# Little Johnny (possibly Offensive)

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Cill Bot (Zone BBS Addict) on Tuesday, 02-Nov-2004 20:38:36

Little Johnny was 12 years old and like other boys his age rather curious.
He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys,and he
wondered what it was and how it was done. One day he took his question to
his mother, who became rather flustered.
Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the
curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.
This he did.
The following morning, Johnny described everything to his mother.
"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he turned off most
of the lights. Then he started kissing and hugging her. I figured Sis must
be getting sick, because her face started looking funny. He must have
thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart,
just the way the doctor would. Except he's not as smart as the doctor
because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
"I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started
panting and getting all out of breath. His other hand must of been cold
because he put it under her skirt. About this time Sis got worse and began
to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the
couch. This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis
told him she felt really hot.
"Finally, I found out what was making them so sick-- a big eel had gotten
inside his pants somehow. It just jumped out of his pants and stood there,
about 10 inches long, honest anyway, he grabbed it in one hand to keep it
from getting away. 'When Sis saw it, she got really scared -- her eyes got
big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff
like that. She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell
her about the ones down at the lake.
"Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off. All
of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a
muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from
biting again.' Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor--
lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel.
"The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and
her boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess they wanted to kill the eel by
squashing it between them.
"After a while they both quit moving and gave a great sigh. Her boyfriend
got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel. I knew because it just hung
there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.
"Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went
back to courting anyway. He started hugging and kissing her again. By golly,
the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again. I
guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something. This time,
Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After a 35 minute
struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw
Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet."
His mother fainted.

## Post 2 by the topspeed3 fan (Generic Zoner) on Tuesday, 02-Nov-2004 21:54:53

all right hahahahahah hthat's a good one! keep jokes cuming heheheheh:-) yeehaw!