# Public Journal; Practice Run

Category: Daily Living

## Post 1 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Saturday, 20-Jan-2018 18:57:32

So, I said I'd do this. I have no Disney shirts with pictures saying how I need this or that. This is Sarah E-H's story, of how it is living daily on SSI, in an apartment that takes most of my check.
I'll tell the truth here, as well as my emotional feelings. When I get a facebook account, I'll begin again. This is my trial run.
I want you to see my daily successes, as well as the tough times. It won't all be cherry muffins, and pretty princess pictures. Just as much of the truth that will give you an Idea.
Thanks for taking the time to read.
Sarah E-H.
Note: I don't give out my last name. Just initials. *Smiles*

## Post 2 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Saturday, 20-Jan-2018 19:09:04

So last night, and today, I was pretty scared. J, owner of my building, don't care if Uncle Sam shuts down. He wants his $570, on the first. I'm glad our checks will come.
I felt guilty, when I heard Military folks and that have to work, but won't get paid. How do they care for their families? But, there's help for folks in the Army, for which I'm glad. Just no help for people like me, who just want less rent cost, and to do simple things like go out with friends, and not have to hope and pray they offer to buy my lunch.
However, I have a place, and a check, I hope. I trust God. Not the government.
So, we had our council meeting today. A lot of things were important, but some really didn't matter. I wish I could be Secretary, but don't have a solid way to take notes. Ah well. Some day?
Oh I forgot. Yesterday, I found out the UDub lost my ICanConnect forms. I have to refill them out. I asked S. for his fax number. Not trusting that mail again.
So. If I think of anything else, I'll tell you. I won't have far to go. Since my place is hard to navigate, I have my living room and bedroom in the same room. The back is for storage, but needs to be cleaned out. Something to work on next week, while the government is shut down.
Oh yeah. Gonna make a separate post. Want to tell you how I got here.
Hugs to them that want them,
And Blessings for any who need and want them,
Sarah

## Post 3 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Saturday, 20-Jan-2018 19:37:13

How I Got Here:
I lived in a rough part of my hometown. There was some accessibility issues there.
I filed a complaint cause the manager said they "Can't afford," to Braille the elevators.
Yeah. I lived with a friend I thought I was gonna marry, but it didn't work out. Both of us agree we were both guilty on that one. He misunderstood me, and didn't ask. I failed to see how difficult it was for him. Well, anyway, the local agency that held the house didn't know the owner S., wasn't paying Mortgage on the spot. We got stuck.
My ex's ma said that I'd find housing right away. I spent 10 months with family, till it was too hard on my body and joints. You know... Arthur It is, Bursa It is...? LOL KK I like to crack jocks. But Fibro Mialgia, is a jerk, and needs to go away.
I'm so sensitive to meds and stuff, Lyrica is about as likely, as the government agreeing on a spending package. Well, the Government is more likely to pass a package. My doctor said she ain't giving me nothing like so bad for me as Lyrica. Heck. I heard that announcer list the effects you can get. Know what? I'd be as stupid as if I took Sulfa drugs. BTW, they kill me. Kind of not a good idea, I think.
So, my friend saw a need and got me in here. The rent was $525 at the time. Now, it's $45 more. And you all know, SSI sure didn't increase that much.
The manager's tried to do what he can. But they got this rule since I have no car, my caregivers don't get a space. Most of my neighbors, I should say, have spent time in jail or prison. Some haven't. Hey, it's all right. You do a crime, you do the time. I got some friends that spent time in the slammer, and that's cool, too. One of them has been working for over a year. The other is looking for a job. Lack of work experience and all that rot, kind of gets in the way.
So, I'm here, and sometimes it's safe, sometimes not.
This girl who was deaf left, cause she needed to. Another person had to leave because she scared most of us. The others, she'd curse at, and toss things like furnature at. Not cool.
My neighbor who moved in several months ago, is no longer with us, for reasons like famous folks like MJ and Prince.
Even I've been asked if I got pills to hand out. No way. I wouldn't give a pill to anyone. It's illegal.
And that manager where I used to live? Well, he said I burned my bridges. Hey! C said he was gonna "Runn her ass over," if he saw me lost. Kind of scary. Most of my travel in in my chair. If the chair doesn't fit, I have to hang on for dear life, and use my upper body strength. That's why most stuff is out here. No need in me falling too much. I refuse to lose my independence. I value it too much.
This place were the only ones to take me. I'm still peeved, cause it seems like everyone says I got no rights. Well, it was here, or living in some nursing "Facility," where they don't care. Why do I say that? Well, I am not rich. I can't afford things like decent food, meds on time, good care... Yeah. I had a young family member in one of them "Rehab Facilities." What a joke! They were so badly treated, I should've called the health department. I think that place is shut down, though. Can't find a trace of it. So, to me, that's like prison.
Back later with the dangers of living here. Not the neighbors. But the strangers.
TC, Blessings, and Peace to all,
Sarah

