# Having blind issues.

Category: Let's talk

## Post 1 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Saturday, 22-Oct-2011 16:18:47

I'm sure this topic has been discussed many times before on the boards, but it happened to me again yesterday, and it takes me off guard every time I hear it. Someone says to the sighted person with me, what does he want to eat? Will he eat potatos? How does he want his hair cut? Or worse, how do you want his hair cut? Don't they realize I am very very tall for a 2 year old? lol! The sad thing is that I hear this from not only strangers, but from people I know, some of the kindest people you would want to meet, and I know in their case, it is not meant to be hurtful, or make me feel bad in any way, but why does it happen? why do they do it? And why don't they ever ask me what the sighted person with me wants to eat? Well, they might ask me if they want coffee, but only if the sighted person is not sitting with me at the table at the time. I have had this happen to me at an organization for the disabled, and even at an organization for the blind, of all places, this should not be an issue, maybe in this case some education is in order, I can't recall ever hearing someone ask someone standing next to a person in a wheelchair a question like that, well, maybe if the disability is more than a physical one.. So what is the answer? I don't believe being nasty or rude to the person will help, I think in most cases the person is not trying to be hurtful, but only trying to be helpful and they shouldn't have their head bitten off for it. So what do we do in a situation like this? I realize I cannot control other peoples actions, only my own, and we are not going to change the world over night, so it is up to us to make the best of the situation. I have not been blind all my life, so these issues are relatively new to me, I grew up visually impaired, and I have some vision left at this point, but, what vision I have left is useless in social situations. Any suggestions?
One of the best ways to avoid such awkwardness that I have found is to speak to the person first, but, this is not always possible and doesn't apply to every situation.

## Post 2 by cowboy1 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Saturday, 22-Oct-2011 17:15:28

it has to do with eye contact. Your sight comterparts can see the person approaching and make eye contact when you can't. You would be surprised how many times I have made eye contact from across a crowded room with a person of the opposit sex and she gives me that smile that says interest. Naturally I don't see this but others have told me. I have also heard someone approach and have turned towards the person and they think I am turning toward them and start talking to me without me knowing it is me. So that is the reason why. Try to pay attention to who is comeing up and the direction their head is pointing when more than one person is at the table.

## Post 3 by forereel (Just posting.) on Saturday, 22-Oct-2011 18:48:03

Okay. You seem to understand it, so why not just deal? Smile. It happens, forget it. Answer the question.

## Post 4 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Saturday, 22-Oct-2011 19:48:01

You have a point about the eye contact, that is one of the main ways sighted people know if someone is talking to them or someone else, that's information we don't have.

## Post 5 by wildebrew (We promised the world we'd tame it, what were we hoping for?) on Sunday, 23-Oct-2011 6:49:30

Úse a smart ass reply like "Oh, I think he wants to ..." without making more of a deal out of it. Then take the initiative in the conversation.
You're well spoken (well written I should say), and I have found, once you show that to the other person, they will accept you and be embaressed, as they should be, but all of that without you explicitly mentioning it or kicking up any sortof fuss.
At least this is how I deal with it, and it works well for me.
Have confidence in yourself and remember that it will come through to the person you're communicating with, and try not to let it bother you. It's just one of those things we got to deal with as blindies, not pleasant, but it is what it is.

## Post 6 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Sunday, 23-Oct-2011 10:49:52

That's a major reason why my last girlfriend and I didn't work out. Her parents, well her mother in particular, were extremely bad about that. Oh she'd talk to me like any normal person but when it came to finding out if I wanted something I.E. a snack or something to drink she would ALYWAYS! make Maria ask me, even if she was sitting directly across the table from me. About the only time she didn't do that was if Maria happened to be gone for a short time, and I could tell she was only asking me directly because her go-between was gone. And no matter how many times I or Maria told Florinda it was perfectly fine for her to ask me directly if I wanted something, she refused to get the message. And this is the ort of woman on whom smartass replies, however jokularly and inoffensively they might be delivered, do not work. And when told that she needed to ask me directly if I wanted something she simply replied that that wasn't true.

## Post 7 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 23-Oct-2011 12:17:33

Bryan, I think your GF's parents are probably in the minority as far as not listening. I agree with WB, I will often come back with a smart-ass remark, or at the very least answer the question myself before the sighted person with me can do it. Then I will often tell the person to please speak to me directly, and generally they listen. It also helps that my sighted friends and family know not to open their mouths when someone does that, and let me handle it.

