
    ,,XII

,! ,PL1SANTE/ ,CLUB 9 ,LONDON

  ,ALL P]AMBULATORS L1D 6! ,K5S+TON
,G>D5S4
  ,N1 H["E1 T Y W SEE ,DAVID 9 8
P]AMBULATOR M* L;G]1 = SOON AF ,I F/
%OOK 8 FAI? 9 8 "M1 X CAME 6HM 6BE UP &
DO+1 & HE UP & DID 9 ! ,BROAD ,WALK XF1
": HE WD /& AL"O MO/ ELABORATELY POIS$1
SIGN+ IMP]I\SLY 6! ,BRITI% PUBLIC 6"T
HM1 & LOOK+ 8 MO/ H1V5LY J 2F HE FELL4
,HE FELL )A DUMP1 & Z !Y ALW LAU<$ !N1
HE PRET5D$ T ? 0 8 FUNNY WAY ( F9I%+4
  ,T 0 ON A ,MON"D4 ,ON ,TUES"D HE
CLIMB$ ! /"O /AIR (! ,GOLD ,K+1 LOOK+
OV] 8 %\LD] GLORI\SLY AT EA* /EP1 & ON
,W$NES"D HE /RUCK ?REE & W5T
96KNICK]BOCK]S4 ,=! ,K5S+TON ,G>D5S1 Y
M/ "K1 >E FULL ( %ORT CUTS1 FAMILI> 6ALL
:O PLAY "!2 &! %ORTE/ L1DS F ! BABY 9
L;G CLO!S 6! LL BOY ( ?REE RID+ ON !
F;E4 ,X IS CALL$ ! ,"M'S ,TRAG$Y4
  ,IF Y >E A BURGESS (! G>D5S 7: H A
VOCABUL>Y ( _! [N71 ! FACES ( ^! QUA9T
"MS >E A CLOCK 6Y1 9 : Y MAY R1D ! AGES
( _! "Y4 ,:5 HE IS ?REE !Y >E SD 6WE> !
KNICK]BOCK] FACE1 & Y MAY TAKE X F ME T
,M>Y ASSUM$ T FACE )A SI<2 FA9 WD %E H
KEPT H] BOY A BABY L;G]1 B HE 9SI/$ ON 8
"RS1 & ,I 5C\RAG$ HM T ,I MI<T NOT*
ANO!R PO9T AG/ H]4 ,I 0 N[ SEE+ ,DAVID
ONCE AT L1/ E WEEK1 8 "M1 :O REMA9$
CULPABLY OBTUSE 6MY S9I/] DESIGN1 HAV+
9/RUCT$ ,IR5E T ,I 0 6BE ALL[$ 6%>E HM )
H]1 & WE _H 2COME CLOSE FRS1 ?\< ! LL
NURSE 0 "E A ?R1T5+ %AD[ 9 ! BACKGR.D4
,IR5E1 9 %ORT1 DID N IMPROVE )
ACQUA9T.E4 ,I F.D H] 6BE HI< & MI<TY1
*IEFLY1 ,I ?9K1 2C %E N[ WORE A NURSE'S
CAP ) /R1M]S1 ( : ! LL CR1TURE 0
LUDICR\SLY PR\D4 ,%E ASSUM$ ! AIRS ( AN
(FICIAL P]SON1 & ALW TALK$ Z IF G5],NS (
BABIES _H PASS$ "? H] H&S4 ,%E 0 AL
EXTREMELY J1L\S1 & _H A WAY ( SIGNIFY+
4APPROVAL ( MY ME?ODS T L$ 6_M COLD;SES
& EV5 BICK]+S 2T U1 : ,I N[ SEE 6H BE5
UNDIGNIFI$4 ,I BR"\ ! FOLL[+ A3US,NS AG/
H]3
  ,T %E PRAT$ TOO M* AB "R & WR;G4
  ,T %E 0 A M>T9ET4
  ,T %E PRET5D$ X 0 A R1L CAP1 ) R1L
/R1M]S1 :5 %E KNEW ,M>Y _H MADE ! :OLE
?+ \ (A MUSL9 BL4 ,I REGRET HAV+ US$ ?
