:261/1129
(FidoNet) or dave.bealer@rah.clark.net (Internet).              {RAH}

