# letter from Santa to congress

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 07-Dec-2008 20:59:08

Dear Members of Congress:
While you're bailing out the Big Three automakers, the banks, the mortgage-lenders, and others, please consider me.
With more children than ever in the world, the cost of making toys for all of them is at an all-time high. My elves have become unionized and no longer will work for peanut butter cookies. My reindeer are getting old, and I fear I will need to replace them soon, but teaching new reindeer to fly is an expensive proposition; have you checked out the cost of flight instructors lately? Rudolph's nose intermittently goes dark, and it seems he needs surgery to remediate the problem, but although I am (more than) old enough to qualify for Medicare, Rudolph is not yet quite old enough (he dates back only to 1949, you know), and the gatekeeper of his HMO will not even authorize a visit to a specialist.
My doctor has strongly suggested I lose weight, but Medicare doesn't cover bariatric surgery, and diets are useless when so many kids leave cookies and milk (cholesterol alert!) by their chimneys every year for me. I fear getting a heart attack, which would put me totally out of commission and put an end to my Christmas Eve deliveries. But with the current state of my finances (I had a lot invested in the stock market!), I cannot afford bariatric surgery on my own. Nor can I afford to retire.
In short, I may have to shut down the toy factory, put the reindeer out to pasture, and take up the offer from Wasilla, Alaska, to use Rudolph's now-only-intermittently-glowing nose as a blinking red light. (The city fathers of Wasilla wrote to me that, having been in the spotlight for a while and having lost out, they are seeking a new attraction to keep their city in the public eye.)
The future looks grim. What do you say, Members of Congress? Will you save the day, save Christmas Eve, and save my elves and reindeer from unemployment by including us in your bailout plans? Surely my sleigh brings more joy to the world than the conveyances manufactured by GM, Ford, and Chrysler! Have a heart this Christmas. Save the elves' jobs, the reindeer's jobs...and mine.
Respectfully,
S. Claus

## Post 2 by SunshineAndRain (I'm happily married, a mom of two and a fulltime college student.) on Sunday, 14-Dec-2008 0:30:49

Cute... And if the sleigh were gas-powered he really would be in trouble.

## Post 3 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 14-Dec-2008 12:21:47

Yeah, good thing reindeer can fly with no obvious means of support. LOL

## Post 4 by soaring eagle (flying high again!) on Monday, 15-Dec-2008 15:29:38

thank god the elves are not unionized. Santa would have to charge for delivery! hahahahahaha

## Post 5 by Bryan (This site is so "educational") on Tuesday, 16-Dec-2008 11:10:41

smiles, very nice Becky, thanks

## Post 6 by puppya (335) on Tuesday, 16-Dec-2008 16:22:04

I liked that.

## Post 7 by The Elemental Dragon (queen of dragons) on Wednesday, 17-Dec-2008 11:32:45

santa does charge, it's called cookies and milk!

## Post 8 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Wednesday, 31-Dec-2008 10:26:13

Cute. I wonder why climbing up and down people's chimneys isn't enough exercise. And let the bastard die anyway. It'd be his sentence for committing thousands and millions of breaking-in enterings each year.