# trouble achieving orgasms?

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by kithri (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Thursday, 19-Aug-2010 19:24:56

Hey, does anyone else have trouble getting to the orgasim stage either with a partner or by themselves?
I am a woman and would like some tips for reaching a good sex pleasure by myself for now, since I don't currently have a male partner.
Any tips, explicit or not, would be appreciated and if you don't want to post to this board cause you might feel embarrassed, please feel free to send me a private message.
I try stroking myself to get in the mood and the feeling is there, but I can't get very far and never to any type of satisfaction.

## Post 2 by DevilishAnthony (Just go on and agree with me. You know you want to.) on Friday, 20-Aug-2010 3:51:17

Have you thought about a vibrator? You could start out with something cheap and mild. walmart used to have an all purpose massager two speed vibrator with several attachments. There's a little ball attachment that works for a couple of ladies I know. Not sure if Walmart still has it or not though. The price was about 13 dollars. Hope this helps.

## Post 3 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 20-Aug-2010 7:24:43

Hmm, not sure what to say at the moment, except this. If you have not done so already, maybe try posting this to Sex Addicts Anonymous? People may be freer with their answers if the whole site doesn't know who they are.

## Post 4 by cattleya (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Friday, 20-Aug-2010 7:50:02

I would agree with trying a vibrator. And, trying different ways of stroking yourself. Sometimes if you are getting the feeling but it will not go all the way you may need different pressure or a little different placement/direction of the stroking.

## Post 5 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Friday, 20-Aug-2010 14:05:21

I'm really not ashamed to talk about this, since I know it's not my fault. I have no trouble getting there by myself, but I do with another partner. I'm not going to go into details, but I can assure you it isn't anything my partner is doing wrong. Sincerely, I'm glad you posted this topic. To all of you who are ashamed or embarrassed, it's okay, and I'm sure that in most cases, it isn't anything you or your partner is doing wrong. I know from experience.
Sister Dawn, I see what you mean about the enonimous factor, but I don't really think it's a sex addicts subject, if you will, unless you're addicted to orgasms in general, which I'm not saying anybody is.

## Post 6 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 20-Aug-2010 18:45:44

Well, the sex addicts board isn't just about being adicted to sex. LOL. I think that was more just a creative name given to it. I've seen serious sexual questions asked on there before. It was only a suggestion.

## Post 7 by kithri (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Friday, 20-Aug-2010 19:52:09

No, I'm not addicted to it, but I would like to have at least one real one, finally, and I'm having trouble getting there. I do take a lot of meds for a transplant and I was warned that they could inhibbit sexual drive somewhat, but I have the instinct/feelings and I just can't seem to achieve what I want. It might be better with a partner, but I currently don't have one.

## Post 8 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Friday, 20-Aug-2010 23:04:18

HI.
Depending on your age, and also the med combination, there in could lie your entire answer. I read somewhere that most women don't achieve orgasm until their early 20's for various reasons. Probably some of them having to do with the moe complex reproductive system involved. I'm not a woman, so can't say for sure, but I would suggest just rubbing and seeing where it feels best. Part of your issue may be that you are wanting it so bad that you are being distracted from allowing it to happen. Try relaxing, maybe take a bath or something, and just find out what feels the best. Try that without even the thought of achieving orgasm that one time. Once you know what you enjoy the most, you can start delving deeper in to things, no pun intended. HTH.

## Post 9 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Friday, 20-Aug-2010 23:06:12

Ok, toss out what I said about being younger. I just looked at your profile. Anyway, all the other suggestions still apply.

## Post 10 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Saturday, 21-Aug-2010 4:33:35

I think masturbation and reaching a good orgasm is as much about your thoughts as your actions, so explore your mind and your deepest fantasies. It could be as simpl as playing out in your mind what you want from a partner, thoughts of someone you find particularly attractive.
Climax for women at least can be about much more than genital stimulation, so if you feel that you need more, build the whole situation as you'd like it to be if you were working with a partner, try and think of your hands as their's. run them over your skin for example, be it your breasts stomach or your legs, build the anticipation of what is to come if that's what it takes for you.
I hope all the advice here is able to bring you some level of satisfaction.

## Post 11 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Saturday, 21-Aug-2010 11:12:00

I saw that taking a bath was mentioned earlier in the thread. The bath can actually be a really good place to experiment with this kind of thing. Warm water is generally relaxing, and being in the water also allows you to put your body into positions that might not be as easy otherwise. It makes a good place to explore yourself. and yes, the meds could have a lot to do with it. Meds can have a strong effect on the body where sex is concerned.

## Post 12 by Remy (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 22-Aug-2010 0:22:57

It's hard Chinchilac. Everyone here's already touched on a lot of important points. The problem is, every woman is going to be different. Each woman will find different pleasure sensors and positions that work. Some women, for instance have a difficult time achieving clitoral satisfaction, either because of over-sensativity or no sensativity. This is a silly question, but have you found your clitoris? I only ask because you'd be surprised how many women really don't know much abou tit. It's not the be-all and end-all of female pleasure - far Far from it, but often women can achieve orgasm via their clitoris where other forms are more difficult.
Sexual pleasure is, as was pointed out just as much a part of the mind as it is the body. Getting yourself really turned on, be it by external stimulus like erotic stories, or even that warm bath in candle light mmight help. You obviously don't have a problem with getting in the mood. You just have to find out what works for you. I find gently stroking parts of my partner's body (the hair, the breasts, the thighs, the stomach etc) really helps. Your hands are worth a try for sure. Just don't press yourself too hard. Frustration is never going to get you off.

## Post 13 by guitargod1 (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Thursday, 26-Aug-2010 0:08:35

I saw the sex addicts post before I saw this so if you haven't seen my answer to your question on there yet, go check it out. And, good luck.