#c
,help.s;s

,i sat 9 ! pass5g] s1t ( my mom's c>1 p>k$ 9 front ( my hi< s*ool4 ,x 0 my
f/ "d & ,i 0 tot,y bl4 ,a few weeks 2f1 :ile visit+ my gr&p>5ts1 my eye
41se _h r1*$ xs f9al /age4 ,i cd no l;g] walk 0myf4 ,:5 %opp+ at ! groc]y
/ore1 my gr&"m saw me /um# 96a 4play rack1 & %e notic$ t ,i didn't seem 6be
a# 6foll[ h]4 ,%e ask$ me if %e cd hold my >m 6guide me4 ,i lau<$ (f h]
su7es;n4 ,!n %e sd1 8,i "k y don't ne$ any help+1 b let me l1n on yr elb[1
6take a ll wei<t (f my old w1k knees40 ,i agre$1 al? ,i wond]$ :o exactly 0
help+ :om4 ,x 0 /range t my gr&"m didn't say any?+ or %[ any surprise4 ,9
fact1 %e seem$ 6be prepp$ = ? mo;t4 ,s1 :y wasn't ,i8

,p>k$ 9 front (! hi< s*ool1 my "m want$ 6walk me 9side b ,i abruptly sd no1
n want+ 6look /upid 9 front ( my frs4 ,!n ,i notic$ 0h] sil;e t ,i _h hurt
h] feel+s4 ,i squeez$ h] h&4 8,i j want 6d ? 0myf10 ,i sd quietly4 ,z ,i
walk$ up ! /airs 6! s*ool 5tr.e1 ,i ?ru/ my cane \ 9 front ( me1 pok+ ea*
/air 2f ,i /epp$ up on x4 ,! guy :o _h sold me ! cane _h giv5 me a qk
lesson3 "r =e>m re/+ on "r hip1 "r wri/ flick+ ! cane 9 front ( ea* /ep4
,if bl p d x t way1 ,i ?"\1 !n ,i w d x di6]5tly4 ,al? ,i didn't "k x1
,mrs4 ,mundy1 a t1*] =! bl s5t 0! /ate1 wat*$ my /umbl+ 5tr.e4 8,gd morn+10
,i he>d1 & ,i immly notic$ ! ov]ly sweet sc5t ( h] p]fume4 ,i hop$ %e
wasn't talk+ 6me4 8,gd morn+10 %e rep1t$ =m,y2 h] l>ge fle%y palm & f+]s
r1*$ \ & swall[$ my puny h&4 8,i'll 2 assi/+ y s"eal p]iods a "d--e "d40
,h] voice 0 husky & s]i\s1 ) no trace ( play;l;s4 8,yr cane te*nique is
sloppy & 4grace;l10 %e didn't wa/e "t say+4 ,!n %e m>*$ me up & d[n !
hallway demon/rat+ h[ 6tap my cane 9 front ( "o foot & !n ! o!r4 ,:o 0 ?
total /rang] humiliat+ me 9 front (! :ole s*ool8 ,x 0 ! f/ "d ( s*ool1 &
all ,i want$ 6d 0 6hang \ ) frs4 ,9/1d1 ,i 0 provid+ ! 5t]ta9;t4 ,until ?
po9t1 my ang] fl[$ \ at ! _w l wat] f a spr9kl]1 spray+ 9 too _m direc;ns
6be dang]\s1 b 9 my brief meet+ ) ,mrs4 ,mundy1 ,i _h f.d a t>get1 a p]fect
c&idate on :om 6focus ! =ce ( my rage4 ,i hat$ my cane alm z m* z ,i 0
le>n+ 6hate ,mrs4 ,mundy4 ,9 my m9d !y bo? repres5t$ ! va/ gulf t exi/$ 2t
me & "ey"o else4 ,no matt] h[ h>d ,i tri$1 ,i'd n"e 2 a# 6bridge t
9surm.ta# expanse4

,e>li] t summ] my "m _h al pu%$ me 6use a cane1 b ,i swore 6myf t ,i n"e
wd4 ,i purposely b5t !m 0plac+ "o 5d on a b5*1 ! o!r on ! pave;t1 &! mi4le
2n ! wei<t ( my foot4 ,my "m1 j z /u2orn z me1 3t9u\sly b"\ new "os4 ,"o "d
%e _h refus$ 6let me l1ve ! h\se un.s ,i br"\ ! cane4 ,i _h refus$1 & %e _h
refus$ 6let me l1ve4 ,i felt se>+ ang] fl[+ up l a volcano4 8,y're a bit*60
,i yell$4

