# Equal positive integers

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by buk buk buk (move over school!) on Wednesday, 20-Sep-2006 17:38:08

Equal positive integers
Theorem: All positive integers are equal.
Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.
Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B (positive integers) satisfy (MAX(A, B) = N) then A = B.
Proceed by induction.
If N = 1, then A and B, being positive integers, must both be 1. So A = B.
Assume that the theorem is true for some value k. Take A and B with MAX(A, B) = k+1. Then MAX((A-1), (B-1)) = k. And hence (A-1) = (B-1). Consequently,
A = B.
f'f'f'f'f'f'f'fbuk buk buk!
Statistical one-liner
Old statisticians never die, they just undergo a transformation.
The results of statistics
1. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed
2. All polar bears are left-handed
3. If your car is stolen, there's a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear
1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles
2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles
3. Work stuffs up your eyesight
1. All dogs are animals
2. All cats are animals
3. Therefore, all dogs are cats
1. A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second
2. Ten babies are conceived around the world every second
3. Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of becoming pregnant
f'f'f'f'f'f'f'fbuk buk buk!
Dollars equal cents
Theorem: 1$ = 1c.
Proof:
And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.
1$ = 100c
= (10c)^2
= (0.1$)^2
= 0.01$
= 1c
Here $ means dollars and c means cents. This one is scary in that I have seen PhD's in math who were unable to see what was wrong with this one. Actually
I am crossposting this to sci.physics because I think that the latter makes a very nice introduction to the importance of keeping track of your dimensions.
f'f'f'f'f'f'f'fbuk buk buk!
Crocodile is longer
Prove that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.
Lemma 1. The crocodile is longer than it is green: Let's look at the crocodile. It is long on the top and on the bottom, but it is green only on the top.
Therefore, the crocodile is longer than it is green.
Lemma 2. The crocodile is greener than it is wide: Let's look at the crocodile. It is green along its length and width, but it is wide only along its width.
Therefore, the crocodile is greener than it is wide.
From Lemma 1 and Lemma 2 we conclude that the crocodile is longer than it is wide.

## Post 2 by Grace (I've now got the ggold prolific poster award! wahoo! well done to me!) on Wednesday, 20-Sep-2006 18:38:24

...THE Fantastic, Fabulous, Free-thinking, Funful, Faithful, Farraginous, Fervid, Fortuitousbuk buk buk!