# the 13 signs you have worthless health insurance company

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Wednesday, 05-Apr-2006 20:25:20

The Top 13 Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO
13> Its clever name? "Whatevercare."
12> Staff physicians include Dr. Who, Dr. Kevorkian and
Dr. Demento.
11> Anesthesia? Your choices: Whiskey, a bullet to bite on,
or a Louisville Slugger to the head.
10> Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters.
9> "Chemotherapy" machine looks suspiciously like a tanning bed.
8> You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the
instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in.
7> "Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?"
6> Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal
thermometers.
5> "Take two leeches and call me in the morning."
4> No X-ray machine, but each doctor is issued a pair of
"X-ray specs."
3> Tongue depressers taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
2> Covered post-natal care consists of leaving your baby on
Mia Farrow's doorstep.
And the number 1 sign you have cheap health insurance...
1> Radiation treatment for cancer patients requires them to
walk around with a postcard from Chernobyl in their pocket.

## Post 2 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Thursday, 06-Apr-2006 18:13:43

Hey, that was good. I think I got one of them things.