,,9troduc;n
,mc,k9ley's ,kahiltna ,glaci]

,= ?\s&s ( ye>s1 a massive t;gue (! ,kahiltna ,glaci]1 =ty miles l;g &a
mile ?ick1 has be5 9*+ xs way d[n ! we/]n flanks ( ,m.t ,mc,k9ley1 spl9t]+1
crack+1 collaps+1 & %e>+ (f z if x 7 alive4 ,2l f\rte5 ?\s& feet1 giant
gap+ *asms bisect ea* o!r 9 *aotic patt]ns1 b sn[fall bl[s acr ! op5+s &
freezes1 s t deep crevasses >e hi45 f si<t 0a sn[ cov] ( only a few 9*es 9
places4

,on a pa/ tra9+ climb1 ,i _h made ! mistake ( bra7+ 6my t1mmates t ,i cd
s5se :5 we 7 ov] a hi45 crevasse 0! s(t tremul\s feel (! sn[ &! sli<tly
holl[ ?unk made 0my boot /eps4 ,s1 !y _h decid$ 6te/ my claim 0pu%+ me =w>d
& mak+ me l1d acr ! notori\sly suspect sn[field 2l \r f\rte5-?\s&-foot
camp4

8,?is'll t1* y 6brag1 ,sup] ,bl ,guy10 ,jeff1 a close fr & "o ( my
t1mmates1 call$ \ z he &! o!rs crept al;g 2h1 keep+ taut ! #aej-foot climb+
rope 3nect+ u4 ,! t5.n 9 ! rope assur$ me !y wd 2 r1dy 6hurl _! bodies
face-f/ 96! sn[1 _! *e/s driv+ 9 ! pick ( _! axes1 hope;lly >re/+ me1 if ,i
7 6plunge "?4 ,! dry bitt] w9d ro>$ acr ! surface (! glaci]1 rattl+ "? my
,,gore-tex4 ,! w9d sc\r$ ! top lay] ( sn[ 96a froz5 cru/1 & ,i cd he> !
bit+ metal squ1k ( my crampons z !y claw$ 96! ice4

,i /epp$ cauti\sly1 li/5+ z ,i sl[ly br"\ d[n ! full wei<t ( ea* /ep1 =c+
myf 6br1! 9 rhy?m4 ,:at 7 ! *.es ( me /umbl+ ^u a hi45 crevasse1 ,i ?"\1 9
? place1 at ? mo;t8 ,i prob$ a trekk+ pole 9 front ( me4 ,9iti,y1 x held1 b
su45ly x popp$ "? ! ,/yrofoam sn[ 96empti;s1 ) me swoon+ =w>d1 ! pole slid+
"? 6! h&le4 ,!n ,i he>d x1 ! t]rify+ noise t climb]s dr1d1 ! slit (a knife
acr ! glaci] & 9cr1s+ 6a l\d zipp]4 ,i _h he>d ? noise 2f1 ! s.d ( ice
fractur+1 br1k+ a"p & zigza7+ acr ! froz5 gr.d1 b ,i _h n"e be5 s ne>4 ,!
sn[ >.d me collaps$ )a .:oomp4 ,! muscles 9 my legs turn$ 6putty &! rope
/ret*$ ti<t] z ! t1m brac$4 ,i felt ! lur* ( my body &! sn[ 2n me dropp+
away1 & ,i knew at once ,i _h brok5 "?4 ,i cd feel ! air all >.d me1 fill+
! space "u my feet1 al;g my legs1 & ag/ my face4 ,jeff yell$ "s?+1 b 8
voice qkly fad$ 9 ! ru%+ sn[ & ge> t came ) me4 ,a mo;t lat]1 ,i 0 3fus$ 2c
,i 0 / /&+4 8,x 0 a false %elf6 ,y only dropp$ a few feet10 ,*ris1 \r l1d]1
yell$ urg5tly4

8,huh80

8,:at >e y do+ /&+ "!1 wait+ = x 6collapse ag80

,i =c$ my legs 6move1 mumbl+1 8,false %elves6 ,i n"e sd ,i cd feel false
%elves40 ,! l[] %elf ,i mov$ acr 0 s(t] ?an ! f/1 sa7+ & cr1k+ 2l me4 ,i
tri$ n 6?9k (! bottom.s cav]n 2n ! ?9 bridge4 ,i climb$ a ja7$ ll ice hump1
sw++ my ax abv x1 bit+ 9 & pull+ myf ov] :at ,i assum$ 0 ! fracture l9e1 &
br1!d \ deeply1 *uckl+ grimly 2c ,i knew "ey"o else n[ _h 6cross4

