# ramblings of a retired mind

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Friday, 16-Jun-2006 15:54:24

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that
everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one. So, I'm
wearing my garage door opener.
You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people
didn't like me anyway.
I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer
cans!
I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still
have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'
I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it
"Pumping Rust."
I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is
falling into your drawers!
I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you
got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"
Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of
an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we
supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
deliver the mail? Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their
pictures!
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

## Post 2 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Friday, 16-Jun-2006 17:04:00

I like these, thanks. Especially the last one: bless you Carla!
Bob

## Post 3 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Saturday, 17-Jun-2006 16:06:26

These are all great, but my favorite is the one about the litter box. I hope to use that one.