# if you were married,

Category: Let's talk

## Post 1 by chocolab (move over school!) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 7:27:34

I heard on the air this morning, about people who choose not to wear their rings, because of maybe a job, but even after they quit that job, they never wore it. So the wife, of one couple I hear about, she is fine with ehr husband not wearing anything. He said it doesn't make him any less faithful to her, and he will wear his band on anniversaries and things like that. Another person, said well if you don't wear it why buy it in the first place? Just an interesting topic so thought I'd stick it up here.

## Post 2 by Manwe (The Dark Lord) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 8:04:46

well it's a valid question. ok if you are something like an engineer and you have to stick your hands inside electrical appliances then that's 1 thing yes for certain i think that most people can go with that. but there's nothing to stop you from putting your ring on afterwards. although on the other hand you could argue that the ring is only a simbolic gesture of the bond between 2 people and that the ring shouldn't take anything away from the actual bond. i think i'd where mine for certain yes i think i would. am only just chucking different arguments out here.

## Post 3 by chocolab (move over school!) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 8:42:12

Right, that's basically what they were discussing I thought it was interesting.

## Post 4 by Manwe (The Dark Lord) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 8:45:45

yes, well being that metal conducts electricity that's why naturally. wouldn't be safe. but after work put it on certainly. or at least carry it on you. why not thread it through a chain or something i mean ok it's not on your finger but at least you have it

## Post 5 by maccafan (Opinionated Bastard) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 8:50:46

My opinon on this is short and sweet. The ring symbolizes the love you share with the person you dedicate your life to. If you don't wear it then you are saying that bond is not that important to you. I can see certain circumstances that would be viable reasons to take it off. i lost about 60 pounds and every ring melanie has bought me are to big for me so i can't wear any of them, but that doesn't lessen my love for her. but if the ring fits you should wear it.

## Post 6 by Manwe (The Dark Lord) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 8:52:49

yes and i would to for certain. but if it wasn't safe to as i outlined above during a work day then i'd have no choice but to take the ring off.

## Post 7 by Texas Shawn (The cute, cuddley, little furr ball) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 9:06:54

about the only time I take mine off is when cleaning or working with something nasty. grin! but then again boo boo works in a hospital and allways wears it. I think I've taken it off twice in the last month and a half and for maybe an hour at the most.

## Post 8 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 9:09:04

Maccafan I dont think its that clear cut, it is as you say just a symbol. I would put more emphasis on the love the couple share, after the honeymoon period and through the tough times.

## Post 9 by Resonant (Find me alive.) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 9:44:23

I suppose it can have any level of symbolism, depending on the people. I don't think it matters how much you value it, as long as both of the couple are on the same page. You don't want your spouse reading all sorts of things into a gesture if you only do it for practical reasons, and vice versa.

## Post 10 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 10:18:24

I think the ring is, as much as anyting, a sign to others that you are taken and not interested in the flirting game. I think I'd faind it very strange if I was married and my wife took the ring off before going out to a party e.g. or to some social gathering as if she did not want people to know of the bond we share. I'd only take my ring of if dictated by enecssity (jobs, swimming may be etc) and even if I needed to take it of my finger for a job I'd wear it around my neck. After all a public promise and the ring are really the only two things that seperate married couples from people who are dating and if they find that marriage is something they want to do I'd imagine wearing the rings as a symbol of that decission is a very important thing to them.
Wearing a ring is being reminded that you are loved, that someone pledged his/her love to you, promised you exclusivity and a lifetime of being there for you when you need it and helping you get through tough days and share the happy ones. To me that promise is something I want to be reminded of every hour of every day and so would feel odd removing that ring from my hand.

## Post 11 by nikos (English words from a Greek thinking brain) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 11:32:58

I agree with the last post. If i get maried one day i will always wear my ring and i would expect my wife to do the same. Only for some jobs described above it would be necesary to take it off.
Also i have got a question and i would appreshiate it if you ccould answer. I know in my country Cyprus men and women wear a ring but what about in countries like England or USA?
I am not sure because when i was speaking to one of my friends who got maried and he is English if i remember right he said that only girls wear rings but in this topic some men repplyed and said that they would wear a ring so i am confuced if men wear rings in other countries.
Also is the ring for the wedding different than the ring for engadgement?
Sorry if my questions sound stubit but this is something i was wondering.
Thanks
Nikos

## Post 12 by yellowcat (Zone BBS Addict) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 12:11:08

I don’t know why - but one of my mum’s friends wears her wedding ring although she has been separated / divorced for years… perhaps because she has children??

