# in honor of stupid people

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Monday, 05-Sep-2005 18:28:21

&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;in Honour of Stupid People
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
&GT; &GT; &GT;Details
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;inside.
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(the shoplifter special)?
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(and that would be how???.....)
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn
upside
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;down."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after
&GT; heating."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(...and you thought????....)
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;machinery after taking this medication."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
&GT; &GT; &GT;could
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness.."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(and...I'm taking this because???....)
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(as opposed to...what)?
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(talk about a news flash)
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet,
&GT; &GT; &GT;eat
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;nuts."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not
&GT; &GT; &GT;enable
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;you to fly."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands
&GT; &GT; &GT;or
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;genitals."
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT; &GT; &GT; &GT;
&GT;

## Post 2 by Witchcraft (Account disabled) on Monday, 05-Sep-2005 23:29:55

Oh God, thanks for that one. I needed a good laugh. *grin*

## Post 3 by Star (Honorary Bitch of the Zone) on Tuesday, 06-Sep-2005 1:12:38

You know what they say about the sex drive of handless Sweeds... it can get so hard it feels like iron! That's why they try and stop a chaisaw chain with it. They first tried with their hands and failed so now they put the best TOOL they have in to it! ROFL Star

## Post 4 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Saturday, 08-Oct-2005 0:21:49

oh that was good, thanks hahahaha