# My Puppy

Category: Animal House

## Post 1 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Sunday, 20-Sep-2009 18:15:59

I have had one of the most excruciating weekends, and it may only get worse.
On Friday afternoon, I went to take my guide dog, Pierce, out to the bathroom, but as he was getting up, he slipped and fell. He couldn't get back up. He kept vomiting because of the pain and made a few attempts to get up, but he just couldn't do it.
A friend took us to the vet and the vet said that he was showing symptoms of a slipped disk or a pinched nerve. She ran blood test to see if there was some kind of underlying cause that she could find, but the blood work came back good. For his age, Pierce is in such good health. There was no indication of cancer, diabetes, kidney problems, etc.
So, the vet said that she wanted to keep him overnight so that they could give him steroids, which is what they give animals when it comes to slipped disks or pinched nerves.
But when I called Saturday morning to see how he was doing, the vet told me that he still couldn't stand. She said that he was eating, drinking and going to the bathroom, and there was no more vomiting, but he just can't stand.
She then told me that normally there would've been some kind of improvement, and since there wasn't, she said that there may be something going on up higher on his spine or in his brain, such as a lesion or tumor, that may or may not be operable. However, the only way to find out is for Pierce to get a scan. In order to get the scan that he needs, I would have to take him to the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, which isn't too far from me, but the vet told me that usually you don't get out of UT without paying at least $2000. $2000? I most certainly do not have that kind of money.
She said that she wanted to keep him over the weekend to continue the steroids and observation, and on Monday morning, she's going to call UT. She said that she's going to see if they have a special program for service animals. If not, then she said that the only other option I really have is to put him to sleep.
Oh my God. I am so devastated. Pierce and I have been together for more than twelve years. We grew up together. He's my best friend. My companion. My guiding light, in so many ways. I can't stop crying. I've cried so much my eyes hurt. It's just not right. A dog that is seemingly so healthy, and because of a damn fall, he may have to die. I cannot put into words how grief stricken I am. Pierce is everything to me. I sit here wanting to hear his tail thumping on the floor, or have him come up to me wanting to be petted. A huge part of me is missing. I'm trying so hard to find strength, but it just doesn't seem possible. I could never express what he means to me.
I don't even want to think of what's going to happen. I keep willing the phone to ring, and to have the vet on the other line telling me that Pierce has improved.
If nothing changes, I'm going to have to do the unthinkable. It kills me to think about it. When I go see him, I just know that he's going to be so happy to see me, but yet, I'm there to sign his death certificate. I feel like a murderer. How can I do this?
I'm terribly devastated. I wish I could do something. I love him. He's my everything.
The tears just keep coming. There's no subsiding. I feel sick. Why? Why? Why?

## Post 2 by Harmony (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 20-Sep-2009 18:48:37

I know what you mean, Leanne. I hope Pierce gets better.

## Post 3 by Daenerys Targaryen (Enjoying Life) on Sunday, 20-Sep-2009 20:45:40

Aww I love my guide dog too. He means so much to me. I've never had to have a pet put to sleep, but I would feel the same way as you if I did. At least you can remember all the good times you spent together, but since you still haven't heard anything there is still hope. I really hope he gets better.

## Post 4 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Sunday, 20-Sep-2009 22:18:14

Leanne, there is little if anything I could say which would be of comfort to you right now, so just know you're both in my thoughts, and that I really hope there will be good news soon.

## Post 5 by pebbles (the key to flying is falling and missing the ground.) on Monday, 21-Sep-2009 1:54:14

I also wanted to send my thoughts to you. There is nothing I can say to make this difficult time any easier for you but i am sorry. You both will be in my thoughts. hugs

## Post 6 by turricane (happiness and change are choices ) on Monday, 21-Sep-2009 9:10:48

i hate to be redundant. although i've not had a guide dog put down in july we had to do this for our pet dog. she was very sick and it was merciful. that doesn't make it any easier. only people who have animals can truly understand. please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you. when you can, please drop us a note to let us know what the status is.

