# Should spouses give each other their passwords?

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by Runner229 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 18-Sep-2012 14:29:25

This is an interesting topic I thought of just now, and I'd like your take on it. Should people that are dating give each other their passwords to things such as email, facebook, etc? I personally don't see the point, if you trust the other person.

## Post 2 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Tuesday, 18-Sep-2012 14:48:46

I think giving out passwords to anyone is unacceptable. I have nothing to hide, but my email, phone, what I'm doing on the computer, etc, are my business only.
if someone is insecure enough to feel the need to know those things, they obviously have issues to work through, and we wouldn't have anything worth keeping, to begin with.

## Post 3 by rat (star trek rules!) on Tuesday, 18-Sep-2012 15:43:45

for me it kind of depends on how long i've been with theperson, if they live with me, and what the thing they want the password is. personal things like email voicemail or social networking sites keep to yourself but if the person is helping you manage other things sometimes passwords need to be shared.

## Post 4 by TechnologyUser2012 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 18-Sep-2012 18:06:40

I don't think giving your password to anyone is a good idea.

## Post 5 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 18-Sep-2012 20:08:06

Hmm, I tried replying to this once, but it didn't seem to work. Sorry if this shows up twice.
No, I don't think couples need to give each other their passwords to things like email, or social networking sites. I certainly would not expect my boyfriend or even husband to do that. And though I have nothing to hide, I would resent being asked for mine. Just because a couple is dating or even married doesn't mean that they can't keep a modicum of privacy. However, if there's a shared account of some kind, I think both should have those passwords. Like a shared bank account, or credit cards, where finances are managed online. Then both should be able to have access.

## Post 6 by season (the invisible soul) on Tuesday, 18-Sep-2012 23:03:24

I pretty much agree with what Alicia said. If a couple share account of some sort, or have a common account, yes, then its normal to share password and some information like that. If not, i think it is better to have it as private. Not that you have anything to hide or something, it is also about the trust, and honesty as well i guess.

## Post 7 by forereel (Just posting.) on Tuesday, 18-Sep-2012 23:17:33

I agree with both Happy Heart and the sister. If I'm just dating no period. You'd hae to live with me for a while, and than what fore? I personally wouldn't be interested in anyones password at all, and when I help them with an issue I tell them to change it, or I try to forget it. I just don't care.
If I have to go checking after them like that I need to date someone else.

## Post 8 by Master Alex Matthew SARcastic (Account disabled) on Thursday, 20-Sep-2012 3:47:28

There are positives and negatives about this but really good topic Ryan, topic of the year this is.
I think if you're married and have like a Facebook account that you share with yes, you can share passwords but if you are using other things, it's best if you both have seperate ones because down the track, you might det divorced and it'll be hard to deal with Passwords.

## Post 9 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Thursday, 20-Sep-2012 11:27:35

I will add to this that if the reason for giving out the password is so they can help fix an issue on your account for you, just enter the password yourself, and then give them control of the keyboard from there. You never know what people will do in the face of anger/other break-up related emotions they might not otherwise do. As far as the trust issues are concerned, I completely agree with Chelsea and others. If you're asking me to give you this information because you don't trust me, we've got much bigger issues than the password.

## Post 10 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Thursday, 20-Sep-2012 11:39:57

What a breath of fresh air. Everyone is making some sense on this topic!
This is way older than online. I look at online information just like paper mail: it's rude to open someone else's mail. I would never read my wife's emails and the like.
Because I am the account administrator for their computer I have learned their passwords over the years, though with an I.T. background I'm usually pain n the ass enough to make them come over and enter theirs before changing something specific to their account that I can't do through the admin settings.
My personal experience has shown that the chicks have a harder time with staying out of other people's stuff than the guys do. Maybe it's because as boys if you cross that line you might get beat.
Oh, and speaking of being beat, any of you teenage types who thinks it's cute to give your Facebook or Myspace password to your friends, I'm comin' over there and gonna beat you with a stick!
Seriously, sounds like most people men and women on this topic are making sense.
Seriously: the more things change, the more they stay the same. Treat your online information like you would your mail. And remember that most compromises of identity and personal information are done on paper, and most by people you think you know. Usually the nosey busybody biddy hen starts it off by shuffling through things, then "lets it slip" to someon else, who does it to someone else and pretty soon someone has enough bits and pieces of info to use against you, or get access to your money or reputation.
Nothing's changed, and theft by paper is still the worst, and that always happens when people can't keep their noses where they belong and go shuffling through papers that don't belong to them.

