# Approaching women for intimacy!

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by forereel (Just posting.) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 3:05:45

I'm looking for answers from the Zone females, but you males may have you 2 cents if you must.
I've been approached for advice on how best to approach a female on a site like this for intimate reasons, so I am bringing this subject to the best source to answer that question the women on the Zone. What do you ladies say?
My opinion is that amale must first be seen on the public chats so you females can see what he's like and get to know him as a friend, or a person. Next, one of two things might happen, a lady might send a private note saying hi, or the male might do the same, but it is best that the note from the male be friendly and not a come on "I want sex do you?" The female might want an intimate relationship from the male, but doesn't want to be approached in that fashion first. If intimacy is going to happen it will after the friendship has developed. I don't count the public flirt as a real offer when it comes from a female, because sometimes that flirt is just fooling around and not serious right ladies?

## Post 2 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 7:08:13

I often flirt on public quicknotes, and you're right, at least in my case, I'm just joking around. As for how to get my attention and make me want to get to know you better, just start out with friendly conversation, not flirting. And take the time to read my profile first. Don't ask me questions that can easily be found in my profile. Finally, if a guy starts sending me private qn's and the first few questions are all about what I look like, my age, my thoughts on sexual matters, then I'm probably going to put you on ignore or at least tell you that I'm not interested. I know there are some women on the zone who are like me and that there are others who would probably come on to men just as strongly as some guys come on to women, but this is my point of view.

## Post 3 by nikos (English words from a Greek thinking brain) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 7:26:16

Interesting subject.
I am a man but unfortunately i have to say that some men on this site the only thing they care is to find a woman to pleas them.
Women seam more sensible and most of them they speak to us for a reason. For example they might say your audio profile is good, or they might ask me question about my brother and my sister etc.
Maybe i didn't have any strange conversations with any female because i state in my profile that i have a girlfriend. If i was single or if i didn't say anything maybe things would be different.
I get the very ocational quicknote where people will ask me for my msn without even reading my profile but nothing more than that.
But some men are very strange. I know it because mmy girlfriend is also a member. People asked her in the past to describe herself and other strange things. To describe i mean her body etc.
My most recent experience with strange men was once when i was using her acount because i wanted to check something about person watch and somebody send a quicknote saying that he liked her name. I replied and said i am her boyfriend and i would let her know that he spoke to her. And guess what? No more quicknotes lol.
Anyway i don't say all men are like that. I found very good men on this site with very interesting board posts on the boards and we have very good conversations on quicknotes sometimes.
My point was that in general women are more careful of how to aproach a man. Some Men make their intentions so obvious sometimes lol.

## Post 4 by nikos (English words from a Greek thinking brain) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 7:29:22

By the way i don't know what intimecy exactly means. So sorry if i didn't answer the original question or if i was out of the subject lol.

## Post 5 by forereel (Just posting.) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 8:15:24

Mikos, in this case I mean sexual, or BF/GF activities.

## Post 6 by nikos (English words from a Greek thinking brain) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 8:27:23

Thanks for explaining. Ok i wil try and answer the original question now.
If two people are single and one of them wants to aproac the other person reading the text profile and listening to the audio profile if any is a must. Not to see how hot they sound like but to find out about hobbies interests, education etc.
The conversation should start about these interests first. Any sexual subjects should be avoided at first in my oppinion.
If sex is the only thing they care about probaply they won't have long time together. They will get bored after a while and they won't have anything to talk about lol. That's how i see it.

