# a parent's night before Xmas

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Sunday, 17-Dec-2006 17:37:02

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."
The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!
We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat....
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!
When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.
More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."
And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
With "assembly required" till morning's first light.
We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
Before we attached the last rod and last pin.
Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.
Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not have to run to the store for a thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"
Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went,
Though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded...
I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!

## Post 2 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 17-Dec-2006 19:14:13

&LT;lol> those damned batteries.
This was good and quite creative.
Bob

## Post 3 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 17-Dec-2006 20:23:24

And then the next morning those arduously put together toys will all be broken within a few hours. LOL. At least that's how Christmas morning went at my house when I was a kid.

## Post 4 by sparkie (the hilljack) on Sunday, 17-Dec-2006 20:29:10

Yeah I noticed if we had something that had to be put together because I could hear my dad with his tools, lol.
Troy

## Post 5 by changedheart421 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Sunday, 17-Dec-2006 23:27:22

good.

## Post 6 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Monday, 18-Dec-2006 5:08:02

Lol glad yall liked it.

## Post 7 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Monday, 18-Dec-2006 12:45:53

uit was good, yes

## Post 8 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Friday, 22-Dec-2006 17:31:03

lol, cute!

## Post 9 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Saturday, 23-Dec-2006 8:55:14

Haha. Not bad.

## Post 10 by silly_singer (The girl who's always lost in a melody) on Sunday, 24-Dec-2006 1:28:32

LOL very cute!

## Post 11 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Tuesday, 03-Apr-2007 1:59:04

*smiles*