## Post 11 by forereel (Just posting.) on Thursday, 20-Sep-2012 17:08:51

Yes I have experience that anger part. Smiile. Got in to my stuff and made my life difficult. Used my trust and blindness to do it. So now I keep it from anyone.

## Post 12 by write away (The Zone's Blunt Object) on Thursday, 20-Sep-2012 20:41:03

Oh my goodness. I wish this topic had existed when I was dumb and young. When I was dating a certain guy I thought I was really into. I was about seventeen and he was a major manipulator (with a host of other mental problems I had no idea about at the time, as it turns out), and he convinced me that if I outright refused to share with him my passwords to email, instant messenger, voice mail and whatever else, that I didn't really trust him and didn't really want to be with him. I didn't feel comfortable at all, but in the end I'd always give in for one reason or another--he was good with technology so he'd end up helping me with one thing or another, and he convinced me that it was perfectly normal for him to have my passwords, and that if I changed them, I didn't trust him. Stupid me, I allowed myself to be manipulated by that, and later I had problems. many problems. he accessed my voice mail and my email after we broke up, deleted important messages and correspondence, even tried to screw up my relationships after the one with him, because he was one step ahead of me technologically speaking, even if I did change my passwords. He also insisted that we share an SA Mobile account through serotek, and because of that, he had remote access to my computer. he'd randomly shut down my computer during my class if I wasn't paying attention to him... There was way more crap involved, but you get the basic gist of it. I'm just scratching the surface of all the crud that made up the nightmarish involvement.
My point is that I was stupid and naive at one time, allowed myself to be manipulated like nobody's business, and I paid for it tenfold. I couldnt' shake this for years, but now that it's all over I have to reiterate that you dont' share passwords. Especially if you trust someone. Why would you need to access someones email or vice versa if you trust each other? That's what I allowed myself to get caught up in, I didn't stick to my gut and my brains. Even smart people get sidetracked by psychos and idiots.
I'm in a very healthy relationship now, I live with the guy and we share a child. We share just about everything--except passwords. he doesn't know mine and I dont' know his. We own a bookshare account together so that's the one password we share, but beyond that, no way.

## Post 13 by roxtar (move over school!) on Friday, 21-Sep-2012 0:16:50

I dunno.
I'd never give a friend, even a close friend, hell, even my best friend my passwords. That said, my wife does have a few of my passwords. It's just a convenience of marriage sometimes that i want her to look something up on the computer if she's on it or i'm not. We don't go read each others stuff behind the other's backs or anything, but sometimes when your married and you've lived with somebody for a long time, it's just convenient to share things to a certain degree. And rememmber before you all post angry replies, i'd never give my password to anybody else, I'm just throwing this out there.

## Post 14 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Friday, 21-Sep-2012 8:24:29

Well, whether we agree or not, whether or not you give your passwords to someone is at your own risk. and if you honestly feel comfortable with it, who am I to knoc it? I don't want to be the pecemistic type who's always asking what would happen if we broke up, but you can never be too careful, in my opinion. I find the moment you become absolutely sure that nothing will go wrong is when things really do.

## Post 15 by starfly (99956) on Friday, 21-Sep-2012 8:56:01

My wife has my netflix password, outside of that she does not need to get into any thing else that is mine. I have nothing to hide at this point and my e-mail inbox would boar her to teers. Okay with that said, though your married, I believe in a little privacy between the two partners. heck she does not even have my mariani password and I would not even give that to my wife because of temptation and the fact it would piss off the hosts.

