
Vaporware Expands Entertainment Division
by Muffy Mandel

Vaporware Corporation continued to expand its presence in the 
entertainment industry with the recent acquisition of Wizzy Wig Films
VLtd. (Very Limited), the library of which contains such classics as:

"An Innocent Broad"    
  - Based on a previously unknown novel by Mark Twain  - his version
    of the Lizzie Borden saga.  Stars Tonya Harding.

"Star Trek XXIII: The Geezers Finally Retire"
  - Kirk chases the nurses at the Star Fleet Mature Legends' Home,
    while bragging how he got through 3 seasons and 22 movies without
    ever once saying "Engage" or "Make it so."  Spock finally gets in
    touch with his human emotions, only to find that they once
    belonged to 20th century human comedian Richard Lewis.  Bones is
    kept busy thwarting Spock's resultant suicide attempts.  Scotty
    develops a new starship fuel, a mixture of scotch and Preparation
    H, which allows his anti-grav dessert trolley to break the warp
    10 barrier.  George Takei (Sulu) discovers that he is distantly
    related to Bruce Lee, then dies mysteriously during filming. 

"Teenage Campers Being Sliced and Diced By Ninjas While Cars Crash 
                And Explode For No Apparent Reason"  
  - A thoroughly modern adventure yarn starring: Steven Seagal, Chuck
    Norris, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Jonathan Brandis, Edward Furlong,
    Christina Applegate, and Winona Ryder.  These stars are joined, 
    briefly, by hundreds of teenage extras who are given the Ginsu 
    treatment with expert precision.

"Lassie Come Home, We Need An Appetizer"
  - The canine hero's final adventure with her new Korean friend 
    Kimmy, whose parents operate a Chinese restaurant.  The menu 
    includes: Sweet & Sour Lassie, Benji Fried Rice, Rin Tin Wonton,
    Egg Foo Old Yeller, Beethoven's Fifth Rib, and Toto Lo Mein. 

With quality material like this, the Wizzy Wig Film library was a
real bargain.                                                   {RAH}

