# the smilths

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by sugarbaby (The voice of reason) on Thursday, 10-Nov-2005 12:19:23

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their
family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well,
I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door
baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell,
hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he
said, "I've come to...'' "Oh, no need to explain,"
Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting
you." "Have you really?" said the photographer.
"Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my
specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had
hoped. Please come in and have a seat."
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do
we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try
two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a
couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different
positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My,
that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line
of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be
disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said
Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out
a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on
the top of a bus," he said. "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith
exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins
turned out exceptionally well - when you consider
her mother was so difficult to work with." "She was
difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I
finally had to take her to the park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and
five deep to get a good look." "Four and five deep?"
said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than
three hours, too. The mother was constantly
squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate,
and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
actually chewed on your, um... equipment?" "It's
true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up
my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to
rest my Canon on. It's much too heavy to be held in
the hand very long."
With that, Mrs. Smith fainted...

## Post 2 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Thursday, 10-Nov-2005 12:25:41

don't get it

## Post 3 by sugarbaby (The voice of reason) on Thursday, 10-Nov-2005 12:28:52

never mind sg, if ya don't get it, it doesn't need explaining, grin

## Post 4 by AngelKisses (An angel with no Halo) on Sunday, 13-Nov-2005 18:05:23

u don't get it? she thoughtthat dude came to impregnante her and he was talkin about pics and shethought he was talin about sex

## Post 5 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Monday, 14-Nov-2005 13:39:45

hahhahaha nice one. *wicked grin*

## Post 6 by fuzzy101 (The master of fuzz!!) on Sunday, 13-Aug-2006 23:49:10

lol