# Other's Preception...

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by Rebecca A (Generic Zoner) on Thursday, 27-May-2010 2:00:50

I am sighted, single and live in Seattle. Why does everybody assume that because I'm single, I have to not be happy that way? I get tired of the assumptions that the fact I'm single occupies my life. I would like to meet somebody, but it's not something I have scheduled.

## Post 2 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Thursday, 27-May-2010 6:49:14

I dunno, I think part of it is programming/conditioning or whatever you want to call it. In this culture at least we're beaten over the head with the idea that being in a love relationship is supposed to be important, this wonderful of all wonderfuls. The idea that a person can be single and be happy that way kind of parallels the idea that a person can be happy with their own company and not have or desire to be around other people all day flapping their jaws and chattering and gossipping just to keep the silence away. People can't seem to try and think past their own point of view.

## Post 3 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Saturday, 29-May-2010 16:12:25

right on; I agree with the last post completely. also,, I think people feel that way cause they themselves wouldn't be/aren't happy being single.

## Post 4 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Sunday, 30-May-2010 3:06:57

Wonder from whom you gt the most grief? Other single people? New lovers? People who've been in a relationship for awhile? I concur with the last couple posts.

## Post 5 by Rebecca A (Generic Zoner) on Monday, 31-May-2010 6:31:42

Seems to be a cross section, single people and married professionals.

## Post 6 by starfly (99956) on Monday, 31-May-2010 22:42:20

hmm!! I guess its how you feel with yourself that counts if you wont to bee arround a person or not. Just my point of view. Seeings how I am married not much I can say here.

## Post 7 by cattleya (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Tuesday, 01-Jun-2010 11:32:23

I too am married, but my mother has been single for 24 years, and honestly I think she's happier without a man to answer to, fight with, invade her space, etc...She's looked a few times; (mostly in her younger days), but she just doesn't seem to be interested anymore, and that in my opinion is completely up to her. I wouldn't be happy without my husband, but if it had to be that way I'd learn to deal and I wouldn't go looking just so I wouldn't be alone. The way I see my marriage is this, I want to be with him, but if it's meant to be different I don't want anyone else. So, I'd have to be alone, and I'd deal with it. :) Be happy with yourself and screw what others think. They're judging you on their own points of views; (weaknesses)?

## Post 8 by Senior (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Thursday, 03-Jun-2010 18:57:05

If you ask them they might tell you.

## Post 9 by Harp (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Thursday, 03-Jun-2010 19:32:23

What has you being sighted got to do with the rest of this rant? I mean I take the point you're making and quite agree. We as humans all judge by our own standards. Think about it and you'll probably find that even you do it. You use clumping cat litter while your neighbor doesn't and you can't understand why they wouldn't do as you do. You'd never wear short skirts because they look slutty and can't understand why women would want to look like sluts. The antivirus product that you use on your computer is superior to anything that anybody else uses and so on. We all do it, all the time. Often it isn't even a conscious thing, it's just how we are as human beings.
But I still don't get the sighted reference at the beginning. LOL.
Dan.

## Post 10 by forereel (Just posting.) on Friday, 04-Jun-2010 0:14:21

Single is good. If one is happy with themselves then it is better when they find a mate. I am single now, date, but single, and the idea that a mate would complete me is bad. I am complete, so a mate would be nice, and is nice at times, but a single person that feels complete alone is a happy person. Smile. Add a mate and you are set.

## Post 11 by Rebecca A (Generic Zoner) on Friday, 04-Jun-2010 2:05:26

Exactly. I'm happy single, but wouldn't mind a mate. Being sighted has nothing to do with it other than reading body language a little easier.

## Post 12 by cattleya (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Friday, 04-Jun-2010 2:40:18

Interesting observation...If someone is sighted it is assumed that he/she must be completely unhappy when shingle, however, if one is blind it seems to be seen as the norm...IE, us blindies shouldn't want family, children, love, etc...At least that has been my observation...You can't imagine the reactions when I announced at 22 that I was getting (than got) married, or, when I talk about longing for a baby (or two or three) to make our home complete...LOL, sorry if the complete phraise came across odd...I've been working on the pc all night, and I'm brain dead and couldn't think of any other way of wording it...LOL, but my work is for another topic that I'll be posting about as soon as I'm caught up on the posts of interest...LOL, ok, I'm quitting rambling now. :)

## Post 13 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Friday, 04-Jun-2010 9:21:13

I totally agree with Harp's post. Why include being sighted? As for the rest of it, I'm happily married, but there's a kind of freedom being single too. I don't think it should be any less enjoyable. If you're comfortable in your own skin, there should be no problem being single until such a time that special someone should come into your life.

## Post 14 by Voyager (I just keep on posting!) on Sunday, 06-Jun-2010 20:29:21

I am blind and single, and many people still seem to expect that I should be looking/waiting for someone, especially since I've been married before. They don't understand my reasons for wanting only friends and a space to myself when I go home. They can't seem to fathom that I don't really experience romantic emotions and have no reason to want to change that aspect of my life. Being blind doesn't seem to make them expect less of me in that area.

## Post 15 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Sunday, 06-Jun-2010 21:04:19

Well in a way sighted or blind can enter into this topic since people who are surprised that you could be happy being single are also often surprised that you could be happy or even close to it being blind. It's a similar situation though admittedly ot exactly the same. But the reactions are often similar. And then sighted folks often wonder why the blind person doesn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend to "take care of them."