## Post 4 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Saturday, 20-Jan-2018 19:52:08

So, I get lots of weird people knocking on my door at midnight, or around there. One dude, I just call Midnight Man. He always comes at Midnight. The police always believe when they say they got the wrong apartment. Sometimes, I think some of us are smarter than some cops. Hey, I got nothing against police. I think they are a big help. They, however are the following: Underfunded, unaware of some things (I wouldn't believe a guy who comes to the same place twice, saying it's the wrong apartment. Dude, or MM, must've been high. Most folks here are.), don't understand safety anxiety around here, and some aren't aware of how vulnerable the disabled are. It's not just here. I know that shelters are having to deal with caring for some disabilities. Mine just don't qualify. Kind of good, but bad. Not all family members, can care for someone with disabilities. I should've stayed where I first lived, but when C. threatened me, I got scared. I like living.
I've been here almost 3 years. No joke, it will be 3 on the first day of April. No April Fools. That's when I signed the lease.
Said enough for today. I'll keep posting each day, to tell you how stuff is going.
Love, Hugs, Smiles, and Blessings to them that want them,
Sarah

## Post 5 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Sunday, 21-Jan-2018 21:36:38

Today was pretty normal, for me. I lost my keys, and almost missed church. Thank God! They were on my bed. I think I'll start keeping them in something that I don't have to wash. That's why I lose them.
Pastor preached on one of the Minor Prophets. Can't spell the name, but it starts with an M. I was surprised he got through it.
I saw a lot of friends, today. S., wasn't there, and I pray she's all right.
Oh. One of the songs had to do with storms, and the sound person had actually put sounds of thunder and rain with it. Way cool! The coolest thing I ever heard, for now. LOL
I read what Sandi said about Floppy, and I agree. Plus, that tech guy. Flop was really pushing me on the Icanconnect, because I need it. Hope and pray I can get it, with the government shut down. Kind of scary, in my opinion. I understand why they are pushing their own agendas. If I was in government, I'd have one too. *Smile*
But, they forget the poor folks, and the armed forces, and people who can't live without their jobs, and stuff. HELLO? Mr. President? Are you really that self-centered? Come on. Not everyone has billions, and we need them that have jobs.
Come on Senate and Congress. We need imagrants too. They lived harder than we ever will, and we need them, because, they help us Americans who need it. And, we help them. I mean, come on? Some of them even leave tough countries, where dictators rule with an iron fist. Just quit fighting, and work together. How good does it look for us as a nation, with the government shut down? Not good at all.
Yeah. That's how I I think my experiences as a kid make me compassionate toward a lot of people.
Here's to getting things up and running.
Blessings In Christ, hugs, and friendship all around,
Sarahfeel.

