# Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by TexasRed (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Saturday, 16-Apr-2005 16:40:10

Your Church Is A Redneck Church if....the finance committee refuses to
provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members
knows how to play one.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people ask, when they learn
that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what
bait was used to catch 'em.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...when the pastor says, I'd like
to ask Bubba to help take up the offering, five guys and two women stand up.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... opening day of deer season is
recognized as an official church holiday.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the church
requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because It ain't never been
in a hole it couldn't get out of. (Love it!)
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the OK
Chorale.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500
members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is referred to as
branding.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ set
the dogs on the floor to howling.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people think rapture is what
you get when you lift something too heavy.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2
galvanized washtub.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes were donated
by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection plates are
really hub caps from a '55 Ford.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... instead of a bell, you are
called to service by a duck call.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife
drive matching pickup trucks.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's
Farm Tickled Pink.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Thou shalt not covet applies
to hunting dogs, too.
You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of the
benediction are, Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear!

## Post 2 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Sunday, 17-Apr-2005 9:26:42

what are they like smile...mind you that kind of church sounds ideal.