## Post 7 by DancingAfterDark (I just keep on posting!) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 9:53:50

In my humble opinion, looking for intimacy on the Zone is not a wise idea. I'm not saying it's out of the question and that it will never happen, because there have been several examples to the contrary, but I don't think that should be a person's main goal. If it happens it happens, if not, too bad. Now I'll answer the original question.
I agree with Becky that it's extremely annoying when someone wants to get to know you and they don't read the profile first. They're there for a reason, and if you fill out a reasonable amount of information they should already know several things about you and could save some time and annoyance. Personally, I don't mind so much if sex is discussed early on, just not in a creepy way. There are some guys who want to talk about that and nothing else, and who do so in an inappropriate/offensive manner, and that's something for which you will be ignored by me (not with the ignore feature, though; I don't use that). But if it's in a joking, kind of flirting way, I don't mind it because I do that in public quicknotes anyway and that sort of thing just doesn't bother me. As I said, intimacy shouldn't be the main goal. Starting off with light conversation, just getting comfortable with one another and learning more about each other than what's in the profiles should happen first. And I agree with the original poster that observing the person in public quicknotes just in general chat is a good way of getting to know what sort of person they are and whether or not you're even interested in them.
Basically, just take things slowly, don't come on too strong or fast, get to know the person well and let them get to know you before trying to move to a more serious stage, and let things happen as they will. Too many people are too desperate, and as a result they act too quickly and too ... I dunno, over the top, I guess, and it tends to freak out and turn the other person off.

## Post 8 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 14:43:43

I agree with Nikos and Chelsea (hope I'm write about your first name Dancing after dark). Another good way to get to know someone is by reading board posts. I find that I agree with almost everything certain people say on the boards and disagree with almost everything certain other people say. Writing style and whether or not someone is a careful typist can also influence whether I want to chat with someone. But there seems to be a small percentage of zone members who read and post to the boards, so getting to know people this way can be limited. But board posts and public qn's in addition to reading profiles can help you find a starting point for a conversation.
I don't mind describing myself and flirting a bit on private qn's, but I don't want "How big are your boobs?" or "How much do you weigh" and other such questions to be the first questions some guy asks me. That's just plain rude and a good way to ensure I will not talk to you.

## Post 9 by The Roman Battle Mask (Making great use of my Employer's time.) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 17:46:36

Well I just ask the girls if they want to ride my magnifficent man rocket, and let it go from there.

## Post 10 by Mystikil queen (The one and only Dark Princess!) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 18:07:20

I have to agree here with Nikos, Chelsea and Buckeye fan.
I am also a female who doesn't mind flirting to a point in quik notes, but if a Male aproaches me in PQN I want to know who they are all about, like if you start of with what do you look like, how big are your breasts, I will ignore you.
I like to get to no someone first. And for some people that means a conversation or two, but it takes alot more then just a couple of conversations. I want to no what someone is all about first, then we can see where it goes from there. Only if I want it too. So my best advice is take it slow.
But that is my two sence on the topic.

## Post 11 by DancingAfterDark (I just keep on posting!) on Wednesday, 14-Mar-2007 19:17:27

Awww, that's a standard line with you, Jared? And here I thought I was special. I'm crushed. :P
And yes, Becky, you got it.

## Post 12 by Chris N (I just keep on posting!) on Thursday, 15-Mar-2007 11:20:20

lol Chelsea. You could also use quicknote history, though that will only give you quicknotes from the past couple weeks.

## Post 13 by Texas Shawn (The cute, cuddley, little furr ball) on Thursday, 15-Mar-2007 12:59:20

wow! I know exactly what I am going to ask becky the next time I see her on here!

## Post 14 by Wraith (Prince of Chaos) on Thursday, 15-Mar-2007 13:19:52

Impatience to pick the peaches prematurely will proffer but a pack of pits.
In other words: If you're meeting people with the express intent to find someone, you're approaching the situation from the wrong angle right from the start. If the first and last thing on your mind whilst talking to someone is a potential relationship, you've jumped too quickly into the pond before making sure it's not just a puddle.
The most rewarding relationships, in my opinion, are born of good friendships. If you can make friends of the individual in question before you make her a potential bedmate or even "boy/girlfriend," you'll find the end result probably a lot more palatable. Friends, even if things don't work out, can still relate. People who become toys before friends will be left with naught but vengeful feelings and melodramatic BS.
A home is not built by laying the roof first, lest it collapse upon the builder's head. A good home begins with a good foundation, and a good foundation starts from one good brick.
Take things in steps, if those steps should come. If you make friends but find you two aren't compatible as companions, you've still won a friend out of the deal. If you make a friend and find you two are compatible, then you've essentially gotten a combo meal!
Learn to walk before you learn to run.
Kai

