# top 15 out of office e-mail messages (part 2)

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 13-Jul-2008 11:26:31

A long time ago I posted another list, but these are even funnier IMO. But I'll go make a comment at the bottom of the first post to bring it back up to the top for comparison.
The top 15 out of office e-mails we'd like to see...
15. I'm at my desk right now, but Minesweeper is a timed game. I'll respond to you as soon as I set a new high score.
14. I'm attending the funeral of my grandmother. Please do not make the effort to count and realize that this is the sixth time my grandmother has died
in the past four years.
13. I'll be out all week. And my office door's unlocked. And there's all kinds of cool stuff in my desk drawers.
12. I am not able to reply to your e-mail because I am on vacation. If you fill up my mailbox with more unwanted pictures of your ugly kids while I am out,
I will hunt you down and kill you.
11. You talking to me? You talking to ME? Well guess what? Today I ain't talking to you.
10. I like some of the things you wrote in that last email. And it inspired me to come up with something completely unconventional. Now stay with me because
it may seem irrelevant, but brings up a valid point. Imagine that you that you represent everything you just wrote, and I represent every person... GOTCHA!
I'm not really here -- this is an automated message. I'll be back next week!
9. I will be out of the Oval Office until January 20, 2009. (Barack Obama only)
8. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.
All WORK and NO PLAY make Jack a DULL BOY.
All work and no play make jack a dull boy.
Allworkandnoplaymakejackadullboy...
7. I'm out of the office, unless I came in today. It's a Microsoft thing.
6. smhdiohsddhmd mdmvre'gjwe' wojt'g ojmqge'ojmv q'q gvjegvr'=2C gv'gogvjgrj (That's my new assistant's ass banging my keyboard; can't get to your message,
obviously.)
5. I am currently trapped in a dead-end position with a vision-crippled, lifeforce-sucking conglomerate, having lost the will to even respond to email.
Please send appealing job-openings and humorously twisted motivational poster parodies.
4. Sorry, but I've lost all of my fingers in the large paper cutter and won't be able to respond until I learn how to type with a pencil in my mouth.
3. If not back by Aug 06, please avenge my death.
2. I'm away on business, so your requests are being forwarded to our general customer service center. Of course it's 12 time zones away and the associates
only speak Hindi, so you're probably screwed until I get back anyway.
and the Number 1 Out-of-Office E-Mail We'd Like to See...
1. For questions about the GMS project, ask Bob; he took the credit for it so, let's see if he knows anything.

## Post 2 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 13-Jul-2008 11:39:44

Never mind! I can't sift through all those pages of jokes. LOL Who the hell held a gun to my head and made me post all those jokes? Bob?

## Post 3 by The Elemental Dragon (queen of dragons) on Sunday, 13-Jul-2008 14:33:20

lmao, nice!!

## Post 4 by blindndangerous (the blind and dangerous one) on Sunday, 13-Jul-2008 21:55:59

nice one becky. Your jokes r awesome.

## Post 5 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Monday, 14-Jul-2008 10:32:15

I wish I could take credit for these, but alas, I just copy things from e-mails or websites.
#6 made me literally laugh out loud.

## Post 6 by Albanac (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 14-Jul-2008 17:52:47

lmfao becky, the comment you made after your first post, was just as funny, and you so can take credit for that. hugs.
Cheers,
Simon