# Have People Thought THat You Were More Than Blind?

Category: Let's talk

## Post 1 by luckyone (Account disabled) on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 11:18:56

Have you guys ever had people come up and get right in your face and talk to you slow and loud or talk to you like you were mentally disabled? I hate when that happens. I was at this summer camp once, and one of the staff came over to me and asked me if I had a bowel movement that day. Ahh! Totally nasty! I felt so degraded.

## Post 2 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 11:59:10

I can't give you any specific incidents, but I bet it's happened to me. Seems to be a common thing that happens to blind folks. My latest crackpot theory is that people who have never spoken to a blind person before assume we're all just clones of Helen Keller. Hahahahahaha!

## Post 3 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 12:33:08

i've heard sometimes blind people have gotten the question of whether or not they use sign language. gees, the idiocy of some people ...

## Post 4 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 14:48:09

in response to the last poster, I've received that question more often than not! lol.

## Post 5 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 14:58:52

Some people have yelled at me because they thought I was deaf. It's hard to keep from being rude when your eardrums are being blown out.
And for a while, kids at school were talking to me using the smallest words in the English language to help me understand something. Apparently, there had been a rumor going around the school that I was a foreign student. JJust oh wow! That was totally unexpected. Thank God I didn't have to tell people over and over again that I was Michigan bred, born, and fed. Once a few people knew, they must have informed their friends of this error.
I can't believe some people actually thought I was from a different country. There were actually teachers that believed this too! How insane is that/

## Post 6 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 15:15:48

wow, that's crazy! thinking you're a foreign student? just wow.
I've had people talk to me as if I'm deaf, too...more times than I can count.

## Post 7 by Mlynwei (Last word? Gimmie the first!) on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 17:23:07

I've never gotten the deaf treatment before, but I've had servers turn and ask my companion what I'd like to order. "And what'll she have?" Jesus that was annoying.
When I was in a smartass mood I'd reply with something like, "I think she'd like a coke." Oh, the glorious awkwardness that would follow.

## Post 8 by ori9303 (This site is so "educational") on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 17:29:29

I have had people do many things but the ones that are anoying are: asking if I know sign language, talking to me as if I am deaf, grabbing my arm because they think I can't walk by myself, and the most anoying one of all is when people ask friends or family that I am with questions that are dirrected toward me. Geez, I am blind not ignorent.

## Post 9 by Feathered Serpent (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 20:52:17

The one that happens to me and the one that i hate the most is the times when people ask the person who is next to me a question that is meant to be for me.

## Post 10 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 21:02:29

Yeah, this has happened to me too. My mother tries to respond for me or tells me to respond to whoever it is that's doing this, but my brother, sister, or my friends will say: "Why don't you ask her?"
I remember when I went out to dinner for my sixteenth birthday. I don't think the waitress saw us come through the door, because when I told her that it was my sixteenth birthday, she said, "Oh! Are you taking driver's training?" My family laughed. But I didn't have my cane visible, it was in the seat behind my butt, so I brought it out and showed it to her. She thought it was pretty cool, and she treated me like any other customer that entire afternoon.

## Post 11 by Nicky (And I aprove this message.) on Tuesday, 02-Jun-2009 21:36:40

I have had a few different thing but the main thing that is comming to mind is that when I flew by myself on a plain, one of the piolits couldn't remember is deaf or blind people read braille.

## Post 12 by Feathered Serpent (I can't call it a day til I enter the zone BBS) on Wednesday, 03-Jun-2009 20:14:30

waw. Would like to hear more about that one. lol.

## Post 13 by turricane (happiness and change are choices ) on Thursday, 04-Jun-2009 6:56:46

and people wonder why i don't like to fly..... good grief.
the one that really annoys me i have mentioned elsewhere on the zone, but i'll say it again. many young people who are order takers or work on the phone in some ccapacity do this one. if for some reason I have to say that I'm blind they say "what do you mean?" I say "my eyes are broke. they don't work." then after a nervous laugh they usually say "oh i thought you were stoned or something." Now is this a cultural thing or a comment on my presentation. I don't even want to go there.
Another one is trying to get my sighted friend to sign a credit card slip. that is always amusing. Especially when my friend pam has said "don't make me do it. don't please. I'm a recovering forger. that's her card." Of course she is not, but it always interests us to see the reaction.
Although not speciffically related to blindness, my biggest pet peave is telemarketers asking me "how are you?" I mean, why should they care. Just say what you have to so I can buttyou off my phone and out of my life. One time, after the third one of these annoying nuissance calls, the lady asked the fatal question, and in a tremulous voice I said "well, my husband left with his secretary today. my son has terminal cancer, and my dog just got hit, and how are you?" The poor lady started to cry. I really felt bad.

## Post 14 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Thursday, 04-Jun-2009 9:40:23

I might be able to fill in the blanks on why people talk to the sighted person with you and not you directly. Now, this is just a guess, but it's an eye contact thing. I guess for some folks, the idea of communicating strictly on the verbal level is something, I suppose, they think they can't handle, so they go to what they know, which is the nearest source of eye contact connected to you, which means your sighted friend or spouse or family member. My fiancee and I are both blind and we had a sighted friend up to visit. The three of us went to a restaurant and the hostess always spoke to our sighted friend, even about the Braille menu. My fiancee and I answered anyhow, but although our friend had heard of this happening from other blind people she's in contact with, she never experienced it herself until this incident. And the ironic thing was our hostess seemed to be what would be called a dwarf or little person, so you'd think she would have received the same treatment and thus should have known better. No, we did not call her on this behavior or take it to management, and our waiter was perfectly cool with us, but it sure bothered our friend or at least made her very puzzled.