## Post 16 by forereel (Just posting.) on Sunday, 06-Jun-2010 23:48:31

I wanna a girlfriend "to take care of me" Lol. She can be blind too. Lol

## Post 17 by blw1978 (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Tuesday, 29-Jun-2010 2:25:57

I think the original poster was just trying to set the stage concerning her situation. . I think she's spot-on with the body language point. As much as some people would like to think sight isn't a factor in a relationship, it is! I'm not here to argue whether or not blind versus sighted is better. I just want to say that for many people, both blind and sighted, it is a factor. Now, I too think that we're just conditioned to believe that a person should want a romantic relationship or marriage. I think we identify with people most like us!

## Post 18 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Tuesday, 29-Jun-2010 12:31:19

I agree with post 2 and I will add to that:
Many people theorize that humans cannot be single. Lol! People should just mind there own business.

## Post 19 by squidwardqtentacles (I just keep on posting!) on Tuesday, 29-Jun-2010 16:43:10

I have been married for 8 years but in Boston I deal with more singles than where I came from in Tampa. I think single/married/divorced whatever is that person's business, and I have no interest in 'why' someone is single. I even know a 47 year old single womam looking to go from having a roommate to living by herself, so not everyone is happy living with someone. It's your business, if someone complements rather than complicates your life, pursue a close relationship with that person, if not be happy single. I thinks folks who a**ume others would be more happy married are probably unhappy on some level & would prefer to drag down a happy single.

## Post 20 by Senior (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Friday, 02-Jul-2010 18:24:18

Perhaps the sighted thing was mentioned because this is a site where most users are blind? I'm surprised by the level of reaction to it.
Anyway if you want to know why people think what ever they think, I recommend asking them. They might tell you, then you'll know.

## Post 21 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Friday, 02-Jul-2010 22:21:56

Good point lol.

## Post 22 by KC8PNL (The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better.) on Saturday, 03-Jul-2010 18:12:05

People assume that you want/need a relationship simply because it is a societal norm. I mean, particularly in professional environments that I've been in, everyone is married and/or has kids and expects the same from others. It's also expected that your significant other is also a professional in some similar capacity. Frankly, I don't care what these people think. They don't know me, so they can't possibly know what does or does not make me happy. Happiness, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

## Post 23 by icequeen (move over school!) on Sunday, 04-Jul-2010 15:36:50

All the more power to you if you enjoy your single life. Many people can't handle being alone, and get into or stay in relationships just to avoid it.

## Post 24 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 04-Jul-2010 16:29:43

For once, Senior, you and I agree. *Smile* I don't understand the strong reaction to Rebecca posting that she was sighted, either. I think both points made are true: all she was doing was telling us more about herself as a person, and also because so many of us are blind. I don't see why people are making an issue out of someone letting us know more about themselves.
Yes, it is societal conditioning that we be in a relationship. I also know that for many people, their biggest fear is being alone. I can definitely understand that, but I'm thinking that one has to learn to be happy in themselves before they can really be happy with a partner.

## Post 25 by forereel (Just posting.) on Monday, 05-Jul-2010 0:04:32

I'll take her sighted. No sweat. Lol

## Post 26 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Monday, 05-Jul-2010 23:28:54

People feel that sinse they don't like beeing alone that nobody else does.

## Post 27 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Friday, 16-Jul-2010 16:29:20

I recently dated a girl like that who dumped me for another guy and then seemingly expected me to jump into the arms of the nearest girl...or perhaps one I'd dated almost eleven years ago and whom I know too well to have any faith that it would work out.

## Post 28 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Tuesday, 20-Jul-2010 12:17:34

hmmm

## Post 29 by sabby (Generic Zoner) on Saturday, 08-Jan-2011 9:18:26

Hi Rebecca, yep I often get that too ... "are you still single, why are you still single, have you met anyone yet" ... lol! :)

## Post 30 by daileyt (Zone BBS Addict) on Friday, 28-Jan-2011 13:07:20

Hey if you're single and you're happy fuck what everyone else thinks! You see, everyone who's so quick to assume things about someone else, has to make somebody miserable because they don't want to be miserable by themselves! Also, they talk about other people because if they took a long look at their lives, they're boring as hell! So they gotta find somebody else to fuck with to get rid of that borednes.

## Post 31 by Lisa's Girl forever (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Friday, 18-Feb-2011 11:18:27

i'm single. and i'm happy. smiles.

## Post 32 by Voyager (I just keep on posting!) on Friday, 18-Feb-2011 11:29:04

But aren't you Lisa's girl forever?

## Post 33 by SisterMoon (Generic Zoner) on Sunday, 27-Feb-2011 3:00:11

Hi Rebecca.
I know exactly what you mean! I was alone for 9 years, without a guy in my life, and the social pressure for me to find someone was relentless! Now i am in a loving relationship with a wonderful man, but I wasn't looking for it. It just happened. Both of us feel that we are in a good place in our separate lives and we are happy together because we don't need each other to complete our lives, we simply want to be with each other because it makes us happy. In short, we want each other, we don't need each other. I think that every person has to go through certain things in life and sometimes it is better to do it on our own, without being in a relationship at the time. It is basically a matter of choice and to each his own!

## Post 34 by TechnologyUser2012 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Thursday, 03-Mar-2011 22:57:38

What I don't understand is why people care so much if someone is single or in a relationship. I mean, its not going to change or enhance their lives one way or another. I personally couldn't care less what someone's relationship status is... its none of my business, and I've got my own life to worry about. It would be nice if people just focused on their own lives instead of trying to fix everyone elses problems. If these people only knew how obnoxious they are!

## Post 35 by SisterMoon (Generic Zoner) on Friday, 04-Mar-2011 15:14:52

I think, for some reason, many people try to mind other people's business if they have something which they view as wrong in their lives. If they are unhappy, they may harp on other's so-called unhappiness, even if it is only unhappiness in their mind.

## Post 36 by TechnologyUser2012 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 04-Mar-2011 18:00:51

Yeah I agree. Its easier for them to try to solve other peoples unhappiness rather than deal with their own.