# Something from my past

Category: Getting to Know You

## Post 1 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Monday, 09-May-2005 3:45:20

HI guys. I hope I won't make myself unpopular now when I tell you how stupid I was earlier and how stupid I still am sometimes, but way more rarely than earlier.
When I was a little younger, I used to get very angry at myself. That really was bad because I used to hit, bite and scratch myself or hit something against my head, such as a brailler or a chair or just throw myself on the floor. I really have a lot of scars because of this.
Well, that's it, i really hope I will not be regarded as odd and stupid now. I still do it sometimes but not often, honestly. Once in three, four, or five months. Don't be shocked.

## Post 2 by Don'tBlaisMeBro (Folle et simple est la brebis qui au loup se confesse.) on Monday, 09-May-2005 6:50:01

Hey Ines,
I'm glad you learned to own up to it, and admit to it, and all that. I know what your going threw, having done similar things. It wasn't as involved as what you've done but still...
If you ever need an ear, or just someone who has experienced it to talk to, I'm here.
Take care,

## Post 3 by sugarbaby (The voice of reason) on Monday, 09-May-2005 8:45:55

so often part of getting help is admitting that you have a problem. It is often so hard to do, especially to a bunch of strangers on a website like this one, where people are often likely to judge, not necessarily through any fault of their own, but through ignorance. good luck, and hope you can come through it all, have you considered getting professional help?

## Post 4 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Monday, 09-May-2005 10:38:26

I did, but no psychologist could help me with any of my problems so I gave up trusting them. Thanks for your offer, Torico, I might think of it if something like that happens again.

## Post 5 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Monday, 09-May-2005 11:41:40

they will put you on ritalin mind you that might not be a bad idea...

## Post 6 by sugarbaby (The voice of reason) on Monday, 09-May-2005 11:53:58

i'd imagine our learned friend would know - i imagine he has shares in the company ...

## Post 7 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Monday, 09-May-2005 11:59:16

yes I'm expecting my pay out any day now its been a marvellous success

## Post 8 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Monday, 09-May-2005 16:16:37

Um, I don't know what this is about now, but oh well.

## Post 9 by bermuda-triangulese (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Tuesday, 10-May-2005 4:59:30

I've sent it in my email and I'll say it again here, If something ever goes down, I will help ya if I can. What else are relationships for? I got ya back

## Post 10 by season (the invisible soul) on Tuesday, 10-May-2005 13:34:22

hi girl. i had did something stupid in my pass days as well, i won't hurt myself that way but, i'll close the door room in a very hard way, i'll threw all the things on the floor and rearange it back. but all these have left me now. try to think this way, by hurting yourself, the problems will still there and you are not only hurting your own, at the same time, you've hurts your family, those people who love you and care for you as well. you might feel the pain on your physical, but your parents will felt the pian deep in their heart. the best way to solve probs is share out with your friends or family, and let them help you. they might not helping you that much, but at least you have someone to share with and you will feel better. girl, don't do something which will hurts your own, and your parents will hurts more than what you hurts.

## Post 11 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Tuesday, 10-May-2005 13:42:19

ines.
If you feel this way, try and find some sport orr physical work out that you can use to express it, swimming, running, biking real fast .. playing drums, may be having a punch bag (a bag you hang up in the middle of the room and you hit as hard as you can with gloves) are just some things that come to mind. That way you can take the energy from the anger you're feeling and put it to some good use, to work out and build up your body. Don't use it against yourself or against your family no matter how angry you get. I've never been angry enough to have to do any of this but I have friends who are a bit more temperred and when I got irritated or angry I definitely appreciated having my drum set around it felt great.
Cheers and good luck to ya *smiles*
-B

## Post 12 by sugar (Entertain me. I dare you.) on Tuesday, 10-May-2005 17:07:11

Hey Ines... Noone with any shred of empathy is about to judge you for admitting that you used too, and maybe still sometimes do, have anger problems. We all get angry, only some people don't know how to deal with it. That doesn't make you different from any of us. We all have things that we find hard to do or accept, and we all need to ask for help some time in our lives, either professionally, or just from our friends and family. But, I agree with B. Don't bottle it up and take it out on yourself. Find something you really enjoy, and try and channel your anger in to that. It may be sport, it could be writing, art, music, anything. Look for it, and enjoy looking for it. That way, whenever you get angry in the future, you can work through that anger by doing something positive and not by physically hurting yourself. I'm not going to pretend to know what it was like for you in the past, but if you ever wanna ear, you know how to get at me... On a totally different slant, why would Ines need Ritalin? I was under the impression that ritalin is used for A.D.H.D. not anger mannagement.... Also, and this is totally off the topic, but, I think that far to many doctors these days just chuck medication at people and hope it will solve the problem, rather than finding a way to work with that person and find the reason or motivation for the way they feel or behave. The people in this world today don't have enough time for each other, something that I think is a great shame.