>GU;T1 B X 0 ! ONLY "O T RE,Y DAMP$ H]4
  ,ON ! O!R H&1 %E A3US$ ME ( SPOIL+ HM4
  ,( N ?9K+ ( 8 FUTURE4
  ,( N"E ASK+ HM ": HE EXPECT$ 6G 6IF HE
DID S* ?+S4
  ,( TELL+ HM TALES T _H NO MORAL
APPLIC,N4
  ,( SAY+ T ! H&K]*IEF 4APPE>$ 96NO?+;S1
:5 X RE,Y 4APPE>$ 96A SMALL T9 CUP1
ATTA*$ 6MY P]SON 0A PIECE ( ELA/IC4
  ,6? LA/ *>GE ,I PL1D GUILTY1 = 9 ^?
"DS ,I _H A PA!TIC FAI? 9 LEG]DEMA91 &!
EYEBR[ F1T 7:1 H["E1 IS 5TIRELY AN A6AIR
( SKILL7 HAV+ YIELD$ S* GD RESULTS1 ,I
NATUR,Y CA/ AB = SIMIL> DIV].NS :5 X
C1S$ 6ATTRACT4 ,X LO/ XS HOLD ON ,DAVID
SU45LY1 Z ,I 0 64COV] 0 ! FATE ( ALL (
!M2 TW5TY "TS WD HE CALL = MY LATE/1 &
EXULT 9 X1 &! TW5TY-F/ "T 7& "E AFW7 HE
WD />E BLANKLY1 Z IF WOND]+ :AT ! MAN
M1NT4 ,HE 0 L ! * QUE5 :O1 :5 ! GRT JOKE
0 EXPLA9$ 6H]1 SD COLDLY1 8,WE >E N
AMUS$10 &1 ,I ASSURE Y1 X IS A HUMILIAT+
?+ 6P]=M 2F AN 9FANT :O 9TIMATES1 AF
GIV+ Y AMPLE "T 6MAKE YR PO9TS1 T HE IS
N AMUS$4 ,I HOP$ T :5 ,DAVID 0 A# 6TALK
--& N M]ELY 6/>E AT ME = FIVE M9UTES &
!N SAY 8HAT0--HIS SPOK5 V]DICT1 H["E
DAMN+1 WD 2 LESS EXPRESSIVE ?AN 8 V]DICT
)\T ^WS1 B ,I 0 4ILLU.N$4 ,I REMEMB]
ONCE 9 ^? LAT] YE>S1 :5 HE CD KEEP UP S*
_S$ 3V]S,NS ) HMF T HE _H LL NE$ = ANY (
U1 PROMIS+ HM 6D "S?+ EXCE$+LY FUNNY )A
BOX & TWO M>#S1 & AF HE _H WAT*$ =A L;G
"T HE SD GRAVELY1 8,TELL ME :5 X 2G9S
6BE FUNNY40
  ,I 3FESS 6HAV+ RCVD A FEW SIMPLE
LESSONS 9 3JUR+1 9 A DIMLY LI<T$ *AMB]
2N A %OP1 F A GIFT$ "Y MAN )A L;G NECK
&A PIMPLY FACE1 :O Z ,I 5T]$ TOOK A
B>B]'S POLE F MY POCKET1 SAY+ AT ! SAME
"T1 8,-E1 -E1 SIR1 ? W N"E D40 ,:E!R 2C
HE KNEW TOO M*1 OR 2C HE WORE A TRICK
%IRT1 HE 0 ! MO/ DEPRESS+ P]SON ,I "E
5C.T]$2 HE FELT N"O (! >TI/'S JOY1 & X 0
SAD 6SEE "O S WELL CALCULAT$ 6GIVE
PL1SURE 6?\S&S N C>+ A DUMP AB X4
  ,! B>B]'S POLE ,I SU3ESS;LLY EXTRACT$
F ,DAVID'S M\?1 B ! DI6ICULTY 7N =ESE57
( "K+ H[ 64POSE (A B>B]'S POLE 9 !