## Post 7 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Monday, 21-Sep-2009 13:04:14

all the best for the dog, leanne.
hope he gets better

## Post 8 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Monday, 21-Sep-2009 14:59:02

A very good friend of mine has a brother-in-law who is a veterinarian, and I spoke with him this morning. He said that my vet is pretty much doing what he'd do in this situation. He said that although the scan would tell us more about what's going on, if there is a tumor on Pierce's brain stem, they won't operate on it. He also told me not to make any decisions today. He said that even if Pierce hasn't gotten any better, it's still too soon to know if there will be any change. He said that sometimes it can take at least a week to see any improvement, if any.
My vet called me this morning and told me that Pierce's condition hasn't changed. He's not getting sick, he's eating and drinking and going to the bathroom, which is great, but he just can't get up. She said that she called UT, and everyone is pretty much in agreement. If there is a tumor, especially near the brain, they really won't operate. UT said that if it is a tumor, and if it is cancerous, they could try chemo, but that would cost anywhere from three to six thousand dollars.
My vet is keeping him for a few more days, continuing steroids and observation. If he doesn't improve, then there's really nothing else that can be done. I'm so, so saddened by this. I just can't even begin to say how much this hurts. I've been a huge emotional wreck ever since Friday.
Pierce has changed my life so much, and I will never forget that. I just hope and pray with all of my heart that he had a happy life.
I'm trying so hard to be as strong as I can, but it is so incredibly hard. I'm losing a best friend.
I keep hoping that something miraculous will happen.
Please, God, give me the strength to make it through this.

## Post 9 by Polka dots and Moonbeams (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 21-Sep-2009 15:12:29

Hello, is there any kind of therapy that may help? I've heard of so many stories where theroputic swimming does wonders on back and disc issues. Maybe a non-conventional vet might have some alternatives? Halistic treatment?
My thoughts and best wishes go out to you. Letting go of a guide dog, because it is the best for the dog, is excruciating. My guide and I were together for just a bit longer than you and Pierce.
Frm the post above, you definitely have zone support. If you ever want to exchange pm's for talk further, you are welcome to message me.

## Post 10 by Polka dots and Moonbeams (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 21-Sep-2009 15:40:20

Maybe this could be of some help. They are in Knoxville. Unfortunately, music plays while visiting their website, but a phone call may be more bennefitial.
Four Winds Holistic Animal Services
(865) 690-3863
http://home.earthlink.net/~fourwinds/

## Post 11 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Monday, 21-Sep-2009 15:51:26

LeAnn, I'm so, so sorry to hear this. But, remember you have been lucky to have him for so many years. Many people I've known with guide dogs have only been able to use the same dog for seven or eight years. You've been very lucky in that regard. It's just a shame that this happened so suddenly after no warning signs that anything was wrong. You're not being given time to get used to the idea of having to get a new dog gradually, and that's a shame.
I'll pray for your dog and that you have the strength to get through what ever happens next.

## Post 12 by icequeen (move over school!) on Monday, 21-Sep-2009 19:54:42

Hi Leanne, sending you and Pierce lots of good thoughts - I hope alternate therapy may be an option if it is a disk or nerve thing.

## Post 13 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Tuesday, 22-Sep-2009 2:45:07

My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your dog. Hugs. if you need to talk, I'm here to listen.

## Post 14 by Songbird83 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Tuesday, 22-Sep-2009 17:42:25

Hey everyone,
Leeanne and I have already talked on the phone about this whole situation, and I honestly don't know what to say. I just know that we've been good friends for years, and I'll continue to stick by you through out this whole thing. yes I just retired my dog and gave him away, and even though it's not the same thing as if Vernon were to die, it sure felt like part of me did. And even though I have a new dog now, part of me will always be with him, and part of you will always be with Pierce to. Like I said before, if there is anything good that comes out of this if you honestly have to put him down, at least he's 13, and that's pretty old for a dog. And at least you've had him for quite a long time which is also a great thing to. Most people don't have their dogs as long and some dogs pass on a lot sooner than 13, and even if it's not quite comforting, at least it's true. But I'm still praying for you, me and my girl Chelsea. You can always call me or write me if you need to. I had another friend who just retired his dog yesterday, and he sent her back to the school, so I had to comfort him to. But I honestly don't mind. Seems like people all over the place are retiring their dogs, or something else is happening. But I had to go through it to a few months ago, so I know in a way, how it must feel. But You've got tons of support here from what I've seen, so let us know what's happening. And hugs for your puppy to.

