# does it come first?

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by dissonance (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Friday, 03-Feb-2006 22:30:55

I am not refering to a particular experience that I have had, but just wondering what you guys think about being blind and that affect on people wanting to go out with you. Do you think some people cancel you out just because of the disability?

## Post 2 by BB (move over school!) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 1:43:54

Yes I do think that. Not all but some do cancel a blind person out due to it. If they are sighted they don't know how to handle things or something so they run for it. These are my thoughts and not the thoughts of anyone else.

## Post 3 by sugar (Entertain me. I dare you.) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 4:32:30

yep yeh, but shit happens init

## Post 4 by Resonant (Find me alive.) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 4:44:30

Up to a point, Lord Copper..
I think in terms of first impressions, it's what people will notice straight away, and yeah, it's gonna put a few people off. People looking to catch someone's eye across a crowded bar and initiate conversation might, for example, pick someone who can do the eye contact thing. But if someone's going to be put off, they're probably not someone you wanted anyway, and there's plenty more who don't fall into that camp.

## Post 5 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 11:16:19

I've seen both sides of this. I've had guys not want to go out with me because I'm blind and other guys want to go out with me because I am blind. The two guys who asked me out because I am blind seemed to just want to satisfy their curiosity about blind people. Once they had all their questions answered and found out as much as they wanted to know, they dropped me. The trick is to find someone who is not put off by your blindness but at the same time not so fascinated by it that it is the only reason they are interested in you.

## Post 6 by guitargod1 (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 11:53:05

Yes. I have had people turn me down simply because I'm blind but I have also had people more interested in my blindness than in me. It's an odd thing really... It's hard for some people to get past it at all. Luckily though, for some girls I've dated/hooked up with etc, it hasn't been an issue at all. I wish that people would ignore the fact that I can't see. It's not a big deal for me so why should it be for them? The media needs to expose people to those with disabilities but they have to show them in the proper lite, which they do not do! Sorry for getting off topic...

## Post 7 by dissonance (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 13:45:04

hmm cat lover, that's interesting. something similar happened to one of my friends. and like resonant said, people who don't see past that probably aren't worth one's time anyway because they may not see past other things as well.

## Post 8 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 14:22:55

I've never had anyone actually tell me it was the blindness that put them off back in my single days, but I wouldn't be surprised. Thanks for protecting my oh-so-delicate feelings, people, thanks loads! However, I would suppose there were other reasons I was rejected, most of them having to do with material and economic things, such as not having a job or a car. Dating, at least when I was doing so, seemed so much less about romance and companionship and more about money and material posessions and status.

## Post 9 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 16:37:36

yes, i definitely think that blindness puts some people off. as most people've said though, you can't let it get you down.

## Post 10 by Marissapc2010 (Zone BBS is my Life) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 18:58:32

Yes I no for a fact that some loozers do think different of us because of it. I've had that happen. I was talking to someone on the net and I told him I was blind after a while. He said iw! And blocked me. So if people do it on the net I garintee they do it in the real world. But thoughs people aren't worth our time anyway.

## Post 11 by SensuallyNaturallyLiving4Today (LivingLifeAndLovingItToo) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 20:48:27

I'm sure that my blindness does put off some potential friends or love interests, but it must also be blamed on my personality. I'm an artist which means that I can be a bit odd, randomly breaking into song, quoting Shakespeare with out warning, changing into strange accents just for the hell of it, crying or throwing a temper tantrum on occasion in public, taking dramatic to an extreme, or dressing on the wildside for fun. Who says a tie died dress and tie died hand bag are in appropriate atire for a dinner date? I'm also very intelligent, and refuse to pretend other wise just to fit in. I can also be judgmental, opinionated, and a bit morally rigid at times. This can frighten, anger or desgust many men. But as I see it they're not worth it.

## Post 12 by mdyer1983 (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 21:07:54

Well I have not had the problem very often, but it is something I do wonder about and what will happen.

## Post 13 by changedheart421 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Saturday, 04-Feb-2006 23:04:21

i definitely think they cansel you out. i have talked to many people on line and once i tell them i am blind usually never get a response.

## Post 14 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 05-Feb-2006 19:10:59

I find it amusing that these folks run away and even block you guys when you tell them you're blind. Do they think you're going to transmit your blindness to them down the net and infect them, as if you were contageous? Probably the best answer is that they just don't know how to act, and in such a situation, running away is easier than facing the problem or just forging ahead and taking a risk. Apparently offending a blind person is worse than killing them, unless they think you have a pack of lawyers and assassins ready to pounce upon them at the first sign of discrimination or such. Who knows?

## Post 15 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Tuesday, 07-Feb-2006 9:19:56

definately I have had numerous knock backs as we call rejection here,from both sexes, but curiously more from women, who fear having to look after me, and will I need constant assistance. Ah well it's their loss.

## Post 16 by Texas Shawn (The cute, cuddley, little furr ball) on Tuesday, 07-Feb-2006 10:53:50

in the past when meeting people from the net, I would usually wait till we talked on the phone before telling them about the blind thing. it tended to give them a chance to get to know me on the phone a little bit instead
of just writing it in a email. maybe it's just me but if I met someone with another type of disability and they just wrote me about it I might be a little put off as well. sure we know how our blind stuff works but that doesn't make us some expert on all disabilitys I don't understand how deaf people do things like any other sighted person.

## Post 17 by Ukulele<3 (Try me... You know you want to.) on Tuesday, 07-Feb-2006 17:49:23

lol Shawn! I do that too. heheheh I know that I'm a very interesting person and it really is just my blindness that puts people off but I usually don't tell them I'm blind from the start. lol I feel that if I were to do so, people might think that I see it as a problem in which they have to get used to and I certainly don't see it that way. I've had both sighted and blind guys ask me out but I didn't give most of them a chance. I think I want to be as independent as I can in dating and I don't want to depend on anyone for anything. lol I'm very weird, I know. hehehe
*sexy*

## Post 18 by Emerald-Hourglass (Account disabled) on Wednesday, 08-Feb-2006 13:39:35

Yes they do. The majority of the guys I've been friends with, some really good friends with, they wouldn't want to be more bc I'm vissually impaired. I don't know if it's because their scared of the unknown, their reputation, all that shit..but, there have been a few guys who treat me normally and don't care if I'm blind or not.

## Post 19 by mdyer1983 (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Wednesday, 08-Feb-2006 17:37:17

Well I guess we all have an isue that we can try to figure out how to deal with it, bjut good luck to us all we know that someone will come that is not going to be sxcare of a blind person.

## Post 20 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 9:03:02

I can tell you in my case these long suffering climbing partners are like gold dust.

## Post 21 by dissonance (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Friday, 10-Feb-2006 19:58:33

wow. and back to the internet thing, it doesn't matter, and I therefore wouldn't tell them. for example, if I just so happened to be asked out online and I just so happened to say yes for some reason, I don't think I would tell them, this may seem selfish, but I don't know. that's like telling someone that they're add when you first meet them or something, you know they'll find out eventually, I know that I'm not incredibly dependent, and I dunno. then again, I'm naive.

## Post 22 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Wednesday, 17-Jun-2009 1:33:55

Yes, of course.