# farting joke

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Thursday, 24-Nov-2005 15:20:44

This is a story about an American couple who have been married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he woke up.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.
Every morning she would plead with him to stop as it was making her ill. He told her he couldn’t stop and anyway it was perfectly natural------She asked him to go and see a doctor she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her, she took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and gently pulled the bed covers back, then she pulled the elastic waist band of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband awaken with his usual trumpeting sound which was quickly followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About 20mins later her husband came down stairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face, she bit her lip and asked him what the matter was.
He said “Honey you were right. All these years you’ve warned me and I didn’t listen to you”
“What do you mean?” asked the wife
“Well you always told me I would one day end up farting my guts out, and today it’s finally happened.
But don’t worry by the grace of God and some Vaseline, I think I got most of it back in!!”