,K5S+TON ,G>D5S IS 3SID]A#1 "! ALW 2+
POLITE *N HOV]+ NE> :O RUN AF Y & RE/ORE
X 6Y4 ,! "Y MAN1 AG1 _H SD T ANY"O WD
L5D ME A BOTTLE OR A LEMON1 B ?\< ^! 7
>TICLES ON : HE SEEM$ "E A# 6LAY 8 H&1
,I F.D 7:AT ,I _H N"E NOTIC$ 2F7 T "! IS
A CURI\S DE>? ( !M 9 ! ,G>D5S4 ,! MAGIC
EGG-CUP ,I USU,Y C>RI$ AB ) ME1 &) XS
3NIV.E ,I DID "S A/ONI%+ ?+S ) P5NIES1 B
EV5 ! P5NY T CO/S SIXP;E IS UNC]TA91 & J
:5 Y >E SAY+ TRIUMPHANTLY T X W 2 F.D 9
! EGG-CUP1 X MAY CLATT] 6! GR.D1 ":ON "S
UNG5]\S SPECTATOR1 S* Z ,IR5E1 A3USES Y
( FI2+ & CORRUPT+ Y\?;L M9DS4 ,X 0 USE.S
6TELL H]1 "? CL5*$ TEE?1 T ! :OLE ?+ 0 A
JOKE1 = %E "U/OOD NO JOKES EXCEPT H] [N1
( : %E _H ! MO/ IMMOD]ATELY HI< OP9ION1
& T WD H MATT]$ LL 6ME _H N ,DAVID LIK$
!M AL4 ,"! 7 "TS :5 ,I CD N B ?9K LESS
(! BOY1 SEE+ HM ROCK 3VULS$ OV] ANTICS (
,IR5E T H BE5 "KN 6E NURSEMAID S9CE !
YE> ,"O4 ,:ILE ,I /OOD BY1 SNE]+1 HE WD
GIVE ME ! EC/ATIC LOOK T M1NT1 8,IR5E IS
RE,Y V 5T]TA9+1 ISN'T %E80
  ,WE 7 RIVALS1 B ,I DESIRE 6TR1T H] )
SCRUPUL\S FAIR;S1 & ,I ADMIT T %E _H "O
GD ?+1 6WIT1 H] GUTTA-P]*A TOO?4 ,9
E>LI] "DS "O ( H] FRONT TEE?1 Z %E TOLD
ME1 _H FALL5 \1 B 9/1D ( !N "P+ ) X1 !
RES\RCE;L * _H HAMM]$ X 9 AG )A HAIR-
BRU%1 : %E (F]$ 6%[ ME1 )! D5TS ON X4 ,?
TOO?1 HAV+ 9 "T PASS$ AWAY1 XS PLACE 0
SUPPLI$ 0"O ( GUTTA-P]*A1 MADE 0H]F1 :
SELDOM CAME \ EXCEPT :5 %E SNEEZ$1 & IF
X M]ELY FELL AT H] FEET ? 0 A SIGN T !
COLD 0 6BE A SLI<T "O1 B IF X %OT ACR !
ROOM %E KNEW %E 0 9 = "S?+ NOTA#4
,IR5E'S TOO? 0 V FAV\RABLY "KN 9 !
,G>D5S1 ": ! P]AMBULATORS US$ 6GA!R R.D
H] 6HE> :E!R X _H BE5 DO+ ANY?+ TD1 & ,I
WD N H GRUDG$ ,DAVID 8 PROPRIET>Y PRIDE
9 X1 _H HE SEEM$ 6"U/& T ,IR5E'S "O POOR
LL A3OMPLI%;T1 ?\< UND5IABLY %[Y1 0 )\T
9TELLECTUAL M]IT4 ,I H "S"TS /ALK$ AWAY
F HM1 9TIMAT+ T IF 8 REG>D 0 6BE GOT S
*1PLY ,I BE7$ 6RETIRE F ! -PETI;N1 B !
,G>D5S >E ! PL1SANTE/ CLUB 9 ,LONDON1 &
,I SOON RETURN$4 ,H[ ,I SC\R$ ! ,G>D5S
LOOK+ = HM1 & H[ SKIL;L ,I 2CAME AT
PICK+ HM \ F> AWAY AM;G ! TREES1 ?\< O!R
"MS IMITAT$ ! PICTURESQUE ATTIRE ( HM1
6,M>Y'S 9DIGN,N4 ,I AL CUT ,IR5E'S W+S
7S 6SP1K7 0TAK+ H] 6A D5TI/4
  ,& ,DAVID DID "S ADORA# ?+S4 ,= 9/.E1
HE US$ MY POCKETS Z RECEPTACLES 96: HE
PUT ANY >TICLE HE MI<T N HAPP5 6WANT AT
! MO;T4 ,HE %OV$ X IN1 Q Z IF !Y 7 8 [N
POCKETS1 )\T SAY+1 ,0YR L1VE1 & P]H ,I
4COV]$ X ON R1*+ HOME--A T9-SOLDI]1 OR A
PI/OL--:5 ,I PUT X ON MY MANTLE%ELF &
SI<$4 ,& "H IS ANO!R PL1SANT MEMORY4 ,"O
"D ,I _H BE5 OV]-FRLY 6ANO!R BOY1 &1 AF
5DUR+ X = "S "T ,DAVID UP & /RUCK HM4 ,X
0 EXACTLY Z ,POR?OS DOES1 :5 ,I FAV\R
O!R DOGS 7HE KNOCKS !M D[N ) 8 FOOT &
/&S OV] !M1 LOOK+ V NO# & /]N71 S ,I
KNEW XS M1N+ AT ONCE2 X 0 ,DAVID'S F/
PUBLIC 9TIM,N T HE KNEW ,I 2L;G$ 6HM4
  ,IR5E SCOLD$ HM = /RIK+ T BOY1 & MADE
HM /& 9 4GRACE AT ! CORN] (A S1T 9 !
