
    ,,*APT] ,,XXXII
  ,& S ,MI*AEL 0 ULTIMATELY SOLD 6"O
,JACOB ,H5D]SON = TWO ?\S& DOLL>S4 8,&
,I'M GIV+ HM AWAY 6Y AT T10 SD ,COLL9S4
8,IF Y DON'T REFUSE FIVE ?\S& = HM 2F
SIX MON?S1 ,I DON'T "K ANY?+ AB ! %[
GAME4 ,HE'LL SK9 T LA/ >I?METIC DOG (
YRS 6A F9I% & Y WON'T H 6%[ YRF & "W E
M9UTE (! TURN4 ,& IF Y DON'T 9SURE HM =
FIFTY ?\S& Z SOON Z HE'S MADE GD Y'LL 2
A FOOL4 ,:Y1 ,I WDN'T ASK ANY?+ BETT]1
IF ,I 0 "Y & FOOTLOOSE1 ?AN 6TAKE HM \
ON ! ROAD MYF40
  ,H5D]SON PROV$ TOT,Y DI6]5T F ANY MA/]
,MI*AEL _H _H4 ,! MAN 0 A NEUTRAL SORT (
CR1TURE4 ,HE 0 NEI GD NOR EVIL4 ,HE NEI
DRANK1 SMOK$1 NOR SWORE2 NOR DID HE G
6*UR* OR 2L;G 6! ,Y4,M4,C4,A4 ,HE 0 A
VEGET>IAN )\T 2+ A BIGOT$ "O1 LIK$ MOV+
PICTURES :5 !Y 7 3C]N$ ) TRAVEL1 & SP5T
MO/ ( 8 SP>E "T 9 R1D+ ,SW$5BORG4 ,HE _H
NO TEMP] :AT"E4 ,NOBODY _H "E WIT;S$
ANG] 9 HM1 & ALL SD HE _H ! PATI;E (
,JOB4 ,HE 0 EV5 TIMID ( POLICEM51 FREI<T
AG5TS1 & 3DUCTORS1 ?\< HE 0 N AFRAID (
!M4 ,HE 0 N AFRAID ( ANY?+1 ANY M ?AN 0
HE 5AM\R$ ( ANY?+ SAVE ,SW$5BORG4 ,HE 0
Z COL\R.S ( "* Z ! NEUTRAL-COL\R$ CLO!S
HE WORE1 Z ! NEUTRAL-COL\R$ HAIR T
SPRAWL$ ^U 8 CR[N1 Z ! NEUTRAL-COL\R$
EYES ) : HE OBS]V$ ! _W4 ,NOR 0 HE A
FOOL ANY M ?AN 0 HE A WISE MAN OR A
S*OL>4 ,HE GAVE LL 6LIFE1 ASK$ LL (
LIFE1 &1 9 ! %[ BUSI;S1 0 A RECLUSE 9 !
V HE>T ( LIFE4
  ,MI*AEL NEI LIK$ NOR 4LIK$ HM1 B1 R1
M]ELY A3EPT$ HM4 ,!Y TRAVELL$ ! ,UNIT$
,/ATES OV] TGR1 & !Y N"E _H A QU>REL4 ,N
ONCE DID ,H5D]SON RAISE 8 VOICE %>PLY
6,MI*AEL1 & N ONCE DID ,MI*AEL SN>L A
W>N+ AT HM4 ,!Y SIMPLY 5DUR$ TGR1 EXI/$
TGR1 2C ! CURR5TS ( LIFE _H DRIFT$ !M
TGR4 ,( C\RSE1 "! 0 NO HE>T-BOND 2T !M4
,H5D]SON 0 MA/]4 ,MI*AEL 0 ,H5D]SON'S
*ATTEL4 ,MI*AEL 0 Z D1D 6HM Z HE 0 HMF
D1D 6ALL ?+S4
  ,YET ,JACOB ,H5D]SON 0 FAIR & SQU>E1
BUSI;S-L & ME?ODICAL4 ,ONCE EA* "D1 :5 N
TRAVELL+ ON ! 9T]M9A# TRA9S1 HE GAVE
,MI*AEL A ?OR\< BA? & ?OR\<LY DRI$ HM
AFW4 ,HE 0 N"E H>% NOR HA/Y 9 ! BA?+4
,MI*AEL N"E 0 AW>E :E!R HE LIK$ OR 4LIK$
! BA?+ FUNC;N4 ,X 0 ALL "O1 "P ( 8 [N
FATE 9 ! _W Z X 0 "P ( ,H5D]SON'S FATE
6BA! HM E S (T54
  ,MI*AEL'S [N "W 0 TOL]ABLY EASY1 ?\<
MONOTON\S4 ,L1V+ \ ! ET]NAL TRAVELL+1 !