## Post 8 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Sunday, 23-Oct-2011 16:56:09

Well she's been my former GF now for the last six or so months for that and a number of other reasons. LOL

## Post 9 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 23-Oct-2011 21:06:16

That doesn't happen to me very often, but these days if I'm out it's with my wife who's also blind, so people have to deal with us no matter what. I've related in other topics one occurrance of this which was awkward and got my sighted friend pissed. We were at a restaurant and the server whispered to her, she didn't even speak out loud. Poor ignorant server, I wonder what the hell she was afraid I'd do, chop her up with an axe for perceived insensitivity? Although my friend was new to interacting with blind people, she was pissed that the server asked her what I wanted as if I couldn't speak, and she would refer to that server as a bitch afterwords. I had to explain that the server wasn't being mean or bitchy, she just didn't know how to act.

## Post 10 by Leafs Fan (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Monday, 24-Oct-2011 12:49:30

Hi Tim. I don't know what the answer is, but this is one of the most irksome aspects of life as a blind person for me. As you said, it seems to happen a lot, in places where you'd least expect it, and yet it catches me off guard each and every time it happens. Thanks for bringing it up.

## Post 11 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Monday, 24-Oct-2011 13:28:38

Like I said it hadn't happened to me for years and then my now x girlfriend's mom started doing it and kept on doing it regardless of how many times we told her it was perfectly fine to ask me. But since in her eyes Maria should have been at my every beck and call regardless of her own feelings, she pretty much dismissed both mine andMaria's assurances. Ironic really since at any other time she'd talk to me quite normally.

## Post 12 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Monday, 24-Oct-2011 14:10:51

I tend to agree about the eye contact thing. More than most sighted people will admit, eye contact plays a huge part of their communication, and this is all reflexive and subconscious.
I don't believe they can really help it, though some I have told this to have gotten offended at my saying so. But on the other hand, there are basic manners we all must use, blind and sighted alike, and that includes speaking to the person in question and not to someone else about them, the way we blind people experience.
Every one of us runs into people, types of people, etc., that we have not come into contact with before. That is why basic manners exist: it's a way to deal comfortably with otherwise uncomfortable and rather awkward situations. This may sound harsh, but in my opinion, people who do this to us aren't very well-bred or well-brought-up. What stands in testament against their behavior is the countless sighted people who, themselves, may have questions, but as civilized members of society, choose to be polite instead.
Because I cannot help but look at their behavior in this context, I am no longer offended by them the way I once was. Of course it's bothersome, as is any rude behavior, but that is what it is: bad behavior, nothing more nothing less.
By way of example, I had never come into contact with someone in a wheelchair serving in the Coast Guard, before I joined. I didn't misbehave myself by going up to someone else and ask how could he go to Deepwater Horizon and participate? Like any other civilized human being with even the slightest modicum of an upbringing, I shook his hand, and thanked him for his service.
All I can say is: don't buy the "I've-never-seen-a-blind-person-before" act: That is precisely what social courtesies and basic civilized behavior is for. Rather than see it as offensive, see it as appallingly poor manners. Again, a majority of people don't do this, irrespective of their comfort level with a given situation. Part of what makes human society even possible.

## Post 13 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Tuesday, 25-Oct-2011 0:44:10

This has happened to people I know and to me once when I was a wee lad. lol!
This is how I see it:
Yes, eye contact, but also if you "look blind." What does this mean?
Well, a person can sence such things as posture, speaking ability, fidgiting, etc. Now these things can be interprited as demonstrating a lack of confidence. Why do I say that this looks blind? Am I saying that only the blind tend to give off such vibes? Goodness no! However, such things feed into the steriotypes of blindness. Really this means that we are at the mercy of ignorance as is often the case. However, if one appears assertive, those around him or her will take notice. I hope this all makes sense; I feel as though I am rambling.

## Post 14 by rat (star trek rules!) on Tuesday, 25-Oct-2011 10:33:04

i have to agree with the last post. i've dealt with this from time to time but because i don't fit in to the blind mode as it were most people will talk directly to me when asking questions unless say paperwork or something like that is involved in which case my gf will help.