,lat] at \r f\rte5-?\s&-foot camp1 ,sam1 my prim>y tra9+ "pn]1 sd he cd
f9,y see ! brilliant :ite ram"ps (! ,we/ ,buttress l1d+ 6! top ( ,m.t
,mc,k9ley1 a mile &a half abv u4 ,x _h tak5 u a week 6get "h1 b 2ss !
crevasse dang]1 x _h only be5 a gruel+ slog up mod]ate sn[ slopes4 ,tm1 !
r1l climb+ wd 2g94 ,sam took my f+] & br"\ x up ! r\te we wd climb1 /opp+
at prom95t l&m>ks l ! sixty-degree h1dwall1 ,wa%b]n's ,?umb1 & ,pig ,hill4
,he po9t$ \ ! second talle/ p1k1 ,m.t ,=ak]4 ,!n1 ,i tri$ 6po9t t[>d
,mc,k9ley's summit4 ,i po9t$ my f+] a ll hi<] ?an ,=ak]4 8,no4 ,hi<]60 ,sam
lau<$4 ,i rais$ my f+]4 8,/ hi<]40 ,i 3t9u$ 6po9t hi<] & hi<]4 ,f9,y1 ,i
po9t$ s hi<1 ,i imag9$ ,i 0 po9t+ at ! sun4 8,"!60 ,sam sd1 8 voice s(t] &
deep] n[1 8,"!'s ! summit ( ,mc,k9ley60 ,t is :5 ,i felt ! /u2orn fe> wa%+
ov] me1 2g9n+ 9 ! pit ( my belly & sl[ly seep+ 96my f+]tips1 mak+ !m t+le4

,all my life1 fe> _h ne>ly p>alyz$ me4 ,rock climb+ \tside ( ,phoenix _h
def9itely provid$ a h1l?y dose ( fe>1 my "o h& palm+ a prec>i\s f+] lock
:ile my o!r h& scann$ acr ! rock face1 desp]ately se>*+ =! next hold4 ,=
me1 ! fe> ( climb+ bl does n -e :5 ,i am hang+ securely f a fat hold or af
lat*+ on 6! next4 ,! grte/ fe> is 9 ! r1*+1 at t mo;t :5 ,i h -mitt$ my
body & s\l 6f9d+ ! next hold1 :5 ,i am hop+1 predict+1 pray+ ,i w f9d :at
,i am seek+4 ,b x isn't all fe>4 ,despite ! pa9 & fru/r,n ( go+ bl1 ! d1? (
lov$ "os1 ! loss ( my eyes 6glaucoma1 n"o ( x _h be5 5 6/amp \ ! hope4 ,a
delicate /r& ( hope bal.ed 0fe>1 ea* keep+ ! o!r 9 xs place4 ,x 0 on ! top
( "o ( ^? rock faces :5 ,sam su7e/$ we try "s?+ a ll bi7]1 8,maybe ,m.t
,mc,k9ley40 ,i _h immly sd yes1 &! deci.n _h be5 l ano!r r1* 96! d>k;s1 !
grte/ r1* ( my life4

,t afn 9 ! blaz+ h1t1 we built sn[ walls >.d \r campsite4 ,i knew ab
,mc,k9ley's leg5d>y cold1 b no "o _h told me ab ! h1t1 reflect+ l a mirror
(f ! sn[ & burn+ my eyeballs "? ! l1!r flaps ( my glaci] glasses4 ,!n !
w9d1 *ill$ 0! glaci]1 :ipp$ pa/ me1 tak+ m* ( my body's w>m? ) x4 8,w9dburn
on top ( sunburn4 ,get us$ 6x10 ,*ris lau<$1 obs]v+ ,sam & me 3/ruct+ sn[
=tresses \ (! glaci]4 ,sam cut blocks ( blue ice f ! floor :ile ,i plac$ !m
9 a rectangle >.d ! site 6block ! w9d4 ,soon ! walls 7 z tall z me4 ,!n ,i
cut /eps 96\r =t :ile ,sam pack$ ! small gaps 9 ! walls ) sn[4 ,f9,y ! site
0 r1dy =! t5t4 ,i held "o side & ?rew ! o!r 96! w9d1 : cau<t x & unfurl$ x4
,i laid x on ! gr.d & ori5t$ x 0feel+ ! loops & pockets on ! corn]s "? my
lay]s ( gloves4