N"E-5D+ JUMPS F T[N 6T[N & F C;Y 6C;Y1
HE APPE>$ ON ! /AGE ONCE EA* NI<T = SEV5
NI<TS 9 ! WEEK &= TWO AFN P]=M.ES 9 !
WEEK4 ,! CURTA9 W5T UP1 L1V+ HM AL"O ON
! /AGE 9 ! FULL SET T 2FITT$ A BILL-
TOPP]4 ,H5D]SON /OOD 9 ! W+S1 UNSE5 0!
AUDI;E1 & LOOK$ ON4 ,! OR*E/RA PLAY$ F\R
(! PIECES ,MI*AEL _H BE5 TAU<T 0,/EW>D1
& ,MI*AEL SANG !M1 = 8 MODULAT$ H[L+ 0
TRULY S++4 ,HE N"E RESPOND$ 6M ?AN "O
5CORE1 : 0 ALW 8,HOME1 ,SWEET ,HOME40
,AF T1 :ILE ! AUDI;E CLAPP$ & /AMP$ XS
APPROVAL & DELI<T (! DOG ,C>USO1 ,JACOB
,H5D]SON WD APPE> ON ! /AGE1 B[+ & SMIL+
9 /]EOTYP$ GLAD;S & GRATE;L;S1 RE/ 8 "R
H& ON ,MI*AEL'S %\LD]S )A PLAY-ACT$
ASSUMP;N ( -RADELI;S1 ":^U BO? ,H5D]SON
& ,MI*AEL WD B[ ]E ! F9AL CURTA9 W5T
D[N4
  ,& YET ,MI*AEL 0 A PRISON]1 A LIFE-
PRISON]4 ,F$ WELL1 BA!D WELL1 EX]CIS$
WELL1 HE N"E KNEW A MO;T ( FREEDOM4 ,:5
TRAVELL+1 "DS & NI<TS HE SP5T 9 ! CAGE1
:1 H["E1 0 G5]\S 5 6ALL[ HM 6/& AT FULL
HEI<T & 6TURN >.D )\T TOO UNCOM=TA#
SQUIRM+4 ,"S"TS1 9 HOTELS 9 C.TRY T[NS1
\ (! CRATE HE %>$ ,H5D]SON'S ROOM ) HM4
,O!RWISE1 UN.S O!R ANIMALS 7 HEW+ ON !
SAME CIRCUIT "T1 HE _H1 \TSIDE 8 CAGE1 !
FREEDOM (! ANIMAL ROOM ATTA*$ 6! "PICUL>
!ATRE ": HE P]=M$ = F ?REE "DS 6A WEEK4
  ,B "! 0 N"E A *.E1 N"E A MO;T1 :5 HE
MI<T RUN FREE (A CAGE AB HM1 (! WALLS (A
ROOM RE/RICT+ HM1 (A *A9 %ACKL$ 6! COLL>
AB 8 ?ROAT4 ,9 GD W1!R1 9 ! AFNS1
,H5D]SON (T5 TOOK HM =A WALK4 ,B ALW X 0
AT ! 5D (A *A94 ,& ALM ALW ! WAY L$ 6"S
P>K1 ": ,H5D]SON FA/5$ ! O!R 5D (! *A9
6! B5* ON : HE SAT & BR[S$ ,SW$5BORG4 ,N
"O ACT ( FREE AG5CY 0 LEFT 6,MI*AEL4
,O!R DOGS RAN FREE1 PLAY+ ) "O ANO!R1 OR
2HAV+ BELLICOSELY4 ,IF !Y APPROA*$ HM =
PURPOSES ( 9VE/IG,N OR ACQUA9T.E1
,H5D]SON 9V>IABLY C1S$ F 8 R1D+ L;G 5
6DRIVE !M AWAY4
  ,A LIFE PRISON] 6A LIFE.S GAOL]1 LIFE
0 ALL GREY 6,MI*AEL4 ,8 MOROSE;S *ANG$
6A DEEP-S1T$ MELAN*OLY4 ,HE C1S$ 6BE
9T]E/$ 9 LIFE & 9 ! FREEDOM ( LIFE4 ,N T
HE REG>D$ ! PLAY ( LIFE AB HM )A
JAUNDIC$ EYE1 B1 R1 T 8 EYES 2CAME
UNSEE+4 ,DEB>R$ F LIFE1 HE IGNOR$ LIFE4
,HE P]MITT$ HMF 62COME A %E] PUPPET
SLAVE1 EAT+1 TAK+ 8 BA?S1 TRAVELL+ 9 8
CAGE1
P]=M+ REGUL>LY1 & SLEEP+ M*4
  ,HE _H PRIDE--! PRIDE (! ?OR\<BR$2 !
