# top 15 job hunting tips

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Wednesday, 25-Jul-2007 11:19:04

The Top 15 Job-Hunting Tips
15> Don't mention you only want the job to hold you over until
that Nigerian businessman's estate sends you your $27 million.
14> Writing "no permanent address" on the application form might
be counter-productive.
13> First impressions matter! Offer the recruiter a sip from your
juice box.
12> It's still considered bad form to list your parole officer or
bail bondsman as a personal reference.
11> Since most female executives are a little insecure, they
appreciate compliments on their breasts -- particularly if
you use really, really big words you learned in your online
college courses.
10> Never go job hunting with Dick Cheney.
9> Do not write your cover letter using a #2 pencil. Or a pointy
stick with #2 on the end of it.
8> Ixnay on the igpay atinlay, Esterchay.
7> During first interviews, limit usage of the phrase "So long
as Daddy gets his taste."
6> On a resume, it's considered poor form to mention the javelin
stuck in your back. However, before the interview, go ahead
and inquire about the dimensions of the elevators.
5> Speaking Klingon does not make you multilingual, geekboy.
4> During the interview, it's a good idea not to show *too* much
interest in the details of the drug testing program.
3> Don't show off your research by naming all the employees you
consider doable.
2> Leave your interviewer a thank-you card with a small gift
enclosed, such as a wallet-sized rectangular portrait of
Benjamin Franklin.
and the Number 1 Job-Hunting Tip...
1> Can't find a job opening? Meet people who have the kind
of job you want, then kill one.

## Post 2 by forereel (Just posting.) on Wednesday, 25-Jul-2007 12:05:37

Damn Becky. Thanks for this laugh.