
,,:AT'S ,A ,,SPITBALL8
0,B>B>A ,PI]CE

  ,E YE> ! ,N,NAL ,F$],N (! ,BL 3DUCTS A
SEM9> =! P>5TS ( BL *N AT XS ,N,NAL
,3V5;N4 ,(T5 P>5TS ATT5D+ ! SEM9> H N"E
MET SU3ESS;L BL ADULTS & H N _H ! *.E
6TALK ) O!R P>5TS ( BL *N4 ,X IS A "T =
(F]+ 5C\RAGE;T & ADVICE1 A "T = %>+
HOPES & FE>S4 ,B>B>A ,PI]CE HAS BE5 BL
S9CE *ILDHOOD & IS ! "M ( ?REE *N1 :O >E
N[ ADULTS4 ,"H IS :AT %E _H 6SAY 6P>5TS
( BL *N AT \R REC5T P>5TS' SEM9>4

,MY LA/ * J GRADUAT$ F HI< S*OOL1 : M1NS
    T1 =
BETT] OR WORSE1 ,I'VE D"O :AT ,I C Z A
    P>5T -- EXCEPT = PAY+ ! COLLEGE
    BILLS & WORRY+4 ,I'M 9 E6ECT F9I%$ )
    :AT ,I C D 6%APE MY *N1 : 9 TURN
    M1NS T ,I W NECESS>ILY 2G9 6=GET ALL
    ! T\< "TS4 ,? MAKES ME AN EXP]T1 B
    ,I HOPE Y W TAKE :AT ,I H 6SAY
    S]I\SLY1 DESPITE MY N[ L(TY /ATUS4
,"O (! MO/ IMPORTANT JOBS T P>5TS H 6BE
    IS 6SET /&>DS
& 6-MUNICATE ^? /&>DS 6_! *N4 ,WE D T
    ALL ! "T4 ,PROBABLY ! MO/ FREQU5TLY
    US$ & L1/ E6ECTIVE ME?OD WE EMPLOY Z
    P>5TS IS NA7+3 8,TUCK 9 YR %IRT40
    8,KEEP YR M\? CLOS$ :5 Y *EW40 8,H Y
    WRITT5 T ?ANK-Y NOTE803
^? K9DS ( ?+S4
,F> M P]VASIVELY & M E6ECTIVELY1 WE
    E/ABLI% /&>DS 9 \R *N'S LIVES
    0EXAMPLE & 0EXPECT,N4 ,? IS C]TA9LY
    TRUE 9 E >EA ( LIFE1 B X IS NO": M
    EVID5T ?AN 9 T1*+ BL;S-3NECT$ SKILLS
    & ATTITUDES4 ,= AF ALL1 YR BL *N1
    :E!R !Y 2 YR /UD5TS OR YR [N "Y/]S1
    >E SURR.D$ 0"S PRETTY L\SY ATTITUDES
    & "S PRETTY L[ /&>DS4
,YR JOB IS 6WAVE ! FLAG & 6MAKE SURE T !
    EXPECT,NS &
! /&>DS !Y ADOPT Z _! [N >E HI<4 ,:AT YR
    ATTITUDES >E W1 9 SIGNIFICANT
    M1SURE1 DET]M9E :AT YR *N ?9K AB
    BL;S & ?9K AB !MVS Z BL P4 ,S Y'VE
    GOT 6BE C>E;L & WAT*;L & M9D;L AT
    ALL "TS AB :AT X IS T Y >E DO+ &
    SAY+ & DEMON/RAT+ & -MUNICAT+ 6YR *4
,Y %D KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON :AT SI<T$ *N (
    YR "Y/]'S
[N AGE & ABIL;Y LEVEL >E DO+4 ,>E !Y
    *OOS+ _! [N CLO?+ 9 ! MORN+8 ,!N YR
    * "\ 6BE LE>N+ T /RIPES & PLAIDS
    --:AT"E ^? >E -- DON'T G TGR1 T R$ &
    ORANGE >E N A HAPPY -B9,N1 T ,B]MUDA
    %ORTS >E N ! APPROPRIATE ?+ 6WE>
    6*UR* ON ,SUN"D MORN+4 ,BL *N NE$
    6LE>N ^? ?+S1 & !Y DON'T LE>N !M
    0HAV+ ! CLO!S PLUNK$ D[N ON ! BOTTOM
    ( _! B$S E MORN+ = !M )! 9/RUC;N
    6CLIMB 96!M4
  ,D Y EXPECT YR O!R *N 6D *ORES >.D !