## Post 16 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Friday, 21-Sep-2012 10:51:55

I wouldn't expet my GF to give meher password and, as highly as I think of her I wouldn't give her mine. I'm surprised my last gf never asked me for my password given how insecure she was. She would read my new texts if she saw I had any while she happened to be playing with my IPhone. This was right after I got it when I was as interested as she was in playing with it and learning how to use it. But Maria would grab it and start playing with it anytime I didn't seem to be urgetly needing to use it. And if I got upset with her for reading my messages she would assume I was cheating on her. And when I pointed out to her that she would probably have gotten angry at me for doing the same thing her response was you can't because my phone's not blind friendly.

## Post 17 by Remy (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 21-Sep-2012 11:16:31

I've had some rather unfortunate experience with this also. About eight years ago I experienced more or less the same trouble with a girl as Writeaway. We were dating, and it was a distance relationship. She had major trust issues, and she spoke to people who made her trust me less. I felt really insulted. The strange thing was that her mistrust made me feel a lot less loyal to her, and in the end I sadly turned out to be some of the things she feared I'd be.
I've grown up considerably since then. I agree with everyone on here that some measure of privacy in even a strong relationship should be acceptable. My wife and I have our own private existences to a point. We understand that there's nothing wrong with that. We have both, however had cause to provide each other our passwords to email and facebook and the like, but neither of us makes a habbit of checking up on each other. It seemed natural to both of us, but the fact doesn't hang over our heads. Sure we could change our passwords, but neither of us seem to find the inclanation. I think this issue really comes down to the couple. While privacy is one matter, secrecy, especially dark secrecy is something entirely different. The worst thing ever is for someone you trust to find something out about you that you've kept hidden from them which breaks trust.

## Post 18 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Friday, 21-Sep-2012 13:32:25

I personally don't think giving, or not giving, your partner your password has anything to do with having anything to hide or not. if you suspect the other person does have something to hide, there are much more affective ways to handle this than to ask for their password, in my opinion.

## Post 19 by write away (The Zone's Blunt Object) on Friday, 21-Sep-2012 13:59:27

I would never even think to ask my boyfriend for his password to anything--even if I had cause to distrust him. That just screams insecurity. Why would I want to let on that i am insecure in anyway? That just creates tension in a reltionship--it can most definitely lead to an inevitable demise.

