# Question

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by Trent Kalamack (Generic Zoner) on Wednesday, 30-Sep-2009 23:35:37

Why do bad guys end up with good girls and the relationship does not work? Why is it the job of the good guy to fix the girl. When girls have good guys they find a reason to break up.

## Post 2 by SilverLightning (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Wednesday, 30-Sep-2009 23:47:27

Good question, I don't think it has an answer, but if you find one, let me know. I had that problem in high school, I was a good guy, and the bad guys get the girls, abuse them, and we pick up the pieces.

## Post 3 by insanity (Account disabled) on Thursday, 01-Oct-2009 2:09:18

Aww guys! 8hugs* so sad. well there is an answer. In fact, there are a lot of answer. The right answer, glover, to your particular question depends on the girl. some girls have abusive fathers. It is human nature for girls to seak out men like their fathers. They don't mean to. they do it on a sub-concious level. They seak out men that make them feel familiar and safe. Other girls who don't seak their fathers honestly don't see it coming. Some of these creeps are masters at concealing their true intent behind a mask of caring and genuine understanding. When the mask falls away, the girl is floored. she didn't expect this. It wasn't in the script for romeo to turn into a dummio, but now that it's happened, she, being the good girl you described, will be damned if she'll be tricked again. Of course you're nice. He was nice too. first and formost,, if this happens to you, be a friend, a pal, someone she doesn't mind sending to the store for all them feminen products. Once you're that close, then something might come of it. be prepared though. she might come to you with tears in her eyes and say "Thanks Glover1 because you were so nice to me, I was able to trust... Stanley. Now we're gonna get married and live on a rabbit farm in Algeria." Don't be disheartened. Keep on being the sympathetic friend and eventually, she'll come to you. that's how life works. Pore enough good in your cup and some of it's bound to spill over.
Lucy

## Post 4 by forereel (Just posting.) on Thursday, 01-Oct-2009 2:32:40

Some girls are just plain excited by the bad boy. He's tough, he usually dresses in the latest fashion. He ride a Harley, not a Schwen. You get the picture. Excitement. He's also confident. He walks up to the girl bad or good and tells her exactly what's on his mind, and if she's not interested he moves on to the next one until he finds one that is. Smile. Good guys can do this to and not end up in jail. Lol. Try it!

## Post 5 by Trent Kalamack (Generic Zoner) on Thursday, 01-Oct-2009 21:33:36

Lucy
Please dont take this the wrong way you give such great advice. Why are you single if you dont mind me asking
forereel
I am am confident. Some people say that i am yo truth full or some shit like that. I thought girls wanteed some one to really care about them what the hell.

## Post 6 by Preciosa (The precious one and her littledog too.) on Friday, 02-Oct-2009 9:50:59

Women are, by nature, nurturers. We tend to think that we can fix the bad guy but I think that by the time we realize that he's the one who has to make the changes, we're too damaged to see that not all guys are the same.
just my two cents

## Post 7 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 02-Oct-2009 12:30:03

Preciosa definitely has a point. I think it's the way she describes in a lot of cases.
So does Forereel. Interestingly enough, I've seen this phenomenon go the other way around, though not nearly as often. I've seen good guys interested in the, "bad girl," too. But yes, usually it goes the way we're talking about, and I don't understand it, even though I've fallen pray to it before. it's something about my gender that I think none of us get, not even the good girls.

## Post 8 by Trent Kalamack (Generic Zoner) on Friday, 02-Oct-2009 14:34:41

So to sum it all up girls are crazy and deal with it.

## Post 9 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Friday, 02-Oct-2009 19:14:37

that's true girls are definitely crazy, and I've noticed that like sometimes if like a good girl does manage to go with a good guy, he um, isn't confident as they mentioned, and like i know girls are different on this too, but me personally I like a guy who's um experienced if you will. I dunno there's alot to take into consideration when answering this question.

## Post 10 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 02-Oct-2009 21:40:57

Yeah, that is a problem. I'm making a huge generalization here, and so this does not by any means apply to all guys, or girls. But a lot of the so-called good guys I've met are not confident, or spontaneous, fun-loving, etc. They have good hearts, and they may have a sense of humor, it's just not as outgoing and on the service as others. So, that's why they kind of fade into the background. As someone earlier pointed out, the bad guy usually stands out with his confidence, his spontaneous and fun-loving nature, etc. Girls are often attracted to and excited by that. I've recently learned that you can have all those things in a good guy, too. they just seem to be more rare.

## Post 11 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Friday, 02-Oct-2009 22:33:55

There are also the guys who think they are good guys but really are just losers. I mean, in the Adam Sandler movie, the creepy wannabee, who sings at weddings is the good guy and there is always a successful, smart but untrustful Wallstreet guy who mistreats his girl. In real life the Wall Street guys is not always a cheating bastard and the wedding singer really is a loser.
I am not saying the poster of this borad is a loser, but pointing out that the loser guys exist, and they can't just hide behind the fact girls like "bad guys".
There are just too many types of people to go make such generalizations.

