# What do you do when you get emotionally attached?

Category: Animal House

## Post 1 by Jasmin (Account disabled) on Sunday, 04-Mar-2007 17:18:03

Hey all,
I'm writing because I need some advice. There's a humane society in our part of town where I fell in love with the most sweet cat. The problem is, he has fiv wich is cat aids. Anyway, the reason i say he's the sweetest cat is because he's awefully gentle and purrs a lot when you pet him, and he licks each little part of your hand so I tease him about giving my hand a bath, and he loves to be held and is a lap cat. I gave him a treat once and somehow he took my hand with his paw and guided my hand to his mouth and gently took it from my hand. I thought that was the cutest thing because I've never seen any kind of animal do that and be so gentle about it. The next time I see him I want to give him another one and see if he'll do the same thing again. I just love to visit him whenever the shelter is open. He always remembers who I am to which makes it even better. I went there on Tuesday and I guess he was sleeping, but the minute I said his name, he jumped off the ledge on his cage and came up to the door and started purring and I opened it and picked him up and pet him for a little while. I went there on Saturday and he got sick because some stupid person put him in a room with all kinds of sick cats. Someone said the reason was because he has aids, and I'm like, no no, he can die if you leave him in there, and I don't know how I'd take it. Now he was fine before this, but then he caught a horrible cold and I don't know if he'll make it. I desperately want him to. It's not the aids that kills, just other things. So he put his paws up on my chest and I picked him up and he wouldn't let me put him back in his cage and when I did he kept reaching out a paw and tapping the cage I guess for me to come back, but I couldn't. He had his head down and everything and I felt so guilty. I wish I could adopt him, but my roommate already has a cat and my boyfriend might get one to. I don't know how expensive the vet bills are either. I just want to know how come I feel so depressed when I come home and can't stop thinking about him. I guess in some kind of way, he touched me, and no other cat there has. I feel so happy when I'm with him, and so miserable when he's not there. So I need some advice on what to do. Should I stop going there? I don't want to, I want to spend as much time with him as I can. I just don't want him to be put to sleep. He's too sweet for that. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know.

## Post 2 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 04-Mar-2007 23:00:49

Jasmin, that's a really hard call. We had a cat with HIV. It was the most heart-wrenching experience of my life to watch her decline. It's been over ten years now, and I tear up thinking about her.
I guess my first thought is it isn't fair to your room mate's cat to expose her to the disease. To ignore this cat is probably very difficult for you. My thought is I'd probably to continue visiting him/her at the Humane Society. They have volunteers who come in and walk dogs an other chores, and when you look at it, this isn't much different. It's also not much different than people who come into the hospitals to rock crack-adicted babies in the sense that they are offering the baby love and support. Good luck with your decision.
Lou

## Post 3 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 05-Mar-2007 2:14:19

Oh, Jasmin, that's heartbreaking. I know what it is when you find a cat that you just bond instantly with. That's how it was with my Shadow. The difference there was, I was able to adopt him,and have a precious year with him before he died.
I'm not sure what I can say to comfort you. It is true that if you adopted him, you'd have to have him around other cats with FIV. Like humans, cats with FIV can live long lives until the disease really takes hold. I don't know if you're a praying person or not, or what other beliefs you have. But personally, I would pray for this kitty. For his health, that he finds a loving home, even if it can't be with you, or that somehow, maybe you could find a way for him to have a home with you. Geminai, if you're reading this board, could you send Reiki energy to this cat? I know I will.
In the mean time, Jasmin, just visit him when you are able. I'm sure you're a bright spot in his day. Let us know how he is, and if anything changes with him.

## Post 4 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Monday, 05-Mar-2007 8:31:28

So if the cat begins to suffer due to his FIV you will refuse to ease his suffering because you love him..that's not love it damned selfish. If you really love the cat you will do the decent thing when the time comes.