8,if ,i'm a bit*10 %e repli$ calmly1 8!n y're a son (a bit*4 ,& y're / n
l1v+40 ,f9,y ,i _h rel5t$ & left )! cane dra7+ 2h me4 ,i met my fr ,*ris 9
t[n & we /ood on an ov]pass1 li/5+ 6! ro> ( c>s z !y sp$ 2l u4 ,:5 ,i he>d
a s.d br1k 9 tra6ic1 ,i laun*$ ! cane l a javel94 ,x l&$ help.sly on !
road1 & 6my amuse;t ,*ris describ$ x wri?+ & recoil+1 l a snake1 2n !
onru%+ tires4 ,he c.t$ al\d h[ _m c>s x took 6snap ! fragile metal frame4
,af rep1t visits1 ,i'm sure p wond]$ ab all ! snapp$ canes ly+ dormant on !
side (! road4 ,ano!r "t1 feel+ ! metal sew] grat+ "u my feet1 ,i exclaim$
s>ca/ic,y1 8,:oops60 & dropp$ my cane d[n 2t ! slots1 he>+ x plunk l a 4>m$
torp$o 96! quagmire4

,i 2came 9cr1s+ly cl"e 9 f9d+ malici\s ways 6de/roy my canes1 b ,i didn't
c.t on ,mrs4 ,mundy's p]sev].e4 8,i w l1d y f class 6class until y le>n
prop] cane te*nique10 %e /at$4 ,9 response1 ,i twirl$ ! cane >.d 9 my h& l
a ,h>lem ,globe ,trott] p]=m+ ball tricks4 ,%e =c$ me 6take h] >m & l$ me
d[n ! hall 9 front ( my classmates4 ,i he>d !m /ep back1 keep+ _! 4t.e1
all[+ me 6pass4 ,i _h g"o 6s*ool ) ^! kids s9ce fif? grade1 b ,i knew !y
look$ at me z if ,i 7 a /rang]1 a fragile porcela9 egg ^: %ell cd easily
crack & ooze vile yokey fluid all ov] _! %oes4 8,i'm ! same p]son10 ,i
want$ 6scr1m \4 8,i'm / ,]ik4 ,i may n 2 a# 6see y4 ,i may 2 =c$ 6hold an
>m & sw+ ? dorky cane1 b ,i'm / ! same p]son t y've alw "kn40 ,al? ,i see!d
) humili,n1 ,i 3t9u$ 6hold ,mrs4 ,mundy's >m ti<tly1 2c m p[];l ?an my ang]
0 my fe> ( 2com+ lo/ 9 ! surg+ sw>m ( /ud5ts4 ,i l[]$ my h1d & clut*$ h] >m
ti<t]1 try+ 6block \ ! bu/l+ life (! hallway &! frs ,i knew 7 wat*+4 ,my
muscles /ay$ t5se2 a 3t9u\s /ab ( emb>rass;t %ot "? my n]ve 5d+s1 mak+ me
sw1t4

,mrs4 ,mundy dropp$ me (f at ma? class & pick$ an empty *air front & c5t]4
8,? way ! t1*] c make sure y're foll[+ al;g10 %e sd4 ,i 0 lo/ anyway4 ,my
textbooks _h be5 brld1 b my f+]s w]5't hon$ 5 6deciph] ! 9=m,n fa/ 5\<4
,al? ! t1*] tri$ 6v]balize ! equ,ns %e 0 writ+ on ! bo>d1 ,i cdn't rememb]
!m4 ,my 3c5tr,n 0 made worse 0! fact t1 s9ce ! 2g9n+ (! s*ool "d1 ,i _h
ne$$ 6use ! ba?room4 ,) ,mrs4 ,mundy p>ad+ me >.d all morn+1 h["e1 ,i
refus$ 6su6] ! a4$ humili,n ( 2+ l$ 6! ba?room4 ,i squirm$ 9 my s1t1
3/antly %ift+ posi;ns4 ,f9,y1 ! 9t5se pressure 9 my bla4] \twei<$ my bruis+
pride4 ,i rais$ my h& & sd t ,i ne$$ 6use ! re/room4 ,! t1*] ask$ me if ,i
ne$$ assi/.e4 ,i quietly repli$ no4 ,:5 ,i got up1 a few kids ru%$ 6help me
6! door4 ,i elud$ _! grasp1 b\nc$ (f a *air1 & f9,y f.d ! exit4 ,w&]+ d[n !
hallway1 ,i didn't h a clue ": ! ba?room was4 ,f9d+ lock]s 9 front ( me1 ,i
*ose a r&om "r1 !n a left1 & !n ano!r "r4 ,af a :ile1 ,i cdn't recall !
ord] (! "rs & lefts4 ,i w5t back 6": ,i ?"\ ,i _h made ! la/ turn1 b ,i
r1*$ \ & t\*$ a classroom door4 ,no?+ >.d me 0 famili>1 l ^? ni<ts :5 ,i _h
sat up f a deep sleep & cdn't rememb] ": ,i was4 ,i 2came frantic1 walk+
fa/ & reck.sly "? ! halls4 ,mrs4 ,mundy f.d me runn+ my h&s al;g ! wall (!
hallway look+ =! ba?room door4 ,app>5tly1 my t1*] _h call$ ! (fice on !
9t]com &! secret>y _h track$ h] d[n4 8,:at >e y do+ \ (! classroom
unsup]vis$80 h] big voice boom$4

