# Scottish joke..

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Tuesday, 26-Apr-2005 10:09:11

In the begining when god was creating the earth,he was sitting on a cloud telling his pal gabriel,what he had planned for Scotland "Gabby" he said "I'm giving them soaring mountains, purple glens,high flying eagles ,streams laden with salmon, golden of barley from which a Whisky coloured nectar can be made,
.....Green lush spectaular golf courses, coal in the ground, oil under the sea, and gas..."hold on" said Gabriel "aren't you being over generous to these Scots"
....
"NO" replied god wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them {the english}

## Post 2 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Tuesday, 26-Apr-2005 10:17:34

An englishman entered a bar and stood beside a Scotsman .After they had chatted for a while the Scot asked "where are you from pal" the englishman replied "I'm from the finest country in the world" the Scot looked sceptical and said "you've a damned funny accent for a Scotsman"
.............
Did you hear what the english the Irish and the Scots did when they heard the world was coming to an end...the english all went out and got drunk,the Irish all went to church,and the Scots had a closing down sale..
...........
An englishman roused by a Scot's scorn of his race,protested that he was born an englishman and he hoped to die an englishman.."Man!" scoffed the Scot "have y,nae ambeetion?".
........
McDougal was offered £500 for his dog by an american and £100 by an englishman. Much to everyone's surprise he accepted the englishman's bid.Afterward he explained "the dog can walk back home fae england but he'll ne'er swim the Atlantic...