# Things all Texans know

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Thursday, 17-Mar-2005 15:14:03

THINGS ALL TEXANS KNOW
> Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.
> Roadrunners don't say "Beep Beep."
> There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.
> There are 10,000 types of spiders and all 10,000 live in Texas, plus a couple no one's seen before.
Possums will eat anything.
Armadillos love to dig holes under tomato plants.
> If it grows... it sticks.
> If it crawls... it bites.
> Nothing will kill a mesquite tree!
> Texas has 6 seasons:
~Spring, Feb 16 to April 15
> ~Summer, April 16 to July 15 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
> ~Super Summer, July 16 to Sept 10 (temp 100 to 115 degrees)
> ~Summer, Sept. 11 to Oct 1 (temp 90 to 98 degrees)
~Fall, Oct 2 to Dec. 1
> ~Winter Dec 2 to Feb 15
>
> "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.
>
> Fireants consider your flesh as a picnic.
>
> People actually grow and eat okra...
>
> When the world ends, only cockroaches and mesquite trees will survive.
>
> When you live in the country, you don't have to buy a dog. People drop them off at your gate in the middle of the night!
>
> The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first couple of weeks.
>
> When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to go to the doctor.
>
> "Fixinto" is one word, as is "goan" - go on, or "comon" - come on.
> The word dinner is confusing. There's only lunch and then there's supper.
> "Backards and forards" means I know everything about you.
> "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
> You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.
> You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.
> You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
> Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
> All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain insect or animal.
>
> You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked!
>
> You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
> You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
> You know whether another Texan is from east, west, north, or south Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
>
> There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
> Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time.
> You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.
> A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop. It's a "Coke", regardless of brand or flavor.
> You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Texas...and other folks if you believe they might have visited Texas or
> just sorta' understand them, anyway!!!

## Post 2 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Friday, 18-Mar-2005 8:59:18

4,998 snakes! feck I'm glad I'm not a Texan

## Post 3 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Friday, 18-Mar-2005 9:01:18

4,998 snakes! feck I'm glad I'm not a Texan