# the month after christmas

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Damia (I'm oppinionated deal with it.) on Friday, 13-Jan-2006 21:54:19

: Tis the month after Christmas, and all through the house
: Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
:
: The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste
: At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
:
: When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
: When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
:
: I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared;
: The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
:
: The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
: And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
:
: As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
: And prepared once again to do battle with dirt---
:
: I said to myself, as I only can
: "You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
:
: So--away with the last of the sour cream dip,
: Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip
:
: Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
: "Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
:
: I won't have a cookie--not even a lick.
: I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
:
: I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
: I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
:
: I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore---
: But isn't that what January is for?
:
: Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
: Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!