# Have you ever...??

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by tnydancer (Generic Zoner) on Wednesday, 29-Nov-2006 19:54:31

This topic can go pretty much anywhere and I'm sure it will so here goes... Have you ever loved someone so much that when it ends you feel as though a piece of you died? Have you ever loved them so much that when you break up you still think of them constantly and hope that things will be like they were even though deep in your heart you know they never will be? Have you ever hated someone so much that you could actually see their death in your mind or even hearing their name makes you turn violent? Have you ever experience pain so deep that all you can long for is death?

## Post 2 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Wednesday, 29-Nov-2006 19:56:37

I think the only one I can't answer yes to, is hating someone so much I imagine them dead, or turn violent at the mention of their name, that's not me. The rest of course I have felt.

## Post 3 by SensuallyNaturallyLiving4Today (LivingLifeAndLovingItToo) on Wednesday, 29-Nov-2006 20:19:53

Feeling these things is what makes us human. Being able to express these things and to use them to better our selves and further our lives is what makes us artists.

## Post 4 by tnydancer (Generic Zoner) on Wednesday, 29-Nov-2006 21:09:47

I must be pretty damn artistic then. Can't stop expressing my feelings in different ways of creativity.. writing songs, designing web sites, designing a fatty tat to put on my back, designing the tats I want on my wrists, cutting my hair and highlighting it, the creativity is seeping out!!!!

## Post 5 by Raskolnikov (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Thursday, 30-Nov-2006 0:48:46

About dying a little after losing the love of someone I really cared for, no, I guess I can’t say that I’m familiar with that awful experience because I’ve never been in love. But I can imagine what it must feel like, the cold bitter aftermath, the sense of betrayal, emptiness and loneliness, shoot it even makes me plan on taking great pains to avoid falling in love! Lol But call me a fool if you want because, even though I see the destruction of failed relationships, I still think that love always fulfils a bigger purpose in our lives. For example, when I hear my friend who’s currently spending his natural life behind bars crying because of all the things he’s missing out on—his daughter, girlfriend, family, freedom, taking out the trash in the morning—something in my heart wants to believe that this guy will get a second chance. What a price to pay for stupid mistakes!
But even though I know this will never come true for him, I just encourage him to hang on. I don’t know if any of you guys have ever been forced to put on a mask, I don’t know to what lengths you guys have been driven to be there for a friend who’s in need, but let me tell you that I’ve had to pretend to be a damn Christian just to keep my friend from tying that noose around his own neck. I don’t know if the promises of the bible are true or faithful, but man I’ve read them and I know they can be encouraging especially in times of deep pain. I wrote this same friend a letter once telling him about the things I’d read in that book. I told him that Christians are promised better things to come, that even though life here on earth is full of distress, misery and disappointment after disappointment, Christians still believe that god will restore and recompence what they didn’t have in this life. I sometimes think that if there is a god, that if a divine being truly made this imperfect world, that then it must not have been his purpose or intention to stand by while all things decay and die. Just think of flowers, they’re beautiful, think of mountains, of the sky, of babies, of animals, damn just think of everything that has an element of beauty to it; do you think that if all these things were created by some sovereign being, that this being meant for it all to just die?
Something in my heart wants to believe the promises, something in my heart wants to either snuff out the hope or surrender to it, because how can it be that something so beautiful as is love is in reality just something to be lost? Was beauty made with the intention to die? Were the flowers made with the purpose that they decay and die? Who beneath the sun knows? Nobody! I think of my mom’s love for me, or of my pop’s love for me, damn it hurts because I know they wanted with all their hearts to love me with a perfect love. They never had it though, I’ve never known it either and I don’t think anybody else has.
But even if it seems insane for some to think that there’s hope, that there will come a time when all our failures/deficiencies/faults will miraculously be perfected by promise, even if it seems insane to think this way, I think it’s better to hope in such a promise than to just break down and give up. So what if there isn’t gonna be a time when a god restores the original perfect ability of human beings to love? So what if all the people who ever longed to be loved and to love with perfection will never know what it’s like? So what if my friend who’s in prison will never really get a chance either in this life or in the next (if there is something after death) to love his loved ones with a perfect love? So what if the flowers once dead will never be beautiful again? So what? I mean, if a person would be called crazy just for hoping that something worth so much as is beauty has a chance of being restored, then why the hell should I judge him/her for doing so? Let the bastard dream, let the bastard cling to the promises of the bible, what the hell do I care? If it keeps him from ending his own life, then isn’t it better to give him something to believe in? Who knows, I’m probably wrong.
And about hating someone with a consuming passion, with a driving madness, no, I’ve never experienced that either but I know that we all have it in us to commit murder, to do such evil things that would make even hardened and experienced detectives vomit. It’s so much easier to forgive; harboring hatred is unhealthy, destructive, but there’s also been cases where the emotion of hatred has been channeled in positive ways. I can think of john walsh for example I think that’s what his name is, whose boy was murdered. He used his anger to put many predators in jail by starting America’s Most Wanted. But yeah, I just think forgiving is much easier on the soul, and it’s also something that only a truly strong person can do. I’d never allow another human being to have that much control over my life, I mean, to make me hate him/her so much to the point of poisoning my mind with murderous thoughts and fantasies? No way, I’d rather just forgive him/her and be completely free from hatred’s poison. it's a fallacy to think that time heals wounds, that saying is such a lie! Time doesn't heal wounds; be honest with yourself: if the person who hurt you was before you right now, would you just respond with a pacifist's smile? Yeah freaking right!
I can say a lot about pain but I’d rather not. All I’ll say is that I died once and that the phantoms responsible for it nearly crushed my soul, spirit, and whatever else is in a human being that makes him/her aware of being alive. I wish I had had the chance to confront them, to straighten things out with them but that never happened. I would have loved to forgive them to their face. But now I guess I'll never know how I'd react if they were in front of me. Time doesn't heal wounds. It made me look at life differently though and maybe I’m thankful for that because, just think about it, wouldn’t you appreciate the things of life, even the most mundane things, after having almost lost them forever? Every damn day, every new experience, everything that’s coming my way will always be something that I might not have seen. Hearing the birds sing, listening to the wind blow at night, feeling the sun on my skin, listening to a woman’s voice, all of these things are something that I almost might not have seen again. If I had died, damn if I had died…I wouldn’t be writing this. I wouldn’t have the hope that is in me. If I had died, I wouldn’t have known, felt, seen, heard, smelled, touched the things I’ve known, felt, seen, heard, smelled, touched. I have dreams, I have hope, fantasies, desires that are still supposed to be fulfilled. To top it all off, I have memories of childhood, of my mom and dad alive, of witnessing a drive by shooting, seeing prostitutes handle their business, gangsers tagging on walls, drugged up youngsters hiding out in school bathrooms. I don’t need to dwell on my pain, there’s enough of it being suffered by innocent people all around the world. Alright, I guess that’s enough for me. I’m gonna go to sleep now. And so what if i get laughed at for writing this? so what if I get ridiculed for being honest? The topic was posted and I responded. What has it been, about an hour now? Ah, who cares!

