# I hate saying good bye, anyone?

Category: Let's talk

## Post 1 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 19-Aug-2007 19:05:51

Hi,
I'm looking for some advice on something. I have a cousin from louisiana that stayed over at my house for 3 weeks. We took him to the airport yesterday. I was so sad to see him go. Well, as the title says, I hate saying goodbye. Now, I don't mean saying goodbye on the phone or messenger, I mean a more longterm prospective. If you say good bye to someone, and you know it's going to be a long time till you se them again, do you feel sad? What techniques do you use to help you get over your sadness? If you post to this topic, that's going to help allot.
Thanks.
Katie

## Post 2 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 20-Aug-2007 0:32:21

First thing I do is to focus on the loss of the person, particularly if it is long-term. I remember when Iw as younger, I had a close friend of mine die. I wrote him a very long letter telling him how much I valued his friendship. I also try to remember the positives of the relationship, and ask myself what I can take from it.
Hope this helps.
Lou

## Post 3 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 20-Aug-2007 0:35:38

I agree, but even if they are coming back, there is still sadness. I'm sorry if I sound stupid.

## Post 4 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 20-Aug-2007 1:04:16

I think saying goodbye is difficult under any circumstances to people we're fond of. So to me, you don't sound stupid at all. One thing I do with family and friends is to start planning our next get-together ASAP. Helps to take some of the sting out of it.
Lou

## Post 5 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 20-Aug-2007 1:08:15

I agree. That would help. Saying goodbye is like diving into a cold deep pool. Take a breath, and take the plunge.

## Post 6 by speedie (move over school!) on Monday, 20-Aug-2007 8:43:45

In the days when we'd no way of contacting anyone beyond letters, and sure between the letters, it was impossible to know if they were even alive, it would have been a lot harder.
I'm ok at good bye up to the day when their going.
Stevie.

## Post 7 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 20-Aug-2007 14:36:43

Well, either saying goodbye for awhile and saying good bye forever, the feeling barely changes. You feel sad on both ocasions. The hard part is trying to hold the sadness in. When I left the blindness training center, It was devistating because I had close friends that I won't ever see again. I was sad for days. I try to hide the sadness because I'm to ashamed of being sad.

## Post 8 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 20-Aug-2007 15:06:51

Well, I don't think sadness is anything to be ashamed of. Part of my belief on that point comes from the fact that I cry easily. I think after a program such as a blindness training center where you share so much, makes it hard to leave, because you've formed a bond.
Lou

## Post 9 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 20-Aug-2007 15:21:29

Well, I don't think sadness is something to be ashamed of if you're a kid, but I'm an adult now and adults don't cry. I still feel sad on ocasions because I miss my friends at the blindness training center. Goodbye is a powerful and one of the worst words to say in my opinion.

## Post 10 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 20-Aug-2007 16:15:10

Well, goodbye can be positive if it is associated with someone or something you don't like. By the way Katie, adults do cry at times, if they are honest with themselves and with you.
Lou

## Post 11 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 20-Aug-2007 16:17:27

I see your point. I wonder if you say goodbye to someone, how do you relieve the sadness?

## Post 12 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 21-Aug-2007 1:26:52

I think we all deal with it in our own ways. For me, I know that if the person is someone I really care about, I'll remain in contact with them. I know that probably isn't much of an answer, but I'm fiercely loyal to people I care about, and really try to keep my word about keeping in touch.
Lou

## Post 13 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 21-Aug-2007 11:06:19

I think that's a good thing to do is keep in touch with them. That helps.

## Post 14 by TheAsianInvasion (The Zone's invader) on Friday, 24-Aug-2007 1:46:07

saying good bye is a sad thing of course. I personaly, try to think about the next timehe/she is coming back, there is still sadnes, so I listen to music. that always helps

## Post 15 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Friday, 24-Aug-2007 11:50:44

That's a good idea. I love listening to music.

## Post 16 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 07-Nov-2007 6:21:01

When I left the blindness training center, I lost a best friend in the process. After being devistated for some time, I have somewhat got over the loss. On ocasions, I still greeve the loss to this day.

## Post 17 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 14-Nov-2007 18:05:28

Saying goodbye to someone? I've been there done that. I said goodbye to people back from where i used to live. It was hard for me because i know there's a chance that i might never see those people again, but in your case, you'll still see your cousin, so i think just give it time. E mail each other, IM, or call your cousin to see how he is. Well, instead of saying goodbye next time just say good night. lol, so it will be easier for you. Hope it helps.

## Post 18 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Thursday, 15-Nov-2007 17:25:04

That's all good, but in the case with my friends from the blindness training center, I may never see them again.

## Post 19 by purple penguin (Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.) on Thursday, 15-Nov-2007 17:26:24

You never know. The blind comunity is a small world.

## Post 20 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Thursday, 15-Nov-2007 17:34:01

Well, they're so far away, so it's a slim chance I'll ever see them again.

## Post 21 by Manwe (The Dark Lord) on Friday, 16-Nov-2007 11:11:29

it's difficult to say good by. especially when you live far away. but i have friends over in the US and i'm in the UK. it's hard but i guess you get used to it. the thing that makes it easier is the internet. email, cheap international phone calls or sometimes free depending on where you are phoning to, skype i'm thinking of here or voip buster, still the point being that there is more than 1 way to maintain a close friendship. i truly believe that. and it doesn't matter how old you are it's ok to cry it's a natural human thing to do. it's a safety thing in a way. b ecause you have to release your feelings if you don't then they will come out anyway and it will be even worce. so if you feel the need to cry then go somewhere and do it. at least you can let it go which does make getting on with life easier. does't matter whether you are man or woman or child. we all have emotional needs. we all form bonds. it's nothing to be ashamed of.

## Post 22 by ocean blue (what you see! is what you get!) on Friday, 16-Nov-2007 14:18:23

well i've had to say good bye to a relationship that i had for 4 years and that was really hard because i really loved his family. so it's not just hard to say good bye to friends but love ones and i think it's all the same. I will tell you one thing that i sometimes do when a friend or a family member is leaving is i'll get them something. that will help them remember you. And you'll feel better because you know that you let them know that you care. It doesn't have to be anything big or expencive but you could even make them something. Like a card, or a picture. And yes if you want to cry saying good bye right there with them or later it's ok. So keep your head up high! and smile! And you never know if you will see your friends from the living center. if you keep in tuch and try to find a place to meat it could happen. so don't give up?

## Post 23 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 19-Nov-2007 20:18:36

Well, If I don't let my emotions out, what could go wrong.

## Post 24 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Tuesday, 20-Nov-2007 9:46:44

It can be emotionally draining to have to put on a happy face for the world to see, and then let your fears, worry and sadness come back to haunt you when you're alone. Your stress levels can go up, which can lead to elevated blood pressure, and exaserbate any suspected health problems you might have, as seen on other board topics, including insomnia and stress. elevated blood pressure is, and here I quote Doctor G, a person who has had over two decades of experience with seeing people who have died of this among many other complications, 'a silent killer." There are no symptoms, and this deadly condition can only be diagnosed by your primary care physician. Please seek help.

## Post 25 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 20-Nov-2007 23:21:11

Good advice.

## Post 26 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Monday, 26-Nov-2007 23:43:39

Then, act upon it, rather than sitting there griping.

## Post 27 by audioadict (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Friday, 25-Jul-2008 3:12:52

Next weeik, my friend shawna will be flying back to new york. I may feel a sense of greef and loss for a little while.

## Post 28 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Friday, 25-Jul-2008 14:11:03

Yes, but you stil have a means o contacting her, whether it's through , MSN, or Skype.