8,? sucks10 ,i mum#d1 / runn+ my h&s al;g ! wall1 hop+ ! m5's room wd appe>
s ,i'd h an escape4

8,well1 x's go+ 6suck ev5 worse if y l1ve ! classroom unassi/$ ag10 %e sd4
8,n[ take my >m & ,i'll take y 6! ba?room & !n back 6class40

8,i c't g back 6class10 ,i murmur$4

8,y c & y w10 %e repli$ firmly4

8,no6 ,i won't g back10 ,i sd ag4

8,& :y n1 "y man80

8,well10 ,i sd sl[ly1 8,i turn$ fifte5 a week ago & ,i j pe$ 9 my pants 2c
,i cdn't f9d ! ba?room4 ,i hav5't pe$ 9 my pants s9ce ,i 0 ?ree40 ,mrs4
,mundy 0 quiet =a few seconds z if h] m9d 0 scann+ ! bl;s manual = an
appropriate response4 ,f9,y1 %e simply sd1 8,oh1 h"oy40 ,!n1 %e put h]
fle%y >ms >.d my %\ld]s & pull$ me ag/ h]1 my h1d press$ ag/ h] massive
bosom4 ,i cd he> h] br1?s cat*+ 9 h] ?roat4 8,oh1 h"oy40

,! next "d ,mrs4 ,mundy 0 back 6busi;s4 ,l a major giv+ ord]s 6a private1
%e 9=m$ me t ,i wd le>n ,brl s t ,i cd keep up ) my classes4 ,i want$ no "p
( ?2 ,i _h alr le>n$ 6r1d 9 f/ grade & n[ ? lady 0 tell+ me t ,i wd le>n x
ag & ? "t ) t9y splatt]s ( dots &) fumbl+ f+]s t cdn't deciph] "o ^w f
ano!r4 ,! idea seem$ ludicr\s4 ,2ss1 ,brl 0 only = bl p1 &! only bl p]son
,i _h "e he>d ( 0 ,/evie ,wond]1 & 8 h1d bo2$ >.d way too m* = my lik+4 ,i
purposely tri$ 6ob/ruct any ,brl lessons4 ,"o morn+ ,i br"\ 9 my brld r1d+1
assign$ = home"w ! ni<t 2f4 8,did y r1d x la/ ni<t80 %e ask$4

8,oh1 y1h10 ,i repli$4

8,!n1 r1d x n[40 ,i posi;n$ ! pap] 9 front ( me1 crack$ my knuckles1 &
cle>$ my ?roat4 ,/>t+ ) my 9dex f+] on ! upp] left-h& corn] (! pap]1 ,i
scann$ ! top l9e1 z if w>m+ up4 ,af a few m9utes ,mrs4 ,mundy jump$ in4
8,f/ ( all1 sit up /rai<t & squ>e yr %\ld]s4 ,h[ d y expect 6r1d ,brl ) yr
body slump$ 9 t *air4 ,secondly1 yr pap] is upside-d[n40

,seem+ly fru/rat$1 ,mrs4 ,mundy left ! room =a cup ( c(fee1 a bad move alt4
,:ile %e 0 g"o ,i plac$ my cane s x /uck \ f my *air 96! aisle4 ,return+1
%e kick$ ! cane1 fum#d h] c(fee1 recov]$1 & !n /ood 9 9dignant sil;e4

8,oh1 um1 sorry10 ,i sd lamely4 8,i'll move t40

8,?ank y10 %e repli$1 h] jaw cl5*$4

,two "ds lat] %e left ! room ag dur+ r1d+ "t4 ,i f.d a suita# ^w &1 ) my
f+]nail1 scrat*$ \ a few dots1 s t ! p]fectly 9noc5t ^w %e _h typ$ n[ =m$ a
dirty ^w4 ,:5 %e return$1 ,i po9t$ \ ! ^w & ask$1 8,:at's ? ^w1 ,mrs4
,mundy8 ,i don't ?9k ,i've se5 t ^w 2f40 ,%e /udi$ ! ^w c>e;lly1 l1n+ ov] !
desk & cran+ h] neck1 & !n a noise emanat$ f deep 9side h] *e/ & grew 9
volume4 8,i didn't type t60 %e gr[l$4

