# raising boys

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Thursday, 06-Oct-2005 21:37:31

Raising Boys...
For those with no children - this is totally hysterical! For those who
already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those who have
children
this age, this is not funny. For those who have children nearing this age,
this is a warning. For those who have not yet had children, this is birth
control.
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
A king size water bed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house4
inches deep.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.
A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough
to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all
four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a
ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you
get
a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush, and hear the words "uh oh", it's already too
late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year
old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
Super glue is forever.
No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on
water.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they
do.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like
ovens.
The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
It will, however, make cats dizzy.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without
kids.

## Post 2 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Friday, 07-Oct-2005 9:45:32

Mad! but very funny..

## Post 3 by Puggle (I love my life!) on Friday, 07-Oct-2005 13:14:18

lol note to self if giving birth to boys, disown them imediately and send them back wehre they came from.