## Post 15 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 25-Oct-2011 16:18:08

It does make sense, and because I don't, "Look blind," as it were, people talking around me doesn't happen too often. But it happens, even to the most nonstereotypical of us. It's just the way society works.

## Post 16 by cowboy1 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Tuesday, 25-Oct-2011 19:03:45

with me, it doesn't happen much anymore except when filling out paperwork. If I have my cane visible, folded up or not, the person always assumes asks the person with me if he/she will fill out the paperwork. This of course only happens if someone goes whith me. They don't ask me if I would rather the person at the counter fill it out, or the person with me. It might be that the person with me is just dropping me off and isn't my assistant, maybe a cab driver or something.

## Post 17 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Wednesday, 26-Oct-2011 3:22:34

Yeah, I get quite irritated most times, and not to mention disappointed, not that most of the world don’t already disappoint me. Mostly I am alone, but otherwise I usually confront them or criticize them for doing so and very vigorously too so they get the point. If I feel up to it I’ll mok them and gget them thinking that way too, but seriously? N! I don’t accept that kind of thing and they know it and they know I am angry. They usually get scared off.
When I am alone though they talk to me and we get along well most times just dandy and stuff. I usually have no problems with people and is well acquainted. The problems start when there’s someone with me. I’ve heard stuff like are you her helper or her mother and I am like hell no! now get serious! Not really to them, but thinking about it. But it really rather doesn’t help. And then they start going all about making excuses and getting defensive and t’s like well you caused it you idiot!

## Post 18 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Wednesday, 26-Oct-2011 20:45:23

I had this idea and always wanted to try it, but it seems I never remember to do it at the time, it goes something like this.
Waitress: What will he be having?
Friend, She wants to know what you are going to have.
Me: Tell her I would like a hamburger.
Friend: He says he wants a hamburger.
Waitress: What would he like on it?
Friend: she wants to know what you want on your hamburger.
Me: Tell her I would like lettuce pickel and ketchup.
Friend, He says he wants lettuce pickel and ketchup.
Waitress: Walks away embarrassed, or, at least I would hope she would.
Or how about this one?
Waitress: What will he be having.
Me to friend: See I told you I could do it!
Friend: Do what?
Me: Make myself invisible, and you didn't believe me, don't you feel foolish now? lol

## Post 19 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 4:11:05

tim, that is what they want to hear from you! you ccan't do that it is exactly how they want it to happen! just confront them. I usually tell them off and say look I am not stupid now talk to me you spineless idiot. or seriously? you know you're providing bad service, you know I can talk right?

## Post 20 by gizmobear (move over school!) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 7:53:30

gosh, when i first went blind i was so damn angry! this anger use to get the best of me because i too encountered cashiers, waiters, and sales people asking my friend,"does he wants this, does he need that," so i would be a real smart ass! some times i would point blank tell the person off and make a scene! so, i and my friend decided to act. when people would ask him what i wanted or such thing. he would reply,"ask him, he is standing right there!"
these days i dont make a scene if it occurs. i inform my companion to keep silent. to let me take care of the issue. i use humor at times. other times my self confidence carries me without any issues.
i agree, self confidence and acting like you own the store, or resturant or place of business you are at makes a difference.
every situation is unique so be pacient, keep your cool, and remember you are always educating.

## Post 21 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 10:26:32

I don't make a seen but I am not afraid to point out the sighted person's flaws.

## Post 22 by cowboy1 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 11:37:32

me neither, there is a difference between acting rude and childish and pointing things out. Remember it isn't just the person you are address that is forming an opinion and being educated, it is the person in line or walking by that has to put up with your tirade. You don't just represent yourself but others like you. You may not be stupid but outbursts give that impression but so does not speaking up. find that balance and do it from the point of taking the high road and that person will learn and ask questions, then you can educate them.

## Post 23 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 12:07:36

indeed.

## Post 24 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 12:52:46

My favorite one is to go I don't know, why don't you ask him? Or mynext favorite, "he'll have biscuits and gravy and bacon." Speaking of myself in third person in other words. LOL. Good ol' humor. Less likely to offend and and oftentimes most likely to get the person to get the right idea.

## Post 25 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 15:33:01

Some people still wouldn't get the hint. This has happened to me:
Sighted person: What will he be having?
Me: I'll have (what ever I said)
sighted person:
What would he like to drink?
You get the picture.

