# guide dog humor

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by sparkie (the hilljack) on Thursday, 24-Aug-2006 20:22:48

This was quite amusing.
- I know you are highly intelligent, so how come you always manage to get your front paws tangled in your leash like this?
- You must know that eating grass or kitty excreta will give you gas, so why do you always look offended when you are the one fumigating the room?
- I love you, but I don't like being used as your napkin when you have just dunked your muzzle in your drinking bowl.
- No, I don't think water does taste better when imbibed from a toilet bowl! I just know so and don't have to try it!
- You could wipe your own feet before coming in all muddy you know.
- And shaking fur all over a restaurant isn't funny. It isn't another way to say thank you or goodbye.
- No, I know that putting your cold nose on them makes people move, and let us get to the front of the line, but we can wait our turn.
- Yes I understand that he said something rude to you, but its his yard and you are a professional, so just walk past and ignore him.
- No, you can't take your toys with us, you are working!
- Behave yourself or I'll put this harness on the cat!
- Yes, we are shopping again, and the object isn't to go in one door and find the exit as fast as we can and no you can't just pick up things and expect
me to pay for them.
- I brushed you this morning and you don't have fleas, so stop scratching and jangling your tags like that!
- You are interrupting the meeting!
- Wake up, I know the sermon was extra long, but snoring is impolite.
- Yes, that's your dinner and I know mine looks better, but yours is well balanced and nutritious.
- Don't huff at me, I am not being ridiculous and yes I do too know where we are going and it isn't back the other way!
Yes, you are very smart to remember this place, but we aren't going there today.
- No, it isn't alright to chase the neighbor's cat out of your yard because it isn't our yard.
- Just because it is on the floor doesn't make it yours.
- Yes I know where the dog biscuits are and you are not getting another one.
- Yes I know everyone says you are beautiful and clever, but you don't need to thank them all for the attention.
- You can too fit under an airline seat!
- Okay, you win, being half in my lap is reasonable when you get scared.
- Yes, you are the bestest dog in the whole world.

## Post 2 by SingerOfSongs (Heresy and apostasy is how progress is made.) on Friday, 25-Aug-2006 4:12:55

lmao some of those are *sooooo true.

## Post 3 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Friday, 25-Aug-2006 9:12:34

This was fun reading.
Thanks.
Bob

## Post 4 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Friday, 25-Aug-2006 9:35:48

I'll pass this along to those I know with guide dogs. Thanks.

## Post 5 by Resonant (Find me alive.) on Friday, 25-Aug-2006 10:37:47

Aww. That's fantastic. And, there may possibly be a guidedog up on the bed with me while I'm reading this. But it's still fantastic.

## Post 6 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Friday, 25-Aug-2006 19:52:44

lollol!

## Post 7 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Sunday, 27-Aug-2006 14:56:55

LOL, they're so true!