## Post 12 by Trent Kalamack (Generic Zoner) on Friday, 02-Oct-2009 23:04:55

cool

## Post 13 by season (the invisible soul) on Friday, 02-Oct-2009 23:09:59

depends on individual defination of what consider 'good guy, or bad guy', as well as 'good girl or bad girl'.
perhaps, oneself find attractive for someone that consider bad, but for him or her, consider good, i guess, it come to very personal view of all these. what define good girl or bad girl, or vise verser for guy in this matter?
bad girl or guy as a heart breaker or a chrimanal, or having some abusive / addiction behaviour?
and good girl or guy as someone with kind heart, someone obey the rules of family, culture, and society?
at the end of the day, it come to very own personal view on what consider as good and bad, what is acceptable and unacceptable.
every individual have different background, different teaching from the parents, and society, is very hard to generalize every good girl or good boy in the same catogary, so do the bad one.

## Post 14 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Friday, 02-Oct-2009 23:52:08

There are just so many different things that work and do not work with people. May be a lot of girls break up with you, guess what, Brad Pitt has gotten broken up with a lot of times too, yet he is, at lesat from a distance, considered one of the sexiest guys ever, apparently.
Same with the hot girls, lookslike Jennifer Anderstone, Angelina or Madonna can't find a lifelong partner they can be happy with.
If you are, or think you are, ugly you blame that on not succeeding in relationships, if you are pretty you may feel like people just want to get with you and use you for your looks.
Basically it's a whole circus, a lottery and lots of work, you have no guaranteed wins going into the game and you got to keep at it and, yes, you have to be really lucky to find the person who wants to spend the rest of his or hef life with you, and you got to work to make himor her happy, and that is a great thing.
It takes patience, tenacity and willingness to learn from one's mistakes when one makes them, and realize everything is not your fault or the other one's fault when things end, and take what can be learnt from it to future relationships, trying to make them better. That is a lot admittedly but it's also really all you can do.

## Post 15 by Ok Sure (This site is so "educational") on Friday, 02-Oct-2009 23:55:49

I usually have more female friends than male, and while growing up, I made a habit of noticing what attracted my friends to certain guys, and what did the opposite.
From that, I learned that it's not really bad boys, or bad guys that women find attractive, it's just guys who have something going for them which they find interesting. The line between cocky and confident is often blurred with younger guys, but things usually clear up as time passes and women mature.
A good ting to do is to pay attention to these bad guys and see what it is about them that is attracting women. Do they Dress well? How do they carry themselves? How do they communicate their ideas? When they are talking to a girl, how do they open up the conversation, and how do they close the deal?
As stated before, alott of times it's just the "I don't really care if you like me or not." attitude that makes the difference. While the nice guy is making an effort to be liked and is thinking ;what can I do to please you? The bad guy or the confident guy is thinking; Hi, I'm great to be around, just hang out and see.

## Post 16 by Trent Kalamack (Generic Zoner) on Saturday, 03-Oct-2009 14:53:20

I know that different people have different views on what is a good guy and what is a bad guy I understand that. How many people on here see there friend go through a bad relationships? It's not a bad relationship cause you want to try and date that close friend but, it is bad because they tell you it is a bad relationship. How many of you have been that good guy or girl that has to deal with the left over issues that that one or to bad guy created? How many of you have been hit with that line all guys or girls are the same?

## Post 17 by forereel (Just posting.) on Sunday, 04-Oct-2009 2:27:06

If you go about looking at relationships as good or bad you don't learn anything. If you are always out there with your heart on your sleeve, and saying "like me please I'm okay" you are like a puppy, and that is simply not actractive. Sure women and men fall for the exciting, but when the day is done they want to settle down with someone that is stable, easy to live with, like themselves, and is sure they are okay. Life is not perfect, so if you go about it in that vain, then you will continue to see "good guys, good girls, or vice versa. If you see life as People and people, then you do better, because you will then feel easy in yourself, can first become a girls friend, then her lover. I my self love a good friend first before I'm trying to put a ring on her toe. Smile. Sorry, but as I've said before you need to be interesting, fun, and as care free as life allows, then you'll atract these girls you want to atract I think.Also remember you! will! bomb! many times, that is life, and everyone doesn't like everyone. Maybe your to fit, to fat, the wrong race, the wrong religion, your hair is not long enough, or you don't drink. People are as they are, but I still come back to the bad guys usually have it going on in the fun department, so. Smile.

## Post 18 by Songbird83 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Tuesday, 06-Oct-2009 15:38:10

Well, I have dated a bad boy once, but he didn't dress weird, he was just a wrestler when he was in high school, so he'd try to put on the motcho tough image. I didn't fall for that, he changed and then when we were dating, and was all sweet and nice. I realized that if he didn't get his way, he'd throw a tamtrum and pick a fight. I didn't want that after all. I realized after dating for 13 years, that I don't want a bad guy. Sure I'd like someone who's outgoing or if shy, at least has a good head on his shoulders and is a nice guy. I dno't need the motcho guy anymore. Even though he was the only bad guy that I've ever been with. But when you're younger, you make bad decisions. lol. But oh well. But I agree with some of the posters on here. I know a girl who always falls for bad guys and I don't understand it because she always gets her heart broken. But she's the kind of person from now what I know of her who likes to change for others, and I'd never do that. That's just digging yourself a whole that you won't get out of someday. So who really knows. I just hope that everyone finds what they're looking for someday.

## Post 19 by daileyt (Zone BBS Addict) on Thursday, 08-Oct-2009 11:29:13

I don't think that's necessiarily true. In my relationship, i'm the bad girl and he's the good guy. We've been together for six years and we're still going strong because like they say opposites attract!