# Have Sex Or Make Love

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by Dusty (This site is so "educational") on Thursday, 10-May-2007 8:05:21

I was watching a repeat of Eddie Murphy's "Raw" the other day and this line came up: "We didn't fuck, we made love". This made me think about conversations I've had in the past, about whether there is a difference between making love and having sex/fucking.
In the discussions I have had, it has generally been women who believe that the two things are completely different, and that if you love somebody, you should call it "making love". My view is that whatever you call it it is the same thing, and what is important is the level of emotion or feeling you have for the person you're doing it with.
What do you think? Screw? Bang? Make the beast with two backs? Nail? Bone? Make sweet love? Root? ...

## Post 2 by Izzito (This site is so "educational") on Thursday, 10-May-2007 9:00:43

fuck

## Post 3 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 10-May-2007 9:05:25

I agree that it depends on the level of emotion involved. If there is no love, no tender feelings between the two people, then it is not making love.
But I also believe that sometimes two people who are in love can just "fuck" once in awhile. It doesn't always have to be so serious.

## Post 4 by Resonant (Find me alive.) on Thursday, 10-May-2007 9:30:37

Hmmm. I've never been fond of the term, make love, for no reason that I can really put my finger on. It just seems a bit, insipid?
As for the two things being completely different, I don't buy that either. I think there's sex. Good sex, bad sex, explosive sex, awkward, disconnected sex, deep meaningful and emotionally committed sex. There's the sex where you swear you feel your two souls join and the sex where you absently wonder what's on the telly and remind yourself that you need to buy more orange juice. I think you can have all these with one person, I think that your sex-life probably is indicative of the depth of your relationship, and I think that it can't possibly be as black and white as that.
And I think that my dial up is booting me off, so I don't get to round off this point.....

## Post 5 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Thursday, 10-May-2007 10:52:52

It is about the level of emotion, but that just means that these different words discribe that level of emotion. Nothing different to other things in life really. I guess more is made of the distinction than maybe necesary, but I still like the terms as indication of feeling rather than taking time to analyse it all.
But it's also then about understanding between 2 people, if you're in a long term relationship and you have the kind of sex best discribed as a fuck, you need to know that if you state such a feeling that your partner isn't going to get all hurt by it, so again communicate with your partner so that if such things come up, you both understand the other well enough.

## Post 6 by maroon five (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Saturday, 12-May-2007 6:14:11

I think that if your really in love with each other, and it's done right, it's called making love. If you just want a one night stand, then call it what it is, fucking. Same with, if your "friends with benifits".

## Post 7 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Saturday, 12-May-2007 7:25:37

I agree with whoever said that two people in love can have a fuck once in a while. It's the same thing, but different levels of emotion catigorize what kind of sex it is.

## Post 8 by Dusty (This site is so "educational") on Saturday, 12-May-2007 8:42:44

But LibraLady you're not agreeing with me. You said that making love is only possible if deep enough feelings exist. I said that's not the case. If "making love" is defined as the tender, more gentle and genteel end of the scale them its perfectly possibale to have this with a one-nighter or friend. All it takes is communication ...

## Post 9 by maroon five (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 15-May-2007 8:00:13

o...k! let's break this down. you can be in a loving caring relationship, get horney once in a while, and fuck each other for some releaf. Sounds rather sexy and fun to me! on the other special times, you can then call it "making love".

## Post 10 by forereel (Just posting.) on Tuesday, 15-May-2007 11:28:06

How about this twist on the subject. The "making love" is all the things done befor you get to the "fucking" meaning the dinner, the conversation leading up to it, the gentle kissing and touching, the time put in basicly is what I mean. Now if your just fucking then you just know you both want it, get to it now period, not romancing beforehand. Your feelings for the person doesn't have anything to do with it. You can as was said before have a "fuck" with someone your really into, and "make love" with that one night stand.

## Post 11 by guitargod1 (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 15-May-2007 23:23:01

Yeah, it really depends on mood as much as anything else. Whether you're going out, or in love, etc, or not, you can make love if you're in a romantic mood. or, if you're both really horny, you can fuck. It's not what you're doing but how you're doing it and how you both feel that make it one or the other and even if people aren't going out or actually in love, they could still make love in my opinion.

