# how to feel comfy in your own skin, despite everything

Category: Health and Wellness

## Post 1 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 25-Jul-2010 18:32:08

To go along with my happiness topic I posted here a while back, how about offering up tips for the readership of the boards on how to feel more comfy in your own skin. Also, do you think society encourages people to not feel comfy in their own skin? Why do you think so and what can you do about it?
I'd say at this point I feel pretty comfy in my own skin. I think a lot of it had to do with first of all, to quit resisting being who I really was. For example, I thought I was a fairly outgoing person when in truth I'm introverted. I used to think I was too weird for people, but I turned that around and just decided to think of myself as a square peg, outsider, eccentric, because I couldn't pretend I was all cool and trendy because I didn't like most trendy things in the first place, so best just to roll with it. I don't take most harsh negative criticism personally because as I think back, most people only did that for their own amusement to try and get on my nerves. They didn't really want me to change or give a damn about me. I figure if they're only treating me like crap to get a reaction out of me, I'll withhold their treat so they get bored and go away. A lot of it was just taking things I perceived as negative and turning them into positives. I also figure that whatever you do and whatever choices you make in life, somebody's going to bitch about it, probably just to hear themselves talk, so just do what you're going to do anyhow as long as you don't hurt yourself or others.

## Post 2 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Sunday, 25-Jul-2010 21:25:43

Well, imagine how you would feel without your skin, I think that would be pretty awful.

## Post 3 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Sunday, 25-Jul-2010 22:08:13

Ah c'mon, man, snakes do that all the time! Snakes and women obsessed with exfoliating themselves / doing peels.
And hermit crabs I guess.

## Post 4 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Monday, 26-Jul-2010 14:10:42

Snakes and women? No comment! Lol but seriously, I do think that society actively tries to bring people down.

## Post 5 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Monday, 26-Jul-2010 14:45:39

People love to bring out the negatives, often to make themselves feel better in their own skin, so I definitely agree with the original post. Do whatever you feel best doing, provided you aren't harming anyone else. Of course, if you're asked to give your opinion, by all means, give it, but don't go overboard, especially if you know the person on the receiving end of that opinion is sensitive to harsh criticism.

## Post 6 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Monday, 26-Jul-2010 14:47:25

I think another thing that will help is admitting your own mistakes. Everyone makes them, so there's really no point trying to hide it. Trust me, I know from experience that once you've brought it out in the open, it feels much better, and people seem to be more willing to help you overcome your weaknesses if you're open about them from the start.

## Post 7 by icequeen (move over school!) on Monday, 26-Jul-2010 23:02:50

To the original poster, I just want to say congratulations for achieving such great insight and reaching a place where you have come to terms with yourself, and found self-acceptance... and learned to not give in to those who would intend to provoke you for their entertainment etc.
Again, congratulations on acheiving self-acceptance! What a truly wonderful thing! :)

## Post 8 by icequeen (move over school!) on Monday, 26-Jul-2010 23:17:16

As far as advice on how to feel more comfortable in one's skin, as redundant as it is... one has to let go of concern for what others will think about you and your choices etc - be they friends or strangers. The biggestthing is to be authentic. When you are authentic and confident in that, then others will like you - confidence is always attractive and authenticity is irresistable.

## Post 9 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Tuesday, 27-Jul-2010 15:02:30

Choose your friends, rather than letting them choose you.

## Post 10 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Tuesday, 27-Jul-2010 17:16:00

don't worry about how others will take your thoughts; just say what's in your heart, and let that speak for itself.

## Post 11 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 27-Jul-2010 18:32:17

This is good advice, but I bet for most people it's going to be a struggle.

## Post 12 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Wednesday, 28-Jul-2010 12:56:22

I'll admit, it has been in the past, but if you let that get to you, you really won't get too far in life. I've learned that over the past few years.

## Post 13 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Wednesday, 28-Jul-2010 14:40:08

Sure, it is a difficult thing for many people. The one thing to keep in mind is to forgive yourself of your flaws because we all have them. It is a hard step but we should try and work on it. I struggle with this myself but I do try to give myself a break now and then.

