# politically correct descriptions of women and men

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Wednesday, 25-Oct-2006 18:58:39

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE"
3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
7 She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED"
8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."
6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."
7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION"
8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE

## Post 2 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Thursday, 26-Oct-2006 11:10:01

Hahahahaha, I really liked some of these.

## Post 3 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Thursday, 26-Oct-2006 15:16:49

Ha ha, these are good.
"SEXUALLY FOCUSED.", so that's what they call it? Never knew that.
Bob

## Post 4 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 29-Oct-2006 12:10:08

In your case, Bob, it's just called horny.

## Post 5 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 29-Oct-2006 12:23:37

Rumor has it that Friday night you were "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED" Becky, is this true?
Bob

## Post 6 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 29-Oct-2006 12:24:34

Darn right! LOL But you're still horny.

## Post 7 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 29-Oct-2006 12:29:57

Darn right, but, if I get lucky, I'll remember it in the morning. If you get sober, you'll be horney.

## Post 8 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 29-Oct-2006 12:35:05

Darn right!

## Post 9 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 29-Oct-2006 12:40:19

Hey, babe, how much is a bus ticket from San Antonio to Columbus?
Now, that should start some gossip on the zone.
Bob

## Post 10 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 29-Oct-2006 12:43:59

No need to buy a bus ticket. I'll hop on my broom and fly down to give you a Halloween night you'll never forget.