## Post 20 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Friday, 21-Sep-2012 14:02:28

Agreed with the last poster. THen after my last real GF there was a woman I broke up with three years ago because se was in an abusive relationship and while se kept going on about wanting to get out she didn't bother getting help or anything. Well by chance we reconnected on Facebook and I found out she got out of that relationship and got married to another guy. Well she was divorcing that guy because she has a teenage daughter for whom he began developing sexual feelings. Well said woman said se had no reason to hide anymore so se wanted an honest chance with me. Well I was willing to give her that since to be fair we didn't really get to spend that much time together during our last "relationship." I did tell her, however, that for things to work out this time there needed to be some major changes in how often we communicated and yes, spent time together. She agreed, but then started making all kinds of excuses whenever I said I wanted to see her. And even when she would appear to take the initiative and set a time and date for us to get together something would always come up. But rather than call or text me to let me know she practically ignored me, then got upset when I got upset that she didn't show up or let me know she wasn't going to. Apparently it was my responsibility to call and find out if/when she was coming, yet whenI did I was lucky to get a response. Then she kept going on about how she wasn't sure where we stood, to which I could relate only too easily. She also had majjor insecurity issues despite claiming the opposite. TO give an example I hung out with a "friend" I've known for about nine years, ever since she was about fifteen. Now I have never been romantically interested in this girl and would be beyond shocked if I ever learned that she'd ever been even remotely interested in me in that way. But we did hang out and watch movies together a couple times, if you could call it that since watching a movie with Lindsey is more an exercise of patience than anything else since she doesn't shut up for you to hear the movie. Well a couple days later Lindsey posted on my Facebook wall, a perfectly innocent remark abouthow she enjoyed hanging out with me and watching movies. Well not long after I see that a friend of mine whom I've known for about seven years has posted a status update about getting tired of relationships. Well then Angel, this would-be girlfriend of mine, comments that she knows how Jessi feels since she thought she'd found Mr. Right but then sawa post from another girl on his wall saying how she enjoyed hanging out. She assumed basically that I'd found someone else more available to be with, and believe me, I was very tempted to do just that. But at the time I too wanted an honest chance with Angel, so I would never have allowed a hangout with another girl to go that far. Well when I guessed to Angel that I was the one she was talking about and she confirmed it, I told her in no uncertain terms what happened and that she'd had nothing to worry about. Her response was that she believes in one girl one guy, which I also believe wen it comes to committed relationships. The irony is that Angel actally did flirt, and publically I might add, with another guy on Facebook and possibly more than one. Well when I pointed that out to her her response was that she was getting their hopes up so she could pull the rug out from under them later by saying she was with me. But se has a habit of telling me to do one thing or not to do it, then not telling me later when she changes her mind. So when she told me not to make any hints that we were togetherI was a little suspicious but did as she asked while I watched her public communications. Well later I expressed my concerns about where things were going and she told me I should stand up for us. I reminded her that it was she who asked me not to do just that a while back. She said she changed her mind. Of course I reminded her that she neglected to inform me of that fact. Then a whhile later I wentto her page to message her and I saw she was in a relationship with someone. It actually listed a name and linked to a page, whereas before it just said in a relationship. I need hardly point out that that made me angry since she went on about her phone not allowing her to confirm the relationship request I'd sent her months ago at her own invitation. Again she said she didn't know where we stood, so she just hooked up with this other guy. So I don't doubt she would have tried to get my passwords

## Post 21 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Friday, 21-Sep-2012 14:29:53

even if I was married, under no circumstances would I give any passwords to my spouse.
seriously, if you need to "check up" on each other in that way as some say, can you honestly claim you trust one another fully?
I don't get that; anyone else with me?
I'm not talking about a joint account, either. if you share Bookshare, or something else, that's one thing. but, to say, "I'll give you personal passwords so you can check up on me from time to time", is absolutely ludicrous.

## Post 22 by Runner229 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 21-Sep-2012 15:32:41

I agree with you Chelsea. If you should catch your partner doing something, it will more than likely come out one way or the other regardless of whether or not you have the password to an account of his/hers.

## Post 23 by write away (The Zone's Blunt Object) on Saturday, 22-Sep-2012 0:00:03

HappyHeart, I completely agree. that was my point in my earlier posts.

## Post 24 by Carolina Rose (It's not over until I've had my say) on Sunday, 23-Sep-2012 18:19:20

I would never give my boyfriend my password. There's no need, because I do nothing that is wrong. If he should ask then that shows that there is no trust there. My ex offered to give me his skype, twitter, e-mail, and FB password. I declined his offer. This is not something I believe in.

## Post 25 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Monday, 24-Sep-2012 20:00:03

I have enough trouble remembering my own passwords so I would never ask for Sandra's. Nor would I give her mine, even if we ended up getting married. I agree. If you have to check up on each other in that way you probably shouldn't be together in the first place.

## Post 26 by starfly (99956) on Tuesday, 25-Sep-2012 14:36:53

If it snows in haties, rains fire in heaven there is a few passwords I aint given out at all. One is my mariani password, oh, can you think of the crap that would fly with the host not to mintion all the work I have done on that game. My email, no, flat out know.

## Post 27 by Dave_H (the boringest guy you'll ever know) on Tuesday, 25-Sep-2012 18:24:52

I don't have his passwords; he doesn't have my passwords; we like it that way. We have joint on-line presence.