## Post 26 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 21:23:50

Well, usually my girlfriend will say, I don't know, he is right there, ask him. But I don't think that is even the best way to handle it, I usually like to speak up and answer for myself right away, ignoring the fact that the question was directed at my girlfriend, putting a stop to it right then and there, forcing them to address me directly. I don't think acting rude, making a scene, having a chip on your shoulder, or being difficult is the answer, it only creates a stereo type about blind people, the next time they see someone come in with a cane or guide dog they will think, oh great, here comes one of those blind people, what are they going to bitch and complain about now. Wouldn't it be better to be friendly and pleasant, joke around with them and make them feel at ease, and leave them feeling like, I enjoyed meeting that person, hope they come back again. Does that make sense? Well, that is my goal any way, that's something I want to work on.

## Post 27 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 22:07:39

so, if you feel speaking up yourself is the best option (which I certainly agree with) why make a mountain out of a molehill? it isn't anything adjust-worthy, in my opinion.

## Post 28 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 22:34:13

Yes Rachel, guess that's why I never tried my idea, cause I was afraid it would just backfire and make me look worse anyway, and Bryan, speaking in the third person may be another aproach that might work, a little humor can lighten things up as well.

## Post 29 by SilverLightning (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 22:46:40

I have a novel approach. If they ask someone else what you'd like, you simply answer them. It would look a little like this:
Waitress: "what would he like?"
me: "I'd like the hamburger please".
waiter: "What would you like on that sir?"
No sceen, no sarcasm, none of that. Think of this, the person in question has most likely never dealt with a blind person in such close proximity. If you answer sarcastically, because of the fact that they are probably nervous and unsure, they aren't going to take it as sarcasm, they're going to take it as if your serious. Thus, you simply look like an ass, not a person with a sense of humor; sarcasm only works if the other person knows your being sarcastic.
Just answer the question as if it were directed at you. Of all the things that we have to put up with, I think an inexperienced wait staff is very low on the list of things we need to get angry about. Now if they continue to do it, you might point it out to them politely, but there's no need to be an ass.

## Post 30 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Thursday, 27-Oct-2011 23:09:18

Agreed. I try not to be an ass unless I am really pushed to the boiling point which is not an easy task.

## Post 31 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Friday, 28-Oct-2011 11:56:09

SilverLightning, I agree, that's what I meant by speaking up right away when someone asks my girlfriend instead of me, letting them know they can speak directly to me, no sarcasm, no hard feelings. There is a difference between sarcasm and humor, humor makes everyone feel good. It's not always about wait staff though, it can come up any time, any where. When it is done by family or a friend, or an organization for the blind or disabled, or like in Bryan's case, a girlfriends parents, it's a little more irritating, I guess the same approach can be used but many times that doesn't work and they just keep doing it anyway.

## Post 32 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Friday, 28-Oct-2011 12:05:33

More often than not I've found humor to be an effective method for preventing crap like that from happening again in the future. It generally makes people feel good, especially if you deliver the comment in a friendly tone. The only person I've known where none of the usual methods worked was my x girlfriend's mom. Eventually Maria just gave up trying to explain it to her mom. Becaue I wasn't willing to do that and because there were a lot of other more serious issues between Maria and I I called it quits. And SIlver Lightning nobody's saying there's anything wrong with just tellingthe waiter what you want. But there's no harm in a little humor, even if that one person doesn't get the idea. Generally speaking even when you go to the same restaurant often you won't always get the same waiter or waitress. So you might get someone who gets the hint right away and feels cmfortable because you added that little touch of humor, either by going "I don't know, why don't you ask him?" or "he'll have biscuits and gravy." The point is you're still speaking up for yourself

## Post 33 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Sunday, 30-Oct-2011 15:51:47

You might as well get a few chuckles out of an ugly situation.

