# how do you get out of adding?

Category: Let's talk

## Post 1 by wonderwoman (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Saturday, 25-Nov-2006 20:48:06

Hi all,
I hope this isn't an embarrasing question, and doesn't put anyone in an awkward position, but I likedand understood the do you add easily question, I was inspired to expand on it and ask a follow up question, and that is, if someone wants to add you, seems desperate to keep track of you in fact, ande you don't particularly to add the person, how do you get out of adding them in a polite way, and possible avoid hurting their feelins? assuming the person who wants to add you isn't quick on the uptake, but would be hurt if you chose not to add them. Like I've stated in a previous post, I preer adding people who really have something in common with me, andwho don't like to add just for the sake of adding, so they can say they have 150 contacts, and a whole host of other resons I've probably already given. So, if you don't want to add a particular person when he/she asks you, how do you get out of it nicely?
wonderwoman

## Post 2 by silly_singer (The girl who's always lost in a melody) on Saturday, 25-Nov-2006 21:13:08

LOL I usually lie and say I use AIM, MSN, Etc. for family only.
People usually leave me alone after that, but if they persist, then I say I'm never on there much so adding me is a waste.

## Post 3 by wonderwoman (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Saturday, 25-Nov-2006 21:18:54

lol, that's what I usually say, but right now I'm not on there much because I don't have that many people anymore, but I don't tell the ones i don't want to add that, if it's people from certain countries, I tell them I don't don't add people I don't know, and if they still persist, I lie and say I don't like it much, or I'm in too manyh things to get on it very often.
wonderwoman

## Post 4 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Saturday, 25-Nov-2006 23:04:00

I just tell them I don't add people I don't know. If they persist, I find myself trying to avoid them, which I know is stupid, but I hate being brutally blunt and saying something like "I just don't enjoy talking to you that much."

## Post 5 by wonderwoman (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 26-Nov-2006 0:12:36

yes buckeye fan, although such a response wouuld probably make our lives muchmore simple, a response like that would sound extremely mean and cruel. one man from india kept wanting to add me to skype, and I told him i didn't like to type on skype, which is true, i don't, but he just types mostly and doesn't voice chat on it much. I kept saying it over and over well i just don't like to chat on skype much because it's hard to use and i don't like it. he finall sensed I didn't want to add him, and he said, I guess you aren't interested, no force, i'm going to leave now, and he did.
wonderwoman

## Post 6 by jmbauer (Technology's great until it stops working.) on Sunday, 26-Nov-2006 1:35:30

Actually, I'm pretty liberal when it comes to allowing people onto my MSN contact list. I strive to give people a chance, reserving the 'block' button for those times when no other recourse is available—never, thus far. In almost all cases to date, I've been asked before being added, and I've known something about the people in question.

## Post 7 by Bryan (This site is so "educational") on Sunday, 26-Nov-2006 4:12:21

be strong, if you don't want to convert with them don't, there are tools to help, like blocking them

## Post 8 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Sunday, 26-Nov-2006 4:38:20

well, I'm just blatently rude. lol.
If I know someone, say from on the zone and they want to add me, and i don't want to add them, I just deny the request. If they ask why, I'll tell them I don't add people I don't know, or, well, I just would rather not have a conversation with you.
Sometimes, you've gotta be assertive.

## Post 9 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Sunday, 26-Nov-2006 15:13:38

i don't add people i don't really know, and if they keep persisting, i tell them i don't use it much.

## Post 10 by DancingAfterDark (I just keep on posting!) on Sunday, 26-Nov-2006 18:17:41

Agreed, Cala. I have no problem telling someone I'm just not interested in talking to them, or even that I don't like them enough to add them. Not very nice, perhaps, but it usually puts them off asking again.

## Post 11 by sparkie (the hilljack) on Sunday, 26-Nov-2006 19:56:13

I give the cold shoulder by denying their request if they show up as wanting to add me on messenger. I only add those I know or worth talking to.
Troy

## Post 12 by wonderwoman (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 26-Nov-2006 21:19:17

I agree with some of you about the block button, it makes sense, but I also have to agree with haunted reverie in a way. I mean, I don't enjoy being mean or rude by a long shot, but sometimes, if you're too obsessed or worried about whether your refusalwill deeply hurt someone, people will take advantage of it in any way they can, which leads up to th equestion of how much should we put up with just to avoid hurting someone's feelings? I've felt put off by some people's intro on live journal, who say things like, you can add me, and i might add you, but then again, maybe I won't. Although it's off putting and would discourage me fromeven speaking to them, let alone adding them to live journal, messenger, or any place where you add people, I still respect their honesty and can understand how they feel.
wonderwoman