## Post 28 by Dolce Eleganza (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Thursday, 21-Mar-2013 3:46:30

No, I wouldn't even ask him for his password as it is an unnecessary act of insicuritty

## Post 29 by loves animals (This site is so "educational") on Monday, 24-Jun-2013 7:15:30

i agree that it isn't a good idea to give out your passwords to some one else and i learnt the hard way, i gave mine out to a guy i was going out with and when we broke up he decided to go into things and change things around but in the end i changed my password and didn't have any more trouble after that, smiles

## Post 30 by Brooke (I just keep on posting!) on Monday, 24-Jun-2013 10:56:04

Definitely not! There's no reason for anyone other than me to have access to my email, Facebook, or anything on a personal level. Joint accounts are obviously different; they're set up with the understanding they'll be shared.

## Post 31 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Tuesday, 25-Jun-2013 0:14:25

Yes certainly agree with Chelsea and others; if you feel you need to ask for your partner's password, there must be something further going on to worry about.
On a side note, i've come such a long way; I use to be an extremely jealous person and freak out that my bf was hanging out and talking to girls, but now I'm totally not; this took years mind you to overcome but now I'm there and I'm happy. yeah to me. :)

## Post 32 by Shepherdwolf (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Tuesday, 25-Jun-2013 8:29:56

Old topic that's been revived, but there ya go.
I'm with the majority here when I say that to require someone's passwords is...kinda bad.
However, BlindGuardian made a decent point, and I don't think there's anything really wrong with that. If my partner and I should decide to share passwords purely because we can, it bespeaks no insecurity, particularly if it is prompted by something like one of us needing to do something for the other.
I've been with my partner for a year and a half. We've shared a lot. I wouldn't start asking her for email passwords and the like though, as that's frankly none of my business. She wouldn't ask me either, and that's one among many reasons we're working. Trust.

## Post 33 by Meglet (I just keep on posting!) on Tuesday, 25-Jun-2013 8:52:29

Actually, Shepherdwolf, I've changed my mind. My password to everything is "IHaveIssues123". What's yours? ;)
Seriously though, if you're going to require a partner's password, have a damn good reason for doing so and don't be surprised or upset if they deny you simply because they want to keep things private. It doesn't have to mean they're secretly cheating on you or anything.

## Post 34 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Tuesday, 25-Jun-2013 23:02:26

I would never give out a password. That's just crazy.

## Post 35 by Thunderstorm (HotIndian!) on Wednesday, 26-Jun-2013 10:50:29

I feel sharing the password to someone is similar to sharing your signed blank checkbook. So unless if I'm very very much confidence that she will never go in any circumstances, and if that is badly needed, I may consider it. otherwise, noooooo, I say.
Raaj

## Post 36 by Westcoastcdngrl (move over school!) on Thursday, 11-Jul-2013 16:31:38

I've got some of Ed's passwords, but it's just for stuff that we share, like the online grocery shopping account.
He could, if he wanted, get into my gmail and FaceBook accounts as I have my browser remember the passwords for me because I'm too lazy to try to remember them.
In regards to banking, we both have separate passwords and neither of us knows the other's password. For practicality sake, I know the PIN for one of his debt cards but beyond that, we lead separate lives as far as that goes.
This suits us fine, as neither of us has anything to hide from each other.

## Post 37 by Ed_G (Zone BBS is my Life) on Thursday, 11-Jul-2013 17:44:54

I haven't needed to ask my wife for her passwords ever since I put that keylogging software on her computer. Oops, did I say that out loud? Smile.

## Post 38 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Thursday, 11-Jul-2013 17:45:51

I can see that. She asks for mine to get onto my Facebook sometimes, since she doesn't want a facebook but sometimes wants to look in on people and their activities that I have on the friends list but rarely pay attention to. Even then it's not real often though.

## Post 39 by CrazyMusician (If I don't post to your topic, it's cuz I don't give a rip about it!) on Saturday, 13-Jul-2013 11:02:41

Same here. I have m husband's password for facebook (or my computer does) for just such instances. When our basement flooded two weeks ago and he was without both a phone and computer, he asked me to log on for him and let his (our) friends know that he was not available.
Beyond that, I think we know each other's email passwords, but have never had occasion to use them outside of each other's presence.

