# paraprosdokian sentences

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Monday, 14-Nov-2011 18:29:27

A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a
figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first.
They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect.
For examples:
- Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
- If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. (my favorite)
- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
- The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
- Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.
- I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again.
- The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!
- Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
- I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot.
- Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.
- There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
- You're never too old to learn something stupid.
- Sometimes my mind wanders and other times it goes away completely.
- Never complain about growing old, far too many people have been denied that privilege.
- I live in my own little world, but that’s okay, they like me there.
Bob

## Post 2 by LittleSneezer (The Zone-BBS is my prison, but I like it here.) on Monday, 14-Nov-2011 19:23:39

These are pretty good.

## Post 3 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 17-Nov-2011 18:09:50

Heard them before but worth reading again. Thanks.

## Post 4 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Friday, 18-Nov-2011 15:33:03

Heard some of these before, but I really do like Paraprosdokian sentences.

## Post 5 by Kathy Fraggle (Zone BBS is my Life) on Saturday, 10-Dec-2011 19:41:26

First time seeing these or hearing the term. I loved them! Without question my favorite is, "We never really grow up; we just learn how to act in public."

## Post 6 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 11-Dec-2011 6:14:52

I like that one too.
Wish LibraLady would read it again. Maybe she'd learn to act in public.
Bob
Bob