# Absence Excuses

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Matador (Veteran Zoner) on Tuesday, 20-Apr-2010 17:40:28

These are supposedly actual excuse notes from parents (including original spellings) collected by Nisheeth Parekh, University of Texas Medical Branch (Galveston)
during a study of parental psychology.
---
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan.28,29,30,31,32, and also 33.
4. Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced
his hip.
5. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
6. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
8. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
10. Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.
11. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
12. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
13. I kept Billie home to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear.
14. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was
Sunday.
15. Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
16. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
17. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
18. Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
19. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover. Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
20. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat,
her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father
even got hot last night.

## Post 2 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 20-Apr-2010 18:14:22

lol i love them!. thanks

## Post 3 by Eleni21 (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Tuesday, 20-Apr-2010 18:31:35

I've never laughed so hard at any joke posted here. I couldn't stop! Passing this one on for sure. Thanks.

## Post 4 by Kathy Fraggle (Zone BBS is my Life) on Tuesday, 20-Apr-2010 22:02:37

Yeah, I also could hardly breathe for laughing! Even the few that weren't funny in themselves had funny implications!

## Post 5 by SingerOfSongs (Heresy and apostasy is how progress is made.) on Wednesday, 21-Apr-2010 10:59:54

Wow. I'm amused, though my faith in humanity just slipped a little lower.

## Post 6 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Wednesday, 21-Apr-2010 16:33:13

wow; amusing indeed.

## Post 7 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Monday, 26-Apr-2010 16:29:38

Lmaooooo! 1, 2, 15, 18 and 19 were the scariest. Lol!