
    ,,*APT] ,,XXVIII
  ,N YET 0 ,I R1DY 6TUCK MY >M 9 ,JOHN
,B>LEYCORN'S4 ,! OLD] ,I GOT1 ! GRT] MY
SU3ESS1 ! M M"OY ,I E>N$1 ! WID] 0 ! -M&
(! _W T 2CAME M9E &! M PROM95TLY DID
,JOHN ,B>LEYCORN BULK 9 MY LIFE4 ,& / ,I
MA9TA9$ NO M ?AN A NO4+ ACQUA9T.E ) HM4
,I DRANK =! SAKE ( SOCIABIL;Y1 & :5 AL"O
,I DID N DR9K4 ,"S"TS ,I GOT J+L$1 B ,I
3SID]$ S* J+LES ! MILD PRICE ,I PD =
SOCIABIL;Y4
  ,6%[ H[ UNRIPE ,I 0 = ,JOHN
,B>LEYCORN1 :51 AT ? "T1 ,I DESC5D$ 96MY
SL\< ( DESPOND1 ,I N"E DR1M$ ( TURN+
6,JOHN ,B>LEYCORN =A HELP+ H&4 ,I _H
LIFE TR\#S & HE>T TR\#S : >E NEI "H NOR
"! 9 ? N>RATIVE4 ,B1 -B9$ ) !M1 7
9TELLECTUAL TR\#S : >E 9DE$ G]MANE4
  ,M9E 0 NO UNCOMMON EXP]I;E4 ,I _H R1D
TOO M* POSITIVE SCI;E & LIV$ TOO M*
POSITIVE LIFE4 ,9 ! EAG];S ( Y\? ,I _H
MADE ! ANCI5T MISTAKE ( PURSU+ ,TRU? TOO
REL5T.SLY4 ,I _H TORN H] VEILS F H]1 &!
SI<T 0 TOO T]RI# = ME 6/&4 ,9 BRIEF1 ,I
LO/ MY F9E FAI?S 9 PRETTY WELL "EY?+
EXCEPT HUMAN;Y1 &! HUMAN;Y ,I RETA9$
FAI? 9 0 A V />K HUMAN;Y 9DE$4
  ,? L;G SICK;S ( PESSIMISM IS TOO WELL
"KN 6MO/ ( U 6BE DETAIL$ "H4 ,LET X
SU6ICE 6/ATE T ,I _H X V BAD4 ,I M$ITAT$
SUICIDE COOLLY1 Z A ,GREEK PHILOSOPH]
MI<T4 ,MY REGRET 0 T "! 7 TOO _M DEP5D5T
DIRECTLY ^U ME = FOOD & %ELT] = ME 6QUIT
LIV+4 ,B T 0 %E] MORAL;Y4 ,:AT RE,Y SAV$
ME 0 ! "O REMA9+ ILLU.N--! ,,P4
  ,! ?+S ,I _H F"\ =& BURN$ MY MIDNI<T
OIL = _H FAIL$ ME4 ,SU3ESS--,I DESPIS$
X4 ,RECOGNI;N--X 0 D1D A%ES4 ,SOCIETY1
M5 & WOM5 ABV ! RUCK &! MUCK (! WAT]-
FRONT &! =ECA/LE--,I 0 APPALL$ 0_!
UNLOVELY M5TAL M$IOCR;Y4 ,LOVE ( WOMAN--
X 0 L ALL ! RE/4 ,M"OY--,I CD SLEEP 9
ONLY "O B$ AT A "T1 &( :AT WOR? 0 AN
9COME (A HUNDR$ PORT]H\SES A "D :5 ,I CD
EAT ONLY "O8 ,>T1 CULTURE--IN ! FACE (!
IRON FACTS ( BIOLOGY S* ?+S 7 RIDICUL\S1
! EXPON5TS ( S* ?+S ONLY ! M RIDICUL\S4
  ,F ! =EGO+ X C 2 SE5 H[ V SICK ,I WAS4
,I 0 BORN A FI<T]4 ,! ?+S ,I _H F"\ = _H
PROV$ N WOR? ! FI<T4 ,REMA9$ ! ,,P4 ,MY
FI<T 0 F9I%$1 YET "S?+ 0 LEFT / 6FI<T
=--! ,,P4
  ,B :ILE ,I 0 4COV]+ ? "O LA/ TIE 6B9D
ME 6LIFE1 9 MY EXTREM;Y1 9 ! DEP?S (
DESPOND1 WALK+ 9 ! VALLEY (! %AD[1 MY
E>S 7 D1F 6,JOHN ,B>LEYCORN4 ,N"E !
