# how can you tell.

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Saturday, 14-Jan-2006 12:05:47

hey how can you tell someone that you do not like them . i mean, not to be in a relationship with them or even date them. and just as friends. with out hurting their feelings?
how can i tell them that i only like friendship and nothing more?

## Post 2 by Inesle1987 (Account disabled) on Saturday, 14-Jan-2006 16:04:24

Well ... of course the best way is to talk to them calmly. If this is not possible somehow, just write them a letter and explain it.

## Post 3 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Sunday, 15-Jan-2006 6:01:59

hmmmm....i guess strict voice, not interesting or perhaps you just don't get on

## Post 4 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 15-Jan-2006 14:51:32

how can i say it with out being rude?
dude, i'm not a rude person and i don't want to be rude to anyone.

## Post 5 by dissonance (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Monday, 16-Jan-2006 18:15:27

I guess just be calm and straight-forward, and explain that you don't want to hurt them which is why you won't try and lead them on, something that would just end up hurting them more.

## Post 6 by Twinklestar09 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 16-Jan-2006 20:34:22

I agree with weaseldance. I've had to break off 2 relationships I've been in for that reason, and I don't think I'd want to have to do that again. I honestly felt bad about it because I did want to give those relationships a chance but realized days after that I only felt friendship for both those guys. But I didn't want to stay with them because I knew it wouldn't be fair to them, and so I felt it was best to be honest rather than for them to be with someone who could not show she loved them because she honestly didn't feel that way. It's hard to know how to say no or break off a relationship because you don't feel like you like the person as a boyfriend, but yes, the best thing is to express that in a calm and honest way. It'll feel better for you, knowing that you've been honest with that person, and although it might hurt the person's feelings, it'll also be good for them for that same reason.

## Post 7 by Senior (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Wednesday, 18-Jan-2006 15:26:02

Well in answer to the question, you've told us without being rude that you don't want this person, so say to the person what you said to us. Of course if someone asked me out and I didn't want to go out with them, I'd say no, and then I'd say why if they asked. Any further pressure would be dealt with in whatever way I felt was appropriate. Why do you insist on rejecting the person nicely anyway? Be honest and blunt because not only will the message be clearer, but they'll be weakened and that'll stop them pursuing you.

## Post 8 by Harp (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Thursday, 19-Jan-2006 15:44:34

you could always try using the power of suggestion, for example when ever they turn up on your front porch, instead of inviting them in, call them a cab! that sort of thing! i'm sure they'd quickly take the hint!

## Post 9 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Monday, 23-Jan-2006 9:50:20

I suggest going for a coffee and saying look there are aspects of your personality ect that really annoy me, and it's got to the stage {that even though I've tried hard} that things are not going to work out it's regrettable..you may think this is harsh but isn't it better to be honest than lead them on and remain in a relationship that is mutally damaging.

## Post 10 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 29-Jan-2006 17:18:35

yes, i agree with everyone who posted here. i was strait with all of them that i just wanted to be fiends. so, i am very glad it all worked out. its all good. i found the guy that i really like. so, at least i told the other people the truth.
thanks all