## Post 40 by Dave_H (the boringest guy you'll ever know) on Tuesday, 16-Jul-2013 16:10:54

The partner and I are mutual facebook friends and twitter followers, but I do not know his passwords; he told me, and I forgot, having never used them. Cracking mine is left as an exercise for the student. Regarding poster #37, LOL! Your secret is safe wtih me.

## Post 41 by loves animals (This site is so "educational") on Monday, 29-Jul-2013 8:10:45

cool and that is nice that you are able to do that and yeah be interesting to see how the student manages with it, lol, smiles.

## Post 42 by changedheart421 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 29-Jul-2013 21:11:44

I am a Christian so of course I will prob be the outcast but I see no prob with sharing all passwords and accounts with the hubby. Where I come from, nothing is private between husband and wife. Now I do know of a lot of friend's who feel the need to buy love and or give money and bank info to partners they only have known for a week or 2 and this in my eyes is a lack of good judgement.

## Post 43 by dissonance (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Tuesday, 30-Jul-2013 2:03:10

If I were to have read this four years ago, I would have said absolutely, not that they should, but that there's no reason they shouldn't. Obviously if one is helping the other with something, this stuff can become necessary, but if the one I'm with were to ask for my password "just in case" or "to make sure nothing is going on," I the answer would be absolutely negative, and I'd reevaluate what kind of trust or lack there of upon which we were building this relationship.

## Post 44 by forereel (Just posting.) on Tuesday, 30-Jul-2013 13:58:50

Exactly. Smile.

## Post 45 by loves animals (This site is so "educational") on Wednesday, 31-Jul-2013 8:05:10

yes though I believe it is more to do with trust rather than reasons due to religion as you had put but still its another way of looking at it which an't bad, smiles.

## Post 46 by softy5310 (Fuzzy's best angel) on Saturday, 17-Aug-2013 2:20:54

I don't mind giving a password or two to people I trust. For instance, my best friend and I are members of a site where we buy and download karaokes. Sometimes, she wants some of my songs and I want some of hers. We've both legally bought the songs from the site, so we have a right to share them. We've been best friends for 16 years and we're not around each other all that much anymore, since we're both working now. As a result, it would be hard for us to always enter the password for the other person. Sometimes, we want to go look at and download songs the other person has purchased, without having to constantlly email songs back and forth. So, I know linda's password for the site and she knows mine. I am more advanced in some ways than Linda, technology wise, so occasionally, I've logged inot her email account, at her request, to help her with things. We would both never access each others accounts of any sort, without permission.
My ex and I also knew each others' passwords. Sometimes, it was just easier, as was stated above by someone. If we were on the computer at different times, i could ask him to check on something for me and he could do the same for me. After things ended with us though, I changed most of my passwords. I know however, that he'd never access my accounts. So, my view on the password thing is if you want to share passwords, I don't see much wrong with it, so long as it's someone you'd trust with your life and someone who is not pressuring you into it.
Just my two cents,
Dawnielle

## Post 47 by Runner229 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 25-Feb-2014 16:33:49

Apparently we are many steps ahead of the News. This is now a question they are supposedly going to discuss tonight. Lol

## Post 48 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Tuesday, 25-Feb-2014 16:49:06

Now the Chick has her own mac, she and the daughter each have their own macs. So, no need for admin duties from ol' Leo, so Leo knows nothing of either of their macs. Plus, now She has a Fakebook, and I use mine considerably less, so less of a need even then.
Recently She gave me the password to the health insurance website which She has mainly done the stuff with them, but still. Your bank should let you individually set up accounts and passwords.
Jldiaz, She is a committed Christian and very spiritual but does not take it like you, saying one cannot have any private space. If She wants to know something She definitely asks / finds out. But I'm not sure the view you have on passwords and being a Christian is universal. Also Alicia / SisterDawn and Kate / CrazyMusician both are and they don't share your view either. So it must be one interpretation only that would dictate this.

