# thank you for calling...

Category: Joke Board

## Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Sunday, 24-Jun-2007 11:53:58

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to
the MotherShip.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will
tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before
the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too
busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the guns down, hang up, turn on the fan,
lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up."

## Post 2 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Sunday, 24-Jun-2007 13:48:00

oh, hahaha!. that's funny. will have to give it a call, haha

## Post 3 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Monday, 25-Jun-2007 13:12:35

&LT;lol> hahahaha!
Oh, and....
click.

## Post 4 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Monday, 25-Jun-2007 19:14:45

fabulous!

## Post 5 by sparkie (the hilljack) on Monday, 25-Jun-2007 19:50:48

Good one!
Troy

## Post 6 by changedheart421 (I've now got the bronze prolific poster award! now going for the silver award!) on Monday, 25-Jun-2007 20:35:12

just made me laugh