## Post 6 by Ukulele<3 (Try me... You know you want to.) on Friday, 01-Dec-2006 7:07:46

aww I must not be human because I can't say I have ever felt any of the things you listed. lol It just seems a bit extreme to me. I've loved but not to the point of obsession. I've felt depressed but things always got better for me somehow. I've hated but never to that extent. Am I missing much?

## Post 7 by SensuallyNaturallyLiving4Today (LivingLifeAndLovingItToo) on Monday, 04-Dec-2006 16:29:43

I will personally kick the ass of anyone who laughs at you for posting that. You are so right and I applaud you for your expressiveness and honesty. Time doesn't heal all wounds. It only dulls the pain, but love can heal all wounds.

## Post 8 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Tuesday, 03-Apr-2007 4:32:41

That it can. I can't say I've been through a breakup before because I'm still dating my first boyfriend. It's normal to dislike people, but for me, I'll never hate them to the point where just thinking about them will cause me to become extremely violent. never

## Post 9 by SensuallyNaturallyLiving4Today (LivingLifeAndLovingItToo) on Sunday, 08-Apr-2007 19:36:55

Never underestamate your ability to love, or by that token your ability to hate. The human spirit is capable of encredible kindness and encredible cruelty. Always be aware that under terrible circomstances we can be driven low or somehow rise above and be raised up, but that adversity causes extreme reactions, both terrible and wonderful. If you ever forget this you are setting your self up to live a life blinded to and ignorant of the power of the human mind and spirit and the power of raw human emotion.

## Post 10 by changedheart421 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Sunday, 22-Apr-2007 13:08:08

I have loved and lost. so therefore since I feel that I can not get over them ever, I will not do it again. it is a cruel thing and it kills you every
time.

## Post 11 by TheAsianInvasion (The Zone's invader) on Saturday, 03-Jan-2009 19:42:00

agreed with kev's post. that isn't me. all the others, I've felt, and it hurts like hell.
and longing for death? no.

## Post 12 by cumbiambera2005 (i just keep on posting!) on Saturday, 03-Jan-2009 20:04:13

i dont think i could ever hate someone that much! But as for loving to the point where a part of me died, yes, some part of me is gone. I'm still living, but my soul wont be whole again, but there's nothing I can do but move on with my life. I'll eventually die, and things may or may not be different then, but I would need to try and make the best of it. True that time does not heel all wounds, not completely anyway, it only covers them like scars. Skin never turns out the same if you've been severely cut; it only heels to a certain extent, but is no longer the "perfect" way it was once before. And all you can do is try to live and make the best of it, in the hopes that when the next life comes, (if there is a such thing), it may bring something better than the first.

## Post 13 by metal angel (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Saturday, 03-Jan-2009 20:32:28

I can say that I've felt all those feelings and will probably feel them still.

## Post 14 by TheAsianInvasion (The Zone's invader) on Saturday, 03-Jan-2009 20:57:09

agreed 100percent ashley

## Post 15 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 04-Jan-2009 3:11:28

I can honestly answer yes to all of those questions, including the death and vilence one. I'd never act on it, but I've certainly thought and felt hatred that deep before. And love and pain as deep as those other questions are describing, too.

## Post 16 by lilo (Generic Zoner) on Saturday, 07-Mar-2009 14:49:45

Loving is cruel. Why if you've loved and lost would you make yourself go through that again. I did. More than once, but never again. I just don't believe in love.

## Post 17 by jawsgirl87 (Account disabled) on Saturday, 21-Mar-2009 21:08:42

I have also loved and loat. I have been hurt in my past b guys, but since I have met Brandon Misch, things are beter for me. If it wasn't for him, I don't think I would've loved again.