## Post 49 by Mad dog (Hammer headed knock knock) on Tuesday, 15-Jul-2014 15:59:43

It has to be sed, I agree hole heartedly with changedheart421. If you're in a commited relationship, Then there should be no seecrets between each other. Ok, I agree with the mony part, In this instance your password or pin is your bizzness. But As for social networking, private lock boxes, facebook, FB, twitter, Skype, Anything like that, If one partner asks, the other person gives. If not, Then There's obviously something they want to hide. Now, People may argue that this is just my paranoier talking, And maybe it is. But my personal opinion is the basis of, What's yours is mine, What's mine is yours. if I was still in a committed relationship, I'd have no problem giving out any of my passwords. The reason for this is I have nothing to hide. If my lady told me she had trust ishues and she just wanted to check my stuff for her own pece of mind, I'd let her. I have nothing to hide, And even if she didn't check my things, I'd still leave the offer open to her if she so desired. I suppose This is because I care about my lady's feelings, and I care about the relationship. If she didn't want to show me her passwords, and let me into her social networking sights, But Would sooner have me open mine up to her, Then there's obviously something she wants to hide.

## Post 50 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Tuesday, 15-Jul-2014 17:31:10

But if She doesn't like your changing religious persuasions or lack thereof, and might be very uncomfortable reding from certain forums where you express opinions on issues tht are very close to Her, wouldn't you simply just not go there with Her?
It's not always cheating or acting out sexually that causes problems.
Since She has a Facebook, for instance, I now keep from posting any atheistic comments on there. I have not posted true anti-theistic rants there, but any challenge to orthodox theology is a challenge to many theists. The same could be said if you were with a vegan, maybe you were on the fence about it, and then you decided veganism is not for you at all. You wouldn't put similar material into her space where she could become offended. It's very often not t all about sex. People of any orthodox persuasion, religious, PETA, what have you, take it very personally when others operate outside the single dimensionality that is theirs.
There are real scientific explanations for why this happens: it's not actually them being 'haters'. Orthodox persuasions of any kind tend to stimulate the centers in the brain that stunt rational development and cause "black-or-white" thinking.
If you are going through a set of changes that might upset your partner's orthodoxy -- or maybe have done so --, you will be discreet with how and what you share.
Again, it's far more often the issue has nothing to do with illicit relationships.
The Internet has done to modern knowledge monopolies what the Printing Press did to ancient ones.

## Post 51 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Wednesday, 16-Jul-2014 10:48:35

I agree with poster 49 that people should always be open with whoever they're with, with the exception of giving the person one's passwords, especially when it isn't a joint account of some sort that we're talking about.
each person should have privacy, when it comes to their email account, Facebook account, etc.
I trust my boyfriend with my life, and I don't feel either of us has the right to get into an account that wasn't, and isn't, ours, to begin with.

## Post 52 by forereel (Just posting.) on Wednesday, 16-Jul-2014 19:22:47

Again. Passwords I don't really care about.
A person, no matter how close has a right to some privacy.
If I feel she's cheating, having her passwords isn't going to make me feel differently.
If she should have strong feelings about something, like religion, I'd hope she felt close enough to me to tell me how she feels before the rest of the world knows.
People change, and that is what love is about.
If I am truly her best friend, I should be able to accept her changes with grace.
As long as these changes have nothing to do with her love, or giving to me, there not personal to me.
I'm also not providing passwords to any woman I don't live with period.
I have nothing at all to hide, but I also want to be able to read my emails before she does in the mornings, and order surprises for her and such things.

## Post 53 by Dolce Eleganza (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Thursday, 17-Jul-2014 3:28:38

I respect the opinions of those who choose to share their passwords with
spouses. I, however, believe that while there isn't anything for me to hide, my
SO doesn't have to know every secret/detail of my life. It's not even a trust
issue from my end, but if I have not given him any reason to want to know
"what is going on", I don't see why I should unless we both share something.
Also, while I believe that's not just about me, but "us", it's important to give
each other space.