## Post 12 by frequency (the music man) on Wednesday, 16-May-2007 2:06:40

personally, i don't like the use of the word fuck in that situation. having wild sex, or banging is all right though. Just my opinion.

## Post 13 by EssenceOfFaith (The Creamy Apple) on Wednesday, 16-May-2007 8:14:30

I don't think you have to be in a relationship to make love. If you have a one-nighter with a friend you really feel for, it can be thought of as making love if deep emotion is exchanged between the two of you. I also like what Erin said about there being many different types of sex. I can see where she's coming from, although that's not the type of philosophy i live by. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that boy or girl, relationship or friends, it's all about what you feel. If you feel you were making love rather than having sex because it's what your body and mind wants, then you were. We all define what making love or having sex is in our own minds, and it's up to the individual to make that distinction.

## Post 14 by jessmonsilva (Taking over the boards, one topic at a time.) on Wednesday, 16-May-2007 8:34:25

so what if you're romantic and horney? Is it then called fucking love? Or making fuck?

## Post 15 by Heavy Metal Girl 85 (Zone BBS is my Life) on Wednesday, 16-May-2007 17:44:58

I agree with Queen Lionesss Liz, and yes it depends on the emotions involved. For me, I'm not into the friends with bennifits thing, because feelings are involved here and someone will end up getting attached to the person or hurt in the end. If two people are truely in love then I call it making love, if it's a one night stand or something like that then it's a screw or a fuck. I personally hate the tern lay, screw fuck or bang when it comes to describing sex, sex is a wonderful and beautiful thing, that shouldn't be treated like something that it's ok to have with two friends who arent' in love or just any two people who don't even know each other and they just do it to satisfy themselves. I think it's better to have sex or make love when the two people really care/ love one another or have very very strong feelings for each other.

## Post 16 by changedheart421 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Wednesday, 16-May-2007 17:47:51

I agree with guitar god 1non this topic. it depends on the mood.

## Post 17 by cattleya (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Thursday, 17-May-2007 2:10:38

Here here. Just depends on the mood and what the modivation is. I'm married, and very happily...But sometimes we just fuck for the physical release and sometimes we make love for the emotion.

## Post 18 by EssenceOfFaith (The Creamy Apple) on Thursday, 17-May-2007 3:40:02

I wasn't saying that the whole friends with benefits thing is a great idea by any means. I'm simply saying that in some friends with benefits cases, feelings of love can be exchanged. If you're romantic and horny, still called making love. That was funny though.

## Post 19 by The Giggling Cowboy (Veteran Zoner) on Thursday, 17-May-2007 9:30:12

Okay, I am not *I REPEAT NOT* criticizing, just clarifying when I ask this, but how does that whole "friends with benefits" thing work? I guess I don't understand, but I am curious...I had better be...curiosity makes a good reporter. LOL!

## Post 20 by EssenceOfFaith (The Creamy Apple) on Thursday, 17-May-2007 14:44:08

Friends with benefits is when you're friends that have sex or mess around and aren't in a relationship with the person you're doing stuff with. The benefits imply the messing around part.

## Post 21 by OjosDeMiCorazon (That's how I roll!) on Thursday, 17-May-2007 16:10:55

friends with benifits is when you're able to detach yourself from emotions in order to be sexual with each other.

## Post 22 by Liz (The Original) on Thursday, 17-May-2007 20:49:23

I'm not into one-night stands or friends with benefits really. I view sex as an act between people in love. As for labeling it "in love," "screwing," "banging," "fucking" etc, I'm not much for the negative-connotative words... Saying "fuck," to me, rouses feelins of just doing it for the hell of it, not really liking the person, quick fix, things like that. Same with "screw" and "bang." I guess another problem for me is that the relationship, at least in my view, has to be on a very deep level of connectedness towards the person for me to engage in such behavior. I can't just do it for the heck of it. Also, sex isn't everything. The connection/personality/etc has to come first for me, and then the sex. Now that I've said probably more than you ever wanted to know, or that I ever probably wanted you to know...

## Post 23 by OrangeDolphinSpirit (Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?) on Friday, 18-May-2007 19:47:32

I don't really have much to add to this, but I had to say that I especially liked what forereel said. Making love is everything leading up to the fucking. You make love when you want to take your time and make it last, and when you just fuck, you want to get it done right then and there.