## Post 15 by turricane (happiness and change are choices ) on Thursday, 04-Jun-2009 15:02:29

godzilla you are right. i never thought of that but it makes sense. i also have noticed that as time passes and I get older, this behavior has lessened. I remember when I was a teen and young adult it happened a whole lot more then it does now. As I see from your profile, you aren't in either of those categories, so that theory is shot down. I also wonder if it is a regional thing. I live on the east coast.
Hey, just because one person has a noticeable disability doesn't mean that they are sensitive to our issues. Some of the most dysfunctional behavior I have experienced has come from the deaf community. NOAA, where I work, has a lot of deaf employees. Many have stated emphatically that being around blind people makes them profoundly uncomfortable because loss of sight is their worst nightmare.
I usually think the best of people and feel that whatever silly thing they do is motivated by some sort of skewed kindness. Hey, sometimes that is pretty hard to fathom, but until proved otherwise, i will assume they have my best interest at heart. of course, we know what the first three letters of assume are and I've been one of those on many occasions. enjoy your day.

## Post 16 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Thursday, 04-Jun-2009 15:08:49

Wow Godzilla, I never thought of that either. And it's totally sensible. I never took into account that sighted people derive much of their perceptions, impressions, and information from facial expressions and eye contact. What a shame.

## Post 17 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 05-Jun-2009 7:20:16

Point taken about folks with other disabilities. I also think it's sad that we are scary to folks just in principle when we actually don't do anything to provoke discomfort. We're just there, doing our thing, and people are all scared. Oh well, guess I won't have to dress up for Halloween anymore, right? Oooo, I have an evil sense of humor!

## Post 18 by Big Pawed Bear (letting his paws be his guide.) on Friday, 05-Jun-2009 12:34:32

i have also found that me doing anything is frightening to others. they can't see how i can live at all. and when I tell them i break out the wok and start doing very hot and dangerous things with water and oil, they almost shit themselves. i also work with horses, and that frightens some, as i work unaided by sighted people. leading horses to their boxes, grooming them, tacking them up etc. heheheh v good that.

## Post 19 by BethanyRose (the one and only Rose of Nativeness) on Saturday, 06-Jun-2009 8:40:22

First, Helen Keller was not developmentally delayed...she was brilliant! So even if we were clones, they wouldn't have to talk to us like we're delayed. Second, when I'm in a situation where I know someone could possibly speak up for me, I quickly interject before someone can say, "and what would she like?"
I'll have to use the line in Post 7 to speak in third person and embarrass my waitress, and post 13 was hillarious, though it was mean!

## Post 20 by SFAIdol (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Sunday, 07-Jun-2009 19:18:58

When I was getting interviewed to get my SSI check again when I turned eighteen, one of the questions that was asked of me was, "Do you drive a car or truck?" I thought to myself, "Sure. I drove my mother and I up here. My Jeep is parked outside. Want to see?" I said no. Although it's probably oneof those questions they have to as, still... I've also gotten the "What would she like?" treatment. I kindly respond by saying what I will have.

## Post 21 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Monday, 08-Jun-2009 0:47:26

No, not really. It's because I don't act dumb. It's more like I awe inspire people. Really, I don't even act blind all the time, and people can't remember I am blind. It's like, "Oh, I forgot you were blind, sorry." After I don't react to their normal hand gestures or if I say something. Really, they feel so comfortable around me that it seems just like there sighted buds. Sure, there is always a few goofs that asks if I know any sign language, but I just tell them I don't and I have no business to know such a thing.

## Post 22 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Monday, 08-Jun-2009 11:25:05

A waitress/waiter has never asked my companion or family member what would I like, but friends of my brother or sister have asked them questions meant for me. My brother and sister always tell them to ask me.
When I went to CJ Barry Mores, a place with an arcade, go carts, batting cages and such, a woman told my mother that her daughter looks pretty. My mother told me to say thank you. And I just said, "Oh, her daughter thanks you for the compliment." I bet she felt like a real jackhole after that. That was awhile ago, I've obviously grown much more polite than I used to be.
Also, when I eat at restaurants, I don't think the servers see my cane when I enter in the place. And if they do, they really don't make much of it. They always direct any questions for me toward me. If I don't respond because I don't know whether they're speaking to me or not, my family will inform the person of the fact that I'm blind.
One thing that I don't like, but find a bit helpful, is when people touch you when they speak to you. I don't like it because I don't know when they're going to touch me, and so I might retaliate. But it's helpful because it's kind of like a person's way of looking at me.

## Post 23 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Monday, 08-Jun-2009 17:38:12

To the last part of the post before this one, I get really jumpy if people touch my shoulder without warning me, and I know at least one other person who does too.

## Post 24 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Monday, 08-Jun-2009 17:44:22

Well, not only do I get jumpy, but I have an immediate reaction i.e., hitting, elbowing, or kicking.
My mother came up behind me to fix my hair or something the other day, and caught an elbow in the chest.
It's really bad, and I can't control it. I just react without thinking.