,i don't ?9k ,mrs4 ,mundy _h m* fai? 9 my abilities4 ,s f>1 ,i _hn't re,y
giv5 h] any r1son 62lieve 9 me4 ,/1 %e p]si/$ 9 t1*+ me all ! bl skills %e
cd ?9k (3 h[ 6use a ,brl typewrit]1 h[ 6erase ,brl dots )a /ylus 9/1d ( my
f+]-nail1 h[ 6d ? & h[ 6d t1 & h[ 6be a gd ll bl boy4 ,"o morn+ %e sd1 8,i
wd l 6-e 6yr h\se s ,i c set up yr /ove & ov5 ) ,brl labels4 ,y %d 2 a#
6func;n 9dep5d5tly 9 ! kit*540

8,don't bo!r10 ,i repli$4 8,i've got x all cov]$4 ,j ? morn+ ,i cook$ myf
up an omelet40 ,x 0 ! late/ fad 6sep>ate ! egg :ites f ! yolk 6cut d[n on
*ole/]ol1 s ,i ?rew 9 a ll flair4 8,( c\rse1 ,i only us$ ! :ites40

8,h[ did y sep>ate !m80 %e ask$4

8,) an egg sep>ator4 ,x's pretty easy 6feel ! di6];e 2t ! yolk &! :ite40

8,i don't 2lieve y10 %e sd matt]-(-factly4

8,:y don't y 2lieve me8 ,don't y 2lieve a bl p]son c sep>ate ! yolk f !
:ites80

8,i didn't say t10 %e snipp$4 8,i simply don't 2lieve y c d x40

,:at 9furiat$ me m ?an h] n 2liev+ me 0 ! fact t %e 0 "r4 ,i _h made up !
:ole /ory4 ,b :at did h] qk & c]ta9 4belief say ab me1 ab my capabilities8
,h[ cd %e write me (f s easily8 ,9 my m9d1 ! /ory alm wasn't a lie1 2c ,i
want$ s badly 6be a# 6d ?+s l ?4 ,i knew t ,i %d 2 a# 6sep>ate a yolk f !
:ite4 ,"! 0 no r1son :y ,i cdn't1 t is1 if ,i *ose 6le>n h[4

,at lun* ,i escap$ f ,mrs4 ,mundy's /]n eye & 5t]$ ! cafet]ia on my [n4 ,!
cafet]ia 0 my wor/ fe>4 ,x _h s m* pot5tial = 4a/]3 an "e-%ift+ maze ( ta#s
& pu%$-\ *airs1 & fa/-mov+ bodies c>ry+ load$ trays4 ,if ^? haz>ds w]5't 5
6s5d me flail+1 ! 9sidi\sly scatt]$ book bags surely w]e4 ,! place 0 l !
video games ,i play$ :5 ,i cd / see1 9 : ,i 0 ! t9y rocket %ip1 plung+ "? !
galaxy 6avoid a/]oids1 space junk1 & las]s fir$ f ali5 space%ips4 ,x's only
a matt] ( "t 2f ,i'm oblit]at$ 96a million t9y pieces4 ,! f/ week ( s*ool1
,mrs4 ,mundy l$ me "? ! lun* l9e1 hold+ my tray & plac+ on x ! v>i\s
,/yrofoam c>tons ( food4 ,%e alw (f]$ 6br+ my tray & me 6a ta# full ( boys1
b ,i alw ask$ h] 6br+ me 6an empty ta# 9/1d4 ,i cdn't 2 l$ 6a ta# full ( my
frs4 ,i'd r 2 =gott54

