# Sex is a man's best friend

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Nem (I just keep on posting!) on Wednesday, 08-Jun-2005 18:01:41

My Dog Named Sex
Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City
Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is
a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must
have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until
after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about
my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice
of the Peace. My family was barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife
and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The
clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told
him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on
TV." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after
I was married." The Judge said, "Same here!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.
I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my
first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left
me for ever. I can't live any longer being so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so go
get yourself a dog."

## Post 2 by louiano (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 08-Jun-2005 19:25:54

lol.... well that is an explanation of how wrong people can get.... these
days

## Post 3 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Wednesday, 08-Jun-2005 22:16:25

lollollol!

## Post 4 by AllieCat (Account disabled) on Friday, 10-Jun-2005 2:40:12

Oh Malcolm, my dear, I really love that one!

## Post 5 by Precious (The elusive One) on Saturday, 11-Jun-2005 17:58:14

Lol o my how funny....lol where did you get that from? A dog named sex? Lol! Very orriginal...i like that

## Post 6 by Nem (I just keep on posting!) on Saturday, 11-Jun-2005 18:05:03

It's from funny.com

## Post 7 by Grace (I've now got the ggold prolific poster award! wahoo! well done to me!) on Saturday, 11-Jun-2005 18:43:19

there is this story of a guy who had a dog named Nine Waters. One evening he had company over and the dishes didn't seemed to be washed very well at the table and as his guests were seated one lady spoke up complainging how awfully dirty the dishes seemed to be and how she didn't want to eat off of them. The guy said, but these dishes were washed by Nine Waters.... *grin* Got to admit your story is better than mine.