## Post 34 by SilverLightning (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 30-Oct-2011 17:16:41

Sorry, I should have been more specific. My post was more directed at the offensive sounding bits of sarcasm. referring to yourself in the third person, while I don't find it all that humorous, would probably not be taken with offense. However, you do have to be careful about it. Remember, your dealing with someone who is expecting you to be A. difficult, B. strange, C. complicated, or D. all of the above. They've probably never dealt with a blind person before, and this means that they are both curious and apprehensive about it. You can't really blame them. even the slightest misuse of voice tone, and you've gone from friendly customer with sense of humor, to over sensative baby with no polite social skills.
I would also like to throw my support behind the not looking blind. I don't think I can remember the last time anyone asked my friends or family what I would like to order. It just doesn't happen to me anymore.

## Post 35 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Sunday, 30-Oct-2011 19:36:55

Agreed.

## Post 36 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Sunday, 30-Oct-2011 21:00:18

Anybody ever read satire, how to be an ok blind person by Godzilla-On-Toast? That is what this is starting to remind me of, lol! check it out if you haven't read it.

## Post 37 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 31-Oct-2011 5:10:29

The way I see it is this. I think your best bet is to just speak up and answer the question. Be matter-of-fact, don't be a smart-ass or be bitchy. Even if you do speak up, though, there is no guarantee that the server or other customer service person will see the light and understand how to interact with the blind for the rest of their days. You have some folks who will get it or who at least will not be threatened by processing new input into their world view, and you've got others who will be resistent or who will ignore new input. Relax, enjoy your shoes, and understand you can't fix everybody or save everybody much as you wish you could. Also, it may be very personally satisfying to read every ignorant putz the riot act for their ignorance, but I fear the consequence of that will be that your target will then see all blind people as even more intimidating and unapproachable as they already think you are. You don't have to be some kind of model blind person, but just relax, be yourself, and offer up the info you were asked for even if it was indirectly.

## Post 38 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 31-Oct-2011 5:13:21

Oh, and Tim, thanks for the free plug. Yeah, go search for that thing, everybody, and give it a read.

## Post 39 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 31-Oct-2011 5:22:57

Oh, I want to make one more point. I really don't intend to be a board hog but this just came to mind. One thing I observe about people is that any group that thinks of itself as representing the norm or the ideal will see most if not all people outside of their group as all being alike. It's not just blind people, it's just anyone people don't understand or who they disagree with. I am not saying that this means that such a notion should be treated as truth just because it's perception, but just be aware you will run into it. Somebody might mistake you for another blind person even if you two don't look similar at all just because in their minds, all blind people are alike because they don't understand them or they are a mysterious and alien life form or whatever. It's as if we were all cloned in some mad scientist's lab somewhere. LOL!

## Post 40 by cowboy1 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Monday, 31-Oct-2011 9:19:39

couldn't have put it better myself.

## Post 41 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Monday, 31-Oct-2011 11:36:30

I agree with the speaking up approach. this is what I've always used, and it never fails. it usually leaves them feeling a little embarrassed/awkward, but not so much that it causes a scene or reflects badly on me, as well as the person I am with. I find the approach where the sighted person tells the server to ask you instead to be second best, although it doesn't solve as much as the assertiveness that speaking up does, because, after all, you still haven't spoken yet, so you haven't crushed the server's assumption that you can't order for yourself.

## Post 42 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Monday, 31-Oct-2011 11:52:26

Sometimes feeling a bit put off is not a bad thing because it teaches the person. We often learn from shame.

## Post 43 by cowboy1 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Monday, 31-Oct-2011 15:01:33

It depends on the approach taken though.

## Post 44 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Monday, 31-Oct-2011 19:48:20

Check out, Satire, How to be an ok blind person, let's see if this will turn into a link.
http://www.zonebbs.com/boards.php?t=19090

## Post 45 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Monday, 31-Oct-2011 19:50:52

Oh well, guess you'll just have to copy and paste it.

## Post 46 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Tuesday, 01-Nov-2011 10:35:25

try this

## Post 47 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Tuesday, 01-Nov-2011 19:01:36

Thanks margorp
, wasn't sure if we had to write out the html, now I know, lol.

## Post 48 by praisehimau (Newborn Zoner) on Tuesday, 01-Nov-2011 19:22:25

I just answer the question myself. if someone asks someone else something on my behalf i answer the question as if it were me they were addressing. I might be blind but i'm not stupid...

## Post 49 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Wednesday, 02-Nov-2011 12:21:56

Some folks seem to think we're dumb as a post.