## Post 15 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Friday, 25-Sep-2009 21:02:39

Thank you all so much for your kind words and thoughts.
Pierce is such a strong boy. I was able to bring him home today! He can walk now, albeit a little wobbly, but that's to be expected. It's hard taking him out to the bathroom because both our front and back porches have steps to climb and he's not quite ready for stairs.
I'm so very grateful that he's pulling through this. I hope that he continues to grow stronger.

## Post 16 by Blondie McConfusion (Blah Blah Blah) on Friday, 25-Sep-2009 23:01:02

Leanne, this is wonderful news! I'm so happy to hear that he is improving. My prayers for you and him to make a full recovery.

## Post 17 by Songbird83 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Friday, 25-Sep-2009 23:12:13

Yes, my prayers go out to both of you as well! I'm so glad he made it home! I really hope things get better.

## Post 18 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Saturday, 26-Sep-2009 3:47:40

Leanne, did the vet say what caused this problem to begin with?
I don't want to be a downer, but now that you have faced this, you probably need to start thinking about retiring him. You have had him a long time, and in all honesty, you will have to face this several times during your life if you plan to always use a guide dog. People who start out using a guide dog at a young age and do it all their lives, have to go through this many times, and I'm sure each time is heartbreaking. But, it's better to retire him than to have him die suddenly and not be prepared.
Hugs,
Becky

## Post 19 by pebbles (the key to flying is falling and missing the ground.) on Saturday, 26-Sep-2009 3:52:36

I am glad that you were able to bring Pierce home. I hope he makes a full recovery and quickly. hugs

## Post 20 by Harmony (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Saturday, 26-Sep-2009 12:33:41

I'm glad Pierce is getting better. Hope he gets better fully soon.

## Post 21 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Saturday, 26-Sep-2009 12:56:18

Yes, he's retiring. The school is sending out his retirement papers.
The vet bill wasn't pretty. LOL. I'm not sure if the school will help with any of the cost, but I'm hoping they will, considering he's still technically a guide dog, but we'll see. I know that some schools do help, so hopefully they will.

## Post 22 by Harmony (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Saturday, 26-Sep-2009 13:02:05

Yes. Here in the UK, all guide dog centres help with paying for the vet bills. Not sure how it works in America though.

## Post 23 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Saturday, 26-Sep-2009 21:25:36

I hope they help. I'm sure it's expensive.

## Post 24 by PorkInCider (Wind assisted.) on Sunday, 27-Sep-2009 0:10:01

Leanne, I'm glad your dog is regaining his health, but sorry the decision to retire him has been made to some degree for you. I hope it remains healthy for a long while to come, and that you soon are able to get another Guide and keep him too.
Hope the bills become manageable.

## Post 25 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Sunday, 27-Sep-2009 11:37:21

Thanks all. I appreciate all your nice words and thoughts. The support that I have received through all of this has been so helpful.

## Post 26 by icequeen (move over school!) on Sunday, 27-Sep-2009 12:50:44

Hi Leanne, congratulations on Pierce's beginning recovery and home coming! That is sooo exciting! Were they able to determine an actual diagnosis? It's been so wonderful to see the out-pouring of support you've received. Here's to Pierce's continued recovery!

## Post 27 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Sunday, 27-Sep-2009 19:14:58

I'm calling the vet tomorrow morning to give her an update as to how Pierce is doing, so I'll find out then what she's really thinking it was. She wasn't there when I picked him up, so I didn't have the chance to talk to her then.

## Post 28 by turricane (happiness and change are choices ) on Monday, 28-Sep-2009 6:49:34

a thousand praises that your boy is home!!!! will be praying that his health continues good and that the transition happens quickly and smoothly.