# Jokes and Such. Probably Offensive considering the poster

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by The Sensible Millennial (I'll stop correcting you when you stop being wrong.) on Monday, 04-Apr-2011 21:35:05

Q: How can you spot the blind guy in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard at all, trust me.
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs,
blowjob?
A: The blowjob. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your
meat; but you just can't beat a blowjob.
Q: What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
A: If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
A Catholic couple is about to get married, and the woman sits the man down for a heart-to-heart the day before the wedding. She says, "Honey, before we do this, I have something I need to get off my chest. You see, a few years back, my family was very poor, and for a while I had to work as a prostitute."
The man leaps out of his chair and shouts, "Oh no, absolutely not! I can't get married to you!"
The woman starts crying, and begs him to forgive her, "Please don't leave me - surely you can live with a woman who used to be a bit of a whore..."
The man sits down and says, "Oh, that's fine. For a minute I thought you said Protestant."
So, my girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies."
So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.
I guess we don't watch the same movies.
My last girlfriend called me a pedophile. Pretty big word for a 12-year-old.
I used to be a necrophile, until some rotten cunt split on me.
I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other night. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger.
Abortion, it brings out the kid in you
Okay, that's enough of those. Let's try something else.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they.
I went to see the nurse this morning for my annual check-up. She said I had to stop masterbating. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"
Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."
A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and walks into his parents room and sees them having sex. The little boy, traumatized, runs out of the room crying. "You should go check on him, thats really going to be something you need to explain," said the mother. The father laughed it off with a traditional "he will get over it," and continued to chuckle about the whole situation.
After some additional prodding from the mother the father agrees to go talk to the little boy. As he is walking down the hallway to his sons room he hears an empty thumping sound coming from his sons room. Thump - Thump - squish - Thump- Thump The father, very confused, slams the door open and sees his son balls deep, pounding the shit out of his grandmothers asshole. Just really going to town on it.
The father screams "What the hell are you doing?" The boy replies, "It's not so funny when its your mom, is it?"
You're laughing, admit it. I will see you all in hell.

## Post 2 by CrazyCapricorn (I lost my conscience! Anyone seen it?) on Tuesday, 05-Apr-2011 19:57:54

lmao! Where the hell do you come up with all this stuff?

## Post 3 by The Sensible Millennial (I'll stop correcting you when you stop being wrong.) on Friday, 08-Apr-2011 11:43:04

It's the internet, Faceness. Depravity is always at your fingertips.