## Post 13 by Puggle (I love my life!) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 13:40:22

nick, in the UK USA and Australia, and several other countries, the man and the woman both ware wedding rings, I know a lot of men who chose not to ware their rings though. Personally I will always ware mine, and would expect that my husband do the same. As for the engagement, Here in australia, and I believe the UK and USA are the same again, only the girl wares an engagement ring. The engagement ring is usualy a more detailed ring, maybe with one big stone and little ones around it, or something like that, usualy a diamond, or ruby, some farely significant stone that makes an impression anyway. The guy gives this to her when he asks her to marry him. Although I have been told that in some other countries, Like Iceland for example, the guy also wares a ring when they get engaged.

## Post 14 by Puggle (I love my life!) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 13:45:25

oh yeah, and the wedding rings are usually a plane gold band, maybe with a little bit of detail, a few small stones inbedded in the band, or something.

## Post 15 by nikos (English words from a Greek thinking brain) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 13:56:11

Thanks a lot for the info.
In Cyprus men wear ring during engadgment.
The description of the rings was good as well.

## Post 16 by kyle1217 (Generic Zoner) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 16:01:00

I feel that the ring shouldnt be taken off unless it absolutely needed to be. Basicly I agree with wb and if its taken off there better be a good reason for it.

## Post 17 by Bryan (This site is so "educational") on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 16:30:39

i personally would not wear a ring but would get a tatoo

## Post 18 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 17:26:55

As puggle said, yes, in Iceland both women and men were an engagement ring. In Iceland, and I think in a few other European countries the engagement ring can also be made the wedding band, people still wear them but only get them engraved for the wedding. Tattoo is cool too but you better be sure you are not ever gong to get separated since you can't take a tattoo off, that would be the ultimate dedication and kind of cool I must say.
cheers
-B

## Post 19 by Ukulele<3 (Try me... You know you want to.) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 23:32:29

Aww what a sweet topic. I would deffinetly wear and expect my husband to wear our wedding ring all the time. However, there is one problem. I tend to lose every ring I have on my finger. I fiddle with it whenever I am nervous and sometimes take it off without noticing what I am doing. I am very absent-minded, I have learned that in the last few months, and am very afraid I will lose my ring. lol It's one of my biggest fears about getting married. I would feel terrible if it were to ever happen. I don't think I'd go for the whole tattoo thing as I don't believe in getting that done. lol not for any reason. But wearing a ring is cool as long as I don't lose it. lol I almost lost my engagement ring and that was horrible enough!
*sexy*

## Post 20 by Jess227 on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 23:49:12

My mom wore her ring faithfully until one day a stone went missing. It was the first time in years that she's ever lost a diamond on her ring. Costed her $200 to replace and so the jewler told her to buy a inexpensive anniversary band that she can wear all the time as she did alot of cleaning, work etc. The only time she wears her wedding band is on special occations as that and her engagement ring will be passed down to me and my sister.
I'd be ok with wearing just a anniversary band with no stones (maybe diamond cutting) instead of risk runing, damaging the ring even losing a stone. Especially if you live in high crime areas, I don't think I'd want to wear something that I want to pass down to my kids some day and it be stolen.

## Post 21 by chocolab (move over school!) on Saturday, 11-Feb-2006 12:20:55

Well my mom got her rings stolen, so I don't think she wears them anyway grin. Seriously I don't think she even has a band, she might just not sure. My take ont his is I'd wear the ring, and if my husband didn't want to, I think he'd better be an electrical engineer or something because I'm insecure enough thanks.

## Post 22 by julians mom (Veteran Zoner) on Saturday, 11-Feb-2006 19:51:02

i always where mine it's a promise during the ceremony to symbolize your love for each other

## Post 23 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Saturday, 11-Feb-2006 20:13:51

i'd always wear mine, and expect my wife to do the same.

## Post 24 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Sunday, 12-Feb-2006 0:15:35

I'm not sure i'd expect my husband to where a ring, i'm not even sure i'd where one. Too much emphasis these days is on the ring, it's only a material thing anyway. I prefer it if we didn't even have them, just spend the money on travel or something fun.

