# G C S E exams

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by nikos (English words from a Greek thinking brain) on Monday, 10-Jul-2006 20:44:21

Hi.
I got this email once with some answers that students gave to their exams about different subjects.
I don't understand all of them because some of the answers are like playing with the language but i hope you like them.
Geography
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutant like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Sociology
Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Biology
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow. [He got an A]
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains
the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels,
A, E, O, U, and I.
Q: What is the Fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
Q: What is a seizure?
A: A Roman emperor.
Q: What is a terminal illness?
A: When you are sick at the airport
Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like
umbrellas.
English
Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand
its
meaning.
A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Technology
Q: What is a turbine?
A: Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head

## Post 2 by tara (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Monday, 10-Jul-2006 21:06:56

Those are great! all I have to say.

## Post 3 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Tuesday, 11-Jul-2006 3:23:17

wow, I'm going to turn in an exam like that and see what the result is lol. nice one

## Post 4 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 11-Jul-2006 6:51:01

wow. students do come up with wierd things