## Post 14 by Grace (I've now got the ggold prolific poster award! wahoo! well done to me!) on Wednesday, 28-Jul-2010 15:56:59

Getting comfortable within one's own skin is
a give and take within process.
Maybe in some respects it is the shedding of skin,
in a manner of thot,
slithering from areas that maybe once was at home in
to later come into new realizations, new growth
and yes, new as it were skin,
Moving on and forward
Sometimes life's obstacles are at such a situation
that the need becomes for having
thick skin as it were
where the darts of animosity are unable to penetrate.
I do give consideration that to truly be at home
within one's own skin means there is the real facing of
what is really important in life to a person and
coming to fully understand one's own values
and
then acting on them
Sometimes this process can take a long while
with several shedding of skins as it were...
Also getting and being comfortable within one's own skin
is too having time set aside for one's self
in a location free of interruptions where there can be a
settling in and back
Maybe with good music, an interesting book,
beverage/snacks of choice &/or out in a place of nature..
Being able to think & meditate

## Post 15 by rat (star trek rules!) on Wednesday, 28-Jul-2010 16:29:17

i agree with the last post on this

## Post 16 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Wednesday, 28-Jul-2010 16:43:47

You really have to know yourself before you can get to know anyone else, truly. How do you know when you really know yourself? Well, I think there are many answers to that question, but generally, if you know yourself, you can listen to and respect all other opinions, but you most likely won't change yours, though it may make you think.

## Post 17 by turricane (happiness and change are choices ) on Friday, 30-Jul-2010 9:13:13

getting older was the thing that helped me to become comfortable with myself. One day, I woke up, I realized that i was fifty and I had an epiphany. It occurred to me that gosh i'd been worried about what other people thought of me forever, and how was it helping me? Other people don't get up with me and live my life. Someone recently told me a very profound thing "you have the power over your life. if you put it in the hands of others, don't whine if it isn't used in the way you think it should be."
As for society promoting negative self image, that is so obvious it doesn't need to be stated. Now, let's see. We must be thin, have beautifully flawless skin, and eat the socially acceptable food which is organic and low in sugar and fat. Our clothes must be of the latest fashions, and need to be manufactured by the company with the most in name. The hair must be in the latest style, have body and never ever be gray. our house must contain certain accoutrements. Why do so many of us eat tasteless low fat crap? The gurus of style tell us constantly that We want to be thin and gorgeous because he who is the skinniest gets the hotties. In order to make the dough ray me, stores and such thrive on trying to put and keep our self image in the toilet.
remember that life is filled with choices. we were given a brain and free will and it is our duty to exercise both.

## Post 18 by Voyager (I just keep on posting!) on Saturday, 31-Jul-2010 22:01:28

How would I be something other than authentic? If I were not myself, then who would I be? Is it a good thing that I can't figure this out?

## Post 19 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Saturday, 31-Jul-2010 22:47:08

It's all psychobabble the thing about being authentic or you have to know yourself first before you can know anyone else I don't understand it either but I don't understand psychobabble / didn't even take psychology or philosophy in college. You're in good company.
The original poster is on to something there, and I for sure think Turricane's right about getting older.

## Post 20 by Voyager (I just keep on posting!) on Saturday, 31-Jul-2010 23:03:15

Oh, good. I hear about people "learning to be themselves," and think it would take a conscious effort to act like someone else rather than an unconscious one.

## Post 21 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Saturday, 31-Jul-2010 23:29:26

I dunno if I get it either, but my guess is it means relax and be yourself, whatever that is, as opposed to trying to be what other people, real or hypothetical, think you ought to be. Again, a struggle, because people who want to criticize you tend to use very strong words and loud tones of voices. They believe their opinions of you are more important than anything, even if they're only putting you down as a game.

## Post 22 by turricane (happiness and change are choices ) on Tuesday, 03-Aug-2010 14:29:15

oh i can answer the being someone else statement easily. When I had small children, there were two women at my church who I wanted to emmulate so badly. Jill and Marian were home makers, their children were dressed perfectly, both these moms made everything from scratch including the pasta and hamburger buns. they spoke in beautifully modulated voices, always had neat and ordered houses and lives. I tried copying what they did for the longest time. Then, one day Jill said to me "I'm flattered you want to be like me, but my space in life's puzzle is filled. Go see if you can fit in the one marked your name." after sulking and pouting over my hurt feelings for a while, I realized she had a definite point. Since then, I've tried to do that.

## Post 23 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Sunday, 08-Aug-2010 23:37:07

A good lesson. Just be yourself because you will always sell yourself short if you don't.