## Post 6 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Monday, 22-Jan-2018 13:46:45

So, problems today. No caregiver. I have loads, that's litteral, of laundry, and help isn't here. No, no. Not the shut down. Super forgot that my regular one was dealing with helping her daughter with some paperwork.
I got the food problem solved. I really need to go through my freezer, but guess not today. I will have to make my caregiver do a lot tomorrow. I have a doctor to see, and laundry. My sheets that fit best on my bed, are dirty. So, I'm really stuck. Plus, my laundry stinks to the sky. This should have been taken care of. What a nightmare!
I'll be back later today.
Peace, Blessings In Christ, and love for all,
Sarah

## Post 7 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Monday, 22-Jan-2018 13:51:05

Oh. I forgot. The laundry here, it sucks rotten eggs. You have to go to the laundry room. Wheelchers, btw, do not fit. The washers don't work well. Owner says won't replace till they're dead. Penny pinchers really get under my skin. But, according to my ACB affiliate, I have no rights, cause I signed the lease, over being stuck in a group home, or nursing home, where care sucks, and they keep you in diapers for hours. No thanks. I heard about that guy on KFone, and even the news tells crap, pun intended, like that.
Sarah

## Post 8 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Monday, 22-Jan-2018 14:07:43

So. I want to ponder this. I have no rights. I was born human, raised human, mostly... I live a humane existence, and have chosen to not live like an animal in nursing homes for the poor, where they decide when you get meds, get your briefs changed, and decide what you eat, even if you're allergic to it. I have allergies, and had some serious trials even in the hospital, because they don't carry name-brand Tegretol.
So, why because I choose to live independently, does our Advocacy committee say I have no rights? I volunteer! I help others! I'm not saying this to brag. I don't really care. I'm glad that others listen and take my advice. My friend Bri took it better than I hoped, and lived like being blind was the in thing, and she was totally cool with her blindness.
However, I Sarah, have no rights, because I signed a lease, instead of deciding to live in my own little hell. These folks are within their rights to discriminate, because this Advocacy committee says I signed my rights away.
To coin a phrase, IMO, it sounds really wrong.
Blessings,
Sarah

## Post 9 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Monday, 22-Jan-2018 14:53:14

So, I know I sound a bit emo, as they say. But, I've been holding back for 3 years, minus just over 2 months. As of 02-01-2018, it's 2 years, ten months, here. Mind you, this is the place where my only parking spot is the Loading Zone. Hey. Ain't that kind of, against the law? But, that's all Mr. M=manager gives me. I'm supposed to say "Thanks," shut up, and accept that I "Singed my rights away." Really? Does any human see something wrong with this? Cause, I must be totally screwed up. I do see a lot wrong with this.
W R O N G!
This is messed up. I refuse to live in a nursing home, where I can't even email anyone, or have a phone. And, I bet they bully you like foster parents did, when you "Rat them out." That's why all these people die neglected.
Sarah
I meant "Signed." But, " Singed," just about covers it.
What an ironic misspelling! *Chuckles with sarcasm*

## Post 10 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Monday, 22-Jan-2018 15:14:19

So, I just said this in QNS, but it needs saying here.
I had this cool friend, Bri. We all called her that, short for her real name. She waited seventeen years for low-income housing. After she moved in, she caught a flu, and died less than a week later.
I know she's in a better place. But, I also know the joys of a new place, moving in, and being sooooooooo, darned happy. She's gonna miss showing her friends her new stove, and cooking for them. Bri loved to cook. She was a Lakota Sioux. Hope I spelled that right. Any-who, she knew how to make fry-bread, and fun stuff like that. I'll naturally talk about her off and on. I really miss her.
This is partly for you, sister Bri.
R.I.P.
Love,
Sarah

## Post 11 by Remy (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 22-Jan-2018 19:33:54

Really all this is doing is vastly confirming my long-held believe that the SSI system is terrible and I'd never, ever want to live in the US as a disabled minority unless secure in the knowledge I could find employment. Even at its worst, PWD )my province's SSI) was never as bad as I keep hearing about in the US. And the unemployment rate seems to be nearly as bad as here in Canada. At least at this moment here you're allowed to have a significant amount of liquid savings without it impacting your benefits. You can also make 9K per year if you're single without it impacting them. Course everything in Canada is way more expensive, so there's that, but still.