,BROAD ,WALK4 ,! S1T AT ! CORN] ( :
,DAVID /OOD SU6]+ = LOVE ( ME1 IS ! "O
NE>E/ 6! ,R.D ,POND 6P]SONS -+ F ! NOR?4
  ,Y MAY 2 SURE T %E & ,I _H ^WS OV] ?
FI5DI% CRUELTY4 ,:5 NEXT WE MET ,I TR1T$
H] Z "O :O NO L;G] EXI/$1 & AT F/ %E
BRIDL$ & !N 0 DEPRESS$1 & Z ,I 0 GO+
AWAY %E BUR/ 96TE>S4 ,%E CRI$ 2C NEI AT
MEET+ NOR "P+ _H ,I LIFT$ MY HAT 6H]1 A
FOOLI% CU/OM ( M9E1 ( :1 Z ,I N[ LE>N$
6MY SURPRISE1 %E 0 V PR\D4 ,%E & ,I / H
\R TI6S1 B ,I H N"E S9CE !N =GOTT5 6LIFT
MY HAT 6,IR5E4 ,I AL MADE H] PROMISE 6B[
6ME1 AT : %E A6ECT$ 6SC(F1 SAY+ ,I 0
TAK+ MY FUN ( H]1 B %E 0 RE,Y PL1S$1 &
,I TELL Y1 ,IR5E HAS "O (! PRETTIE/ &
MO/ T\*+ LL B[S IMAG9A#2 X IS HALF 6!
SIDE 7IF ,I MAY S EXPRESS MYF71 : HAS
ALW BE5 MY FAV\RITE B[1 &1 ,I D\BT N1 %E
ACQUIR$ X 0WAT*+ ,M>Y4
  ,I %D 2 SORRY 6H X ?"\1 Z Y MAY N[ 2
?9K+1 T ,I LOOK ON *N Z ON PUPPY-DOGS1
:O C>E ONLY = PLAY4 ,P]H T 0 MY IDEA :5
F/ ,I TRI$ 6LURE ,DAVID 6MY UNA3U/OM$
>MS1 & EV5 = "S "T AF1 = IF ,I AM 6BE
C&ID1 ,I M/ [N T UNTIL HE 0 ?REE YE>S
OLD ,I S"\ M]ELY 6AMUSE HM4 ,GOD =GIVE
ME1 B ,I _H ONLY "O "D A WEEK 9 :
6CAPTURE HM1 & ,I 0 V RAW AT ! BUSI;S4
  ,I 0 AB 6SAY T ,DAVID OP5$ MY EYES 6!
FOLLY ( X1 B RE,Y ,I ?9K ? 0 ,IR5E'S
DO+4 ,WAT*+ H] ) *N ,I LE>N$ T "PIAL Z
!Y >E 6FUN !Y >E MOV$ ALM M PROF.DLY
0MORAL EXCELL;E4 ,S FOND ( BABES 0 ? LL
"M T %E _H ALW ROOM NE> H] = "O M1 & (T5
H ,I SE5 H] 9 ! ,G>D5S1 ! C5TRE (A DOZ5
MITES :O GAZ$ AWE/RUCK AT H] :ILE %E
TOLD !M SEV]ELY H[ LL LADIES & G5TLEM5
2HAVE4 ,!Y 7 *N (! WELL-TO-PASS1 & %E 0
F ,DRURY ,LANE1 B
!Y 2LIEV$ 9 H] Z ! GRTE/ ( ALL
AU?ORITIES ON LL LADIES & G5TLEM51 &! M
!Y HE>D ( H[ ^! ROMANTIC CR1TURES KEEP
!MVS TIDY & AVOID POOLS & WAIT TILL !Y
-E 6A GATE1 ! M !Y ADMIR$ !M1 ?\< _!