,on ? "d1 h["e1 ,i 0 on my [n4 ,9 ! l9e1 ,i tri$ n 6:ack my cane ag/ !
p]son's leg 9 front ( me4 ,i f.d ! c.t] & slid my tray al;g x until ,i he>d
! r+ (! ca% regi/]4 ,i manag$ 6pay ! ca%i] & get \ ( l9e4 ,my frs *att]$
away at a ta# f> 6! "r4 ,mit*'s l\d *all5g+ voice 0 my guide1 b ,i _h 6get
"? ! maze4 ,i mov$ halt+ly1 my tray slant+ 6! "r & !n 6! left &! food &
dr9k c>tons slid+ >.d prec>i\sly4 ,x wasn't grace;l1 & s"eal "ts1 w1v+ >.d
ta#s & book bags br"\ me 6a d1d 5d1 b ,i 0 def9itely n>r[+ ! 4t.e4 ,:5 ,i
seem$ alm on top ( _! l\d boi/]\s voices1 ! ta# w5t su45ly sil5t1 l "s"o _h
flick$ (f a swit*4 ,i knew1 9 a s5se1 "s"o _h4 ,i imag9$ ,mit* giv+ ! ta# (
boys ! h& signal = imm sil;e4 ,i /ood ) my tray1 only 9*es away f _! ta#4
,i didn't "k :at 6d1 ": 6g4 ,i cd h manag$ 6f9d a *air & sit d[n despite
!m1 b 9/1d ,i back$ away1 c>e;lly retrac+ my /eps 6an empty ta# a few feet
away4 ,z soon z ,i />t$ 6eat1 ,mit* m/ h flick$ on ! swit*1 2c _! voices
abruptly explod$ ag4 ,i 0 surr.d$ 0! hu/le & bu/le ( /ud5t life--food
fi<ts1 dirty jokes 2+ pass$ back & =?1 favorite sports t1ms 2+ debat$--b ,i
seem$ 6exi/ 9 a cocoon4 ,! b>ri] 2t !m & me 0 z r1l z an oc1n fill$ ) sea
crocs1 z tangi# z ! b>s (a prison4 ,9 my m9d's eye1 ,i cd / see4 ,"? ! b>s
,i wat*$ all ! excite;t1 ! adv5ture1 & exhil>,n pass+ me by4 ,i sat at my
empty ta# until ,i knew "ey"o else _h left ! room 2f ,i summon$ ! c\rage
6make my way \ (! maze4

,t afn1 my ,5gli% lit]ature class r1d & 4cuss$ .,! .,ra9b[1 0,d4 ,h4
,lawr;e4 ,my assign;t 0 6r1d al\d a passage 6: ,i p]son,y relat$4 ,mo/ (!
class _h alr g"o 2f me4 ,i _h tri$ 6avoid 2+ c5t] /age 2c ( my 9exp]i;e
r1d+ ,brl4 ,n[ ,i _h be5 call$ up & "! 0 no escape4 ,i cd feel "ey"o's eyes
on me z ,i tapp$ ) my cane 6! front (! room4 ,i took \ ! passage t ,mrs4
,mundy _h help$ me 6type 9 ,brl4 ,i lay ! ,brl pap] flat on ! desk1 sat up
/rai<t1 & squ>$ my %\ld]s4 ,my f+]s f.d ! top left corn] (! page1 mov$ d[n
6! f/ l9e1 & 2gan 6plod acr ! page4 ,! ^ws came halt+ly3


8,he 0 9 an agony ( help.s;s4 ,he cd d no?+4 ,vaguely he knew ! huge p[]s
(! _w roll+ & cra%+ tgr1 d>kly1 clumsily1 /upidly1 yet colossal1 s t "o 0
bru%$ al;g alm z du/4 ,help.s1 help.s1 swirl+ l du/1 yet he want$ s badly
6rebel1 6rage1 6fi<t1 b ) :at8 ,cd he1 ) 8 h&s1 fi<t ! face (! ,e>?1 b1t !
hills 9 _! places8 ,yet 8 he>t want$ 6fi<t1 6fi<t ! :ole _w4 ,& ^! two
small h&s 7 all he _h 6d x )40


,afws1 =! re/ ( class1 ,i sat at my desk1 ?9k+ ab ! ^ws & lett+ !m p5etrate
"? me4 ,i 0 s tir$ ( 2+ l$ >.d s*ool1 & tir$ ( my [n bumbl+ 9compet;e2 ,i 0
sick ( t1*]s' protective wat*;l;s1 _! syrupy1 d-gd] help;l;s2 ,i cdn't /&
my classmates look+ d[n on me1 & ev5 worse1 _! 4com=t4 ,!y didn't "k h[
6act1 :at 6say1 h[ 6r1* \ &1 9 return1 ,i _hn't giv5 !m any help4

,fre%man ye> 9 hi< s*ool wasn't suppos$ 6feel l a prison4 ,x 0 a f/ *.e
6exp]i;e a t\* ( freedom & 6make *oices1 ev5 bad "os4 ,x wasn't suppos$ 6be
l ele;t>y s*ool ": t1*]s made deci.ns = y & y ate :at"e !y slapp$ on yr
tray 9 ! cafet]ia4 ,9 hi< s*ool1 y *ose yr [n electives1 & y pick$ \ yr [n
food 9 ! cafet]ia1 *eeseburg]s & ,fr5* fries1 & ano!r ord] ( fries if y
want$ x4 ,o!r kids cd g ": !y want$1 :5 !y want$4 ,!y cd *oose 6skip class4
,!y cd r1d smut & sn1k 96;,r-rat$ movies4 ,a "p ( me knew t 0ma/]+ all ^!
new skills1 ,i wd fo/] my [n freedom1 b t wd take ="e or ev5 l;g]4 ,my body
& m9d _h be5 gr[+ & matur+1 gett+ me r1dy = ? mo;t1 &)a bang1 bl;s _h s5t
me ski4+ back 6ele;t>y s*ool4 ,my fifte5-ye>-old m9d cri$ \ = freedom4 ,i 0
le>n+ 6r1d1 6c>ry my [n tray1 6move >.d ! hallway1 all ov] ag4 ,my life
seem$ 6be go+ 9 rev]se4