## Post 12 by bea (I just keep on posting!) on Tuesday, 23-Jan-2018 11:00:39

Just a note about making a caregiver do this and that; push them around too much and they will quit. Nobody will put up with being bossed around, especially if they are only trying to help.

## Post 13 by forereel (Just posting.) on Tuesday, 23-Jan-2018 11:24:20

Another note. It isn't as bad as suggested here.
Smile.

## Post 14 by bea (I just keep on posting!) on Tuesday, 23-Jan-2018 12:22:37

It certainly isn't. I'm a senior citizen who doesn't get around good, and am receiving a caregiver once or twice a month, prescriptions at reasonable prices, and good paratransit or cab transportation. The journal is public, and so the public will comment.

## Post 15 by Remy (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 23-Jan-2018 12:25:48

I know this is an extreme situation Forereal.:) It's just one in a long list of stories. Even something as simple as only allowing one to have ... what is it, 2500 in the bank at a given time? That's a bit ridiculous. Even back in the bad old days of our disability benefits you could have at least 10K in the bank at once. Now it's 100K for the moment. I'm not condoning staying at home and living off the system all your life (and to those who have no choice that's obviously a different story), but what happens if say the benefits stop? You save up a little you have something to fall back on. Frankly your SSI is a poverty making joke. Unless I'm grossly misunderstanding how it works.

## Post 16 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Tuesday, 23-Jan-2018 22:06:16

You can have $2000 in your account. Wayne, my situation is that bad. I know you don't believe me, but it is.
I've been on housing waiting list for 5 years. I want to tell the truth. I want people to know this is pretty bad. I can't get into a shelter, cause of my disabilities. And the Advocacy person did say: "Well, you signed your rights away, when you signed that lease." I got nothing to lie about here.
Sarah

## Post 17 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Tuesday, 23-Jan-2018 22:13:21

Oh. Today I went to the doctor. My oxygen is not as good as it should be. Got 5 days of meds. Wish Flops was here. She knowed what I'm on. It makes me grumpy.
The Battle Of The Matress continues. I called, and they acted like they never got my prescription. I told my insurance advocate that doing business with them, is like talking to a wall, and pointless. I also told my doctor. They wanted to faxx something over again. I said: "No way! Tell me when it's ready, and I'll stick it where they can read it."
B, I treat my caregivers good. I know how spesh they are. And, I don't want to lose as I call them: "The 2 M's." They are awesome!
I figure when God gives you peeps that are spesh, you tell them how spesh they are, and make sure they know. Spesh? I learned that from one of the M's. Kind of a neat label. LOL
Blessings,
Sarah
P.S.:
Can't wait to get my lungs back to normal... Whatever Normal is. *Grins

## Post 18 by bea (I just keep on posting!) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2018 5:10:41

Why are you putting this stuff out here anyway? For pity?

## Post 19 by forereel (Just posting.) on Wednesday, 24-Jan-2018 6:09:11

Remy, it depends on how you set things up.
Now, on disability completely, it be really odd to have say 100K, but it happens right?
Maybe you inherit or something.
Maybe you lived in a house that was passed down, and property values went boom, so you sold it and got something for cash and had bank left over.
Maybe you worked all your life, got laid off, had to draw your disability.
I know personally of a situation were a person was technicly a multi millionaire. They do and did draw full benefits.
It just depends on the situation.