## Post 50 by Rubber Duck (Zone BBS Addict) on Wednesday, 02-Nov-2011 17:45:30

On a lighter note, my girlfriend and I were shopping for a greeting card for a friend and neither of us could read it, so we asked a lady standing next to us if she would mind reading it, so she started reading it, and after a few seconds of awkward silence i said, um, we meant out loud. lol!

## Post 51 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Wednesday, 02-Nov-2011 18:40:37

oh boy lol.

## Post 52 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Thursday, 03-Nov-2011 10:38:12

LOL. I'm finding loads of material to ad to my tentative book.

## Post 53 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Thursday, 03-Nov-2011 11:57:01

It should be called "the sighted: not as great as they think they are." Lol.

## Post 54 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Thursday, 03-Nov-2011 18:44:56

Actually I'm thinking of calling the main book I'm Blind, Dammit! I settled on that title because of how sighted people often seem to mistake blindness for other things.

## Post 55 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Friday, 04-Nov-2011 0:36:51

hmmm I like that.

## Post 56 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Friday, 04-Nov-2011 13:21:28

So did I. My first thought was Here's your Sign but since that's the title of a Bill Engvall commedy sketch I figured I'd better change it.

## Post 57 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Friday, 04-Nov-2011 15:21:34

lol

## Post 58 by tallin32 (Veteran Zoner) on Saturday, 05-Nov-2011 13:00:25

I tend to take a tiered approach to situations such as this one. No no, hear me out on this.
First offense: I'll do what one of you suggested and answer the question as though it were directed at me.
Second offense: I'll actually point out that what they're doing is the wrong approach and that I can, in fact, speak English.
Third offense (or if this happens multiple times at a single location): I'll go up the management chain. If this is more than one person, obviously something is missing from their training. If this is one person doing the same thing that's called out in even the most pedantic "how to interact with the disabled" document&LT;sup>*&LT;/sup> as a faux pas, they need to be called on it—just as any habitually rude customer service person might.
Fortunately, as I tend to be generally fairly assertive anyway, this doesn't tend to happen much with the general public—which is good, because I've never quite figured out what to do when some random human is so offensive as to presume more than once that I'm incapable of speaking for myself.
&LT;sup>*&LT;/sup> Not that I put much stake in "How To Interact With The Disabled" documents. Why do we need a 30 page essay, for instance, on the Sighted Guide® Technique?

## Post 59 by tallin32 (Veteran Zoner) on Saturday, 05-Nov-2011 13:00:28

I tend to take a tiered approach to situations such as this one. No no, hear me out on this.
First offense: I'll do what one of you suggested and answer the question as though it were directed at me.
Second offense: I'll actually point out that what they're doing is the wrong approach and that I can, in fact, speak English.
Third offense (or if this happens multiple times at a single location): I'll go up the management chain. If this is more than one person, obviously something is missing from their training. If this is one person doing the same thing that's called out in even the most pedantic "how to interact with the disabled" document&LT;sup>*&LT;/sup> as a faux pas, they need to be called on it—just as any habitually rude customer service person might.
Fortunately, as I tend to be generally fairly assertive anyway, this doesn't tend to happen much with the general public—which is good, because I've never quite figured out what to do when some random human is so offensive as to presume more than once that I'm incapable of speaking for myself.
&LT;sup>*&LT;/sup> Not that I put much stake in "How To Interact With The Disabled" documents. Why do we need a 30 page essay, for instance, on the Sighted Guide® Technique?

## Post 60 by tallin32 (Veteran Zoner) on Saturday, 05-Nov-2011 13:03:26

AUGH! How did that get double-posted? And why do we not support the superscript tag?

## Post 61 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Monday, 07-Nov-2011 12:36:24

I agree. It seems most people, after you answer the question yourself, seem to feel quite awkward, and perhaps stupid, and never make this mistake again. If this is not the case after the second or thir time, something is wrong somewhere.

## Post 62 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Monday, 07-Nov-2011 14:06:30

makes sense

## Post 63 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Monday, 07-Nov-2011 16:14:10

Yeah really. That's one reason why my last relationship didn't work out, because her mom just would not get the hint.

## Post 64 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Tuesday, 08-Nov-2011 10:42:43

That's just sick, man.
I mean, it's not the dark ages anymore.

## Post 65 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Tuesday, 08-Nov-2011 13:04:17

That was pretty much my thought as well.