,i t\*$ my h&s tgr4 ,!y 7 puny & my f+]s 7 sk9ny4 ,!y w]5't h>d & callus$ l
,mit*'s h&s2 !y w]5't big 5 6palm a basketball l my bro!rs'2 ,mrs4 ,mundy's
h&s dw>f$ !m4 ,b z 9significant z !y w]e1 z ,i was1 ,i cd feel a h>d;s
ga!r+ up 9side me4 ,5 is 5\<1 ,i resolv$4 ,i wd n 2 =c$ 6play 0o!r p's
rules4 ,i wdn't 2 /ifl$ at a "t 9 my life :5 ,i want$ 6be %ot \ (a rocket4
,i _h 6escape f ? box4

,at my lock] ,i ja2$ ,*ris1 :o 0 rummag+ 9 8 lock]1 j 2l m9e4 8,y want 6get
! hell \ ( "h80 ,i ask$ hm4 ,*ris was1 0f>1 ! smalle/ kid 9 s*ool4 ,he 0 !
bi7] kid's f/ & favorite c&idate :5 !y ne$$ a gu>ante$ scapegoat4 ,s1 6-bat
! bi7] boys1 ,*ris 2came 9visi#4 ,he ev5 4play$ 9visibil;y 6me4 ,8 voice
project$ s(tly f 8 %ort /ature & (t51 9 ! mi4le (a 3v]s,n1 he wdn't
respond4 ,i'd r1* \1 & he'd 2 g"o4 ,b ! devi\s ll sp>k t bub#d up n[ & !n
defi$ ! meek;s4 8,i 0 go+ 6skip ? afn anyway10 ,*ris repli$ )\t any
hesit,n4

,mrs4 ,rol&1 \r vice pr9cipal1 9fam\s = h] massive squatty legs /u6$ 96gre5
/ret* pants1 _h sat me d[n a week 2f & told me1 8,we've n"e _h a bl /ud5t4
,i've met ) all ! t1*]s1 adm9i/rators1 & local busi;s [n]s ne> ! s*ool &
told !m 6wat* \ = y4 ,we want y 6be safe & happy 9 yr new 5viron;t4 ,we've
made a deci.n t y %d n l1ve ! build+ unsup]vis$40

8,o!r kids >e all[$ 6g 6_! c>s 9 ! p>k+ lot dur+ free p]iods & >e a# 6l1ve
9 ! afn :5 !y don't h any m classes10 ,i prote/$4

8,x's = yr [n safety10 %e 5d$4

8,screw h] goddamn help;l;s1 & screw h] goddamn safety10 ,i _h sd afws
6,*ris4

8,squeez+ h] fat ass 96/ret* pants e morn+ is m (a safety haz>d ?an y cd "e
be10 ,*ris _h sd4 ,i imag9$ h] huge legs squeez$ 96-bu/i# gre5 ti<ts1 /1m+
& groan+ "u ! build+ pressure until1 f9,y1 fat & gri/le explode "? !
hallway l %rapnel4

,*ris & ,i da%$ \ a side door & acr ! empty p>k+ lot t[>d ! woods4 ,*ris
saw my cane wav+ 9 front ( me4 8,dit* t ?+10 he sd urg5tly4 8,y mi<t z well
we> a neon sign say+1 ,8,i'm ! lo/ bl boy4 ,if f.d1 pl1se return 6,mrs4
,rol&40'0 ,i fold$ ! cane up & foll[$ ,*ris's pitt]-patt]+ /eps4 ,tripp+
ov] spe$ bumps & curbs & cra%+ 96p>k$ c>s1 ,i d\bt$ ,i 0 draw+ less att5;n4
,*ris _h an unregi/]$ motor scoot] hi45 9 ! woods n f> away1 s =! re/ (!
afn we cruis$ back roads1 me fr1k+ ,*ris \ 0putt+ my h&s 9 front ( 8 eyes4
,on ! way home we he>d a sir54 ,*ris sp$ up & ,i slid back acr ! v9yl s1t4
,he cut "r d[n a dirt road1 "? ! woods1 & popp$ \ at ! bottom ( my road4
,putt]+ up t[>d my h\se1 we scatt]$ ! "y] kids play+ basketball on !
cul-de-sac4 ,we b\nc$ up my driveway & ?rew ! bike 96! g>age :ile ,*ris ran
96! h\se4 ,j z ,i slamm$ ! g>age door1 a police c> roll$ up ! driveway4 ,i
smil$ 9noc5tly4 ,! cop knew me4 8,":'s ! driv] (! mop$1 ,]ik80 he ask$
impati5tly4 8,let's hope y w]5't driv+4 ,:at a police report t wd make40
,he lau<$ a big belly lau< & ,i pret5d$ 6lau< ) hm4