## Post 20 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Monday, 29-Jan-2018 21:42:24

No. I don't want your pity, B. And when you say pity, it's offensive. I want the world to know.
And, it's not that bad, Wayne? Come visit Western Washington. No plans to build low income housing, no plans to help the people that are homeless and mentally ill, deaf, in wheelchairs, and trying to use walkers.
I want the world to be aware that it's not as rosey as we think.
What's wrong, B? Does the thought of people suffering put your world in a bad light? This may be the Land of The Free, but if you have disabilities, your rights go out the window.
I tried taking it, and standing up for the rights of others in this situation. Either way, someone rains on your parade, so what's the point of keeping shut?
And, if it's not so bad Wayne, why do people say you pan-handle?
Sarah

## Post 21 by forereel (Just posting.) on Tuesday, 30-Jan-2018 1:58:02

Sarah. My coments are responses to Remy's post.
I am not debating your opinion.
This is your board. Say as you please.
Smile.

## Post 22 by catgirl (Generic Zoner) on Tuesday, 30-Jan-2018 16:01:52

Peeps, spesh, I'm sorry, but that makes me laugh and cringe at the same time.

## Post 23 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Tuesday, 30-Jan-2018 16:52:08

The facts about homelessness and people not in proper housing are facts. There's this thing called the internet... Oh wait? We're on the Internet. So obviously, you could use it to look up stats for Washington State, or even your home state, town, county, or country.
I, myself, think it's not to be shoved under the rug. If you feel that's the way to handle a crisis, go for it. I have my own morals I answer to.
Sarah

## Post 24 by catgirl (Generic Zoner) on Tuesday, 30-Jan-2018 18:04:31

Excuse me, but I was talking about grammar, peeps and spesh sound like something a lazy teenager would text to their friends.
I care a lot about the homeless, it is a horrible situation that needs to be ended.

## Post 25 by forereel (Just posting.) on Wednesday, 31-Jan-2018 8:02:35

In that case.
TS.
Laughing.

## Post 26 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Thursday, 01-Feb-2018 14:30:30

This is a practice run. And, I call all my friends and some not friends Peeps. I've been doing it since the eighties.
Sarah

## Post 27 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Thursday, 01-Feb-2018 14:36:44

Now, journal time. Pred is really screwing with my head. And so is our President.
Our economy's growing, but only for the rich. He doesn't care about homelessness.
It feels like to me, the only way to get things done, is being rich. Well, sorry I'm not. I wish I was, but wishes don't count for much.
It still bugs me, that manager hasn't put roach killer stuff down in a month. He's supposed to. Why isn't he? I guess I have nothing to bribe with. Kind of sucks. I will not go to a nursing home for the poor, where you get rotten food, and sit in your diapers for hours. Not me, no way!
I nearly lost it yesterday, cause trying to schedule my pre-op ride for the second time. Plus, Shuttle left me at the doctor for 2 hours and more. I'm fighting it. There's patience, and there's taking too much. That, was too much.
GTG.
Peace,
Sarah

## Post 28 by Imprecator (The Zone's Spelling Nazi) on Thursday, 01-Feb-2018 19:01:10

What exactly do you seek to gain from this? I mean it's on a site that's soon going to be history and it won't help your situation anyway.

## Post 29 by Remy (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Thursday, 01-Feb-2018 19:50:13

A public place to vent? Makes sense. After all there are lots of "I'm frustrated" topics. This one is only different in the form it has taken.

## Post 30 by forereel (Just posting.) on Thursday, 01-Feb-2018 20:58:13

And in that reguards, keep posting.
Smile.

## Post 31 by ADVOCATOR! (Finally getting on board!) on Friday, 02-Feb-2018 8:01:20

BTW, roach killer is now down. Thank God!
I have names for the different critters that bug me. Roaches are Bastards. Yellow-Jackets are "Sons of bitches." That started at age nine, when one stung my finger. I was mad, because it didn't die from the use of its stinger. Kind of lame, but oh well. The mind of a kid. I still dislike them.
Going for Pre-op, this morning. Surgery's not till the 22nd, but that's the way of things. Gotta "Get-er-dun!" Hahaha!
Peace,
Sarah

## Post 32 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Monday, 05-Feb-2018 21:11:42

Eep, surgery? ouch. Hugs.