PRIDE (! ,NOR? ,AM]ICAN ,9DIAN 5SLAV$ ON
! PLANT,NS (! ,WE/ ,9DIES :O DI$
UNCOMPLA9+ & UNBROK54 ,S ,MI*AEL4 ,HE
SUBMITT$ 6! CAGE &! IRON (! *A9 2C !Y 7
TOO /R;G = 8 MUSCLES & TEE?4 ,HE DID 8
SLAVE-TASK ( P]=M.E & R5D]$ OB$I;E
6,JACOB ,H5D]SON2 B HE NEI LOV$ NOR FE>$
T MA/]4 ,& 2C ( ? 8 _S TURN$ 9 ON XF4
,HE SLEPT M*1 BROOD$ M*1 & SU6]$
UNPROTE/+LY A GRT L"OLI;S4 ,_H ,H5D]SON
MADE A BID = 8 HE>T1 HE WD SURELY H
RESPOND$2 B ,H5D]SON _H A HE>T ONLY =!
FANTA/IC M5TAL GYR,NS ( ,SW$5BORG1 &
M]ELY MADE 8 LIV+ \ ( ,MI*AEL4
  ,"S"TS "! 7 H>D%IPS4 ,MI*AEL A3EPT$
!M4 ,ESPECI,Y H>D DID HE F9D RAILROAD
TRAVEL 9 W9T]-"T1 :51 ON O3A.N1 FRE% F !
LA/ NI<T'S P]=M.E 9 A T[N1 HE REMA9$ =
H\RS 9 8 CRATE ON A TRUCK WAIT+ =! TRA9
T WD TAKE HM 6! NEXT T[N ( P]=M.E4 ,"! 0
A NI<T ON A /,N PLAT=M 9 ,M9NESOTA1 :5
TWO DOGS (A TR\PE1 ON ! NEXT TRUCK 6HIS1
FROZE 6D1?4 ,HE 0 HMF WELL FRO/$1 &!
COLD BIT ABOM9ABLY 96HIS %\LD] W.D$ 0!
LEOP>D2 B A BETT] 3/ITU;N & BETT] G5]AL
C>E ( HM 5A#D HM 6SURVIVE4
  ,-P>$ ) O!R %[ ANIMALS1 HE 0 WELL
TR1T$4 ,& M* (! ILL-TR1T;T A3ORD$ O!R
ANIMALS ON ! SAME TURN ) HM HE DID N
-PREH5D OR GUESS4 ,"O TURN1 ) : HE PLAY$
= ?REE MON?S1 0 A SC&AL AM;G/ ALL
VAUDEVILLE P]=M]S4 ,EV5 ! H>DIE/ ( !M
HE>TILY 4LIK$ ! TURN &! MAN1 AL?
,DUCKWOR?1 & ,DUCKWOR?'S ,TRA9$ ,CATS &
,RATS1 7 AN 9V>IA# POPUL> SU3ESS4
  8,TRA9$ CATS60 SNI6$ DA9TY LL ,PE>L
,LA ,PE>LE1 ! BICYCLI/4 8,CRU%$ CATS1
T'S :AT !Y >E4 ,ALL ! CAT HAS BE5 B1T5 \
( _! BLOOD1 & !Y'VE 2COME RATS4 ,Y C'T
TELL ME4 ,I "K40
  8,TRA9$ RATS60 ,MANUEL ,FONSECA1 !
3TOR;NI/1 EXPLOD$ 9 ! B>-ROOM (! ,HOTEL
,ANN&ALE1 AF REFUS+ 6DR9K ) ,DUCKWOR?4
8,DOP$ RATS1 2LIEVE ME4 ,:Y DON'T !Y
JUMP (F :5 !Y CRAWL AL;G ! TI<T ROPE )A
CAT 9 FRONT &A CAT 2H8 ,2C !Y A9'T GOT !
LIFE 9 'M 6JUMP4 ,!Y'RE DOP$1 /RAI<T
DOP$ :5 !Y'RE FRE%1 & />V$ AFW S Z 6MAK+
A SAV+ ON ! DOPE4 ,!Y N"E >E F$4 ,Y C'T
TELL ME4 ,I "K4 ,ELSE :Y DOES HE USE UP
ANY": 6=TY OR FIFTY RATS A WEEK6 ,I "K 8
EXPRESS %IP;TS1 :5 HE C'T BUY 'M 9 !
