
The Twit Filter: News Releasers
by Dave Bealer

The amount of information flowing through cyberspace is astounding.
Every day the volume increases, making it more difficult for users to
sift through the gobs of information looking for something useful, or
at least of interest.  Those who write messages increasingly find
their comments being lost in the shuffle.  The best solution is to
write interesting messages.  Of course this only works for people who
haven't already alienated so many folks that they're in *everyone's*
twit filter.

One tactic that has become popular recently is writing the message
in the form of a "news release."  This kind of message differs from
a standard message mostly in that the words "News Release" appear
at the top of the message.  The other difference is that the message
is worded to imply that this information was generated by more than
one person, usually at an "executive board meeting" or "celebrity
lawn dart tournament."  All this fluff is designed to hide the fact
that the message was conceived and written by one guy during a five
minute break from kicking his dog.  (Women don't kick dogs, they
simply lay a suicide-inducing guilt trip on them.)

On the rare occasions when a legitimate organization sends out an
online news release, the self-appointed "guardians of net tradition
and free information" that inhabit most networks jump all over the
sender.  This is especially true when that root of all evil, money,
is mentioned anywhere in the news release.  Most net guardians are
fundamentally incapable of making money (or doing anything useful)
themselves, so they're extremely jealous of anyone who can.

When detected, news releasers (and net guardians) should be placed in
your twit filter.  This treatment is particularly effective for these
two types of twits, since it opposes their stated intention of
reaching as many people as possible with their "message."       {RAH}