REMOTE/ :ISP] >OSE 9 MY 3SCI\S;S T ,JOHN
,B>LEYCORN 0 ! ANODYNE1 T HE CD LIE ME
AL;G 6LIVE4 ,"O WAY ONLY 0 UPP]MO/ 9 MY
?"\--MY REVOLV]1 ! CRA%+ ET]NAL D>K;S (A
BULLET4 ,"! 0 PL5TY ( :ISKY 9 ! H\SE--=
MY GUE/S4 ,I N"E T\*$ X4 ,I GREW AFRAID
( MY REVOLV]--AFRAID DUR+ ! P]IOD 9 : !
RADIANT1 FLA%+ VI.N (! ,,P 0 =M+ 9 MY
M9D & W4 ,S OBSESS$ 0 ,I )! DESIRE 6DIE
T ,I FE>$ ,I MI<T -MIT ! ACT 9 MY SLEEP1
& ,I 0 -PELL$ 6GIVE MY REVOLV] AWAY
6O!RS :O 7 6LOSE X = ME ": MY
SUBCONSCI\S H& MI<T N F9D X4
  ,B ! ,,P SAV$ ME4 ,0! ,,P 0 ,I H&CU6$
6LIFE4 ,"! 0 / "O FI<T LEFT 9 ME1 & "H 0
! ?+ = : 6FI<T4 ,I ?REW ALL PRECAU;N 6!
W9DS1 ?REW MYF ) FI]C] Z1L 96! FI<T =
SOCIALISM1 LAU<$ AT ! $ITORS & PUBLI%]S
:O W>N$ ME & :O 7 ! S\RCES ( MY HUNDR$
PORT]H\SES A "D1 & 0 BRUT,Y C>E.S ( ^:
FEEL+S ,I HURT &( H[ SAVAGELY ,I HURT
!M4 ,Z ! 8WELL-BAL.ED RADICALS0 *>G$ AT
! "T1 MY EF=TS 7 S /R5U\S1 S UNSAFE &
UNSANE1 S ULTRA-REVOLU;N>Y1 T ,I RET>D$
! SOCIALI/ DEVELOP;T 9 ! ,UNIT$ ,/ATES
0FIVE YE>S4 ,9 PASS+1 ,I WI% 6REM>K1 AT
? LATE DATE1 T X IS MY FOND 2LIEF T ,I
A3EL]AT$ ! SOCIALI/ DEVELOP;T 9 ! ,UNIT$
,/ATES 0AT L1/ FIVE M9UTES4
  ,X 0 ! ,,P1 & NO ?ANKS 6,JOHN
,B>LEYCORN1 :O PULL$ ME "? MY L;G
SICK;S4 ,& :5 ,I 0 3VALESC5T CAME ! LOVE
( WOMAN 6-PLETE ! CURE & LULL MY
PESSIMISM ASLEEP = _M A L;G "D1 UNTIL
,JOHN ,B>LEYCORN AG AWOKE X4 ,B 9 !
M1N"T1 ,I PURSU$ ,TRU? LESS REL5T.SLY1
REFRA9+ F TE>+ H] LA/ VEILS ASIDE EV5 :5
,I CLUT*$ !M 9 MY H&4 ,I NO L;G] C>$
6LOOK ^U ,TRU? NAK$4 ,I REFUS$ 6P]MIT
MYF 6SEE A SECOND "T :AT ,I _H ONCE SE54
,&! MEMORY ( :AT ,I _H T "T SE5 ,I
RESOLUTELY BLOTT$ F MY M9D4
  ,& ,I 0 V HAPPY4 ,LIFE W5T WELL ) ME1
,I TOOK DELI<T 9 LL ?+S4 ,! BIG ?+S ,I
DECL9$ 6TAKE TOO S]I\SLY4 ,I / R1D !
BOOKS1 B N )! OLD EAG];S4 ,I / R1D !
BOOKS TD1 B N"E AG % ,I R1D !M ) T OLD
GLORY ( Y\?;L PAS.N :5 ,I H>K$ 6! CALL F
OV] & 2Y T :ISP]$ ME ON 6W9 6! MY/]Y AT
! BACK ( LIFE & 2H ! />S4
  ,! PO9T ( ? *APT] IS T1 9 ! L;G SICK;S
T AT "S "T -ES 6MO/ ( U1 ,I CAME "? )\T
ANY APP1L
= AID 6,JOHN ,B>LEYCORN4 ,LOVE1
SOCIALISM1 ! ,,P--H1L?;L FIG;TS ( MAN'S
M9D--W]E ! ?+S T CUR$ & SAV$ ME4 ,IF "E
A MAN 0 N A BORN ALCOHOLIC1 ,I 2LIEVE T
,I AM T MAN4 ,& YET--WELL1 LET ! SU3E$+
*APT]S TELL _! TALE1 = 9 !M W 2 %[N H[
,I PD = MY PREVI\S QU>T] (A C5TURY (
3TACT ) "E-A3ESSI# ,JOHN ,B>LEYCORN4







