# A Few Jokes

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by HellTabby666 (Shh... quiet, you might piss somebody off.) on Sunday, 11-Dec-2016 1:05:26

1: What happens when a grape gets stepped on by an elephant?
It lets out a little wine.
2: What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
3: How do you know its raining cats and dogs?
You step in a poodle.
4: Have you heard the joke about the cookie?
Never mind, its pretty crummy.
5: What did one eye say to the other eye?
`Something smells between us.`
6: Why was the sand wet?
The see weed.
7: Why don't you see hippos hiding in trees?
Because they're really good at it.
8: What did the triangle say to the square?
`You're pointless.`
9: Why shouldn't you trust the king of the jungle?
Because he's always lion.
10: Why shouldn't you play Poker on the savannah?
Because of all the cheetas.
11: What is brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung!
12: What's blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff.
13: What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
A hippo is really heavy, but a Zippo is a little lighter.
14: Have you heard of the movie called Constipation?
Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.
15: Did you hear about the Italian chef?
He pasta way.
16: Why did the chalkboard want to be a whiteboard?
He heard they were remarkable.
17: Did you hear about the farmer who went to court for feeding his cattle explosives?
The jury said it was a-bomb-in-a-bull.

## Post 2 by the oracle (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 11-Dec-2016 6:19:26

lol at some of these!
number 12 is just terrible.
where does tarzan get his clothes
the jungle sale
where do cows go on holiday
moo york
why didn't the skeleton go out on a date?
because he had nobody to go with
what did the big chimney say to the little chimney
you're too young to smoke
what did 1 elevator say to the other elevator
I must be coming down with something

## Post 3 by Shepherdwolf (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Sunday, 11-Dec-2016 8:20:18

Okay, here are a few?
What did the dirt say to the rain?
Great. Because of you, my name is mud.
What do an elephant and a blueberry have in common?
They're both blue...except the elephant.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a cornfield?
Too many ears are listening.
What's yellow and dangerous?
A banana with a machine gun.
OR
Shark-infested custard, of course.
Where does the king keep his armies?
Up his sleevies.
Why did the jelly roll?
Because it saw the apple turnover.
Why couldn't the pony talk?
He was a little hoarse.
Why did the doctor give the victim of a hit-and-run vitamins?
He knew they were good for people who had been run down.
How do you fit an elephant in the refrigerator?
Open the door, shove him in and close the door again.
How do you make an elephant float?
Soad, ice cream, then add one elephant.
What's green, weighs forty tons and lives deep in the ocean?
Moby Snot, the great green whale.
Why did the tomato blush?
It saw the salad dressing.
What did the shovel say to the pile of dirt?
Man, I dig you.
What did the judge say when a skunk entered his courtroom?
Odour in the court!
Yeah, I know some of those were out-and-out terrible, but I couldn't resist sharing a few.

## Post 4 by HellTabby666 (Shh... quiet, you might piss somebody off.) on Sunday, 11-Dec-2016 15:56:13

I liked the one about the elephant and the blueberry. it was........yeah. :p

## Post 5 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Monday, 12-Dec-2016 17:00:59

What's the difference between beernuts and deernuts?
Beernuts are a dollar thirty-nine and deernuts are under a buck.