# what happens when the one you love doesnt trust?

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by de chipmunk (I'll try being nicer, if you try being smarter) on Friday, 29-Jul-2005 11:59:36

well, the topic says it all, i just want to know how people feel about that and do you feel that if a person doesnt trust you in a relationship that it will effect it?

## Post 2 by sugarbaby (The voice of reason) on Friday, 29-Jul-2005 12:20:18

Well love and trust go hand in hand. If you love someone, and are with them, then you have to be able to trust them, implicitly. If you don’t, then you need to question why not. Mistrust can happen for various reasons, if you have been cheated on in a previous relationship that can lead to insecurity, however if this happens it is always wise to remember that the person you are with now is not the person who cheated on you, and that by not trusting the one you are with now is actually grossly unfair to them. If the mistrust is because of your current partner having cheated on you or given you reason to not trust them, then you need to talk it through, and if that person wants to make the relationship work they will have to work to regain your trust, but if you tell them you trust them, then you have to follow it through, because without trust, the relationship has no future.

## Post 3 by shea (number one pulse checking chicky) on Friday, 29-Jul-2005 13:14:48

very well said sb! you must have trust. if you can't trust them then somewhere down the line your relationship is doomed! It may not be right away but soon to happen! smile- angel

## Post 4 by mdyer1983 (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Friday, 29-Jul-2005 13:33:39

Yes I think that as it has been said that if there iis no trust and no relationship. It is not there at all. I am speaking from experience.

## Post 5 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Saturday, 30-Jul-2005 9:16:19

Would you be willing to find out why there is no trust, or would you prefer to take the easier option, of dumping the person so they can in turn, become more f..ked up and hurt someone else...you could be the 1 to break the cycle ...

## Post 6 by mdyer1983 (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Saturday, 30-Jul-2005 14:14:41

If it were me I would like to find out why there is no trust and see what can be done help the relationship, but if it does not work then there is no relationship.

## Post 7 by changedheart421 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Saturday, 30-Jul-2005 14:45:35

would you trust someone who when you met them said they were les but really cheated on you the first 5 months. and when another girl comes to you and says all this stuff about them liking your girl and all would you think it funny could you honestly say you wouldn't get stressed

## Post 8 by asdfghjkl (Account disabled) on Saturday, 30-Jul-2005 22:45:47

Here here, Claire! There can't be a relationship without trust. I learned that once, the hard way. Some of you may know the story, but I was in a relationship with someone whose friends were fighting with him, and people tried to suck me into the middle,... so it was emotional torture; I didn't know whom to trust, so I said: "Look, man, I gotta back outa the serious stuff for now." Then, another time I trusted someone too much, and he dumped me and came back four times. Well, we weren't exactly going out, but he kept playing me on. Then, someone kept bugging me and asking me, and finally, I said yes. At first I didn't want to 'cause I wanted to get to know him better, I was healing from some things, and well,... yeah. But finally, I said yes, he went off to camp for two weeks a few days after it was official, and he came back home and dumped me for someone whom he had hooked up with at camp. What was worse? That person, ladies and gentlemen, was someone I had known for six years, which turned out to be a biiig mess. Anyway, I can't trust really anyone now, and I need to fix that before I go into any relationship of any kind. The one whom I like I trust with my life, but the reason he and I haven't made it official is a different cause other than trust issue. Anyway, enough of my ramblings; SugarBaby, very good point. Mel out.

## Post 9 by Flidais (WISEST IS SHE WHO KNOWS THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 4:25:45

Once you lose trust, it's only a matter of time before your relationship collapses

## Post 10 by Chris N (I just keep on posting!) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 4:39:22

That's very true. Trust and open communication are the two keys to a successful relationship. I don't think you can have one without those things. Compatability is a biggie too. and a love of gin. definitely. Anyway though...

## Post 11 by Harp (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 5:18:18

i have a different take on things. why not sleep with everybody you feel like when ever you want but always tell your partner? that way your always being honest and nobody has a reason not to trust!

## Post 12 by Flidais (WISEST IS SHE WHO KNOWS THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 5:28:44

that works to. Maybe I'll start doing that now....hmmmm Might work better than what I've been doing.

## Post 13 by Chris N (I just keep on posting!) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 6:03:43

Careful. Who knows what calamaty might befall you.

## Post 14 by Harp (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 7:01:50

natalie i wish to volunteer my services! *wink*

## Post 15 by shea (number one pulse checking chicky) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 10:24:58

careful harp get the wrong girl and it may shrivel up and fall off! hehehehehehe evil grin! - angel

## Post 16 by Flidais (WISEST IS SHE WHO KNOWS THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 13:51:46

Sure Harp, I told you on VT, come over. lol see peoples, this is the resulting consequence of loyalty.

## Post 17 by Chris N (I just keep on posting!) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 14:02:54

1000000 points says I can get there before Harp. Oh wait. It's not like I need the points...

## Post 18 by Flidais (WISEST IS SHE WHO KNOWS THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 14:08:05

2 million points says you're right. hahaha &LT;smile&GT;

## Post 19 by Harp (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 14:14:46

and 3000000 points says that it isn't good to cum first chris! i win! hehehehe.

## Post 20 by Flidais (WISEST IS SHE WHO KNOWS THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW) on Sunday, 31-Jul-2005 14:27:19

lol!

## Post 21 by Senior (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 01-Aug-2005 10:34:00

If my partner didn't trust me, I'd do my best to earn their trust. I would encourage my partner to do the same if I didn't trust her. If you do something to make your partner not trust you you've only got yourself to blame for them not trusting you. If you can't earn their trust because they have too much baggage then the problem is with them and if it gets too much, you can always dump them.

## Post 22 by Manwe (The Dark Lord) on Tuesday, 02-Aug-2005 6:52:36

unfortunately I was accused of cheating 4 times. The person I was with was very insecure. Am not a person who would cheat and even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have had the oppertunity to anyway. So yes trust is ecential. With out that, then your relationship is doomed

## Post 23 by Eponine (If you find a rare Gem, hold it tightly!) on Tuesday, 02-Aug-2005 10:36:57

First, you three buggers are sick. ahahaha. Next, yes, there are different reasons for having trust issures. It may not have anything to do with your partner, but it may be a result of past hurts and failed relationships. First the key is to remember that the current relationship is not the past. Second, the one who is with the person with the trust issue must reassurre th other that thy have nothing to worry about, tha means being open, and honest about things, even if they are small things. It only takes one little lie to break the fragile thread of trust. I am speaking from personal experience, since I've been dealing with that myself. I have settleed in to a comfortable place, where trust is no longer an issue now, because I decided that my past hurts and broken trusts are not my partners fault, so why should i distrust him, unless he'd gave me a reason too. That is dooming the relationship. Not a good idea.

## Post 24 by Manwe (The Dark Lord) on Tuesday, 02-Aug-2005 10:59:42

agreed. I would always tell my other half where I was at any given time. Before she broke up with me, I even set MSN mobile up so she could stay in contact with me no matter where I was. all she needed was a computer and if she wanted to talk or anything she could either call me or msn me. I like to keep the comunication wide open because that is such a key thing.

## Post 25 by tear drop (No longer looking for a prince, merely a pauper with potential!!!!!) on Wednesday, 17-May-2006 19:47:20

it hurts when the one you love doesn't trust, but if it's true love, there's got to be a way to work it out.

## Post 26 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Friday, 26-Jun-2009 1:09:11

I much rather date someone who shares my values and trust that I am right, than one who secretly sneaks behind me with suspicion.