# out of office autoresponses

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by mr. google (Veteran Zoner) on Thursday, 11-Oct-2007 22:44:18

These are some out of office autoreplies you can use when you're not at the desk at work. Lou I hope you don't mind me passing this on. You sent me this actually so you can take the credit.
OUT OF OFFICE MESSAGES
1. I am currently away from my desk, beating my head against the wall. Your message will be replied to once I have reached a level of numbness sufficient
to cloud my vision to the point I am able to formulate an appropriate response to your request.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I were in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return on April 1st. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted
in the order it was received.
4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try > sending again.
(The beauty of this one is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately
19 weeks.
7. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
8. I've run away to join a different circus.
9. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as Marvin' instead of Martha.

## Post 2 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Friday, 12-Oct-2007 5:54:27

Lol some of those are quite clever! may try using some meself! :) Lol

## Post 3 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Friday, 12-Oct-2007 5:58:25

hahaha!
Even though it's a list it's funny because Becky didn't post it. &LT;lol>
I especially like the last one.
Bob

## Post 4 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Friday, 12-Oct-2007 6:31:39

I also liked the last one. *smile*

## Post 5 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Friday, 12-Oct-2007 13:43:50

Bob, just for your information, I posted this list a very long time ago. So there!

## Post 6 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 12-Oct-2007 14:47:51

Kerby and Bob, I hate to admit it, but Becky is right. Kerby I got that list from an earlier post by Becky, who is a great source of huumor.

## Post 7 by soaring eagle (flying high again!) on Friday, 12-Oct-2007 15:16:04

oh that's really good. LOL

## Post 8 by The Elemental Dragon (queen of dragons) on Saturday, 13-Oct-2007 22:11:00

I might just use the first one as my new away message!!

## Post 9 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 14-Oct-2007 0:03:27

Wrong again lou.
Becky is not a great source of humor.
Becky is a great source of top-ten-lists. There is a difference.
Btw, this is my new out of office autoresponse.
Bob

## Post 10 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 14-Oct-2007 10:27:39

You might not like them, but you keep on reading them, don't you?

## Post 11 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 14-Oct-2007 19:47:02

A cat person naturally has a good sense of humor in my totally non-biassed totally objective feline-owning mind's opinion.
Lou

## Post 12 by mr. google (Veteran Zoner) on Sunday, 14-Oct-2007 20:59:43

sorry I should've known the source of that stuff oh well.
Kerby

## Post 13 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 14-Oct-2007 21:29:20

There is nothing funny about a cat except the way he twitches after sticking his paw in an electrical outlet.
Don't you love the way his fur stands up too? Now that's funny.
Bob

## Post 14 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 15-Oct-2007 3:48:25

If you want to see something funny, you should see my cat when I keep him out of a particular area. He uses his head as a battering ram. From behind the closed door I hear "bump, bump, bump, Meow. Bump Bump Bump meow."
Lou

## Post 15 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Monday, 15-Oct-2007 4:35:04

&LT;lol> that's funny.
I particularly like the gagging noise they make when you hang them from the vinitian blind chord.
There's also the yowling noise they make when the clothes pin closes on their tail. Ahhh, cats are so entertaining.
Bob

## Post 16 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 15-Oct-2007 4:45:08

You may not know the legend of the Manx Cat. This breed has no tail. The story goes that the Manx was the last animal on the arc, and Noah slammed the door on his tail.
Lou

## Post 17 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Monday, 15-Oct-2007 8:31:24

Kerby, no need to apologize for posting this joke. I didn't point out that I had already posted it to make you feel bad, I did it to get a point across to Bob, who, by the way, is going to come back as a cat in his next life and have all sorts of horrible things done to him by cat haters like himself.
Meow!