# Democrat, Republican, or Dixie-crat

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Tuesday, 30-May-2006 17:59:22

Are you a Democrat, Republican or Dixiecrat?
Here is a little test that will help you decide:
The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic terrorist with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal 40, and
you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and
your family.
What do you do?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man
look poor? Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would
inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What
about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the
knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does
the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a
loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and
to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he
definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I
were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was
stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1? Why is this street so deserted? We need
to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier
street that would discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I
need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a
consensus.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Republican's Answer:
BANG!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dixiecrat's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
click.....
(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click
Daughter: "Cool, Pappy! Was them the Winchester Silver Tips er the
hollow points?
Son: Git 'er done, Pop! Can ah shoot the next one?
Wife: Ya ain't taking that to no taxidermist!

## Post 2 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Tuesday, 30-May-2006 18:04:00

I love this one

## Post 3 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Tuesday, 30-May-2006 18:05:38

lollollol!

## Post 4 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Tuesday, 30-May-2006 20:41:06

It's funny.

## Post 5 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Tuesday, 30-May-2006 23:00:42

I'm a dixi-crat then. loved it!