# Dear Dad...

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Tuesday, 18-Oct-2005 12:12:09

A FATHER GOING BY HIS SON'S BEDROOM WAS ASTONISHED TO SEE THE BED WAS MADE
AND EVERYTHING WAS PICKED UP.
THEN HE SAW AN ENVELOPE PROPPED UP PROMINENTLY ON THE CENTER OF THE BED;
IT
WAS ADDRESSED "DAD".
WITH THE WORST PREMONITION, HE OPENED THE ENVELOPE AND READ THE LETTER
WITH
TREMBLING HANDS:
DEAR DAD,
IT IS WITH GREAT REGRET AND SORROW THAT I'M WRITING THIS. I HAD TO ELOPE
WITH MY NEW GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE I WANTED TO AVOID A SCENE WITH MOM AND YOU.
I'VE BEEN FINDING REAL PASSION WITH BARBARA AND SHE IS SO NICE WITH ALL
HER
PIERCING, TATTOOS, AND HER TIGHT MOTORCYCLE CLOTHES. BUT IT'S NOT ONLY THE
PASSION DAD, SHE'S PREGNANT AND BARBARA SAID THAT WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY.
EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T CARE FOR HER AND SHE IS MUCH OLDER THAN I, SHE
ALREADY
OWNS A TRAILER IN THE WOODS AND HAS A STACK OF FIREWOOD FOR THE WHOLE
WINTER. SHE WANTS TO HAVE MANY MORE CHILDREN WITH ME AND THAT'S NOW ONE OF
MY DREAMS TOO. BARBARA TAUGHT ME THAT MARIJUANA DOESN'T REALLY HURT ANYONE
AND WE'LL BE GROWING IT FOR OURSELVES AND TRADING IT WITH HER FRIENDS FOR
ALL THE COCAINE AND ECSTASY WE WANT. IN THE MEANTIME, WE'LL PRAY THAT
SCIENCE WILL FIND A CURE FOR AIDS SO BARBARA CAN GET BETTER, SHE SURE
DESERVES IT!
DON'T WORRY DAD, I'M 15 YEARS OLD NOW AND I KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF
MYSELF.
SOMEDAY, I'M SURE WE'LL BE BACK TO VISIT SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW YOUR
GRANDCHILDREN.
YOUR SON, JOHN
P.S. DAD, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE. I'M OVER AT THE NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE. I JUST
WANTED TO REMIND YOU THAT THERE ARE WORSE THINGS IN LIFE THAN MY REPORT
CARD
THAT'S IN MY DESK CENTER DRAWER.
I LOVE YOU!
CALL WHEN IT'S SAFE FOR ME TO COME HOME.

## Post 2 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Wednesday, 19-Oct-2005 20:30:38

ahh hahahahahaha very nice

## Post 3 by louiano (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 19-Oct-2005 22:37:18

see? now that i have a 70 in algebra thats what i am doing for this weekend when i ge home.