# How can I show him?

Category: Dating and Relationships

## Post 1 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Wednesday, 10-Feb-2010 18:12:31

Hi all.
I'm currently with a sighted guy as many of you know. I love him very much, and he's a seriously nice guy.
however he keeps trying to understand things from my point of view, especially physically. He asks me all kinds of questions I just can't answer.
I'm interested to know if any of you have had this issue, and how you've dealt with it.
thanks.

## Post 2 by Senior (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Wednesday, 10-Feb-2010 18:25:50

I haven't had that in a relationship, but I think the best thing to do si explain to him that he doesn't need to understand things from your perspective as a blind person, but if he wants to know more about what it's like to be blind, he can read about it on the net. You could point him in the direction of websites with useful information (not this one lol).

## Post 3 by season (the invisible soul) on Wednesday, 10-Feb-2010 18:33:44

Loui, i know how it can effect the relationship with things like that. personally i had those experienced before, and there's no good solution on it. i guess, perhaps, you both needing to have an open chat about it, on what you both feel comfortable with the situation of he being sighted and you being blind. i guess, the clue is, open communication.

## Post 4 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Wednesday, 10-Feb-2010 18:36:29

I've actually told him that, but I think he finds it fascenating and he wants to know because he's never been this close to a blind person before...
a few weeks ago, the lights went out in the building, and we were half way up the first flight of stairs and we had 3 to go, I guided him up the stairs because I wanted him to see that I wouldn't need to go back to the bottom and turn the lights on again.
ever since then he's really been interested in how i do things, how I can do some things but not others. like the fact I can navigate really quite well, but how it's dependant on weather conditions.

## Post 5 by season (the invisible soul) on Wednesday, 10-Feb-2010 18:40:19

what about this for an idea. have him blind foulded for half a day or a day, and leading him thru the blind world? that might help him to understand grater than words, or explaination. cause, as you said, there's sometime, no explaination towards everything that we do. :)

## Post 6 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Wednesday, 10-Feb-2010 19:07:02

that could be interesting, except in restaurants, where I rely on him to read, lol!

## Post 7 by blw1978 (I'll have the last word, thank you!) on Monday, 15-Feb-2010 17:19:27

I've had this happen as well. First, I agree, that he doesn't have to understand things from your perspective, and you don't need to understand his. Just answer the questions as best you can, try not to make a big deal of it and insert some humor where appropriate. Then, just ask him how he does things. Sometimes, sighted people don't realize just how "normal we are. If this persisst and you find it annoying, just explain politely, that you've done the best you can to explain things, and hopefully, that will be the end of it. I'd guess though, that as the two of you get to know each other better, this might become less of an issue.

## Post 8 by forereel (Just posting.) on Tuesday, 16-Feb-2010 1:09:00

I agree blind fold him for a day. Take him as you normally travel, say out to dinner or whatever. Give him a cane. No it won't totally explain, because he knows he'll be able to turn on his sight anytime, but it might help. I only had sighted people around me for a long time, girlfriends and all, so never really got ask this, but if he's asking be a sport and try hard to explain. Don't get bothered, just enjoy his interest.

## Post 9 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Wednesday, 17-Feb-2010 13:14:48

see, one thing about him is that he is totally paranoid when I'm making food.
for example, if I'm cooking meat or something and I touch it breifly to see how cooked it is, he really freeks out, same when I'm taking things out of the oven and stuff. he thinks you need sight for these things.
we reached a sort of compremise, where he just leaves the room when i'm cooking so he won't nag me all the time, but no matter how hard I try to explain, he doesn't understand how I can cook without sight, even when he eats the results and enjoys it.

## Post 10 by Miss M (move over school!) on Wednesday, 17-Feb-2010 21:17:50

I'm with the blindfold idea. Have him put one on and teach him how to cook something very basic without using his eyes.