## Post 13 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 11-May-2005 3:13:43

Thanks all. I really feel better now that I said it and admitted it, I think tha tmeans I'm about to change it.

## Post 14 by sugarbaby (The voice of reason) on Wednesday, 11-May-2005 7:18:40

yeh sugar I think you're right and ritellin is prescribed for children with ADHD. It's very true that doctors are too quick to hand out the pills these days, for all sorts of reasons. a study out last week showed that a finominal amount of kids are now prescribed anti deprescents, some as young as 5 years old - that simply cannot be healthy.

## Post 15 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 11-May-2005 17:14:02

Many people said I should do this. But see, if it happens, if I'm really angry - nothing can stop me.

## Post 16 by Ukulele<3 (Try me... You know you want to.) on Thursday, 12-May-2005 8:00:43

Oh Ines. I just wanna give you a hug now!!! *huggs* I just want you to know that I have the same problems as well. When I was younger, I used to kick my feet together and the skin on my feet got all irritated. I used to hit myself as well as other people a lot too. I don't know about you but I hated when other people said that I was too violent or stupid because I did that. It doesn't help when people put you down because of it. It just makes the situation worse. But then, as I grew older, I realized that hitting wasn't going to do any good so I just walk away and listen to music whenever I was mad. Whenever I was angry with myself, I would talk about it with a close friend and they always helped me feel good about myself and made me laugh so I wasn't angry anymore. My fiance and I use to have boxing matches with each other whenever we were mad and those days were hell!!! Most likely, if you hit yourself when you are angry with yourself, you will hit others if you are angry with them too. At least, that's what happened to me. I hope that this helps you in finding peace with yourself!!! And just remember that you are not alone!!!
*sexy*

## Post 17 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Monday, 16-May-2005 14:57:53

I totally agree with you. And, I didn'T hit other people but I hit myself, and you could tell from those many scars in my face or my hands.

## Post 18 by asdfghjkl (Account disabled) on Thursday, 19-May-2005 8:43:24

Ines, when I'm depressed, I bottle up all my feelings inside. Not good. You're at least expressing your feelings somehow. The only thing I can think of is prayer. God is what keeps me alive when I'm going through bad times. Well gotta go my bus is hear crap!!!!! bye ooxoxoxox

## Post 19 by Grace (I've now got the ggold prolific poster award! wahoo! well done to me!) on Thursday, 19-May-2005 9:23:07

You know thesongwriter, when it comes to writing I find you have a talent... during those times when so bottled up, just a thot, you could take to putting your expression of what you are experiencing/feeling/going through down on paper... Prayers included... Then in moving forward and as circumstances change (with the hope for the better though sometimes painful situations have a way of hanging around...) you can make note of where you’ve been in your inner expressions of thots/feelings and where in another time span of time you find yourself in these very personal areas and where you might like to be headed... I realize this is a type of writing you've already had some experience in only you might like to go deeper and discover too more of your values, of what they are and perhaps how they change as circumstances warrent. When all bottled up a release is needful. Writing can be useful as a tool to aid in healing. All the Best to you. Connie

## Post 20 by Texas Shawn (The cute, cuddley, little furr ball) on Thursday, 19-May-2005 10:38:10

I can understand how you feel we all get angry from time to time, and for me I've found different ways to change how I feel that are not distructive. One thing I'll admit here is that i'm a recovering alcoholic, I've been sober for about 19 months and before I drank dayly for about 8 years. I don't keep it a big secret and I am not ashamed of it. I know what it's like on a grand scale to bottle things up and keep them inside and then just keep drinking over it. Try some physical exercise, or take a walk, or talk to yourself inside your head to calm your self down. there's a lot of good ways out there that you can do to change how you feel!

## Post 21 by shadow cloan (Generic Zoner) on Thursday, 19-May-2005 10:47:57

Hello Ines, first i want to say that your proberly the bravest person i know and hell i am pleased to know you. ask any one who knows me and they'll tell you i don't normally say that unless i mean it. i used to do a simular thing myself but, i don't any more accept in stressful situations. what i'm gunna say now i shall say as your friend and as a cousiler. first, saying it aloud to people that you don't even know, well, some you do, but, saying it aloud like that is the best thing you could do. look at the board no one hates you for it. i don't know about the others but, i respect you for it.
i'm glad you could trust us here enough.
Take care

## Post 22 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Friday, 20-May-2005 2:42:48

Thank you very, very much. And, I agree. I don't do it that often anymore, but, just to let you know, it happened again yesterday. I bit in my both hands which are pretty hurt now, but it's all right. Just to let you know: I'm not through yet.