T[NS40
  8,MY ,GAWD60 PROTE/$ ,MISS ,M]LE
,M]RYW1!R1 ! ,A3ORDION ,GIRL1 :O LOOK$ L
SIXTE5 ON ! /AGE1 B :O1 9 PRIVATE LIFE
AM;G H] GR&-*N1 AC"KL$G$ =TY-EI<T4 8,MY
,GAWD1 H[ ! PUBLIC C FALL = X GETS MY
H"O/-TO-,GAWD GOAT4 ,I LOOK$ MYF YE/]"D
MORN+ E>LY4 ,\ ( ?IRTY RATS "! 7 SEV5
D1D1--/>V$ 6D1?4 ,HE N"E FE$S !M4 ,!Y'RE
DY+ RATS1 DY+ ( />V,N1 :5 !Y CRAWL AL;G
T ROPE4 ,T'S :Y !Y CRAWL4 ,IF !Y _H A
BIT ( BR1D & *EESE 9 _! TUMMIES !Y'D
JUMP & RUN 6GET AWAY F ! CATS4 ,!Y'RE
DY+1 !Y'RE DY+ "R "! ON ! ROPE1 TRY+
6CRAWL Z A DY+ MAN WD TRY 6CRAWL AWAY F
A TIG] T 0 EAT+ HM4 ,& MY ,GAWD6 ,!
B"OH1D AUDI;E SITS "! & APPLAUDS ! %[ Z
AN $UC,NAL ACT60
  ,B ! AUDI;E6 8,WOND];L ?+S K9D;S W D )
ANIMALS10 SD A MEMB] ( "O1 A BANK] &A
D1CON4 8,EV5 HUMAN LOVE C 2 TAU<T 6!M
0K9D;S4 ,! CAT &! RAT H BE5 5EMIES S9CE
! _W 2GAN4 ,YET "H1 TN1 WE H SE5 !M DO+
HI<LY TRA9$ F1TS TGR1 & NEI A CAT -MITT$
"O HO/ILE OR OV]T ACT AG/ A RAT1 NOR "E
A RAT %[$ X 0 AFRAID (A CAT4 ,HUMAN
K9D;S6 ,! P[] ( HUMAN K9D;S60
  8,! LION &! LAMB10 SD ANO!R4 8,WE H X
T :5 ! MILL5NIUM -ES ! LION &! LAMB W
LIE D[N TGR--& \TSIDE EA* O!R1 MY DE>1
\TSIDE EA* O!R4 ,& ? IS A =ECA/1 A PROV+
UP1 0MAN1 AH1D (! "D4 ,CATS & RATS6 ,?9K
( X4 ,& X %[S 3CLUSIVELY ! P[] ( K9D;S4
,I % SEE 6X AT ONCE T WE GET PETS = \R
[N *N1 \R PALM BRAN*ES4 ,!Y % LE>N K9D;S
E>LY1 6! DOG1 ! CAT1 YES1 EV5 ! RAT1 &!
PRETTY L9NET 9 XS CAGE40
  8,B10 SD 8 DE>1 2S HM1 8Y REMEMB] :AT
,BLAKE SD3

8,8,A ,ROB9 ,R$BR1/ 9 A CAGE
,PUTS ALL H1V5 9 A RAGE40'0

  8,AH--B N :5 X IS TR1T$ TRULY ) K9D;S1
MY DE>4 ,I % IMMLY ORD] "S RA2ITS1 &A
CAN>Y OR TWO1 &--:AT SORT (A DOG WD Y
PREF] \R DE> LL "OS 6H 6PLAY )1 MY
SWEET80
  ,& 8 DE> LOOK$ AT HM 9 ALL 8
IMP]TURBA#1 -PLAC5T SELF-3SCI\S;S (
K9D;S1 & SAW H]F ! LL RURAL S*OOL-T1*]
:O1 ) ,ELLA ,:EEL] ,WILCOX & ,"L ,BYRON
Z H] IDOLS1 &)! DR1M ( H]F WRIT+ 8,POEMS
( ,PAS.N10 _H -E UP 6,TOPEKA ,T[N 6BE
B1T5 0! GAME 96M>RY+ ! SOLID1 SUB/ANTIAL
BUSI;S MAN 2S H]1 :O 5JOY$
DELI<T 9 ! SPECTACLE ( CATS & RATS WALK+
! TI<T-ROPE 9 AM;Y1 & :O 0 BLISS;LLY
UNAW>E T %E 0 ! ,ROB9 ,R$BR1/ 9 A CAGE T
PUT ALL H1V5 9 A RAGE4
  8,! RATS >E BAD 5\<10 SD ,MISS ,M]LE
,M]RYW1!R4 8,B LOOK H[ HE USES UP !