      H\SE8 ,!N
DON'T GIVE ! BL * ! EASY "OS4 ,! WAY
    6MAKE SIBL+S 4LIKE A BL * IS ALW
    6GIVE HM OR H] ! EASY ?+S 6D OR ALW
    6LET ! BL KID (F3
8,B X'S H>D4 ,I DIDN'T GET ! W9D[ CL1N
    2C ,I C'T SEE X40
8,G BACK & D X AG1 KID40 ,Z A P>5T OR A
    T1*]1 Y'VE GOT TO
KEEP YR /&>DS HI<4
,I REMEMB] 2+ TWELVE4 ,MY "M DIDN'T "K
    O!R BL *N4 ,X
0 ,I :O 4COV]$ T MY FRS ALL WA%$ _! [N
    HAIR4 ,AT T "T WE SET \R HAIR &
    SLEPT ON CURL]S4 ,REMEMB]8 ,!Y 7 ALL
    DO+ T = !MVS4 ,I WASN'T1 & ,I BR"\ ?
    6MY "M'S ATT5;N4
,I HOPE T1 Z AL]T P>5TS1 Y WD 2 ! "OS
    6NOTICE ? &
BR+ X 6YR *'S ATT5;N4 ,%E SIMPLY DIDN'T
    H ANY WAY ( RECOGNIZ+ T GAP1 B %E _H
    ! WIT &! GD S5SE 6SAY1 8,"H'S !
    %AMPOO4 ,I ?9K X'LL 2 EASI] = Y ! F/
    "T 6G WA% X 9 ! BASE;T ?AN 9 !
    BA?TUB4 ,%\T :5 Y ?9K X'S CL1N1 &
    ,I'LL *ECK Y40 ,T 0 ! LA/ "T %E _H
    ANY?+ 6D ) WA%+ MY HAIR4
,Y'VE GOT 6BE AL]T 6T SORT ( SITU,N4
,:5 A BL OR L[ VI.N P]SON DROPS "S?+ &
    DOESN'T SEE ": X L&S1 X IS
    APPROPRIATE = T P]SON1 9 AN ORD]LY1
    E6ICI5T WAY1 6SE>* ! >EA4 ,X IS NO M
    9APPROPRIATE 6SE>* )! H&S 9 AN
    ORD]LY FA%ION = "S?+ ?AN X IS 6GL.E
    >.D & SURVEY AN >EA 6SEE ": ! ?+ L&$
    & PICK X UP4 ,Y D N B5EFIT ! * 0ALW
    H&+ BACK ?+S T H BE5 DROPP$4 ,A * W
    N 2 4C\RAG$ F DROPP+ A /YLUS ON !
    FLOOR 3/ANTLY IF Y ALW RETRIEVE X4
,WORRY :5 YR * -ES HOME 9 ! FIF? GRADE &
    SAYS1 8,T1*]
SAYS ,I DON'T H 6TAKE SPELL+ TE/40 ,S9CE
    :5 0 X OKAY = YR * 6H FEW] GRADES 9
    SPELL+ ?AN "EYBODY ELSE8 ,! MESSAGE
    GIV5 IS T SPELL+ IS N IMPORTANT =A
    BL *4 ,OBJECT4
    ,WORRY :5 YR HI< S*OOL SOPHOMORE
        DR1DS = AN 5TIRE SEME/] !
ASSIGN;T (! RESE>* PAP] & !N -ES HOME
    HI<] ?AN A KITE 2C %E'S J BE5 TOLD
    0H] ,5GLI% T1*] T HE R1LIZES RESE>*
    WD 2 EXTREMELY H>D = H]1 & "!=E IF
    %E W D A LL BIT ( RESE>* & !N SIT
    D[N & TELL HM AB X ON A CASSETTE
    TAPE1 T W 2 SU6ICI5T4 ,T * HAS J LO/
    SEV5TY-FIVE P]C5T (! VALUE (A RESE>*
    PAP]4
    ,Z AN OLD ,5GLI% T1*] & Z ! WIFE (
        AN ,5GLI% PROFESSOR1 ,I C
TELL Y T ! 4CIPL9E ( ORGANIZ+ YR ?9K+1
    %AP+ X 96P>AGRAPHS1 F9D+ ! "R ^WS1
    SPELL+ !M A3URATELY1 PUNCTUAT+ !M
    CORRECTLY1 & !N FIGUR+ \ A WAY (
    GETT+ !M LEGIBLY PRES5T$ = 3SID],N
    0! T1*] IS A SIGNIFICANT M1SURE (!
    4CIPL9E4 ,S9CE :5 DID YR * N NE$ T
    K9D ( PRACTICE 9 ORD] 6SU3E$ 9 LIFE8
    ,2 C>E;L :5 Y SEE YR * TRY+ 6USE
    BL;S Z AN EXCUSE =
GETT+ \ ( PUNI%;T4 ,N[ X'S 3FES.N "T4 ,I
    _HN'T ?"\ AB ? /ORY 9 YE>S4 ,I 0 9 !