## Post 15 by Grace (I've now got the ggold prolific poster award! wahoo! well done to me!) on Thursday, 15-Mar-2007 14:11:48

...well expressed Kai,
Connie

## Post 16 by nikos (English words from a Greek thinking brain) on Thursday, 15-Mar-2007 14:24:44

Very good Kay. Totally agree.

## Post 17 by JH_Radio (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Thursday, 15-Mar-2007 19:38:32

Well girls in general aren't horny sluts wanting sex, IE I think there is quite a bit of truth to be said when guys are more sex micheenes. Not all. Maybe it is a stereo type I dunno.
John

## Post 18 by forereel (Just posting.) on Thursday, 15-Mar-2007 23:17:57

Maybe I should post the other side of this as well and see what the guys think about being approached.
Thanks to all how've posted so far and these to come.

## Post 19 by maroon five (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 20-Mar-2007 16:20:44

I have to agree with most of the posters on here, if not all of them. I personaly don't like it when a guy sends me a pqn saying something about sex...it really is a creepy thing to get, specially when I have a boyfriend.

## Post 20 by maroon five (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 20-Mar-2007 16:46:17

Okay, so I met my boyfriend on here, so what? We're happy together, and that's all that matters. Now, back to the topic. I have to say, that I do flurt on publics with a few guys, but it's only joking around! and I don't mean any of it. So if a guy wants to get to kno me, the only thing I ask first, is that they read my profile, cause I've had a few instences where I've been asked questians that could be easily found answers to in their. Oh and guys, a few other things as well. First is, don't pqn me for the first time, and ask for my msn, or anything like that, cause you won't get it. Next is, if you want to get to kno me, you should go read my board postings as well. The last thing is, that remember that I do have a boyfriend, I will! put you on ignore if you start cracking onto me, or your rude to me. That's my 2 cents worth for this topic.

## Post 21 by changedheart421 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Wednesday, 21-Mar-2007 20:04:33

I personally do not do online dating. I find it impersonal and stressing.

## Post 22 by ladilov (Account disabled) on Thursday, 26-Jul-2007 19:25:59

Well, I think if you talk to them first even approaching in a sexual way... you just have to be careful not to offend... I agree if you read their bio first then you will have a feel for why they are here... and if there is not enough information then you can gently ask questions... You can simply ask them what type of relationship are they looking for... I am sure some people are married on this site and just maybe looking strickly for sex... and some single looking for a real relationship... so it depends... good luck...

## Post 23 by Nem (I just keep on posting!) on Friday, 27-Jul-2007 2:57:17

Yours truely has a problem with all this. If I were to approach a female from the perspective that what I wanted was to be intimate, why would I not just be up front about it? So, I take the time to get to know, then we have a bunch of conversations, then I start to as liz put it crack on to you, what are you as a woman left to think? Was it all a game if when you rebuff me I move on? A lot of our zone perves might have taken this angle, only to be rebuffed and moved on looking for their next perspective target. Word of course gets around and before our zone perve knows it, he is seen to be just that a pervert.
In my view if what one wants is to be intimate with another it is best to be up front and honest about it. dispense with the pretense and come straight to the point. Let the other person know up front that what you want is to talk about the size of their private parts and ask if they are interested in shareing that information. Why pretend to be interested in a person if what one is really interested in is what they are wearing under neith their clothes. It would save both parties a lot of heartache

## Post 24 by ItsAConspiraZ (This site is so "educational") on Thursday, 16-Aug-2007 16:00:59

Observe:
bitch, let's bounce to my bumpin' benz. Good. Now, just bend that big booty over so I can bang you from behind. What's that? You're gonna have my baby? &LT;Bam!>
Bueno?