,mon?s 2f on a tra9+ climb on ,m.t ,ra9i]1 a t1mmate assign$ me 6set up a
t5t on ! ,muir sn[field1 on : w9d & cold seem$ 6be ! only 3/ants4 ,i 0
2g9n+ 6%iv] z ,i knelt 9 ! sn[ )! t5t laid \ 9 front ( me4 ,"? my ?ick
gloves ,i cdn't feel ! delicate sleeves (! fabric4 ,i fum#d ) x1 clumsily
try+ 6jam ! pole "?4 ,!n ,i took my glove (f s ,i cd actu,y t\* x4 ,my h&s
7 my eyes1 b ?ree fru/rat+ lay]s ( mat]ial ov] !m made me feel bl4 ,only =a
second1 ,i ?"\4 ,j 5 "t 6get ! pole />t$ 9 ! sleeve4 ,b %>p spl9t]s ( sleet
prick$ my b>e sk9 & x w5t 9/antly numb4 ,i /u6$ my life.s h& back 9side !
glove & b1t x ag/ my knee4 ,:5 x came back 6life1 ! pa9 0 s 9t5se ,i alm
vomit$ f nausea4 ,n want+ 6give up1 ,i :ipp$ (f ! o!r glove1 b ? h& too w5t
numb 2f x ev5 t\*$ ! t5t fabric4 ,sam & ,jeff approa*$4 ,!y _h f9i%$ )! o!r
t5ts & )\t say+ a ^w />t$ "w+ on m9e4 ,! pa9 9 my h&s 0 no?+ -p>$ ) my
fru/r,n & emb>rass;t1 l a balloon exp&+ 9 my *e/4 ,i knelt 9 ! sn[1 li/5+
6! t5t lift+ up "u ! pressure (! poles1 & ,i made a promise 6myf4 ,! ?+s ,i
cd n d1 ,i wd let g2 b ! ?+s ,i cd d1 ,i wd le>n 6d well4

,afws 9 ,phoenix1 :5 ! temp]ature 0 hov]+ abv a hundr$ degrees1 ,i took !
t5t 6a field ne> ! s*ool ": ,i tau<t &1 ) my ?ick gloves on1 "w$ on sett+ x
up & br1k+ x d[n & sett+ x up ag4 ,i he>d c>s sl[+ d[n on ! ne>by road1
6gape1 ,i imag9$1 at ! lunatic 9 ! blaz+ h1t1 9 a tank top & m.ta9e]+
gloves1 kneel+ ov] a t5t4 ,b ,i refus$ 6be ! w1k l9k (! t1m4 ,i want$ !m
6put _! lives 9 my h&s1 z ,i wd put m9e 9 _!s4 ,i wd c>ry my %>e4 ,i wd
3tribute z any o!r t1m memb]4 ,i wd n 2 c>ri$ up ! m.ta9 & spik$ on top l a
football4 ,if ,i 7 6r1* ! summit1 ,i wd r1* x ) dign;y4

,t ev5+ on ,mc,k9ley1 we sat on ice b5*es >.d ! t5ts we'd set up & \r gas
/ove4 ,i cd feel ! sun qkly dropp+ away 2n ! p1ks1 plung+ ! temp]ature
fifty degrees 9 m9utes4 ,ne> ei<t p4m41 climb]s all ov] ! m.ta9 await$
,base ,camp ,annie's w1!r report ov] ! two-way radio4 ,9/1d (! report1
h["e1 \r radio crackl$ ! news ( two ,taiwanese climb]s :o 7 trapp$ at
n9ete5 ?\s& feet4 ,t morn+1 !y _h left =! summit ) hi< expect,ns b _h pu%$
too h>d & too fa/ 9 a :ite\t & 7 =c$ 6bivy on ! ,football ,field1 a
hundr$-y>d %elf ( sn[ j 2n ! summit ridge4 ,n[1 _m h\rs lat]1 !y lay hu4l$
tgr1 freez+ 6d1? 9 ! frigid ni<t air4 ,"o ( !m croak$ _! posi;n 6a rescue
"py4 8,sit ti<t10 a rang] respond$4 8,! w9ds >e too hi< =! ,black ,hawk40
,we all sat transfix$1 drawn 6! desp]ate ev5ts unfold+4 ,an h\r lat]1 !
same voice1 al? w1k]1 crackl$ ov] ! radio4 ,x 0 alm a :isp]4 8,my fr1 he
has /opp$ br1?+40

,sam & ,i h1d$ deject$ly = \r t5t4 ,sitt+ 9side1 ,sam ask$1 8,:at sep>ates
u f !m8 ,i m1n f ! guys :o die80 ,nei ( u spoke =a l;g "t4