CATS4 ,HE'S _H ?REE DIE ON HM 9 ! LA/
TWO WEEKS 6MY C]TA9 K4 ,!Y'RE ONLY
ALLEY-CATS1 B !Y'VE GOT FEEL+S4 ,X'S T
BOX+ MAT* T DOES = !M40
  ,! BOX+ MAT*1 SURE ALW (A GRT H& F !
AUDI;E1 9V>IABLY 3CLUD$ ,DUCKWOR?'S
TURN4 ,TWO CATS1 ) SMALL BOX+-GLOVES1 7
PUT ON A TA# =A FRLY B\T4 ,NATUR,Y1 !
CATS T P]=M$ )! RATS 7 TOO C[$ = ?4 ,X 0
! FRE% CATS HE US$1 ! "OS ) SPUNK & _S 4
4 4 UNTIL !Y LO/ ALL SPUNK & _S OR
SICK5$ & DI$4 ,6! AUDI;E X 0 A SIDE-
SPLITT+1 PLAY;L 5C.T] 2T F\R-LE7$
CR1TURES :O ?US 4PLAY$ A RIDICUL\S
RESEMBL.E 6SUP]IOR1 TWO-LE7$ MAN4 ,B X 0
N PLAY;L 6! CATS4 ,!Y 7 ALW EXCIT$
96/>T+ A R1L FI<T ) EA* O!R (F /AGE J 2F
!Y 7 BR"\ ON4 ,9 ! BL[S !Y /RUCK 7 ANG]
& PA9 & 2WILD];T & FE>4 ,&! GLOVES J WD
-E (F1 S T !Y 7 RIPP+ & TE>+ AT EA* O!R1
BIT+ Z WELL Z MAK+ ! FUR FLY1 L FURIES1
:5 ! CURTA9 W5T D[N4 ,9 ! EYES (! AUDI;E
? APP>5T IMPROMPTU 0 ALW ! ULTIMATE
SCR1M1 &! LAU<T] & APPLAUSE WD -PEL !
CURTA9 UP AG 6REV1L ,DUCKWOR? & AN
ASSI/ANT /AGE-H&1 Z IF CAU<T 0SURPRISE1
FANN+ ! TWO BELLIG]5TS ) T[ELS4
  ,B ! CATS !MVS 7 S 3T9U,Y TORN &
SCRAT*$ T ! W.DS N"E _H A *.E 6H1L &
2CAME 9FECT$ UNTIL !Y 7 A MASS ( SORES4
,ON O3A.N !Y DI$1 OR1 :5 !Y _H 2COME TOO
ABJECTLY _S.S 6ATTACK EV5 A RAT1 7 SET
6"W ON ! TI<T-ROPE )! DOP$ />V$ RATS T 7
TOO NE> D1D 6RUN AWAY F !M4 ,&1 Z ,MISS
,M]LE ,M]RYW1!R SD3 ! B"OH1D AUDI;ES1
TICKL$ 6D1?1 APPLAUD$ ,DUCKWOR?'S ,TRA9$
,CATS & ,RATS Z AN $UC,NAL ACT6
  ,A BIG *IMPANZEE T COV]$ "O (!
CIRCUITS ) ,MI*AEL _H AN ANTIPA?Y =
CLO!S4 ,L A HORSE T FI<TS ! PUTT+ ON (!
BRIDLE1 &1 AF X IS ON1 TAKES NO FUR!R
NOTICE ( X1 S ! BIG *IMPANZEE F"\ !
PUTT+ ON ! CLO!S4 ,ONCE ON1 X 0 R1DY 6G
\ ON ! /AGE & "? XS TURN4 ,B ! RUB 0 9
PUTT+ ON ! CLO!S4 ,X TOOK ! [N] & TWO
/AGE-H&S1 PULL+ HM UP 6A R+ 9 ! WALL &
?ROTTL+ HM1 6DRESS HM--& ?1 DESPITE !
FACT T ! [N] _H L;G S9CE KNOCK$ \ 8
9CISORS4
  ,ALL ? CRUELTY ,MI*AEL S5S$ )\T "K+4
,& HE A3EPT$ X Z ! WAY ( LIFE1 Z HE
A3EPT$ ! "DLI<T &! D>K1 ! BITE (! FRO/
ON BL1K & W9DY /,N PLAT=MS1 ! MY/]I\S L&
( ,O!R": T HE KNEW 9 DR1MS & S;G1 !
EQU,Y MY/]I\S ,NO?+;S 96: _H VANI%$
,M]+E ,PLANT,N & %IPS & OC1NS & M5 &
,/EW>D4














