# How to make sure you're understood

Category: Language and Culture

## Post 1 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Wednesday, 19-Sep-2007 10:22:48

If you are in a foreign country and you meet someone who does not speak your language (how dare they!) a strict adherence to the following will always ensure
you are understood and respected:
1) Speak at your normal speed but in an incoherent mumble
2) If that doesn't work, raise your voice and speak... very... slowly
3) If that doesn't work, SHOUT and speak even slower
4) If that doesn't work and the person is still within 10 ft, employ vigorous but unclear hand gestures. ("Where is the nearest toilet?" is the best phrase
to be communicated this way.)
5) If this doesn't work, SHOUT, talk slowly, use vigorous hand gestures and begin stamping.
6) If that doesn't work, curse the person for not spending their enitre life dedicated to the study of English.
DO NOT AT ANY POINT:
Buy a phrase book and attempt to learn some basics
Study any language but English
Employ an interpreter or
STAY HOME until you can be trusted not to offend the 2/3 of the planet that don't speak English!

## Post 2 by Selena Fan (Account disabled) on Thursday, 20-Sep-2007 1:37:00

Lol Loui this was funny. I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for the laugh.

## Post 3 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Thursday, 20-Sep-2007 2:55:05

It wasn't just meant as a laugh, but hey.

## Post 4 by Albanac (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Thursday, 20-Sep-2007 6:57:29

lol funny, but so true though. it's a shame too some languages out there are extremely interesting, and sometimes even beautiful.

## Post 5 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Thursday, 20-Sep-2007 7:25:55

absolutely. i'm about to start learning arabic.

## Post 6 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Friday, 21-Sep-2007 0:44:04

I'd like to learn Gaelic, but don't know when I'd ever use it.

## Post 7 by YankeeFanForLife! (Picapiedra: king of the boards!) on Friday, 21-Sep-2007 0:51:00

interesting

## Post 8 by Chicken Scratch (Account disabled) on Sunday, 06-Jul-2008 18:30:08

That was good. D: And true, yes.
And oh gosh. There are so many languages I'd like to learn ... Gaelic would be awesome, but not really too practical. I'm planning on learning German and Russian, though Russian wouldn't be the most practical either.
Still.