## Post 11 by season (the invisible soul) on Wednesday, 17-Feb-2010 22:03:32

Loui, i guess it is a concept that a sighted person perhaps won't understand no matter how hard you try. and my personal experience proved that. as long as it is not something will interfeering your both relationship, that will be all fine. just take time to prove to him that, blind people live just like a sighted people too. he'll understand more, with the time past.
maybe talk to him about the blind fould idea. can start at home, maybe you can try to guide him to make a cup of tea or things like that, then, perhaps he'll understand better.

## Post 12 by forereel (Just posting.) on Wednesday, 17-Feb-2010 23:14:11

Ah, but you see I think his interest is sweet and should be look at that way not as an "how can I explain." If he ask how do you know about the food take his hands and should him. If he says how do you know say when to turn left at the corner walk with him to the corner and turn left a few times. It's not something I'd look on as a project, or something that needs a plan to finish like a job, or lesson, but as him being interested. As I said before I just relax and enjoy the attenchen. Smile. And invite him back in to the kitchen. It's muffin baking time.

## Post 13 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Thursday, 18-Feb-2010 0:13:14

oh, sorry if I gave the impression that his interest worried or bothered me at all, because it doesn't, and I'm glad he's taking an interest rather than just saying how amazed he is that a blind person can do all this stuff. instead he's trying to find out how i can actually do it.
and you're right, Forereel, it is really sweet. good idea about the cooking though. having him run from the kitchen rather than watch me take out a hot tray from the oven is one thing I would like to put a stop to.

## Post 14 by Dirty Little Oar (I'd rather be rowing.) on Thursday, 18-Feb-2010 11:51:47

My ex-husband used to freak out every time I cooked. I used to make him leave the kitchen too. I tried the blindfold thing with him once. He walked around the house for 5 minutes and decided he knew what it was like to be blind and therefore he knew what was best for me. The problem in my situation was he wasn't really interested in how I did things. He just believed I couldn't do anything no matter what I told him or proved otherwise and he took it upon himself to be my protector. And that partially explains why he is an ex-husband. It's great that your guy is interested in how you do things. I'm not sure it's something he can truely ever understand, but as long as he believes in your abilities and supports your independence then he sounds like a keeper to me. Good luck.

## Post 15 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Thursday, 18-Feb-2010 13:37:49

I've never had this issue, but I think the posters of this topic have given you good advice.

## Post 16 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Thursday, 18-Feb-2010 15:53:13

I can certainly understand why he's an ex husband, bunny.
I had a bf like that. he worked for a blindness organisation, and I thought that would be great at first, but the thing is, is that he wanted to do everything for me, rather than let me be independent, and would come out with things like 'you don't need me'.
but Peter isn't like that, he is perfectly happy to let me do things. he doesn't try to take over or anything. he did this at first, but he could see it annoyed me a lot, so he stopped that quickly.
not only is it annoying, but it's dangerous to have a boyfriend who wants to seize hot trays out of your hand. this is a fact that I've always tried to relay to people, especially after someone on an astronomy course ended up with a led counterweight on his foot when he snatched the telescope I was working on out of my hands.
but I digress, I'm going to suggest the blindfolding thing this weekend, and will let you all know how I go.

## Post 17 by season (the invisible soul) on Thursday, 18-Feb-2010 21:02:37

sounds like Peter is similar with whom i dated past. try the blind fould idea, and see how you goes. keep us update. :)

## Post 18 by forereel (Just posting.) on Friday, 19-Feb-2010 3:03:51

I'm glad you see my point and it's attenchen not pesting. Just do it. I could get on a rant about that, but. Smile.
Let us knowl.

## Post 19 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Sunday, 25-Apr-2010 14:35:09

well, as an update, I blindfolded Peter for a few hours before I came home and I showed him how I do things that he always tries to stop me doing.
I showed him how to make tea, take a hot tray from the oven and some other small things.
the best thing is is that now he doesn't feel the need to run away from the kitchen when he sees me handling hot things...