# Does refusal to accept NO for an answer make harrassment?

Category: Jobs and Employment

## Post 1 by squidwardqtentacles (I just keep on posting!) on Saturday, 15-Jan-2011 19:47:37

The no involves a lifestyle choice, and it involves a female colleague. This individual shows a marked refusal to acknowledge others' boundaries. I found out thru someone else her beau may have been the husband of a former department manager. She revealed a complaint a friend of hers filed against another employee, which goes against retaliation policy.
The lifestyle choice is mine & involves bad circumstances, the refusal to have another child. I would have enjoyed it, but bad circumstances say otherwise. Not once, but several times this individual has remarked "Spongebob you need to get ready for the next one." I have stated NO several times. I am not even eligible for maternity care where I live as this is restricted to low-moderate risk patients. And two, three, many times this individual keeps rubbing my nose in it & even openly insulted a divorced male former colleague for making the same choice.
I am a senior employee and in this economy being a new employee elsewhere is risky, the ol' last one in first one out. We have enough personnel problems, really shortages with limited hiring, and the individual in question I made the mistake of finding out how she was doing following orthopaedic surgery. I thought it would be a courtesy to at least ask "How are you? Are you doing better?" to get this issue in my face for the umpteenth time. I am fed up with women refusing to accept my no for an answer, some outright, one went behind my back to get something I said NO to from my husband, then they wonder why I prefer the guys as friends. If a guy was telling women they needed to push out more babies, they'd be charged with sexual harrassment. I am going to the department manager as I am truly fed up, but I thought I'd toss it out there. Does anyone else have to be a witness for a complaint to go forward?

## Post 2 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Saturday, 15-Jan-2011 20:22:06

Not in a harassment case.
I hope you are successful with it, I for one think you have valid points.

## Post 3 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Sunday, 16-Jan-2011 14:40:41

it seems that employers are so quick to fire men for sexual harassment claims against women, even if they aren't proven to be true! However, if it's women doing the harassing, that's somehow okay? No, I don't think so.

## Post 4 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Sunday, 16-Jan-2011 17:55:42

Further, I think the family size criticisms, which generally come from larger families, are particularly toxic. As a man, I'd just as soon tell them to butt out and mind their own business. However, I've seen fundamentalist types have a toxic effect on my wife in this manner, to such a degree one could only wish they would violate an international law in international waters, and, upon being picked up by an intra-jurisdiction patrol, that they would resist.
If it were a man doing what women in that situation often do, the rest of us would line up for a shot at punching him in the face. The family siuze / who has how many issue is apparently a soft spot for women, so I can only presume those who drive it in on other women are only doing so opportunistically and on purpose.
I do hope you're successful, and that the person you speak with is a sensible woman, since she would not be bound by the same restrictions that bind communications between the sexes. Hell, let her be an ex-marine.

## Post 5 by squidwardqtentacles (I just keep on posting!) on Monday, 17-Jan-2011 12:58:01

Thanks, guys...I'm really most fed up with NO not being accepted for an answer.
Incidentally I don't think Christian fundamentalists would have anything at all to do with this woman or her brood...it is so big because both parents were divorced at least once, twice in the case of dad, and he had kids by both ex's before hooking up with this twit.
I'll have to lay low & keep quiet per company policy. We had an employee let go recently not only because of absenteeism, but I suspect someone got wind she was posting about work on facebook while out. Maybe once everything dies down I can let you know how it goes.