FACES %[$ H[ PROF.DLY !Y FELT T 6BE LL
LADIES & G5TLEM5 0 N = !M4 ,Y C'T ?9K
:AT HOPE.S LL FACES !Y W]E4
  ,*N >E N AT ALL L PUPPIES1 ,I H SD4 ,B
D PUPPIES C>E ONLY = PLAY8 ,T WI/;L
LOOK1 : ! M]RIE/ ( !M "S"TS WE>1 ,I
WOND] :E!R X M1NS T !Y WD L 6HE> AB ! GD
PUPPIES8
  ,Z Y % SEE1 ,I 9V5T$ _M /ORIES =
,DAVID1 PRACTIS+ ! TELL+ ( !M 0MY
FIRESIDE Z IF !Y 7 3JUR+ F1TS1 :ILE
,IR5E KNEW ONLY "O1 B %E TOLD X Z N"E
HAS ANY O!R FAIRY-TALE BE5 TOLD 9 MY
HE>+4 ,X 0 ! PRETTIE/ ( !M ALL1 & 0
RECIT$ 0! H]O9E4
  8,:Y 7 ! K+ & QUE5 N AT HOME80 ,DAVID
WD ASK H] BR1?.SLY4
  8,I SUPPOSE10 SD ,IR5E1 ?9K+ X \1 8!Y
0 AWAY BUY+ ! VICTUALS40
  ,%E ALW TOLD ! /ORY GAZ+ 96VACANCY1 S
T ,DAVID ?"\ X 0 RE,Y HAPP5+ "S": UP !
,BROAD ,WALK1 & :5 %E CAME 6XS GRT MO;TS
H] LL BOSOM H1V$4 ,N"E % ,I =GET !
3C5TRAT$ SCORN ) : ! PR9CE SD 6! SI/]S1
8,NEI ( Y A9'T ! "O :AT WORE ! GLASS
SLIPP]40
  8,& !N--& !N--& !N--10 SD ,IR5E1 N
>TI/IC,Y 69CR1SE ! SUSP5SE1 B 2C X 0 ALL
S GLORI\S 6H]4
  8,TELL ME--TELL ME QK10 CRI$ ,DAVID1
?\< HE KNEW ! TALE 0HE>T4
  8,%E SITS D[N L10 SD ,IR5E1 TREMBL+ 9
SECOND-SI<T1 8& %E TRIES ON ! GLASS
SLIPP]1 & X FITS H] 6A ;,T1 & !N !
PR9CE1 HE CRIES 9 A R++ VOICE1 ,8,? "H
IS MY TRUE LOVE1 ,C9D]ELLA1 :AT N[ ,I
MAKES MY LAW;L W$D$ WIFE40'0
  ,!N %E WD -E \ ( H] DR1M1 & LOOK R.D
AT ! GR&EES (! ,G>D5S ) AN EXTRAORD9>Y
EL,N4 8,H]1 Z 0 ONLY A KIT*5 DRUDGE10 %E
WD SAY 9 A /RANGE S(T VOICE &) %9+ EYES1
8B 0 TRUE & FAI?;L 9 ^W & DE$1 S* 0 H]
REW>D40
  ,I AM SURE T _H ! FAIRY GOD"M APPE>$ J
!N & T\*$ ,IR5E ) H] W&1 ,DAVID WD H BE5
9T]E/$ R ?AN A/ONI%$4 ,Z = MYF1 ,I
2LIEVE ,I H SURPRIS$ ? LL GIRL'S SECRET4
,%E "KS "! >E NO FAIRY GOD"MS N[A"DS1 B
%E HOPES T IF %E IS ALW TRUE & FAI?;L %E
MAY "S "D TURN 96A LADY 9 ^W & DE$1 L !
MI/RESS :OM %E ADORES4
  ,X IS A D1D SECRET1 A ,DRURY ,LANE *'S
ROM.E2 B :AT AN AM.T ( H1VY >TILL]Y W 2
BR"\ 6BE> AG/ X 9 ? SAD ,LONDON ( \RS4
,N M* *.E = H]1 ,I SUPPOSE4
  ,GD LUCK 6Y1 ,IR5E4