## Post 5 by Perestroika (Her Swissness) on Monday, 05-Mar-2007 8:38:19

Jasmine, I had the same issue with my cat Stalin.
she was very ill and gettingsicker and sicker, although i loved her, i had to have her put to sleep as it was just too cruel to keep her alive.
If you love him, which i'm sure you do, the best thing for him is to be put out of his misery. Animals are often canny reatures, they know you love them and they seem to love you all te more when they come to realise what you're doing. My cat somehow knew i was doing the best thing for her.
Animals are rarely stupid.
don't get me wrong, it will take you a long time to fill the spot he leaves behind, but letting him suffer,or hoping that he sufffers for longer can't be good for him.
there's really not a lot that can be done for him, feline aids is quite seious.
*hugs*

## Post 6 by sugarbaby (The voice of reason) on Monday, 05-Mar-2007 9:05:38

feline aids is serious. And death from it is slow and debilitating.
You can't adopt this cat, he will infect your other cats and that's not fair to them.
This isn't about you, it's about the cat and what's best for him. And when the time comes, what's best for him is to be put out of his suffering.

## Post 7 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Monday, 05-Mar-2007 10:04:23

I know that this is an extremely hard thing to be going through, but like others said, even if you were able to adopt the cat, you really couldn't do that, because you would be exposing other cats to the feline AIDS. That said, though, it does appear that the two of you have developed an incredible bond. I know that it's not up to you whether or not the cat gets put down. That's up to the Society to decide. But, just always try to think of him, and what will be best for him when the time comes. It's most certainly going to be heartbreaking, and very difficult to get through, but you have to keep the cat's well-being in your mind and heart. Eventually, and unfortunately, the poor thing will have to be put down, so that he doesn't suffer. I know that there's really no words that could ever make you feel better about it, but just always know that you gave him something incredible, and for that, he loves you very much.

## Post 8 by Musical Ambition (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Monday, 05-Mar-2007 10:07:27

Oh, and one more thing. Even though it'll be hard for you to do, and it will make you sad, if I were in your situation, I'd continue to visit with him. You have given him so much, and you should continue to do so. If it were me, I wouldn't be able to walk away from him. In my opinion, that would be hurtful to him, and he'd miss you very much. He has developed a bond with you, so, my advice, is to keep that bond going.

## Post 9 by Jasmin (Account disabled) on Monday, 05-Mar-2007 10:15:59

Yes, I guess I'll visit him as long as I can. I guess even the vet bills I probably couldn't pay for, so I'm ok with that. I just wish he'd get out of the room with the sick animals, that won't help things at all. They say he's only a year and a half I think, but even if I got him and was only to keep him for a year, then I guess that would be pointless, sort of. So I'll see him as much as I can and keep him company. I just hope someone will adopt him and he can keep that person company to since he's sucha loving cat. Thank you all for your advice, it makes me feel a little better.

## Post 10 by motifated (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 05-Mar-2007 14:30:52

When it is time to put the kitty down, please remember that the most honorable thing for the cat is being done. I wanted to put Samantha down weeks earlier, but my wife had different ideas about that. It was positively gutwrenching for me to see this incredibly loving cat live in suffering. Good luck, and know that we're all rooting for you.
Lou

## Post 11 by Jasmin (Account disabled) on Monday, 05-Mar-2007 15:45:29

Well, I guess I'll see how he's doing tomorrow, I just hope he gets better, but who knows. WE might look into fostering, but I'm not sure on that one, but it would be good to give a cat a home for a little while, than have it be locked up in a cage. They look so miserable being that way. So I'll see tomorrow what's going on. Thanks to everyone again. This all helps, and I'm glad I wrote in for help.

## Post 12 by Big Pawed Bear (letting his paws be his guide.) on Monday, 05-Mar-2007 17:32:57

the concern should always be for the cat in these situations.

## Post 13 by Shadow_Cat (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 06-Mar-2007 4:25:20

Hi, all. Jasmin, I thought of one more thing. When I lived in Iowa, there was a no-kill animal shelter called Animal Lifeline. Many of their cats had feline AIDS, and of course had to be put in their own area. Some of these cats were adopted, others weren't. However, even if someone could not adopt a cat with FIV, but felt bonded to one, they could help sponsor it. That is, they could make a certain donation per month, or however often they wished, toward that particular cat's care. That could be money for vet bills, better food than the shelter could afford, blankets, toys, or whatever the cat seemed to like. Perhaps you could make an arrangement to sponsor this cat in a similar way. Just a suggestion.