## Post 25 by Twinklestar09 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Sunday, 12-Feb-2006 6:22:00

I'd always wear mine, even though I'm not much into wearing jewlery at all. But in this case I would and would expect my husband to wear his also. People tend to notice that about another person, to know whether she or he is married or engaged, and that's why there's probably so much meaning put on the ring.

## Post 26 by firebolt (Veteran Zoner) on Sunday, 12-Feb-2006 8:39:53

I agree with Loui. During the first year of my marriage, I wore the ring faithfully, but being not so much a jewlery person in general, it doesn't seem that important anymore. The bond between me and my husband means much more to me than the ring itself, it's just a piece of jewlery to me. He doesn't wear his anymore, and it doesn't bother me at all. Like I said, we know the bond we share, no gold reminder is necesary.

## Post 27 by Manwe (The Dark Lord) on Sunday, 12-Feb-2006 9:32:46

yes deep down that's all that really counts. although i still would probably where mine.

## Post 28 by sugar (Entertain me. I dare you.) on Sunday, 12-Feb-2006 16:03:36

I think there is probably an overenphasis on the ring, what it looks like, how much it costs, bla bla bla.... I don't think it's about that. I think, as said previously by others, it is a symbol of your comittment to your husband/wife. Obviously, it is only that, but I know that, if I ever get married, I will feel proud to wear my ring. I will see it as a public statement that this is the person I have pledged my life too.

## Post 29 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Wednesday, 15-Feb-2006 9:20:11

Resonant I 'd be concerned if my spouse began to suspect my motives for removing my ring, after all what would be next.

## Post 30 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Wednesday, 15-Feb-2006 9:31:57

wouldn't it be fantastic if you were both to spend the cash on doing something together for your honey moon rather than on something material?

## Post 31 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Wednesday, 15-Feb-2006 23:56:32

I agree with Loui. Since feelings aren't material, it's imposible to try to turn them into something that is. So, if I ever get married, it would have to be swith someone who thinks along those same lines. But this comment about spending money on materialistic stuff brings up something else I think worth mentioning. While I think it's cool to have a celibration to honor your commitment to the other person, is it really necissary to spend 15000 dollars or more to do this? That 12 of that 15 grand could be much more usefully spent, as Loui suggested, on a honeymoon, or how about putting some of that money into a down payment on a house? I'm not a big believer in marriage anyway, but since this would take things way off topic, I'll refrain from delving into my reasons for this. Let's just say it goes along with this idea of attempting to convert something which u feel that is nonmaterialistic, into something which has material value.

## Post 32 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Thursday, 16-Feb-2006 10:36:42

For me, personally, I think rings are important, you can travel and have fun and make memories with anyone but a ring is your proud symbol of belonging to someone else, that you have pledged our life and made a life long promise to honor and love someone for the rest of your life, for the two of you it's clear of course but I think one should wear a universally recognized symbol of this and be proud of it. It doesn't have to be super expensive and the idea of having cheaper/planer replacement wedding bands is actually pretty cool, I don't see the point of big dimonds or expensive stones especially since that is simply inviting criminals a quick way to get cash and get something precious from you. But I do think that investing in fairly nice rings is a lifelong thing whereas a trip only lasts for a week or two and may or may not be memorable (one would hope it'd be) + it's not all that much money, a couple of hundred to a couple of thousand dollars can get you pretty much any type of ring you want (excluding the super expensive dimond ones of course).
As for the wedding itself. I'd want it to be memorable and I'd want to share it with my friends and family but I do not see why providing a 3 course dinner and paying $200 for selected chair covers will make the celebration any more meaningful. I think a small private ceremony followed by a fun, silly and casual party with your family and your best friends is the ideal way to celebrate those vows. I think almost picnic like (fancy version of course) party, relaxed atmosphere and a degree of sillyness and something to make it memorable to all would be the ideal wqay to celebrate and the rest of the money set aside for the wedding (eehm if any) can go on honey moons. :)
of course that's only my personal take on this.
cheers
-B

## Post 33 by Damia (I'm oppinionated deal with it.) on Friday, 17-Feb-2006 12:06:17

I would rather a very insagnifagant ring I don't want anything flashy or expensive, but the ring says this person is taken, and I see it as a simbol of that and think that in public it's only right to keep it on at all times, i hope my husband would keep his on too. People make mistakes and hit on people if they don't know and becarefull of who's around many other reasons but i won't take it off

## Post 34 by Daenerys Targaryen (Enjoying Life) on Saturday, 30-May-2009 10:30:49

If I was married, I would wear my ring all the time.