8,i don't ev5 "k ! guy's "n4 ,i j cau<t a ride f hm4 ,he &! bike >e l;g
g"o40

8,x's n t ,i don't want 62lieve y10 he sd politely1 8b "!'s a :ole lot (
smoke p\r+ \ ! cracks ( yr g>age4 ,! bike wdn't happ5 6be 9 yr g>age8 ,wd
x80

8,oh1 no6 ,def9itely n40

8,:y don't y *eck = me80

8,don't y ne$ a se>* w>rant = t k9d ( ?+80 ,i ask$ meekly4

,he lau<$ 8 grt belly lau< ag4 8,y've obvi\sly be5 wat*+ too m* .,hawaii
.,five-#j40 ,9 sl[ mo;n1 ,i b5t ov]1 pret5d+ ,i 0 hav+ tr\# f9d+ ! g>age
h&le4 ,my body didn't want 6"w4

8,>e y go+ 6op5 x80 he ask$1 los+ 8 lau<+ t"o4 ,i f.d ! h&le & roll$ up !
door4 ,bo? ( u /ood /ock-/ 9 front (! op5+4 ,f9,y1 ,i sd1 8,w[6 ,t's re,y
/range4 ,x's 9 "! af all4 ,he m/ h put x 9 "! )\t me "k+40

8,s1 y've gott5 yr si<t back1 ,i see4 ,:at a miracle60

8,no60 ,i repli$1 try+ 6keep ! sympa?y tra9 roll+ a ll l;g]4

8,!n h['d y "k ! bike 0 9 "!80

8,ahhhh ''' ,i smell$ ! smoke80 ,! cop lau<$ ag4

8,y dumb asshole10 ,*ris sd angrily1 ! next afn 9 det5;n4 8,y smell$ !
smoke8 ,h[ cd y 2 s /upid80

,ev5 ?\< ,*ris & ,i 7 bo? gr.d$ =a mon?1 we'd sn1k \ at midni<t4 ,i felt
protect$ 0! d>k;s4 ,at ni<t al;g c.try roads or 9 ! woods1 we 7 all equal4
,i cd run z fa/ z any"o1 ev5 fa/]4 ,i cd f9d a gd hid+ spot "? ! 5d ( my
cane4 ,my f+]s cd l9e up a mat* )! fuse (a *]ry bomb4 ,on quiet sleep+
/reets1 ,i cd he> c> 5g9es approa*+ f a l;g way (f2 x 0 ,i :o %\t$ ! signal
= u 6dive 96! bu%es1 2f ,*ris cd ev5 see ! h1dli<ts4

,"o ni<t ,*ris & ,i /ood 9 front ( ,mit*'s h\se1 j 2y ! por* li<ts4 ,i
/1l?ily op5$ 8 mailbox1 a huge roll ( firecrack]s trail+ 9 my h&4 ,i press$
! l;g fuse 2t my f+]s1 )a c5timet] ( fuse protrud+1 & /ruck ! mat* ) my o!r
h&4 ,) trembl+ f+]s1 ,i held ! mat* ": ,i ?"\ ! 5d (! fuse was4 ,te/+ 6see
if ,i 0 9 ! "r loc,n1 ,i mov$ ! mat* sl[ly t[>d my f+]s1 feel+ ! 9cr1s+ h1t
(! small blaze 2f x burn$ !m4 ,:5 ,i he>d ! sizzle1 ,i ?rew ! firecrack]s
in1 slamm$ ! mailbox %ut1 & ran z if ,mit* 0 "r 2h me--r1dy 6kick my face
d[n ! hallway4