,a ye> 2f1 we _h be5 no di6]5t4 ,sam & ,i1 9 prep>,n = ,mc,k9ley1 _h tri$
6climb ,humphrey's ,p1k 9 ,>izona1 a mod]ate climb t takes ! av]age hik]
only a few h\rs 6summit4 ,b m9utes f ! p>k+ lot1 ,sam _h hesitat$4 8,:at if
y get hurt up "!80 he sd4 8,h[ wd ,i get y d[n80 ,i _h only a4$ 6his d\bts
0l1v+ a glove 9 ! c>4 ,sam _h g"o balli/ic1 seiz+ ! opportun;y 6reassess \r
prospects4 8,if ? _h be5 ,mc,k9ley10 he sd angrily1 8t mi<t h m1nt yr h&40
,s we _h turn$ back1 & ,i fum$ ) ang]4 8,y don't "u/&10 he tri$ ag4 8,:5 we
get up "!1 ,i'm ! "o :o has 6get u d[n40 ,& ,i "u/ood t ,sam 0 n s m* "q+
me1 b 8 [n abil;y 6l1d a bl p]son safely "? ! m.ta9s4

,a week lat]1 :5 \r temp]s _h cool$1 ,sam su7e/$ t we try ag1 ? "t on
,l;g's ,p1k1 a r\< f\rte5] 9 ! ,colorado ,rockies4 ,gaug+ f \r failure on
,humphrey's1 ,i didn't ?9k we _h any *.e ( su3e$+ on a m* hi<] & m di6icult
p1k1 "o (t5 3sid]$ ! mo/ gruel+ 9 ,colorado4 ,& on top ( "ey?+1 we wd 2
try+ x 9 ,janu>y4 ,i agre$ anyway4 ,on ! f/ "d we climb$ sl[ly z ,i foll[$
! s.d ( ,sam's foot/eps ov] icy b\ld] fields & up /eep sn[ ridges4 ,we 7
/opp$ five hundr$ feet f ! summit 0hi< w9ds4 ,retr1t+ back 6\r hi< camp1 we
sp5t a traumatic ni<t feel+ ! w9ds bu6et+ ! t5t walls1 ?r1t5+ 6rip ! t5t f
xs /akes & tum# u d[n ! m.ta94 ,! next morn+ ! t5t 0 buri$ 9 ?ree feet (
fre% sn[4 ,we desc5d$ sl[ly1 /opp+ e few seconds 6brace ag/ ! 9cr$i# =ce (!
w9d1 n[ ov] a hundr$ miles p] h\r1 : 3/antly pick$ me up & slamm$ me back
ag/ ! rocks & sn[4 ,ev5tu,y1 ,i cd no l;g] foll[ ! s.d ( ,sam's foot/eps
ov] ! h[l+ gale4 ,i cdn't ev5 make \ 8 %\ts1 only a few feet away4 ,) numb
h&s1 ,sam /ru7l$ 6tie a piece ( we2+ f my pack 6his [n &1 =! next sev5
h\rs1 ,i foll[$ hm d[n 0! t5.n (! we2+4 ,pay+ close att5;n 6my foot+ on !
/eep slope1 ,i 0 (t5 bl[n (f bal.e1 b ,sam 0 alw "! s t we cd brace \r
bodies tgr ag/ ! =ce (! w9d4 ,:5 we f9,y r1*$ ! p>k+ lot late t afn1 we 7
dehydrat$ & exhau/$4 ,we _h fail$ 6make ! summit4 ,my eyelids _h froz5 tgr
& ,sam _h lo/ a sn[%oe 9 ! deep p[d]1 b we bo? knew1 emphatic,y1 t if we cd
make x "? t1 we cd make x "? any?+4

,n[1 sitt+ next 6,sam on ,mc,k9ley's ,kahiltna ,glaci]1 ,i f9,y broke !
sil;e4 8,we've prep>$ =a ye>4 ,i've n"e "w$ h>d] = any?+4 ,we've e>n$ \r "r
6be "h4 ,we're r1dy10 ,i sd1 & hop$ ,i 0 "r4

,i turn$ away & 2gan organiz+ my pack =! next "d's c>ry4 ,9 ! top -"p;t ,i
put my extra lay]s ( gloves1 ?ick socks1 my face mask1 & go7les4 ,my ice
ax1 pickets1 & %ovel1 ,i c9*$ d[n )! \tside /raps4 ,yes1 ,sam 0 "r1 los+ a
glove or an ice ax cd m1n los+ a h& or a life4 ,!n1 z ,i slid 96my d[n
sleep+ bag1 a ?"\ em]g$ f ! crisp / ni<t4 ,i'd be5 prep>+ = ? climb my :ole
life4