## Post 54 by The Roman Battle Mask (Making great use of my Employer's time.) on Friday, 18-Jul-2014 14:17:57

I won't give out my passwords. If anyone ever got ahold of my spotify or netflix account the shame would be so great that I would never be able to date again.

## Post 55 by Flidais (WISEST IS SHE WHO KNOWS THAT SHE DOES NOT KNOW) on Friday, 18-Jul-2014 18:04:56

The only reason my partner and I share our passwords is if one of us is out and doesn't have access to the net and wants to look up something or find some bit of information say in an email or on a website, this usually revolves around me asking the bf to take care of my virtual pets because I won't have time that day or him asking me to make pics for him on his sports sites. So in those cases we share our password and usually forget it by the time we need something done again, but the agreement is we trust each other and don't use that time to go snooping because there's nothing we are nontrusting of. If you feel the need to snoop then there's obviously something unhealthy going on, whether that be your own insecurity or your paranoia brought on by tangible suspicions on your part which you are psyching yourself out about until you somehow find "proof" by snooping through password protected information.
I just don't see the point of handing stuff like that out just because you want to PROOVE you have nothing to hide. Just seems unhealthy/untrusting.

## Post 56 by write away (The Zone's Blunt Object) on Friday, 18-Jul-2014 22:18:56

Yeah. I used to subscribe to the idea that if I have nothing to hide I should share my password with my significant other.
But you know what? If you have trust issues, you aren't a healthy person to be in a relationship with anyway. I was with someone who asked for my passwords and I willingly gave them to him, believing we'd be in a longterm partnership and since he said what's his is mine, I should be able to reciprocate. Not so. I didnt' learn until after that relationship was over how unhealthy it is to share anything and everything with your partner to the point where neither have any private space of their own. Just because you're part of a couple doesn't mean you should sacrifice your individuality. In fact, it means the exact opposite. You cant' be a successful couple if the couple isnt' made up of two individuals. You have to have a modicum of privacy, yes, even online, in order to preserve some respect for yourself.
I'm in a relationship now where my partner and I have nothing to hide, but we dont' require each other's online credentials either. His ability to let my privacy remain my own is a sign of respect for me, and my lack of wanting to snoop in his private profiles is my sign of respect for him, and my way of trusting him. Deezal, you say that if your partner has trust issues, you'll readily give up your passwords because you have nothing to hide. Don't you think if your partner has trust issues, she's not ready for a relationship anyway? Dont' you think that you deserve to be with someone who doesnt' have those kind of trust issues, since a real and true relationship is mostly built on trust?
I say, if you need each other's password and you feel offended that yoru partner wont' oblige, you're probably not relationship material at the moment.
I'll agree that sometimes partners share passwords mutually because they want to help each other out, but to give your passwords away just on the basis of being a couple is cultishYou're not subscribing to a cult, for goodness sake. You're entering into a relationship where trust should be paramount. So yeah. password sharing for the sake of couplehood is one of the biggest red flags of unhealthy emotions out there.

## Post 57 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Saturday, 19-Jul-2014 11:46:42

Love what Meow said about forgetting the spouse's password after you helped them out.
That's how I roll personally.

## Post 58 by Omgrider (Veteran Zoner) on Thursday, 09-Oct-2014 2:44:44

No I wouldn't if I had a spouse.

## Post 59 by forereel (Just posting.) on Thursday, 09-Oct-2014 21:00:14

I help people as well, and promptly forget.
One lady I dated, I had to write them down, because she kept asking me to do this or that, and doesn't know them herself, so. Lol
I could really care less.

## Post 60 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Tuesday, 18-Nov-2014 18:05:04

Definitely not! I agree with the consences. The only time I would give a password to someone would =be in case of serious terminal illness close to death. There is a rather slight possibility, which may probably not happen to well in the future, as what I have is not quite serious enough. I would only reveal my facebook password, so that some of my friends could be informed of my critical condition. You never know, as I discovered. If there is a large chance, it may happen. I had a friend who was only inrather critical condition for half a week before she died.