,ly+ 9 ! woods1 ,*ris d>$ me 6moon a c>4 ,i 0 eag] 63tribute 6! t1m ef=t1 s
soon ,i 0 /&+ on ! grass 2s ! road1 my hood pull$ ov] my face & my scrawny
b>e rump po9t$ \ 6! oncom+ c>s4 ,two c>s simply drove by4 ,i tri$ 6imag9e
_! expres.ns3 amus$1 gross$ \1 & horrifi$4 ,i didn't want any"o 6recognize
me 0my :ite cane ) r$ gl[-in-!-d>k reflectors1 s ,i hid x 9 front ( my
body4 ,i didn't c.t on ! next vehicle 2+ a van full ( hi< s*ool s5iors4 ,!y
scree*$ 6a halt1 :oop+ & holl]+1 & pil$ \ 9 hot pursuit4 ,! p]il (! situ,n
sunk sl[ly 96my bra91 & h1vy l1d seem$ 6s9k 96my legs4 ,i imag9$ a gang1
be] cans 9 h&1 ea* guy twice my wei<t b>rel+ t[>d me1 ea* vy+ 6be ! f/ 62g9
pummel+ ! bl p]v]t4 ,my h&s1 hold+ up my pants1 didn't seem 6"w4 ,i dropp$
!m & my j1ns flood$ d[n >.d my ankles4 ,i cd he> ! fa/e/ boy only a few
feet away1 & ,i broke f ! tr.e & bolt$ =w>d & d[n ! road4 ,my pants1 >.d my
ankles1 =c$ me 6take t9y rapid /eps1 & my cane tapp+ 9 front ( me fell 96!
same fa/-mo;n rhy?m4 ,ev5 at ? awkw>d /ride1 my pursu]s fell 2h & ,i wond]$
:e!r !y _h /opp$ 2c !y 7 too busy lau<+ at ! biz>re si<t4 ,i d>t$ left1
tw5ty feet d[n a trail1 & !n "r1 96! woods4 ,i ?rew myf d[n 9 "s bu%es &
lay "! try+ 6sil;e my gasp+ br1?s4 ,! boys sy/ematic,y -b$ ! =e/ = an h\r4
,"o boy came )9 five feet ( me4 ,any clos] & he wd h tripp$ ov] my leg4 ,i
he>d 8 deep h1vy br1?+ & !n he yell$1 8,i bet ^! >e ! same ll ba/>ds t blew
up my mailbox40 ,i _h =gott5 ab ,mit*'s ?ree old]1 ev5 t\<]1 bro!rs4 ,i
%u4]$1 hop+ !y didn't h fla%li<ts1 imag9+ ! li<t reflect+ (f my pa/y
backside4 ,:5 !y f9,y left ,i got up %akily & :i/l$ = ,*ris4 ,a ?\s& po9ts
( pa9 /a2$ ! front ( my body1 & ,i r1liz$ ,i _h be5 ly+ b>e fle%$ on a
prick] bu%4 8,:at's t1 ,prick] ,dick80 ,*ris sd :5 ,i told hm :at ,i _h be5
ly+ on1 & he lau<$ at me =! next h\r z ,i pluck$ prick]s f my mo/ s5sitive
( >1s4

,*ris & ,i _h be5 s]v+ af-s*ool det5;n =! la/ two weeks4 ,we 7 deta9$ 9 a
classroom1 ! sup]vis+ t1*] (t5 l1v+ alt4 ,i _h be5 5c\rag$ 0my p>5ts &
t1*]s 6li/5 6books on tape1 & ,i f9,y got excit$ ab r1d+ :5 ,i 4cov]$ ! ^ws
8/r;g descrip;ns ( sex0 next 6"s (! books li/$ 9 ! ,brl catalog4 ,i ord]$
s"eal4 ,i br"\ "o tape 6det5;n & laid ! tape record] on ! ta#4 ,ab t5 boys
7 s]v+ t "d1 & :5 ,i play$ ! explicit sec;n al\d1 !y all ru%$ 6! ta#1 ga!r+
closely >.d4 ,!y urg$ me 6play ! be/ "ps ov] & ov] ag1 & 6turn ! volume up
z well4 ,!y all li/5$ 9t5tly1 hang+ on e ^w1 & at ! juicie/ "ps !y let \ a
muzzl$ *e]4 ,*ris1 / 9directly blam+ me =! 3fisc,n ( 8 motor scoot]1 pip$
in1 8,t's no?+4 ,y %d see 8 ,brl .,playboys40 ,"ey"o 9 ! room lau<$1 &=!
re/ (! afn ,i _h 65dure an 5d.s s]ies ( jokes ab ,brl .,playboys4

8,d !y -e ) scrat* & sniff80

8,t gives a :ole new m1n+ 6feel+ up a girl40

8,s t old wives' tale is true ab h[ p g bl40

,i cdn't help b lau< al;g too4 ,pl5ty ( p want$ 6help me4 ,lots ( !m want$
6keep me safe & happy4 ,"! 7 a few :o s9c]ely c>$ ab me & want$ me 6ga9 !
skills t wd help me 6su3e$4 ,maybe1 d[n ! road1 ,i wd actu,y 2g9
6appreciate "s ( ^? p &! ?+s !y (f]$4 ,= n[1 ?\<1 ,i 0 look+ = "s"o j l me1
a ll asshole1 full ( ang]1 rebellion1 & sp>k1 :o ,i cd call my fr4