    SEV5? GRADE :5 "SBODY 9 MY HOME ROOM
    S5T A SPITBALL T[>D ! HOMEROOM T1*]1
    & HE DIDN'T "K :O ! (F5D] WAS4 ,!
    GUY DIDN'T /& UP & 3FESS4 ,NOBODY WD
    RAT ON HM1 S ! T1*] SD1 8,ALL "R1 Y
    ALL /AY 9 = DET5;N UNTIL "SBODY
    TELLS ME :O DID ?40 ,:5"E ,I MISS$
    MY S*OOL BUS1 ,I _H 6TAKE ! /REETC>
    UN.S ,I "W$ X \ ) MY "M T %E'D PICK
    ME UP F S*OOL4 ,I WASN'T C]TA9 (!
    R\TE HOME ON T /REETC>4 ,I 0 N]V\S
    AB X4 ,I DIDN'T WANT 6H 6/AY AF
    S*OOL = DET5;N4 ,X WASN'T 3V5I5T OR
    HELP;L 6ME4
    ,I WALK$ UP 6T MAN & SD1 8,I DON'T
        ?9K T ,I 0 GUILTY ( DO+
:AT"E X WAS1 B WD Y TELL ME :AT A
    SPITBALL IS80 ,! MAN %D H

  "KN T ANY TWELVE-YE>-OLD "KS :AT A
SPITBALL IS1 EV5 IF %E'S N C]TA9 AB H[
6PROPEL X "? ! AIR AT ! SPE$ ) : T "O _H
-E AT HM4
  ,HE %D H SD 6ME1 8,Y'LL /AY A WEEK
L;G] ?AN "EYBODY ELSE DOES10 B HE
DIDN'T4 ,8 EYES MI/$ OV]1 & HE TOLD ME T
,I C]TA9LY DIDN'T H 6/AY4 ,I AM A%AM$
6ADMIT ? 6Y4
  ,"H IS ANO!R "O4 ,YR "Y/] BR+S 6Y !
,5GLI% ASSIGN;T T HAS J BE5 LABORI\SLY
TYP$ ON ! TYPEWRIT]1 & Y 4COV] T ! TWO-
YE>-OLD 0 MESS+ )! KEYBO>D & FLIPP$ !
/5CIL KEY OR T ! TYPEWRIT] RI2ON RAN \4
,:AT D Y D !N8 ,Y DON'T SAY1 8,I'LL
WRITE A NOTE TM TELL+ ! T1*] T Y RE,Y
DID X1 B T1 2C Y >E BL1 Y DIDN'T NOTICE
T ! PR9T WASN'T ON ! PAGE40
  ,9DEP5D;E IS GO+ ": Y WANT TO1 :5 Y
WANT TO1 & DO+ :AT Y WANT 0YRF1 ORGANIZ+
:AT Y WANT 6D & GETT+ X D"O4 ,IF Y C D
T1 :E!R Y'RE US+ R1D]S OR TAXIS OR CANES
OR A DOG1 Y'RE 9DEP5D5T4 ,X IS IMPORTANT
T Y "U/& T T'S :AT 3/ITUTES 9DEP5D;E4
  ,YR JOB IS 6T1* YR * &! P >.D YR * !
VALUE ( "S (! ?+S T >E S V IMPORTANT AB
BL;S3 :Y X IS NEC =A BL "Y/] 6MA/] ,BRL
& 6BE A# 6USE A SLATE & /YLUS E6ICI5TLY1
RAPIDLY1 & E6ECTIVELY & :Y X'S IMPORTANT
= YR * 6BE DO+ ALL (! S*OOL"W4
  ,H[ D Y "K :AT ! MO/ IMPORTANT ?+S >E8
,Y LOOK >.D Y4 ,Y F9D BL ADULTS :O >E !
K9D ( P Y WD L 6SEE YR * GR[ UP 6BE4 ,&
Y C 2 SURE T IF T P]SON IS ! K9D ( P]SON
T Y HOPE YR * W BE1 !N ! /&>DS &!
ATTITUDES T P]SON HAS >E PROBABLY ! "OS
Y WANT 69/ILL 9 YR "Y/]4 ,Y R1D ! ,N,NAL
,F$],N (! ,BL'S ,BRL ,MONITOR & ,FUTURE
,REFLEC;NS 7XS MAGAZ9E =! P>5TS ( BL
*N74 ,Y R1D ! >TICLES & POND] !M 9 YR
HE>T4
  ,YR * W GR[ & 2G9 6H ! SOLID1 /R;G
ATTITUDES AB BL;S T W RESULT 9 8 OR H]
LIV+ A FULL & PRODUCTIVE LIFE1 & YR JOB
W 2 -PLETE4
























